Illusions

Author: Jess

A/N: Thanks to all for reviewing and my wonderful betas Rouch, for all her help in making this coherent, and CSI4nsicAce, for all things grammatical.

Disclaimer: I checked my mailbox but still have not received any statement saying I own CSI. :(

Chapter Five

Sara Sidle was mad. Mad at the world. Mad at herself. And mad at Gil Grissom. She clutched the steering wheel and cursed as she glanced down. She was gripping the wheel so hard that her knuckles were white. Spotting a parking lot, she pulled off the road, parked, and turned off the ignition.

She wanted to scream, to shout, to hit something, anything that would help her release some of the frustration she was feeling. Instead, she released her grip on the wheel and closed her eyes. She had promised herself that she wouldn't allow herself to get this worked up about him anymore. That time in her life was over.

She was stronger than this. She had survived much worse than this heartache. This was nothing, and yet, at times it felt like everything. Sara took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She could feel the tension slowly begin to leave her shoulders as she opened her eyes.

The phone rang and Sara quickly checked the caller id. Brass. "Sidle," she answered.

"I'm going to the high school in an hour," Brass stated abruptly.

"I'll meet you there," Sara said.

"Are you sure I shouldn't clear this with your boss?" Brass asked.

She could hear the playful lilt to his voice, but couldn't contain her answer, "I could care less what his answer is."

There was a brief silence before Brass responded, "Sara…"

Sara closed her eyes and shook her head. "I'm fine."

She could almost hear Brass nodding his head. "Look, I'll meet you in an hour," Sara cut him off before he could respond. "I have to go."

She hung up the phone and looked at the keys in the ignition. The school wasn't that far away. She would be able to make it in ten minutes if traffic was good. Sara removed the keys, grabbed her purse, and left the vehicle. She quickly locked the car and made her way to the coffee shop across the street, while repeating 'I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.' Just maybe, if she said it enough, it would come true.


Jim Brass stood beside his police car and observed the cars pulling in and out of the parking lot. Years of being a police officer had taught him that observation was the key to learning almost anything about people. By simply watching someone, a door to a mountain of information could be unlocked. A young woman behind the wheel of an SUV was trying to apply make-up while driving. On the back window were smeared fingerprints. Most likely, she was a young mother.

Brass surveyed the school parking lot again and watched as Sara Sidle pulled in. She exited the car, her posture tight, and her expression guarded. He briefly wondered what his friend had said or done to put Sara in this mood.

He watched her briefly look around before spotting him. She quickly walked over to him and nodded in greeting. "The principal is expecting us," Brass said as the two made their way to the high school. "A Mrs. Marjorie Fales."

"What did you tell her?" Sara asked.

"I informed her of Kimberly Witt's death and told her we had a few questions we needed answered in person," Brass explained.

He and Sara entered the building and made their way to the front office. Three students sat in the front room in various stages of boredom. "May I help you?" the woman at the front desk asked.

Brass removed his badge from his inside coat pocket and saw that Sara had her identification on display on her belt. "Captain Jim Brass. This is Sara Sidle with the crime lab. We are here to see Marjorie Fales," he said.

The young woman looked dumbfounded for a moment before answering, "Let me inform her of your presence."

Brass nodded and looked towards the students. All three were sitting upright, striving to hear any information they could. No doubt news of the police presence in the school would circulate within an hour.

"Captain Brass."

He turned and saw a tall woman standing in the office doorway. She walked forward and shook his hand. "Marjorie Fales," she said and turned to Sara.

"Sara Sidle. Crime lab," Sara said and shook the woman's hand.

"This way please," Mrs. Fales said and motioned for the two to follow her.

Brass and Sara entered the office and sat in the two seats in front of the desk. The office was decorated with different awards and degrees that had been awarded to Mrs. Fales. Pictures of the woman with various Vegas 'celebrities' cluttered the woman's desk.

"Are you sure it was Kimberly's body that was found?" Mrs. Fales asked as she sat with a twinge of hope showing on her face.

Brass left that question to Sara. "Her fingerprints were a match," Sara stated.

"Such a pity," Mrs. Fales said. Her eyes roamed to the clock on her desk.

Brass waited for further elaboration but when none was given, he asked, "Do you know what Kimberly's travel plans were?"

"She took off this week to see her parents. Her mother has been sick the last couple of weeks, and Kimberly wanted to surprise her," Mrs. Fales said. "I don't believe they even knew she was coming."

