Kage: This chapter is kinda strange... It ends very weird... I'm putting this now because I don't wanna take your mind off the end once you GET there, heh. Nine pages for you, dears! Thanks to all those that review!
Chapter 9- Selfishness
Ruwalk rubbed his hand, which was stinging a little from when he had hit that other dragon. Feh, he deserved it. Why can't that dumb bastard just leave me alone! I even try to be nice to him, but he just yells at me, then comes around asking for my forgiveness! Ch, yeahhhh sure buddy.
He brought a hand up to rub his forehead. It was that stupid dragon's fault he had a headache! He couldn't even sleep at night because of him! It's all his fault anyways. He deserved to be hit.
Rath wandered down the stone hallways of the castle, knowing his way around perfectly. He had heard Kai-Stern was looking for him, but he didn't feel like talking just then. Unfortunately for Rath, fate was going to make him talk anyways as he smacked right into Thatz.
"Oof!" the other rubbed his chest. "These corners are dangerous! It's like every time I turn down one I run into somebody!" He looked up, but Rath was just staring dismally at the floor. "...Rath? You alright?" asked the concerned Knight, brushing crimson bangs from his face.
The Fire dragon looked up, staring straight into emerald orbs. "I'm fine."
Thatz furrowed his brow. He thought the other was lying... but if he was, he wouldn't be looking him in the eye right now. "Are you confused?" he offered.
Rath frowned, tilting his head a little. "I just said I'm fine."
The green-haired Knight thought a moment before grabbing the others hand and marching down the hall. "C'mon, let's get some food!"
"I don't want to," he scowled.
"Well, I do and I don't want to be lonely, so you're coming with me!"
"Don't be such a selfish prick!" Rath snapped, tugging his own hand free.
Thatz turned, blinking at him. "I was just kidding..." he said slowly. "Now I know something's wrong; you're in a really bad mood."
"Shut up!" he snapped again, turning around to storm down the hall. He didn't get very far though, seeing as how the other snaked his arms around his waist, halting his progress. "Thatz..." he growled in warning.
Thatz hugged him tighter from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. "C'mon Rath, just talk to me. What's bugging you so bad?"
Rath frowned, staring at the stone floor in thought. "...I don't really know..." he finally sighed. "I guess it just... bothers me that Ruwalk's acting like such a jerk."
"Hmn? Why would that be?"
The crimson-haired Knight struggled for a moment. Why was he so upset? It shouldn't even matter; he and Ruwalk weren't that close! The main thing was-
Rath's eyes snapped open. Was that why...?
"Is it.. because... Ruwalk almost died... by my hand?" he asked himself slowly, not realizing he had said it out loud. "But... why would that matter?"
Thatz thought about it for a moment. "Maybe... it's because even though he almost died, he didn't hate you when you were given this form?"
Crimson eyes blinked rapidly. "That's right... even after I found out... what I really was... I realized I almost killed Ruwalk... but he never hated me for it..."
"Nobody here hates you," he replied softly.
"So stupid..." Rath gritted his teeth.
"Augh! I give up! That boy is impossible!" Kai-Stern sighed, leaning back against a tree after wandering the massive gardens for over an hour. He had asked everyone he'd seen, but nobody seemed to know where he was!
"Kai-Stern?" Lykouleon appeared, looking amused. He stepped around the tree, standing next to the frustrated dragon.
"Hmn? Oh, hey. ...Have you seen Rath?" he asked shortly.
The blond smiled apologetically. "No... I hope he hasn't disappeared again."
Kai-Stern's expression darkened. "If it turns out he's been gone this whole time I've been searching..."
The Dragon Lord chuckled, "I'm sure he's around here somewhere."
He sighed and nodded. "He better be." The albino paused, then asked, "Have you... talked to Ruwalk at all?"
Lykouleon's expression sobered. "Yes... not too long ago. Though, I suppose confrontation with him was unavoidable," he smiled weakly.
The other frowned. "Confrontation?"
"We had a bit of an argument, I'm afraid."
"Over what?"
"...Alfeegi."
Silence followed the statement. Kai-Stern's eyes were wide while green one's were downcast. "Why...?" he finally asked, though it was no more than a hushed whisper.
"It appears... Ruwalk's very uncomfortable having him around. He wouldn't give me a solid reason though."
"...You're not going to-"
Lykouleon looked up, surprised. "I wouldn't do that to Alfeegi!"
