Pan

DISCALIMER: I am not J.M.Barrie, I am not the guy who wrote the movie, and guess what – I'm not Peter Pan either! I would also like to say that I am sorry if I offend any Micronesian people by spelling Wendy with only one 'd' I have been informed that this can be taken as an offensive word.

SUMMARY: After she left, Pan hated Wendy Darling most of all. The girl who had enchanted him, who had insulted him: the girl who had killed him. (Metaphorically of course!)

Chapter 9.

"Passion"


What does Wendy Darling feel when she sees a shadow at her window once more? Does she despair that it is another dream, one of those awful heart-breaking dreams which fill you with hope to be crushed by reality?

Does Wendy Darling fear that she is perverse to cling to the memory of a boy; a child; a love but not a lover who has probably forgotten, a boy who is likely to be vastly younger than her, who gave up something he wouldn't, couldn't, recognise for his irresponsible youth?

Yet Wendy opens the window, "Peter…" And this time he answers.

"Am I awake?" She wonders.

Pan is not what he was, is not just Peter. She sees this as he steps into her room, the nursery for adults who don't want to grow up. The light shines and his darker hair is curly and messy, a top hat jauntily set on his head. In his eyes Wendy sees horrors seen and committed under another's name; but does that make them any less his own crimes? The blood of others, Wendy refrains from calling them innocents, lies heavily on him.

A blood-debt to their love.

Wendy does not doubt that he has suffered, that he understands now what he once refused. Peter Pan is not the self proclaimed perfect, wonderful boy of her youth. He is altogether darker, his soul cries for help and redemption, finally a creature of passion.

How can Wendy, with her taste for the fantastical, a steady aversion to reality and its commonplace occurrences, resist such a contradictory repentant sinner, man child, uneducated genius?

"Peter," she whispers, "I should like to give you my kiss." And it was hers to give, officially imparted to the one who had stolen it years ago. She brushes her pale lips across his darker, more vibrant ones and feels a sense of rightness.

Is Mrs. Darling shocked when she is greeted by the sight of her daughter on the floor with a young man? Is she surprised that Wendy is apparently sewing the man's shadow to his feet and laughs when a tatty top hat falls off his head of curls?

But Wendy was always a girl, a woman, of passion.

Does Mrs. Darling see her baby leaving her? Does she see the kiss, so inconspicuous in the corner of Wendy's mouth, has been given, freely, adoringly, selfishly?

What does she feel when she objects, opens her mouth and speaks out, when Peter rages and Wendy cries?

Pan has to fight for his Wendy, she is his and he will not let go, not for all the Fathers and Mothers in the world.

Love is selfish.

What can Pan give her, he gives her his heart. A bag of pirate gold and all the passion he has.

Unconventional.

Mr and Mrs James.

The name shocks Wendy yet he is adamant. He refuses to forget the power of love. The lengths it took him to before he even knew of its existence. Wendy differs to his choice – James Hook is an important part of her too.

Peter and Wendy James.

She is a writer of great repute, a teller of faerie tales, mystical adventures and the lives of the Lost Boys and Peter.

He is an illustrator, an actor, a public speaker of great repute.

Political radicals.

Socialists.

Liberals.

The girl and boy who grew up into something so much more than they dreamed possible.

What of the Indians, the Pirates and the Lost Boys in Neverland?

They live out their scripts, blissfully unaware that they are puppets so often used they no longer need a puppeteer to move their strings. Their story is different to this, equally as tragic, equally as passionate, for what is life but a spiral of fate and the pull of heartstrings?

Happy endings…

It appears so, yet the neighbours mutter that such hotness must cool, that such radicalism must implode, most agree that the Pans are a walking time bomb.

Wendy falls pregnant.

The baby is the child of the forever young, born so old already in its wrinkled skin that it enchants with mesmerising eyes; a new Peter Pan in Neverland before the 'fall.' Precariously walking the balance between precociousness, intelligence, playfulness.

Pan sees himself in the boy, and yet he has the nose and mouth of his mother.

They name him Pan, and this Peter does not mind being replaced.


A/N: Well, this is almost assuredly (I don't like to make finite promises for this kind of thing – they almost always come back to haunt me!) the final chapter of Pan.

Pan didn't fulfil any of the expectations I had of it when it started out as a sketchy idea in my head while watching (strangely enough) Starsky & Hutch. I was told by "Jay FicLover" that the basic idea of my plot echoes that of the official sequel due out in 2006. I had no idea that this was the case and am thrilled that a similar theme will be explored opening up new trains of thought and possibilities.

Ironically the whole way through I planned on changing the title and it is only now that I can actually think of one that fits. So I could change the title but now there's really no point, let's just say this is unofficially called Passion.

So anyway enough of this, there won't be a sequel as the fluff of happy ever after appeals to me as a writer as much as diving into shark infested waters appeals to me as a swimmer.

Please Review though (if only to thank me for finally finishing this A/N) I hope to make 60 reviews. I know reviewers as great as you guys won't let me down !

Thanks

Katie