"Do you have their phone number on file?" Brass asked. She nodded. "We'll need a copy."

"Kimberly was sharing an apartment with Tyler Cuneo," Sara said. "He is also a teacher at this school?"

Mrs. Fales nodded. "Yes, they were getting married in June," Mrs. Fales said. "Tyler has been away in San Francisco since Thursday. The tri-state tournament was taking place there this year. He is due back Wednesday night."

"We'll also need the phone number for where he is staying," Brass stated.

"Of course," Mrs. Fales said, checking the clock once again. "Is that all you needed?"

"I need a copy of the itinerary for Mr. Cuneo's basketball team, and when they get back I will need copies of all receipts," Brass said.

"Glinda can get you a copy of all that you need," Mrs. Fales said and stood up. "If that's all…"

"For now," Brass returned and stood.

Mrs. Fales nodded and showed the two to the door. "Interesting lady," Brass remarked as the door closed behind them.

Sara shrugged and walked to the secretary's desk. "Hi, I need a copy of Tyler Cuneo and Kimberly Witt's records, as well as a copy of the basketball team's itinerary," Sara said and quickly flashed her identification.

The woman nodded and quickly found the documents. Within five minutes, Brass and Sara were on their way out of the high school. "Well that was fun," Sara said. "I'll see you tonight."

"You're not going back into work?" Brass asked.

"I don't want to justify the overtime to Ecklie," Sara stated.

Something in her posture told him that that wasn't the reason. "Hey, Sara?" Brass called as she reached her car. She turned and looked at him. "Are you alright?"

"As good as can be expected," Sara said and flashed him a smile.

Brass watched her leave before getting into his own vehicle. At some point he was going to have to talk to her. He sighed and drove off.


Numb. Dumbfounded. Speechless. All were excellent words to describe how Gil Grissom felt at this moment. He unlocked the door to his townhouse and cringed at what lay before him. Nothing. His walls were covered with hanging butterflies to add a dab of color to his sterile environment, but there was no warmth, no life in this place. He placed his bags and paperwork on the table and massaged his temples. He could feel the workings of a headache beginning to form and hoped it wouldn't become a full-blown migraine.

Perhaps the word that would truly describe the way he felt was lost. He turned on the stereo and sank onto the compact couch as the first stanza of Carmen began to play. He closed his eyes and groaned. The headache was becoming a migraine.

Slowly he rose and retrieved a bottle of water and a pill from the refrigerator before sinking onto the couch again. He looked around his living area and felt the despair that he had been feeling since his encounter with Sara begin to increase. The event replayed itself over and over in his mind.

'I found a diversion. Turns out he didn't think I was worth the risk,' her words echoed over and over in his mind. Her facial expressions had spoken even more than her words. Her mouth had been twisted in anger, but her eyes had shown flashes of deep pain.

Worth the risk.Why had she used that particular phrase? It reminded him of another phrase, one he had said. But she couldn't possibly have been referring to that, could she? He pinched his nose. Only she was able to have this effect on him.

Sara Sidle, the ultimate enigma.

He turned his head and looked at the coffee table. Forensic journals and entomology journals were stacked on one side, and a ladybug figurine was positioned on the other. He looked around at the walls and the entertainment center. Insects, insects and more insects. No pictures, no drawings, no life.

He vaguely remembered Catherine's house and the multiple pictures and drawings by Lindsey that were displayed. Her house had a warmth, a sense of living, which his never had. 'It's like walking into the morgue,' Catherine had once told him. 'Everything is so pristine.'

He stood up and walked over to a butterfly display on the wall. At one time, he remembered thinking they were beautiful. At this moment in time, they reminded him of Debbie Marlin - and of Sara.

'This is my life,' Grissom thought as he traced the images of the Monarch butterfly in the glass. 'Captured beauty.' In one swift swoop, he flung the display to the floor. Shards of glass and colorful wings scattered across the floor at his feet.

Images of Sara rose to his mind. The carefree smile she had flashed at him when she arrived that first day in Vegas. Her intense curiosity during the seminar where they had met. The look she gave him when he had called her in on the Todd Branson case. Her expression when he had rejected her offer of dinner. Her reaction to his explanation to his recommendation of Nick for the promotion. The look of utter resignation when he picked her up from the DUI. The day she told him about her past. Her eyes filled with pain as she uttered the words 'Turns out he didn't think I was worth the risk'.

'Doctor Lurie killed Debbie. And slowly I'm killing Sara.' Grissom looked down at the broken wings. 'Something needs to change…'