"How's the head?" Sydney asked as the pair made their way down to the lounge for breakfast.

After some bitching, neither had had relented to sleeping on the floor. He complained of having fallen off the damn horse so therefore the bed should be his and she claimed that she got a crick in her side if she slept on the floor. If she had a crick, then she couldn't go running and then she would be a royal bitch for him.

So they devised a new plan. They called room service and ordered six extra pillows (which earned them a wink from the perverted bell boy) and piled those pillows in the center of the bed. It was awkward, stupid, and the best idea they had so far. Both woke up on their own side the bed, completely void of the other.

"Fine," Vaughn shrugged.

"Just fine?"

Rolling his eyes, he replied with his voice dripping of sarcasm, "It's all better now thanks to Sydney's special healing which included bitching at me and smacking me when I wouldn't give up the bathroom."

First of all, he deserved the bitching for trying to get himself killed on the psychotic horse and second of all, he took forty minutes in the bathroom. What kind of man does that? So when he'd finally come out, she rewarded him with a smack to the head and a door slam in his face.

"Do you see them?" He asked in a hushed voice.

She continued to survey the lounge before spotting their target. "Yeah, in the corner," She nodded towards Sark and Reed.

"There," He said gesturing as discreetly as possible towards an empty table near the other couple. "After you," He added snidely.

"Okay," She replied ignoring his tone and marching over to the table he indicated. Today, she was getting spa treatment (something she hadn't had in months) and she wasn't going to let him mess it up.

"You seem in a right jolly mood today," He commented after they'd ordered. She'd spent ten minutes glaring at her menu, intent on ignoring him.

"Shut up," She growled, fiddling with her fork boredly. Without her menu to distract herself with, she had nothing to do. Talking with him was out of the question.

"Wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?" He continued, obviously ignoring her growl.

Her grip on her fork increased but she determinedly refused to look at him. "You weren't there," She replied icily. "So it was very pleasant."

"I thought you said that if you slept on the bed, that you wouldn't be a royal bitch," He commented, her tone having little affect on him.

By then, her knuckles were turning white. "Maybe I'm a royal bitch because you won't shut the hell up."

As far as he could tell, no one was listening to their conversation. Which was merciful because they were definitely not sounding like newlyweds at the moment. "Can you just put aside your anger towards me that probably has a reason, I just don't care enough to find out what it is and help me spy on people?"

Well if that wasn't the strangest question she had ever heard… she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "We have to call Kendall."

"Subtle," He murmured, glancing over her head at the Sarks. "And what are we going to tell him? We haven't exactly done anything related to our mission yet."

She sighed. "Well, whose fault is that mister fall off a fricking horse?"

"So you're blaming it on me?"

"You said it, not me," She replied.

"We need to get closer to them," He stated, forcing himself to ignore her snide remarks. He was a grown man, he could do it. Somehow.

"Yes, I am aware of that," She answered in a clipped tone.

"Then why aren't we doing anything about it?"

"Because we have to be careful," She snapped. "Are you new at this or something?"

"Being married or nice to you?" He shot back.

Her eyes narrowed but she bypassed the commented nonetheless. "We have to do this gradually. We can't just go waltzing up to them and expect them to trust us immediately. I thought we settled this."

"No, you settled it," He countered. On the plane, she had refused to make any sort of plan with him and now it was coming to bite them in the asses. "We have to approach them."

"No we don't," She replied stubbornly.

"Kendall is going to ask what our plan is," He pointed out. "Are you going to be the one to tell him that we have none?"

"Can you just shut up for thirty seconds, pleasekthanks?" Sydney snapped, rubbing her forehead. Thanks to the bastard, she was getting a headache. And that made for cranky Sydney.

Of course, he didn't know she was getting a headache, so he didn't listen to her. "You're avoiding the issue," He told her. "I'm going to tell Kendall that you're slacking off on the mission."

"You do that," She sneered jumping to her feet suddenly. "I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?" He asked with a definite hate to his voice.

"Away from you," She replied grabbing her purse.

"What about breakfast?" He asked next, his tone different. People were starting to stare at them so he added, "darling" hastily.

