He doesn't remember when he stopped caring, in fact maybe he never cared at all. At some point he realized the he was so broken that there was nothing left to break. And maybe, somehow, the world took pity on him, because lately his life, while gut wrenchingly awful at times, hasn't thrown any more curveballs at him. Of course maybe that's just in comparison to the way it was before, before he left, before he gave up everything.

His world now is much smaller. There are no longer any huge parties that he feels pressured into attending. There's no need for him to fake happiness anymore, he isn't happy, but there is no one to worry, no one to reassure with fake smiles. He was an accomplished liar, for the years after the incident, before he left, no one called him on it. No one noticed his phony laughter, no one saw through to his inner pain. Everyone truly believed that he'd gotten over it that quickly, they laughed off his coldheartedness. Didn't he love her? they'd say. Doesn't he care that his own father killed her?

Finally it got to be too much. His departure from Neptune was shocking at first. His absence was notable, as a child of such an influential family he'd been in the spotlight. Then through his teenage years more attention was brought on him. His father, her death, all the reasons that he finally left, things that had shoved him in the publics face.

After a while his dissaperance becomes old news. People start to talk like they always do. They act like they knew it was coming, like the could see through the walls that he'd so carefully erected. He knows no one could.

He lies to himself a lot. He does know someone who could see through all his bullshit. She left too.

It's a reacuring theme in his life. People he loves leaving him. It has happened to him far to many times to count. Really only three. But when you love as much as he does, and give your whole heart, you never get it back. He can't even remember a time before he'd been abandonded. His whole life has been filled with pain, and death. His mother couldn't handle the pain. Person he's loved and been left behind by number two.

He likes to think that he's stronger than his mother. That he won't succomb to weakness like she did. That he'll live a long life that doesn't include driving his car off a bridge. He may be strong enough not to do that, but most of his strength has left him too.

He doesn't have the control to move on into the future. But Logan doesn't like to think about the past. He's stuck somewhere in between, which for him is a cheap motel and lots of vodka. He doesn't like to think about the night that his father killed the girl he loved. He doesn't like to think about her screaming for help while his father tried to kill her because she found out his deepest secret.

His father is the cause of it all. But he doesn't hate him. Not really. He lacks the passion that hate would require. He feels nothing towards his father. The man who took all three of the people he loved most in this world. He killed the first one, drove the second one to suicide, then killed the third one for finding out about the murder of the first one. But he doesn't hate him.

He does think about it a lot though. Most of the time in the middle of the night, when nothing else is there to distract him. He wakes up screaming like the third one did, then realizes what he's screaming from was just a dream. That he's just lying in bed. Then the real reality kicks in, and he remembers that his life is much worse than any dream. That she's gone, and unlike him, she can never come back.

But he stopped caring a long time ago, or maybe he never cared at all. He lies to himself a lot.