Well, here I go again. I just watched Napoleon Dynamite and I felt this strange urge to update. That movie is awesome. It has absolutely no point, but it makes me feel like less of a loser. Enjoy the chapter.
Oh, and since I haven't disclaimed in a while here's the disclaimer: I OWN IT ALL! Ha ha, just kidding! Yeah, I own nothing.
Chapter Nine
Harry woke up the next morning feeling oddly well rested. He lay in bed trying to figure out why he didn't feel as depressed as usual. He remembered the horrible nightmare he had. And how Kat had comforted him. That was it. Kat was the reason he felt better. Harry smiled to himself. He had a new friend.
Harry went downstairs at 10:30 to the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen. Uncle Vernon had already gone to work. Dudley, Aunt Petunia, and Kat were in the kitchen. Kat was frying the bacon. "Good morning," she said, handing Harry a plate with three strips.
"Oh, thank you. Uh, good morning." Harry replied. He sat down across from Dudley, who was stuffing himself with toast and staring at the television.
Kat sat down with a glass of milk and a piece of toast. "Aren't you hungry?" Harry asked.
"Not really," Kat said, shrugging.
"You look tired," Harry observed.
"Yeah, just a little bit." On seeing Harry's guilty face Kat quickly said, "Oh, it's not because of you. I'm tired no matter how much sleep I get. If I hadn't stayed up with you, I would have stayed up with my laptop."
Harry nodded, and looked across the table at Dudley, who had stopped looking at the TV and was now gaping stupidly at the two of them.
"How's that bacon, Dudders?" Kat asked, nodding towards Dudley's half-eaten breakfast. "Is it crispy enough? I'm still learning."
Dudley blinked, then mumbled, "It's good."
"Awesome," Kat replied, starting on her own "breakfast," which took her about thirty seconds to consume. Harry stared at her. "Is that all you ever eat for breakfast?" he asked.
"Pretty much. Why?"
"Well, it's just, my friends would never let me get away with eating that little," Harry told her, which was true. One piece of toast and a glass of milk would earn him a batch of badgering from Hermione.
"Then you have very good friends, who don't want you to be malnourished," Kat said as she headed toward the sink and rinsed out her glass. "My friends don't care. They think I'm fat and that I should kill myself."
Kat turned around to see Petunia staring at her, horrified. "Ha ha, just kidding," Kat said lamely. "Um, what are we doing today?"
"Well," Petunia said, slowly, turning back to the dishes, "Nothing really, because tomorrow we're going into town to do some shopping."
"Ooh! Shopping!" Kat exclaimed.
"Yes, dear, I knew you'd enjoy that," Petunia said, beaming. "And you can see a little more about our culture and the like for your report."
"Oh yeah, that's good. I almost forgot about that." Kat turned to Harry. "I'm supposed to write a report on my stay, like the culture, food, transportation, and stuff. That's the 'educational' part. I guess they didn't realize that it would take about five minutes and the rest of the summer has nothing to do with education. That's how ghetto my school is. They shouldn't even call this an exchange program. It's not even during the school year. But I'm not complaining." Kat paused and looked out the window. It was a pleasant day. This summer wasn't as muggy as the last one. "So do you wanna hang out?" Kat asked.
"Um, sure," Harry replied, as he walked to the sink. Aunt Petunia practically ripped the plate out of his hand and gave him a look that clearly said, "no funny business."
Harry and Kat went out and sat on the garden wall. "So, what do you want to do?" Kat asked, offering Harry a piece of gum.
"I don't know, what do people in America do when they hang out?" Harry asked as he popped the yellow gum in his mouth. At once a strange sensation erupted between his jaws. "Whoa, this gum is cold!"
The outlandish American threw back her head and laughed. "It's Lemonade Koolerz. It's supposed to be like you're chewing lemonade or something. Isn't it awesome?"
"Awesome." Harry didn't use that word very often, and it sounded strange coming from him. Kat proceeded to answer his previous question. "Well, Americans hanging out…we pretty much sit around and talk about people."
Harry snorted. "That sounds like fun."
"Oh it is," Kat said sarcastically. She then hopped off of the garden wall and pulled Harry off. "Let's walk." They headed aimlessly down the street. They walked in silence for a few minutes before Kat sighed. "I love it here," she said dreamily.
"Is it really that different from America? Our culture that is?"
