Okay. Remember when I swore the next update would come sooner than three months? Yeah, I was definitely wrong. I'm sorry, I've had major writer's block and I was discouraged because I was getting like no reviews and nobody cared. And then HBP came out and I totally felt that my story sucked and I was just gonna scrap it. But then I got a couple of reviews over the summer that really encouraged me, so I decided to crack down and get back to business. So, after a long hiatus, here's chapter eleven.
This chapter is dedicated to Siriusfanatic and RiverSong DreamShadow, for encouraging me and reminding me to get back to work. I really appreciated your reviews. Thanks a bunch guys!
Chapter Eleven
You've got this dirty little secret, you're trying hard to keep it
Out of sight, out of mind, but you can't hide
This dirty little secret, you're trying hard to keep it
Out of sight, out of mind, but you can't hide
Over the next couple of weeks, Kat and Harry became very close. They spent a lot of time sightseeing, going to museums and landmarks and so forth. It was as interesting for Harry as it was for Kat, as Harry had never actually gotten to go to any of these places. Being around Kat really made Harry appreciate his English heritage for the first time. He was proud to be a Brit.
And he was proud to be friends with Kat Bailey. It amused Harry to no end to see her decked out in souvenirs, reading little fact books like the tourist she was, and going off on spiels about how America made a "ginormous" mistake when they broke away from England and how they should "go crawling back and start begging for forgiveness right now." Kat, in turn, was amused by Harry's awkwardness, and his continuing efforts to step out of his little protective bubble. She could tell he hadn't really started to open up, but sensed that he was close to breaking.
The Dursleys were not amused by Kat and Harry's relationship at all. Harry vehemently swore that Kat was not even close to finding out his secret, but they were suspicious all the same. Kat and Harry mostly went on sightseeing excursions alone, but only after Harry got an earful of threats as to what would happen if he displayed his "abnormalities." When the Dursleys did go on a weekend excursion, they were forced to bring Harry so as not to rouse Kat's suspicion. The entire time they tried to keep Kat away from Harry, but it didn't work. Kat saw right through it, and seemed determined to be around the boy as much as possible. Petunia didn't blame Kat. She knew Kat was a sweet, kind girl who was probably giving the boy so much attention because she felt sorry for him. But it still made her shudder in disgust and wonder why such a good girl like Kat would stand to be close to a freak like her nephew. There was nothing she could do about it though, so Petunia just pursed her lips and settled for giving Harry warning glares whenever the two teenagers left the house.
When Harry and Kat weren't sightseeing, they mostly hung out around the house together, going on walks, watching movies, and listening to Kat's interesting selection of music. She listened to practically everything, but her specialty was "hard core rock," which Harry felt was very helpful in letting his anger and frustration out. Some of the bands were so intense; it was hard to believe this music was Christian.
"That's what makes it so fun!" Kat had said when Harry voiced his opinion. "It sounds like devil music, but it isn't!" Then Kat would proceed to play air guitar and air drums at the same time, singing to the music as much as to the words, her head and shoulders moving aggressively, almost angrily, back and forth to the beat. She didn't turn it up too loud when Aunt Petunia was home. Aunt Petunia didn't care for the noise. Dudley, on the other hand, could be seen mouthing the lyrics to "Wake" by East West.
Other than his aunt and uncle's annoying stares and glowers in his direction, the one thorn in Harry's side was Dudley. Ever since that day in London, he had been making snide comments whenever his brain would allow, which, surprisingly, was a lot. It was subtle enough that Kat didn't catch it, but Harry did, and he wasn't quite sure what Dudley was playing at, but he knew he didn't like it. He quickly found out though, when he confronted his cousin after he made a comment about the Wicked Witch of the West. Making sure Kat was out of earshot, Harry hissed, "What do you think you're doing? Don't you realize how pissed your parents will be if Kat finds out? She'll associate you with 'my kind' or whatever rubbish you people think up."
Dudley just smirked. "Potter, don't you get it? She'd sympathize with us." At Harry's confused glare, the rotund boy continued. "Kat's a Christian, Potter. Christians hate magic. If she found out about you being a freak, she would hate you, and feel sorry for us because we have to live with a Satanist. Why else do you think I'm doing this? It's way too much fun to watch you panic."
