Pan

DISCALIMER: I am not J.M.Barrie, I am not the guy who wrote the movie, and guess what – I'm not Peter Pan either!

SUMMARY: After she left Pan hated Wendy Darling most of all. The girl who had enchanted him, who had insulted him, the girl who had killed him. (Metaphorically of course!)

Chapter 2


"Sob, heavy world sob as you spin / mantled in mist, remote from the happy." - W.H. Auden


In that moment Pan became Captain, there on the beach, still a confused boy at heart but with the looks and soul of a vindictive twisted man, a man who was dead. Again Peter was Lord of all; it was just a different type of leadership. The tendrils of Hook clung to the pirates, cruel and deep. The group of men could not forget Hook just as Pan couldn't, his soul dug deep, contorting, twisting, damaging the souls and bodies of many men and one lost boy.

If Pan raised his voice the pirates would flinch back. If he ordered something they would not smile as they did it, they would do it with fear and do it well. Pan did not consider the strange twist of fate that had led him to be in the place of his enemy, it was enough that it had happened.

Pan's soul began to turn blacker.

Pan did not let himself compare the pirates' unquestioning fear to the Lost Boys unwavering devotion. He considered the pirates quickness to do his bidding, their unquestioning attitude, their dependence on him. He forgot the fun he had had with the Lost Boys, he forgot their adoration, forgot their friendship. He tried to ignore the looks of fear when one of his orders was disobeyed; he attempted to disregard the inexplicable scars on some of the pirates' backs, he chose to forget that he was increasingly lonely; filling the boots of someone he had killed.

Hadn't he?

Sometimes Pan couldn't tell where Hook ended and he began. He avoided mirrors, shunned clean glass, even evading still water. He tried to divine a line, a place where he was solely Peter, but that place was the past – and the past was twisted beyond all recognition by Wendy's betrayal. So Pan tried to distinguish between himself and a dead man, finding no difference but trying anyway, still clinging to age old ideals, "I am not Hook!" he yelled at Smee, the little man took it in his stride, his eyes flashing in shock and fear.

"Y…y…es, Captain H-." Peter smiled, a slow sickening smile that made the hair on the back of Smee's neck stand on end,

"Only call me Captain." The smile stayed, Pan had separated the ghost from himself. At least he told himself so. A small voice hissed in his ear, a remnant of youthful days, "Hook is only called Hook because you cut off his hand." Peter shook his heard, his matted hair swinging around his shoulders.

"I'll tell the others Captain." Peter ignored him, he toyed with a small wooden model of a crocodile. Briefly remembering one of the last days, the last day before he was left alone

"Old, ugly, alone! Say it Hook – you're old, ugly and alone!"

Peter felt old, no longer a boy, he had not really noticed the changes between manhood and childhood until now, "Wendy was wrong, there is not so much more." Peter scowled, immediately wiping all thoughts of Wendy Darling from his mind. How he hated her, she had made him like Hook, old, ugly and alone. Suddenly Hook seemed closer than ever. His presence settled around Pan, comforting and welcoming. Peter strode out of the cabin onto the deck, smiling at the sharp sea breeze, the cold frosty air.

"Captain H-." A passing pirate said, Smee had obviously spread the word. Pan considered leaving it, but the presence demanded vengeance, demanded punishment,

"It is Captain James Hook, dog." He drew his sword, swinging it through the air; it struck the shocked sailor across his chest. The boy, for he was a boy, possibly younger than Peter himself, looked down in shock as the blood spread like an ink blot across his grubby shirt.

Peter watched in pleasant fascination as the blood dripped

He sneered, the face fitting him perfectly, soothed by the spilt blood he walked on, calling for Smee, "Get ready!" he yelled to the crew with obvious pleasure "For a flogging!"


A/N: Well, the reviewees have spoken and I have deigned to continue. Next chapter: will Peter return?

Please R&R

Tweeny-weeny