Disclaimer: It belongs to S.E. Hinton

I arrived at school the next morning with a pit in my stomach. I didn't know if Pony would want to talk to me, and my policy has always been not to push my students, but I couldn't help the feeling that he wouldn't have written something like this if he hadn't wanted me to take notice, to ask about it. All I knew was this – he didn't have to turn this in to me. With the talent this kid has, he could have whipped up something really fast and just turned that in. He made his choice, so I made mine.

When I checked his schedule, I was happy to find that he had lunch when I was off. Now it was just a matter of seeing if he would give up some of that precious free time to talk to me. I knew a lot of my students would have said yes in a heartbeat, but I also knew to tread lightly with this one. He might say yes quickly, but he might just as easily say no. It would all depend on the way I approached it.

When it was time for his class to come in, I watched him take his self-chosen seat in the back of the room. Even though he dressed like the tougher kids in the class, I knew enough now to see the vulnerability in his eyes even though it was clear to me that he was also trying desperately to hide it. I waited until everyone was seated and the bell had rung to address the class.

"So guess what everybody?" I started cheerfully. They looked at me expectantly, and I shook my head laughing. "No, I should just tell you. You'll never guess."

Ted called out, jokingly, "Don't tell us you graded the themes already, Mrs. Nelson… there's no way you could work that fast."

I didn't even bother answering. I reached behind me and pulled the papers out of where I'd been hiding them, and most of my students' jaws dropped in shock.

"Whoah…" Ted muttered. "Who are you, and what did you do with our English teacher?"

"Well," I teased as I circulated the room, dropping the papers on the students' desks, "when the product is so good, I can't stop myself. I become a speed demon."

They laughed but were quickly silent, reading through the comments I'd written in the margins of their papers. I'd saved Pony's paper for last, so I could talk to him when I returned it. He looked at me anxiously when I finally reached his desk, and I crouched down, so I was at his eye level. After reading about everything he'd been through, I wasn't surprised to see his reaction to the A+ on the last page of his very long theme.

"Pony," I said quietly, "this paper is one of the best I've ever read. Would you stop by during your lunch period today, so I can talk to you about it for a little while? It won't take very long, so you can still meet up with your friends."

He tried to hide it, but I noticed that he flinched slightly when I mentioned his friends, and that's when it occurred to me. He'd probably eaten lunch with Johnny everyday. So many parts of his life had changed, even the seemingly inconsequential ones like who he'd sit with in the school cafeteria. He nodded quickly, though. He almost seemed relieved by the invitation.

"Sure, Mrs. Nelson. Should I just come here?"

I nodded, relieved that he didn't say no. "Yeah, I'll be here. Talk to you then."

I walked away from his desk, my heart aching for him. Suddenly, his lunch period seemed very far away.

It wasn't, of course. In two short hours, I had just sat down at my desk in the quiet of the classroom when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in!" I shouted and felt a small rush of gratitude when Pony pushed open the door and sat down in a seat in front of my desk.

I smiled at him. "I'm glad you came," I said cheerfully.

"I'm glad you asked me," he replied softly. He reached into his backpack then and pulled out his theme. Then he hesitated and turned to me. "I also have a sandwich with me… do you … do you mind if I eat it here?"

I shook my head quickly. "Of course not. Please, eat."

To make him more comfortable, I pulled out my lunch as well. Then I said, "want to move your seat over here? That way we can look at the theme together."

He nodded and picked up his chair, moving it alongside of my desk, bringing his lunch with him. Suddenly sitting side by side, I was calmer and felt more confident. His theme had shaken me up, but this position of sitting with a student over a paper was a return to normalcy. And when I relaxed, I sensed that Pony did too. It always amazes me just how my students pick up any vibes I may be sending.

I took his theme from where it was in danger of becoming coated with mustard, and I flipped through it.

"Can I tell you which parts were my favorite?" I asked.

He nodded eagerly. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to boost his confidence. It was clear to me that he'd never received this much individualized attention from a teacher before, and he was relishing every minute of it.

The first page I stopped on was the one where he'd described Soda's horse. I watched him as he looked down at it, and he paled slightly. Then he smiled.

"He'd kill me if he knew I'd written about that."

I laughed. "Well, don't worry. The only way he'd ever know is if it were ever published."

Pony laughed too. "Some chance of that happening."

We were both starting to relax, but as I traveled further into his story with him, he started to tense up again. I knew he was reliving it with me, and I wanted to find some way of telling him that it was ok to talk about it.

We had just read what he had written about Dally dying when I looked at the clock. There were still 20 minutes left. And as we sat there, I knew we'd need every second of it. Because in the silence that followed our brief discussion of his very vivid imagery, I heard his breathing change, and when I looked at him, he was looking down and away.

"Pony," I almost whispered, "it's ok to still be sad about this. I'm sad about it too."

He didn't turn back, but he did start to talk.

"I don't know how to feel… I guess I learned with my parents that missing them won't bring them back… but I don't know how to feel better. Because this wasn't mom or dad… these were my friends. They…" and he couldn't go on. His shoulders had started to shake, and I sat quietly, saying nothing, unaware that my hand had drifted to his back where I patted him gently, waiting for him to calm down. It took him a few minutes to pull himself together, to finally look back at me, and when he did, he smiled halfheartedly, swiping at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand.

"Thanks," he mumbled, staring down at the theme again. I took one look at him and closed it, pushing it back across the desk, so he could put it away. he looked at me in surprise, and I smiled gently.

"Pony, I think you've had enough conferencing for one day. But if you ever want to come back again this period, just stop by. You never have to ask."

He smiled at me, but I could see that his eyes were still full of tears as he turned to glance at the clock. He turned back to me and said, "I know we have five minutes left, but would it be ok if I stayed until the end?"

"Of course," I said quickly. I could tell he wanted to say something else, so I looked away to give him the courage to say whatever it was without having to face my direct eye contact.

It came out quietly, but he sounded nervous. "You won't… you won't tell anyone about this conference, right?"

My heart almost broke, but I acted as casually as I possibly could. "Why would I?" I asked, glancing at him, and he actually relaxed again, smiling more than he had earlier.

"Thanks, Mrs. Nelson. I'm glad I'm in this class."

I looked him in the eye for the first time since he'd broken down. "So am I, Pony. So am I."