Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, Klasky-Csupo owns the Rugrats and they should give the rights to me because K-C is doing a HUGE injustice to Chuckie right now (weird new SP's), but he's not the main focus here, so I'll quiet down now.
Cooking With Kimi
Kimi stood in her kitchen, wearing an apron, a chef's hat, and a weird, ticked-off look on her face. "Come ON, Phil. You've been watching TV for the past half-hour, now it's time to start our Home Economics project."
Phil slowly got up from the couch and shuffled into the kitchen. "Remind me again why we agreed to be partners."
"Because everyone else was already paired up and Lil couldn't stand to be on another project with you," Kimi said, handing him a bowl. "Hold that for a sec, I need to find the flour." She opened the cabinet and found what she was looking for. "OK, Phil, give me the bowl."
Phil did as he was told. "So what am I supposed to do here?"
"Just stay there until I need you to do something, OK?" said Kimi as she carefully measured flour and put it in the bowl. "And if you mess it up like you did on our last project together, I will NOT be held responsible for my actions."
Phil cringed, remembering the social studies project they were paired up for last week.
...Flashback...
An overly perky Kimi was working on her laptop while Phil sat on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Kimi turned around for a second and said, "Phil, can you staple this report to the poster?"
Phil got the stapler, attempted to do as he was told, and accidentally stapled the end of his finger instead. "OWWW!"
...End Flashback...
"Phil? Phil...?" Kimi waved her hand in front of his face.
"Huh?"
"I just asked you to hold this." She shoved a jug of water into his hands.
Phil waited patiently, not messing anything up, until something tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, accidentally dropping the jug he'd been holding. "Huh?" It was Lil, who'd also been at Kimi's house.
"Philip...you just dropped that jug. Anyways, I was just going to tell you that Mom called and she wants your butt home before noon." Lil waved to Kimi. "Hi Kimi!...please don't tell me that my idiot brother did anything drastically wrong yet."
Kimi turned around, surprisingly calm. "Nah, he's being pretty good, except for that I can't get him to pay any attention." She cracked an egg and dropped the insides into the blender. "So what's up with you?"
Lil replied, "Not much. I'm just off to see a movie."
From behind his sister, Phil added, "Yeah, she finally got the guts to ask Tommy out...and he didn't turn her down! I guess miracles do happen..."
Lil turned around and smacked her brother upside the head. "Shut up, Phil. 'Bye, guys!" She waved and walked out the door.
Kimi cracked a few more eggs, dropped them in the blender, and turned it on. A few seconds later, she turned it off, opened it, and set it on the table. "Whatever you do, Phil, DON'T touch this, OK?"
"Yes, master." Phil rolled his eyes and still waited patiently.
Chuckie, not hearing his sister's command, walked into the kitchen, sniffing. "Mmm...something smells good in here!" He spotted the blender, containing the eggs. "Ooh, what's this?" He tasted it. "Not bad, Kimi..."
Kimi turned around to see what Chuckie had done. "Aw, Chuckie...I meant to tell you...those are raw eggs."
Chuckie, hearing the phrase "raw eggs," immediately got a pained look on his face, found the nearest trash bin, and began to puke.
Kimi sighed, "Well, at least nothing else can go wrong..." At that precise moment, she heard an explosion behind her. Turning around, she looked extremely shocked, but then covered it up by saying calmly, "Uh, I guess we need a new microwave...heh heh..."
A few days later, Kimi showed up in Home Economics class without her project and without Phil. Miss O'Keats eyed Kimi sharply. "Miss Finster, where is your partner and your finished assignment?"
Kimi said nervously, "Uh, our project kinda...exploded. Phil's at the hospital, getting treatment for third-degree burns. Sorry, Miss O'Keats."
Just then, one of Chuckie's teachers knocked on the door, opened it, and said, "Miss O'Keats, Chuckie won't be in today. We just got a call that he's come down with salmonella poisoning."
Kimi put her head in both her hands. "Just when I thought that one day of my life could be normal..."
FIN
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