Disclaimer: It belongs to S.E. Hinton.
I woke early the next morning and without a problem for a change. I knew I had to get to school on time for my meeting with Darry and Pony, and for once, I wasn't tempted to sleep through my alarm clock. I showered and dressed in record time and was out the door before my husband even turned over in bed.
When I got to school, I went directly to my classroom, which was where Darry and I had agreed we should meet. I didn't want Pony to feel like we were ganging up on him, not if we were going to have any chance of reaching him, so I figured a familiar environment would be best.
I was there early, so I'd just started planning out some lessons for later in the week when I heard a knock on the door. I put down my pen and looked up expectantly.
"Come in," I called out, relaxing slightly when Darry walked in the room, followed by a very sullen-looking Ponyboy. I sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. I motioned for them to sit at the desks in front of mine, and they both did, Pony refusing to make eye contact as he stared intently at the intricate designs that had been carved into the wood. Darry looked at me helplessly, obviously at a loss for where to begin. I knew I would have to take the lead, so I sat forward in my chair and looked straight at Ponyboy.
"Pony, I want you to know why we're having this meeting today. It isn't to punish you, but it is because your brother and I are both worried about you. I won't lie. I'm very disappointed that you missed my class. But if this were a disciplinary meeting, the dean would be here. I called Darry because I think there's more to you not coming to English than just an impulsive decision to cut class, and we wanted you to have a chance to explain it."
Pony didn't look up, and he didn't answer. Darry sighed and leaned over to him.
"Pone," he said softly, "it'd be stupid not to say something now. You have a chance to tell your side here. Take it."
At first, it seemed like Pony was still going to remain in his cocoon of silence, but by mutual agreement, Darry and I sat back and waited… and it paid off.
"I'm sorry," Pony mumbled, so quietly at first that neither Darry nor I were sure that he'd even spoken. I leaned forward again, and Darry put his hand on Pony's shoulder.
"What did you say, little buddy?" he asked gently, and Pony suddenly looked up, his eyes suspiciously bright.
"I said I'm sorry," he choked. "I don't know what I was doing. When I heard all that stuff about Bob, part of me even wanted to talk to you about it, Mrs. Nelson, but it's the school that's doing it, and you work for the school! I just couldn't say anything to you without knowing how you'd react, and I was afraid of how I would face you if it turned out that you didn't understand. And then after I didn't come that first day, I didn't know how I'd ever come back…" Here he trailed off, and I could immediately see how embarrassed he was to be in danger of losing control, so I started to speak to give him a chance to compose himself.
"Pony, I'm so glad I got a chance to hear your side of this. I knew you'd be upset that day, and I can understand why you'd feel uncomfortable bringing it up to me, but I hope you realize that I will always listen to you whether I agree with you or not. And Pony – just because I work for the school doesn't mean I have to agree with everything they do. And after reading your theme, their actions are hard for even me to understand."
I looked at him carefully, and he nodded quickly, looking relieved but still very upset.
"Thanks, Mrs. Nelson. I – I guess I knew you'd feel that way. I was just so afraid that you didn't, and then I didn't know what I'd do. I mean it's bad enough that the whole school is against Johnny…" and here he trailed off again. I knew that his battle against tears this time would be even harder, and I didn't know how to help him. Luckily, I didn't have to. Darry had been watching Pony too, and as I watched the Curtis brothers, Darry pulled his seat closer to Pony and put his arm around him. Pony dropped his head, but I could see his shoulder's shaking under Darry's arm, and when Darry finally looked at me, I could see that this was taking its toll on him as well. I couldn't forget that he'd loved Johnny too.
I waited a moment and then an idea struck me. I said softly, "well, I know the school made its own promises, but maybe there's something you can do."
Darry and Pony both looked at me curiously, and I took a deep breath and continued.
"Even if you can't hold it on school grounds, you could have your own memorial service for Johnny. You could even have it in the park or something. You won't be able to put up posters about it, but word of mouth travels fast too."
They looked at me and then turned to look at each other. They were both starting to smile, and I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. Maybe this was the kind of closure they all needed.