The albino relaxed. "I knew you wouldn't.. But I was just making sure."
He looked a bit sad. "It seems Ruwalk is giving us all a hard time. Apparently he snapped at Thatz earlier today as well."
Kai-Stern frowned. "I really don't like this. He needs to hurry up and get his memory back."
Lykouleon nodded, agreeing whole heartedly. "Well, I suppose you had better continue your search."
He sighed, "Yeah I guess. See ya." The Blue Officer waved, turning around and leaving. His Lord watched him go until he was out of sight, then let his mask slip, gazing at the ground with miserable green eyes.
"Oh, there you two are!"
Thatz looked up. "Hey Rune," he managed through a mouthful of food while his crimson-haired lover just glanced up.
"Are you alright?" the blonde asked Rath, coming into the dining room and sitting on the other side of the dragon, who was at the head of the table. Thatz, who was across from Rune, shoved a plate of food in his direction.
"That's mine," Rath muttered, but made no move to retrieve it. He was currently slouched over the table, chin resting on top of his crossed arms.
"He's depressed," the Earth Knight offered, motioning towards the stoic dragon with a chicken leg.
"Am not," said dragon scowled lightly.
Rune tilted his head worriedly. "Are you sure? You don't look so good. Did something happen?"
Thatz poured another glass of water and handed it to the former elf. "The usual; only this time Ruwalk was involved."
"You talked to him?" blue eyes blinked.
The other shook his head. "No, but the topic of depression started with thinking about him."
Rune's brow furrowed. "I don't understand..."
Rath sighed, interrupting the other two. "I said I was fine."
Emerald and blue eyes blinked, not believing him.
"The castle's falling into depression," Kai- Stern muttered, withdrawing his head from the dining room door. He had finally found Rath, only to see him down and surrounded with the other two Knights and thouroughly miserable.
"Does that include you?" a deep voice behind him asked.
The albino yelped and turned, only to see Tetheus. Kai-Stern blinked at the emotion in the others black eyes. ...Was he worried? "Huh?" was his smart reply.
"I asked if you were depressed."
"Oh! Nah, I'm fine," Kai-Stern waved it away. "Are you?" he asked, smirking a little.
"No," he replied shortly, turning to walk back down the hall.
The Blue Officer caught up. "Doing the rounds? Though I don't think any demon would attack this place as dull as it is now..."
Tetheus sighed quietly. "I suppose, but it must be done."
"Doesn't mean you have to do it alone," Kai-Stern smirked at the stoic dragon, who gave a small smile in response.
Alfeegi flipped over in his bed, where he had retreated for the day. Lord he was so sick of crying... but at the same time he just couldn't stop. It hurt so much...
"Tsu-! Oww!"
"Alfeegi? What happened?" Ruwalk asked in concern, looking over at the other from his desk where he was actually working for once.
"Nothing..." he muttered, sticking his finger in his mouth and sucking on it a little. The other got up and went over anyways, pulling the digit from Alfeegi's mouth. "It's just a papercut."
"Just a- jeez, what did ya cut it on?"
"It's a little deep," Alfeegi admitted before trying to reclaim his hand. The other hand went to one of the lower drawers of his desk, where he pulled out small band-aid.
"Always prepared," the brunette snickered. He suddenly leaned over and snatched the bandage, much to the others protest.
"Ruwalk! I need that!"
"I know," he muttered, taking the paper off the back with his teeth before putting the bandage around Alfeegi's cut finger. "There!"
"Thanks..." the White Officer said, blushing faintly.
Ruwalk bent closer and kissed the bandaged finger lightly, then winked at his love's deeper blush.
"Q-quit that!" Alfeegi snapped, snatching his hand back. "Go do your work!" And with that, the flustered dragon turned back to his desk, writing furiously.
He chuckled, but didn't go back to work. Instead, he perched on the edge of the others desk, much to Alfeegi's (further) embarrassment.
"Ruwalk, how many times do I have to tell you my desk is not a bench?" he asked in exasperation, looking up at the other, who shrugged.
"I don't know... I've lost count," he smirked, leaning closer.
Alfeegi leaned back a little, the color rising back to his cheeks. "You should listen," he scowled lightly.
"I do... I just decide not to take you seriously." He put a lean hand on one of the arms of Alfeegi's desk chair, leaning closer still.