Her gaze hardened at the pet name. "Screw breakfast," She replied. Apparently, she didn't notice that people were staring at them. "I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?" He asked nicely. He wasn't exactly sure where he had gone wrong and pissed her off so badly but he had and now he was reaping that reward. Why couldn't she just be agreeable?

"Positive," She growled.

"I'll see you at the spa then?"

She turned to leave without replying to that. Of course he would see her at the spa. She wasn't going to skip out on the mission just because he was being an insufferable bastard. She turned half way before changing her mind and turning back. He straightened, thinking she had caved for once, with a small smirk crossing his face.

"You have food on your shirt," She observed in a hard tone glancing down at his shirt and then back at his face before turning on her heel and storming out of the lounge.

So much for her caving.

"If you want my advice," a haughty British accented man's voice said quietly, "Just indulge her. It works for my Lauren."

Vaughn looked up and sure enough there was Julian Sark standing near his table. And Reed was right by his side. "Melissa's just in a bad mood," He replied with a forced smile. "She gets that way during her time of the month." So that story had just been made up but it did cover for a lot of Sydney's tantrums.

Lauren giggled and Sark sent her a reproving look. "You're newlyweds, right?" He asked. "The Adams, correct?"

Vaughn nodded. "Yes, we are." He kept his suspicion at Sark knowing that information hidden well.

"I'm sorry," Sark said and he looked it. "It has to be terrible to have a honeymoon with your wife on her period."

Vaughn was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "We have two weeks here, I think we'll get around to it eventually."

Sark laughed while Lauren giggled again. "Maybe we could have drinks sometime."

"I'm sure Melissa and I would love that," Vaughn replied. Well, this worked out easier than he'd thought. They had come to him.

"Excellent," Sark replied. "We'll call you sometime."

Vaughn nodded, not bothering to ask how they would call them. The hotel manager would tell the couple what room the Adams were in if they sucked up badly enough and then they could leave a message on the room's machine. "We'll be waiting."

Sark nodded and glanced at his watch. "Oh, I'm sorry but we have somewhere to be. Good day Mr. Adams."

"Good day," Vaughn replied waiting until they had disappeared from the lounge to let out the breath he had been holding. Wait until he told Sydney, she'd have a royal fit that he had beaten her at something.

Sydney paced around the lobby fuming for a solid twenty minutes. This was getting to be too much to deal with. Had this been any other time in her life, it might have been easier. But her personal life was stressful enough without Vaughn in it. First her boyfriend leaves her, Francie believes that she's jealous of her and Charlie, Will is just getting creepier by the second and her father and her haven't spoken in three going on four months now. And to top it all off, she had to spend two fricking weeks pretending to be married to the world's largest nincompoop.

See, if she had a boyfriend, this would be so much easier. She could call him and bitch about how much her partner was bothering her. She could listen to him threaten to beat the living shit out of Vaughn if he tried anything. She could take pleasure in knowing that after these two weeks, she could go home to someone who loved her.

But no, the bastard had to go and leave her. Both in the relationship sense and the sense that she was alone with the nincompoop. That was his new nickname now, nincompoop.

God did she wish she could talk to her aunts.

No Sydney, her mind berated her, you have to stop crying over spilt milk.

"Melissa?" Vaughn asked unsure if he dared to approach her. She looked… pissed. And a pissed Sydney was not one he wanted to be around.

Sydney whirled around and glared. "What?"

"Hey now… I come in peace," He answered his tone still hesitant.

She gave him a look and rolled her eyes. "It's almost nine."

"Thanks for that news flash," He muttered sarcastically rolling his eyes back at her.

"Cut the crap," She snapped. The sarcasm might have been tolerated had she been in a better mood. But she wasn't and so he would just have to work around her mood.

"I could say the same thing about you," He pointed out.

Apparently, just shutting up was too complicated for him. She rolled her eyes again and gestured impatiently towards the payphone in the lobby. "After you."

"No please," He countered, voice dripping with sarcasm, "after you."

Suppressing the almost overwhelming urge to smack him, she turned from him abruptly and marched over to the payphone. Much to her dismay, she realized that she had left her purse in the room and consequently had no change on her. Why Kendall had insisted they communicate with him on a payphone was beyond her. Gritting her back teeth, she forced a smile and turned towards her partner. "Oh James!"