With that, Dudley waddled out of the kitchen, leaving Harry to his fears.
That had been a couple of days after London. About a week and a half later, everything seemed to be going normally. Kat was her usual bubbly self; Harry followed her like an adoring puppy. Despite his fears that Kat would find out, he spent as much time with her as possible. It was strange to admit, but he knew he was developing feelings for the awkward girl with the unique, sometimes cynical sense of humor. He wrote to his friends about her. Ron wanted to know if she was hot, so Harry sent a picture of the two outside of the Tower of London (Kat's favorite place so far; the girl could be so bizarre at times). Ron replied, saying that he definitely approved, and so did the twins. Hermione was delighted, saying that it was about time that Harry have some happiness during the summer holidays. However, being perceptive as only Hermione could be, she let Harry know that he needed to tell Kat about his "alternate life" before he had any conversations on how he felt. Harry stared at Hermione's letter for an hour before replying, telling his friend that he would ponder it for a few days.
He didn't get that far. That evening everyone congregated in the living room. Uncle Vernon read the paper, Aunt Petunia knit, Dudley watched T.V. (big surprise), and Kat sat in front of the fire, working on a devotional. Harry, who was by now comfortable enough with the situation that he didn't care about being around the Dursleys, sat next to Kat, working on a letter to Remus. Kat never pried into his business, so he didn't worry about the content of the letter. All she did was ask, "Who are you writing to?"
"My uh...Uncle Remus," Harry replied.
Kat snorted. "Wait, are you serious?" she asked.
"Uh, yeah," Harry said, confused.
"Sorry." Kat returned to her devotional. Then she laughed again. "Yes, Uncle Remus, I know the fish are huge!" she muttered. Harry slowly looked up from his letter and raised an eyebrow, something he often did around Kat.
"Oh, was that out loud?" Kat smiled innocently and pulled her hair behind her ear. Harry noticed her eyes really came out in the firelight. What? Where did that come from?
"—Big Daddy? No?" Kat was saying. "Never mind."
"Oh. Sorry." Harry felt his face turning red. "I kind of spaced out."
Kat just smiled and returned to her work. Harry tore his eyes away and glanced at Aunt Petunia, who had been watching the exchange with a mixture of confusion and disgust. She turned back to her knitting, her face screwed up in distaste. Harry sighed and continued his letter.
Dear Remus,
How are you? Everything's pretty good here. Really, I'm having a good time. I mean, the Dursleys are still as unpleasant as ever, but they're not as bad when Kat's around. Kat is the girl who is staying with them over the summer. She's really nice. She's very...interesting. And she doesn't push me to talk about things. Of course, she doesn't have to, since I've already told her more than I probably should. She doesn't know about my being a wizard, but she does know about Sirius. And her being here has helped a lot. I know you guys are there for me, but I think it's good to have someone to talk to who is objective, you know what I mean? Anyways, it's real nice to have someone to talk to around here. She keeps me from going crazy.
So, how are things with the Order? I know, you probably can't say much. I just want to make sure everyone's okay. That you're ok—
"—witchcraft?"
"What?" Harry looked up in alarm. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were glaring daggers at him. Dudley was smirking. Kat just looked confused. "I'm sorry, Dudley, what was that?"
"Oh, I was just wanting to know where in the Bible it says witchcraft is evil."
Harry's throat constricted. It was hard to breathe. He looked desperately at Kat, who was staring at Dudley. "Um...okay," she said. She started flipping through her Bible. Harry looked down at it as if it were his executioner.
"Okay, um, well, Deuteronomy 18:10-11," Kat read, "Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire—
Whew. That doesn't apply to me.
"—who practices divination or sorcery—
Shoot.
"—engages in witchcraft, or casts spells..."
Oh no.
"—anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord..." Kat flipped to the back of Harry's damnation. "Also, for those that prefer the New Testament, there's Galatians 6: 20."
There's more? Harry looked over her shoulder. There it was, in bold, black print. "The acts of sinful nature are obvious...witchcraft..." Harry felt like he was going to be sick.
"So I guess it's pretty clear then?" Dudley asked Kat. Kat nodded. "Yeah, He makes it pretty clear." Dudley's malicious grin widened. "So," he asked, "do you think it's a sin?"