"Not really. I mean, you do some things differently. It just seems like you're so different because you're so much cooler than we are."
Harry chuckled. "Oh yeah," he muttered, kicking at a loose pebble.
"I don't know, I've always been obsessed with everything England. I used to want to marry my youth pastor and start a buck church here. After we established a pineapple farm in Australia of course." Kat frowned. "Man, I used to be a big loser. A pineapple farm?"
Harry was busy wondering about something else. "What's a buck church?" he asked.
Kat's eyes took on that creepy gleam they had when she talked about movies. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was totally speaking Christianese. Buck means, like, to get hype. Hyper. Excited. 'We get so crunk we get so buck we are tha, tha holy south!'" Harry stepped back and stared at Kat wide eyed as she had this little outburst. Kat stopped shaking her shoulders and looked at Harry with horror. "I am so sorry. Sometimes I just…get weird like that, and I'll try really hard to never do that again." There was a pause. Harry burst out laughing.
"What was that?" he asked, overcome with laughter.
"Yeah, that's the reaction I usually get," Kat said. "Okay, well, you get the picture. Most churches are boring, mine isn't because we're happy and excited to be there, in other words, it's buck. The point is, I've always wanted to live in England."
"Well, I'm sorry to say we don't get very buck here," Harry chuckled. Kat laughed with him. "Maybe that isn't such a bad thing," she replied. "I think another reason I like it here so much is because there isn't so much ghettoness."
"Yeah, you've mentioned ghetto before. What exactly does that mean?"
"Well, sometimes it's a good thing, and some people who act ghetto are cute and all, but for the most part, they are a bunch of low life punks with bad attitudes who are always starting fights and think that the world owes them something because they wear Fubu and can't keeptheir pants up properly. It's very sad. It's an epidemic at my school."
"I know what you mean," Harry said, thinking of low life punks that he knew. Like Malfoy. Of course, Malfoy probably didn't wear Fubu. And with school robes it was hard to tell whether or not he sagged, and Harry hadn't ever really attempted to find out.
They had reached the park by now and sat down on the swings. "Do you miss your home any, though?" Harry asked.
Kat shrugged. "I miss my dad, and my youth group. And my brother, Jared. But that's about it."
"I didn't know you had a brother."
"Well, he's my stepbrother and he doesn't live with me. But we're pretty close. His dad and my mom live in Tennessee. His dad's a big shot guitarist in the country music world." Kat rolled her eyes. "We only see them like, twice a year. Not that I ever saw my mom even when she lived in Indiana. She has a bad habit of putting men before her children. And Jared's mom is the epitome of evil…"
Bet I can think of someone worse, Harry thought. "I'm sorry."
"No, this is old news, I'm not traumatized or anything. But it is nice, being here in a nice house and seeing a normal traditional family. I get really jealous when I'm at my friend's house because her parents are married, and she has all these siblings. And I'm basically an only child who lives in an apartment alone with my dad." Kat sighed. "I wish we could at least have a normal house."
Harry stared at the ground and said quietly, "The house can be perfect but it's not worth anything if the family inside it's horrible."
Kat looked at him with concern. "You guys really don't get along, do you?"
Harry glance up at her. "You noticed?"
"It's pretty obvious. How long have you been living with them?"
Harry sighed. "For as long as I can remember." He paused, not knowing what to say next. He was in dangerous territory. Not only could he not reveal his identity as a wizard, but also he didn't want to reveal just how deep the dislike between himself and the Dursleys went. He finally spoke, choosing his words carefully. "My aunt and uncle weren't very…friendly with my parents. In fact, they hated them. So, when they died, the Dursleys weren't too happy with taking me in. I'm pretty sure that's where it stems from."
Kat looked at him in confusion. "Well, if that was so long ago, you'd think they would have gotten over it by now."
"Yeah, well, I guess I remind them too much of my parents." Harry couldn't go any further without lying.
"Do you mind my asking how they died?"
Oh crap.
"Um, car accident." Harry felt bad about lying. Kat was so sincere, so willing to listen to him; he wanted to jump up and tell her everything. But it would be weird, even to this fanatical girl with the strange vocabulary.