Vaughn's eyebrow cocked, more in amusement than anything else. "Yes Melissa?"

She hated having to ask him for money. She hated it even more that he felt no need to be near the phone with her. "Can you come here for a sec?"

"Why?"

She almost growled at him, but thankfully kept from doing that. There wasn't anyone in the lobby besides the desk receptionist and a bell boy that were flirting but there were cameras and these cameras had sound. "Because."

"Because why?" He was being an ass and he knew it but she was being a royal pain in his ass all during breakfast (or what breakfast they had had together) and this was payback.

"Because I said so and if you don't get over here right now I'm going to tell Daddy Kendall not to send that toaster over." She called back, a poisoned honey tone in her voice.

That got him. Daddy Kendall meant Kendall but toaster? He had no clear idea but it probably meant he'd be fired. Now that wouldn't be good. Sighing he set his jaw and put on a fake smile. "Sure thing."

For a moment, her smile twitched into a smirk. "Good boy."

"Don't refer to me like I'm your dog," He hissed in her ear after he reached her. Of course, before then, he couldn't resist walking over as slowly as he could just to prolong her suffering a little.

"Why?" She asked with tones of mock innocence. "You act like one."

"What to d'you want?"

"Besides you to hold up your part in this mission meaning you have to check in with Kendall too?" She questioned rhetorically. "A quarter."

He smirked. "You need money?"

"No," She defended immediately. "I mean… maybe. Yes."

His eyebrow started to rise again. "Do you need the damn quarter or not?"

She just stuck out her palm and waited for him to hand her the money as her answer.

For his sake, he didn't roll his eyes at her as he fished in his pocket for a quarter. "Here you go princess."

"Shut up nincompoop," She growled snatching the quarter and shoving it into the coin slot.

The name was what had stunned him into not retorting. Nincompoop? What was she… twelve? The last time he heard that insult, it had been on the playground.

"Mum?" She asked, interrupting his thoughts. "It's Melissa." For a moment, he was confused before he remembered that was their cover. She was supposed to be calling her parents and giving them an update. "Can I talk to Daddy?"

He started tapping his feet impatiently causing her to give him a hard look. "Stop doing that," She hissed.

"Doing what?"

"Being so damn annoying," She answered cradling the phone between her chin and shoulder.

When she turned away, he rolled his eyes at her and leaned against the wall near the payphone.

Five minutes and two 'Yeah, I'll hold's later, Sydney sighed and hung up the phone. That actually surprised him. And she didn't talk to Kendal because…?

"C'mon," She hissed stalking off from the payphone looking more angry than she had before.

"What the hell was that all about?" He demanded in a low tone once he'd found his voice. They were about half way to the spa when that was.

"Kendall wasn't in," She answered calmly. "We have to call back later."

He wasn't in. He set up the damn check in time and he wasn't there? Bastard. "Define later."

"This afternoon," She informed him. In truth, the receptionist said that Kendall would be back in ten minutes but then the fricking lady had transferred Sydney to her father and without a word, she'd hung up. She wasn't going to start talking to her father now.

"Do you have specific time?" He pushed.

She growled and turned to him. "He'll be in this afternoon. We'll call back then." She repeated with a tone that made no room for argument. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go get a massage now."

"Whatever you want, princess," He muttered.

"Stop calling me that."

"Stop acting like it."

"Bite me."

"I'd rather not."

"So you've said," She replied dryly. "Is shutting up beyond your capabilities too?"

"Only if it's within yours," He responded.

She didn't even bother to reply to that, just rolling her eyes and walking down the hall without him.

"Insufferable wench," He muttered before following her, dragging his heels slightly.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

Well, that wasn't a sentence he wanted to hear coming from his supposed wife. Moving towards the source of her voice, which was just around the corner, he saw Sydney looking like she was about to kill the hotel worker in front of her.

"What's going on here?" Vaughn put in trying to spare the hotel worker.

"This idiot here is telling me that the spa is closed down," She growled.