Kat blinked. "Witchcraft?" Dudley nodded. "Well," Kat seemed to be choosing her words carefully. "I believe what the Bible says, so...yeah."
Harry definitely felt sick.
"So do you think that people who practice witchcraft will burn in hell?"
"I'm gonna be sick." Harry shot up. Kat grabbed his hand. "Whoa, are you okay?"
"Yeah," Harry said distractedly. "I...ate...shouldn't have eaten all that cubed cheese... excuse me..." He wrenched his hand away and bolted upstairs, leaving a once-again confused Kat, a triumphant Dudley, and an extremely perturbed aunt and uncle in the living room.
Harry ran into his room, breathing as if he'd run from Hogwarts as opposed to the living room. Once he'd calmed a bit, he heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall. His uncle didn't bother to knock, but barged in, closed the door behind him, and stared furiously at Harry. "What the devil was that all about!" he hissed, his face purpling.
"I don't know," Harry retorted. "Why don't you ask Dudley?"
"Boy, I'm warning you, if she finds out about your...abnormality—
"Well, maybe if you'd tell your son to stop pissing me off-
"Don't you take that tone with me!"
"Don't sit here and yell at me for something that isn't my fault!"
They glared at each other, Harry's temper rising along with Vernon's blood pressure. Vernon spoke again first. "You'd better not have any...accidents like you have had before with Marge, and Dudley at the zoo..."
"I won't," Harry cut him off. "I don't want her to find out anymore than you do."
Uncle Vernon smirked. "Oh that's right," he said, "if she finds out what you are, she'll despise you. She'll wish you would burn in hell like the sinful little freak that you are."
Harry stared at him. "Are you done?"
Uncle Vernon opened his mouth as if to say something, decided against it, turned, and left the room, slamming the door.
Harry let out a shuddering breath and dropped onto his bed. He couldn't stand the thought that Kat might hate him. He thought of her laughing eyes, and the look of concern she always gave him, and he didn't think it was possible for Kat to hate him. He didn't think it was possible for Kat to hate anyone. But deep down there was a nagging feeling telling him that maybe his relatives were right, that if she found out, she would think he was a Satanic sinner.
But I'm not, Harry thought to himself. Am I? Doubt started to grip at his insides. Sure, he had never actually worshipped Satan or slaughtered a goat or anything like that, but he did practice divination, and he did cast spells. Am I a... sinner? Do I even believe in that? What he believed didn't matter, though. It was what Kat believed. And if she believed that he was evil, Harry didn't think he would be able to handle it.
Kat had been extremely worried when Harry had fled from the living room looking positively green. Vernon had gone up after him to see what was wrong, and came back down saying that Harry had just eaten something that hadn't agreed with him. Kat wasn't sure she believed that. Vernon had never really shown that he cared for Harry before, so why would he start now? And Dudley's little smirk was getting very annoying. She had no idea why he had asked her such a random question. He's probably trying to make fun of me. Like I'm not used to it. In all honesty, Kat was caught off guard about the witchcraft inquiry. She didn't really care that much about the issue. She knew a couple of people at her school were into Wicca, and they were relatively cool people. Personally she thought it was wrong, but if they wanted to mess with it then that was their business. She wasn't going to drown them in Holy water or anything.
So back to Harry. He had been acting weird the past week, especially around Dudley. Now that Kat thought about it, it was whenever Dudley said something about magic or witches or something. Oh God. Was Harry into Wicca? Was he into the Occult or something? Did he like to play Dungeons and Dragons and then take it a little too seriously? Kat rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. Now she couldn't concentrate. She sighed, got up, and said goodnight to the Dursleys.
"Good night. God bless," Dudley simpered.
"Mmm," Kat murmured. She rolled her eyes and headed up the stairs. When she got to Harry's room, she paused. His light was still on. She knocked softly on the door. When he didn't answer, she cautiously opened it.
Harry was asleep on top of his bed, still in his clothes, a look of pure misery on his face. Kat gazed at him sadly. A soft hoot caught her attention. "Hi baby," she said to the snowy white owl. Hedwig replied by nudging Kat's finger with her beak. Kat sighed again, turned off Harry's lamp, and closed the door softy behind her, a deep ache for the poor depressed boy building in her spirit.