A chorus of shouts and laughter broke the silence. Kat and Harry both looked up to see a group of large teenage boys entering the park. "Great," Harry muttered. Kat stood up to get a better look. "There's Dudley," she observed. "Yep," Harry sighed. Kat gave him a sympathetic smile. "Do you wanna go?" she asked. "Yes," Harry said immediately. They headed toward the street, in the direction the gang was coming from. A couple of Dudley's friends hadn't noticed Harry was there. All they saw was a hot brunette striding confidently their way.
"Hey baby, what's up?" one of them called. Harry suddenly felt very protective. Kat must have sensed it, because she leaned over and whispered, "Watch this." Kat hunched her shoulders, spread her feet abnormally apart from each other, and resumed her striding with an extremely unattractive look on her face. It was the funniest thing Harry had ever seen.
"What's up?" Kat bellowed at them in that low "man voice" she had used the night before. Dudley's gang stared at her. Dudley only then realized that the girl was Kat. "Guys, that's the girl that's staying with us!"
"Oh, hi Dudley!" Kat immediately went back to normal. "I'm Kat. Nice to meet you all."
They all agreed that it was very nice. "Dang Dudley, how lucky are you to have this staying in your house," Piers exclaimed. Kat still had her smile though Harry could see in her eyes that she did not like Piers.
"Shut up, you idiot!" Dudley whispered loudly. "I was just trying to give her a complement!" Piers shouted. Kat was very amused by the scene, until one of the guys noticed Harry. "Hey, Dudley, isn't that you're freak cousin?" Kat's grin quickly faded. Piers, still stupidly trying to impress, said, "Yeah, freak, where have you been?" Gordan piped up, "Didn't you say he went to St. Brutus' Dudley?"
Kat watched Harry. He didn't show any emotion. Apparently he was used to this. He just sighed like he was bored. Kat however, wasn't used to this, and she didn't like it. Meanwhile, Piers continued to show off his stupidity and meanness. "Yeah, that's an all boys school. I bet you like that, don't you, you fing faggot."
"Hey!" Kat snapped. "You watch your mouth." Everything went still. They were all staring at her intimidated. Harry looked at her in surprise. This wasn't the happy-go-lucky person he had spent the morning with. This person was angry. Angry and powerful. Her jaw was firmly set, and her eyes were boring into Piers. Right then Harry was lucky he wasn't on the receiving end of that glare. It put Snape's to shame.
Piers seemed to be having trouble speaking. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't think…"
"No you didn't think. Didn't your mother ever teach you not to cuss in front of a lady? Or at all?"
"I'm really sorry," Piers stammered.
Kat's face softened. "It's cool. I just, don't like cussing. It's this weird thing I do where I'm a Christian and I don't cuss so, try not to do it in front of me okay? It makes me queasy."
Piers nodded intently. Kat smiled. "Okay. Sorry I freaked out like that."
"Oh that's okay. I needed to be taught a lesson."
Kat blinked. "Um, okay. Well Harry, we'd better get going. Nice meeting you guys." Harry came out of his stupor and numbly followed Kat out of the park. Kat turned to him with uneasiness etched on her face. "I really freaked out back there. I didn't mean to. Do you think they hate me now?"
Harry gave her a reassuring smile. "If anything, they respect you even more. That was cool." Kat just rolled her eyes and sighed. "Does cussing really make you queasy?" he asked.
"Yes," Kat said, exasperated, "And I don't know why! It's so weird, but I can't help it. And he insulted you and that really made me mad."
"Well, don't worry, I'm used to it," Harry told her. She just shook her head sadly.
Dudley's gang watched the two head towards Privet Drive. They were still dumbstruck by what had just taken place. "Man, that was crazy," Piers said. "But she's really hot, so it's okay."
"You're retarded Piers," Gordan said. "She said she's a Christian; she wouldn't go for you."
"Then what was she doing hanging around Potter?" Piers demanded. Dudley turned to him. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, didn't you say that Potter was like, into the occult and on crackor something?" Piers said. "And Christians hate that stuff! So why is she hanging out with him?"
"She probably doesn't know," Gordan said. "Right Big D?"
Dudley grinned, as realization hit him. "Right. She doesn't know." He laughed to himself an evil plan taking shape in his tiny brain.
Whew! That's a long one! Hope it was good. And now it's for real not a self-insert! "A hot brunette striding confidently towards them"? How about no. That's not me. But I do get queasy when people cuss. It's perfectly normal…so I'm told. Until next time!