The aquamarine-haired dragon had no more room to back up, and Ruwalk was pulling his chair closer. "You should," he muttered, now far more distracted by the others lips. What were they talking about again?
The brunette made a small, noncommital noise, and brushed his lips across Alfeegi's. The White Officer shivered a little, then leaned closer and connected their lips, pressing them together softly. Ruwalk sighed happily and deepened the kiss, nibbling gently on the others bottom lip.
Noise...
The earth... it's shaking!
Ruwalk!
Noise like thunder...
Heavy weight...
Your harsh breathing in my ear
Your grunts of pain
The lights are gone- darkness!
The door is shut
Trapped!
Death
Ruwalk!
I don't want to die...
Why did you...
Your arm around my waist...
Searing pain
Blood...
Yours or mine?
Heavy... can't hold you up!
Crushing weight...
I can't breath! I can't think! Ruwalk! Ruwalk! The smell of blood... It's sickening! You're hurt... Your breathing too hard not to be! Ruwalk! Answer me! Are you alright! Ruwalk! Ruwalk! Say something! Move- do anything!
"I love you..."
"RUWALK!" Alfeegi screamed, sitting straight up in bed. He panted heavily, staring wide-eyed at the darkness of his room.
Where was...?
He leapt out of bed, the cold floor searing through his bare feet.
Ruwalk!
He yanked open the wooden door and started to run down the hall. The Officers heavy breathing filled the quiet hallways, giving friends to the dancing shadows and company to the lonely torches that sat on the walls.
There- the library!
He yanked open the door, not caring that it slammed against the wall and made loud noise in the otherwise silent hall. He stumbled over to the vault and pulled it open slowly and painstakingly. Finally Alfeegi got it open! He rushed inside...
Only to find nothing...
But where's...?
The boxes had all been stacked again, as if nothing had ever happened. Moonlight from the large library window stretched to reach the vault, but it remained dark. Alfeegi stood there, panting and staring at the empty darkness... waiting...
Waiting...
Only then did he realize the tears streaming from his copper eyes.
"What IS your problem?" a voice growled, deep from within the vault. A figure appeared, glaring at the shaking dragon. A pale hand reached out and grabbed his throat non-too gently.
Alfeegi didn't even blink.
"I can't sleep- I can't even freakin' think because you're ALWAYS THERE," Ruwalk growled, tightening his grip a little, staring into copper eyes that didn't seem to take him in. "Even tonight! All these voices and images run through my mind... I'm sick of it!" he yelled, releasing his throat and slapping him hard across the face again.
This time Alfeegi didn't fall, but continued to stare at the ground.
The brunette continued to glare. "I came here, thinking I could find SOME kind of answer to why I keep seeing these things in my head, but there's nothing here! Those damn people cleaned everything up! The only evidence anything even happened is ME! But how do I know that! I don't know who or where I am! Hell, I don't even know WHAT I am! The only constant thing is the pain! I shouldn't feel this way, dammit!" A slender hand came to rest over his own chest, where his ribs had cracked from the falling files.
Copper eyes slowly raised and looked at him. Alfeegi stepped closer, and the brunette did nothing to stop him. For the first time, he really looked at him.
His face still held scars from the incident, marring his beautiful skin. His arm was now visible because of his tank top, showing it to still be wrapped. His leg had been broken too... or maybe just sprained... Had he been limping? He hadn't even noticed... He had been to busy wrapped up in his own pain...
His own suffering...
His own selfishness...
"You're right..." the aquamarine-haired dragon finally said, voice laden with guilt and sorrow as he looked shamefully into brown eyes. "It's my fault... it's all my fault... I made you come to the vault with me... even though I knew you hated it. I guilted you into searching for that map... for my own selfish reasons... Then you protected me during the accident... You risked your life for me... And I- I repay you by forcing my one-sided feelings onto you... and you... you poor thing," he whispered, bringing a hand up to gently trace his face. "You don't know anything... You don't have any memories or any recollection of anything... These people around you mean nothing, because how can you care for strangers?" Tears rolled down his cheeks in waves now. "I never even said... thank you... thank you for saving me... living is so painful right now... but I can do it... If you- you who have no past can do it... then I can too... I can too," he sighed, dropping his hand.
I can...
I will...
I have to...
If not for you...
For the memories we shared...
Even if you don't remember them...
And once upon a time... a book was started, but never finished. The worn book with a ratty red leather cover that sat where it had been dropped it on the shelf when an elf came to visit...