The next morning, the crap really hit the fan. Harry came down the stairs feeling exhausted, like he hadn't slept at all. Kat was feeling equally run-down. They both slumped at the kitchen table. Kat glanced at him and said, "Life really sucks."
"Yes, yes it does." Harry laid his head on his arms. Kat rested her elbow on the table and leaned her head against her hand. "Didn't sleep well?"
"Not really," Harry replied.
"That cubed cheese give you a hard time?"
"Uh, yeah." Kat looked steadily at him, and Harry knew that Kat didn't believe that story. She didn't push though. "So, what are we doing today?" she asked. "Just chillin?"
"I guess." Harry didn't feel much like doing anything. He was content to just stare at his hands for the rest of the day. He finally looked up to see Kat was still looking at him. She smiled, but it was a sad smile. Harry returned it.
Dudley chose that moment to come in. He strutted into the kitchen, humming to himself. Kat raised her eyebrow. "I'm glad someone is having a good morning."
Dudley paused, seemingly trying to think of something to say. His brain clicked, and he replied, "Yes, well, I prayed last night, and today, I've been blessed with a good mood."
Kat blinked at him like he was the stupidest person she had ever met. "That's...fantastic," she muttered.
Dudley grinned. "What about you two? Why do you look so down? Especially you Harry. Didn't you pray last night?"
"Dudley, would you please just cut it out for just five minutes?" Harry's nerves were already frayed; he didn't think he could control himself.
"Why Harry? You should really learn to control that temper, by the way, you don't want to blow up. Or, you know, blow up anyone else."
Kat hadn't been paying attention to the conversation. She was busy staring at the salt shaker. She did, however, catch that last sentence. "Blow someone up? What?"
Harry looked like he was gonna be sick again. He stared at Dudley, then looked at Kat. "I can't take this," he said, and then he got up and ran out of the house.
"Harry!" Kat yelled after him. She would have gone after him, but she was still in her pajamas, and she didn't really have the energy. She looked hard at Dudley, who was on the verge of laughter. "You think you're real cute, don't you."
Dudley stilled. "What?" he asked, confused.
Kat sighed, irritated. "It's not necessary or attractive to give him a hard time like that. I don't know what's bothering him, and I don't know what's wrong with you, but I haven't seen him do anything to deserve this treatment from you, or your little friends for that matter, so why don't you just chill?"
Dudley looked dumbly at her, trying to process what she had just said. Kat rolled her eyes and ran upstairs to get dressed. She then headed out to find Harry, who was rapidly gaining her affection.
Harry had run to the park and was currently sitting on one of the more secluded picnic tables. He was close to tears. That spectacle was sure to have gotten Kat's attention, and he didn't know what he was going to do. He couldn't keep lying to her like this, but he was fairly certain he would die if she condemned him to hell.
He sat there for a good half hour before he heard footsteps approach. He didn't have to look up to know who it was.
"Harry?"
"Go away," he muttered.
Kat sat down next to him on the table. "Something has been bothering you a lot lately. I know you said you were used to Dudley's being an...well, being himself, but there's something else going on. What's up?"
Harry looked up at her, tears filling his eyes. "If I tell, you, you're gonna hate me."
Kat looked horrified. "Of course I'm not gonna hate you! It's not possible to hate you."
"Tell that to Dudley."
"Well, Dudley's stupid."
Harry snorted, then sighed deeply. "I want to tell you so bad."
"But you're afraid that if you tell me, I'll think you're some big sinner."
Harry looked at her in alarm. "How did you know?"
"Perception, remember? Besides, I'm smarter than Dudley. I get that his little comments were leading somewhere." They were silent for a moment, then Kat took Harry's hand. "Harry, I really care about you." Harry looked hopefully at her. "I could never hate you. You're too cute...I'll tell you what. You tell me what's been going on, because I know that you need to get it off your chest, and I promise I won't hate you."
"How can you promise?"
"I don't make promises lightly."
They gazed at each other for a moment, then Harry sighed, his mind made up. He had to tell her.
"This is gonna sound really weird."
OH MY GA! I finally did it. I'm so proud of myself. Now, it's late, and I have to work in the morning, so I hope someone reviews so my efforts weren't in vain. I can't promise that the next update will be soon, but I can promise that there will be an update, hopefully sooner rather than later. But that really all depends on the motivation. So please review. Until next time!