Oh well no wonder she looked pissed. Firstly the mission is screwed (more so considering the day before's events) and secondly, she was going to be in an even worse mood than before. She'd been looking forward to the spa thing, he could tell.

"It's just temporary," The worker protested. Now he looked genuinely scared of Sydney. Vaughn didn't blame him. "Just for today."

"We had reservations for today," Sydney screeched. This had been the final straw. Now there was no coming back until all of her rage was gone.

"I'm sorry ma'am," The pitiful man answered his voice shaking dangerously. "We can reschedule you and you husband."

Sydney opened her mouth to yell something else when Vaughn clamped a hand over it to keep her silent. "That would be great." He answered. "As soon as you can, please." He waited until the worker had nodded rapidly and disappeared behind his desk before grabbing her by the elbow and dragging her around the corner. "You could not yell at the help you know."

Sydney growled and grabbed his hand ripping it off her face roughly. "He deserved it."

He nodded slowly, raising an unamused eyebrow at her. "Did he now…?"

"Yes," She replied forcefully. "He did."

"Did he make the spa close down for the day?"

"Well, no," She admitted uneasily.

"Was he rude to you when he told you it was closed?"

"Not really, no."

"Then how did he deserve it?"

Damn him and his logic. "He just did."

"That's mature."

"Go to hell."

"And how many times do you plan on saying that to me during the next two weeks?" He asked sounding a little bored. Well… her little hissy fit wasn't amusing anymore.

"Until you listen," She answered coldly.

"Oh, so the whole time then."

"Looks like it," She replied using the same poisoned honey tone he'd used on her just a moment before.

"Good luck with that," He rolled his eyes, shifting his weight. "Oh, I forgot to tell you-"

"Tell me what?" She interrupted.

Oh so now she was nice and attentive. Insane little… "If you'll shut up and not interrupt me, I'll tell you."

She threw him a nasty glare before crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm listening."

"Good," He responded with a half smirk. "We're having drinks with the Sarks sometime in the near future."

Though she tried not to, her jaw dropped. "You approached them without me?" She asked after finally getting a grip on her voice again.

"Actually, they approached me," He corrected. Yeah, it was mean and wrong to be enjoying this because she was such a brat that he didn't care. "It seems your fit caught their attention."

She gave him another glare. "What exactly did you tell them?"

"That we were honeymooners," He explained. "And you're on your period."

"You said what?" She hissed, eyes flashing dangerously.

"What else was I supposed to tell them?" He hissed back. "That we're really there to spy on them and you threw a fit because we hate each other?"

"That sounds like something you'd do," She answered icily.

"Only when you're around," He shot back.

"You tell yourself that." She answered dismissively.

He couldn't be able to say exactly what it was about her that made his blood boil but it was something and that something made his blood boil a lot. Maybe it was a good thing that the hotel worker chose that time to come back to them. He was pretty sure he would have strangled her if he hadn't.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adams?" The pitiful man squeaked.

"Yes," Sydney answered, her tone hard. She was mad with this guy and Vaughn, so she wouldn't have even been nice to the effing president.

"The earliest I could get you in is next Thursday at four," He informed them nervously.

She gave a slight twitch but other than that, kept a good hold on her temper. "Alright," She said slowly. "That will do perfectly."

Vaughn was a little bit proud of her for keeping a hold on her temper and not blowing up on the guy again. "Yes, perfectly," He echoed.

The employee gave a relieved sigh and nodded. "I'm sorry for that inconvenience."

Sydney rolled her eyes slightly and nodded courteously. "It's not your fault," She answered pleasantly.

"Enjoy the rest of your stay at St. Regis," The man finished, nodding to them before practically running from Sydney. It seemed her nice attitude had freaked him out more than if she had yelled at him.

"So you can be pleasant," Vaughn observed sardonically.

She rolled her eyes at him, opening her mouth to say something but changed her mind a half second later. Another half second and her mouth was open again.

She might actually apologize, he thought with a small smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"You still have food on your shirt," Sydney informed him giving his chest a poke right in the food stain before turning on her heel and stalking off.

So much for an apology.


SSB's note: Review responses are on my livejournal.

Next chapter: Of hang ups and exploring