Author's Note!
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This chapter is rather...interesting. This is why it's rated T people!
Ayu
Chapter Nine: Questions
Sesshomaru and I walked towards the clearing where Rin, Jaken and Ah Un were.
Just as I was, however, about to step into that clearing, his hand shot out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back.
"What?" I growled. I was not in the mood to talk to him at the moment.
I was mad.
"Why did you do that?" he asked, a slight edge to his voice. "Why did you interfere?"
"Because." I said. "I know that you don't think I understand, but I do. If you killed Inuyasha, who else would you fight? You would be alone, he's your only family left."
"You had no right to interfere." Sesshomaru growled.
I glared at him, pulling my arm from his grasp. "I would give anything, anything to see my dad one last time, you know that? He's dead, and I can't see him ever again. I would give anything to go home now and see my mom and my brother, I would give anything to tell them how sorry I was for being such a bitch, for changing my name, everything. I would give anything to do that, Sesshomaru."
He stared blankly at me, his mouth parted somewhat, as if he was going to say something.
But I didn't let him. I knew he didn't need to know half the things I was telling him, but I'd been carrying them for so long, I just had to say them.
"My family isn't here now." I snapped. "I'm alone in this world. You have Inuyasha, a brother, right here that you can see whenever you want. And yet you want to take that away from yourself? Think about it Sesshomaru. When he's gone, you'll be alone, and you'll hate it."
Then I turned and began to walk away from him, but again he grabbed my arm.
But this time, instead of just pulling me back, he pulled me against him, crushing his lips against mine.
I felt tears sting my eyes as he kissed me. Why was he doing this? I didn't want to love him, I didn't want to get attached.
But I did. I was attached to him, and I was very close, too close, to loving him.
I pulled away from his lips and took a few steps back.
"Don't." I growled, turning and storming away.
XxXxX Sesshomaru's POV XxXxX
I don't know what made me do it, but I did. I reached forward and pulled her against me, bringing my lips to hers.
She tasted good, too good for a human, and I found it hard for me to control myself. Her scent was intoxicating, her voice when she sang was like an angel's…was this how my father felt before he fell in love with Inuyasha's mother?
She pulled abruptly from me, tears rolling down her cheeks, hurt in her eyes. "Don't." she said, then turned and walked away.
I stared after her, the faint sensation of her lips on mine still lingering.
What was this feeling?
I shook my head, gripping my hand tightly by my side. I didn't want to be like my father. Because he fell in love with a human, a mortal, he was weak.
Now, he was dead.
I would not make the same mistake as he.
But…when I saw Naraku about to kill her, about to take her into his body, kill her, something had pumped through me, and I felt the need to protect her.
But as I stood there in the forest, staring after her, I felt the need, the want, to do more than just protect her.
She interested me, her personality and aura drew me to her like a bee to honey. The way she was with Rin, how she made the little girl smile…it made me happy. Rin had had such a hard life, and it was good that she had someone now to look up to, someone within her own species.
But…now Ayu was mad at me. All because I wanted Inuyasha dead.
But did I really want my brother dead?
After Ayu's speech, I wasn't too sure.
She'd said that she'd give anything to return home and apologize to her mother and brother before being hard…and changing her name.
What was her real name?
I frowned and turned, walking into the forest.
There was only one person I could go to that would have the answers to the questions running through my mind.
And I would rather not speak with Inuyasha.
But I soon found myself in front of the village where he was, his familiar scent lingering in the air.
If he smelt me, he would come.
And soon, enough, he did.
Alone.
"What are you doing here Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha snarled, unsheathing Tetsusiga. "Where's Ayu, what did you do to her?"
"I have done nothing to her." I said. "I merely wished to ask you something, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha stared blankly at me, as if he couldn't believe what I'd just said.
So I continued. "What is it, that draws you to the girl, Kagome?"
Inuyasha glared at me. "I don't know what your talking about Sesshomaru. If you're here to fight me, then lets fight."
I shook my head. "You life is spared, for today. But, answer my question."
Inuyasha lowered his sword, somewhat. "Your serious?"
I nodded.
"Just…her." he said. "That's all. I can't describe it. Why?"
"Do you think father," I said, ignoring his question. "Felt the same way as you?"
Inuyasha nodded. "Yes, I do."
I stood there for a while, thinking. But what did father feel?
"You know," Inuyasha said suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you loved Ayu."
I glared at him. "You know that's not true."
"Right." Inuyasha nodded, sheathing his sword. "You hate all humans, I know. But listen, I'm leaving now. About your questions? Just think about it."
Then he turned and walked away, just like that.
That had been one of the only times Inuyasha and I have had a civilized conversation.
I turned and walked away, what Inuyasha had said running through my mind.
He said…just her. When I asked him what drew him to Kagome, he just said…just her.
I knew that Inuyasha was in love with the girl, Kagome. I also knew he wouldn't admit it.
I felt similar towards Ayu…did that mean I was in love with her?
I growled, there was no way I loved, or even liked, that mortal.
It was only an attraction. A physical thing…I'm sure it was.
By the time I made it back to where the others were, the sun had set and the stars were out, shinning above me in all their glory.
I walked over to where Rin was peacefully sleeping beside Ayu, gripping the older girl's hand tightly.
Rin…really likes her. I thought, looking down at the two. She sees her…as a mother.
I knelt beside Ayu, brushing some of her blonde hair from her face.
She was so beautiful. I had never seen hair like that before. It was almost pinpoint straight, with bangs that fell just above her eyes. Her top showed off the thin arms and shoulders well, and her skirt was very, very short, short enough to give a very good view of her shapely legs.
I could see that she had gone from wearing those black shoes to none at all. I liked it better when she didn't wear shoes.
I turned away from her abruptly. Had I just thought…a human was beautiful?
I sighed and turned back to her, the moonlight cast eerie shadows across her face, giving her an almost demonic look.
I wondered what her real name was.
Gently, I shook the girl awake.
"Hmm?" she groaned, her blue eyes fluttering open. "What is it?"
"Come with me." I said softly, getting to my feet.
She looked at me oddly through the darkness. I knew she was trying to see what expression was on my face, but she couldn't see in the dark.
I, however, could.
Hesitantly, she got up, gently letting go of Rin's hand, and followed after me as I walked into the forest.
"What is it?" she asked, her voice still groggy from sleep. "Sesshomaru, it's the middle of the night."
I stopped and turned to her, catching the girl off guard somewhat. "Tell me your name."
She looked at me oddly. "You know my name. It's Ayu."
"No, your real name." I said. "You said you changed it."
"I did? Oh…yeah. Well it's not my real name anymore, my name is legally Ayu."
I frowned at her. "Tell me."
"No one in Japan, but my family, knows my real name."she said. "And I'd like to keep it that way."
I rolled my eyes, knowing very well she couldn't see me do so. She sighed and leaned against a nearby tree, cupping her hands together in front of her. "But you didn't wake me up just to ask my name, did you?"
"I did." I said flatly.
She gaped at me. "And you couldn't wait until morning?"
I smirked at her, knowing she couldn't see me do it. "Tell me your name."
She groaned angrily and stood straight. "I'm going back to bed. See you in the morning."
As if on impulse, I reached out and pushed her back against the tree, my hand resting on her shoulder.
"Tell me your name and I will let you go."
I could see, through the darkness, that her cheeks had flared and her eyes were wide. But then her face got rather angry.
"No."
Why did she have to be so stubborn? "Tell me Ayu." I said, leaning towards her. I could feel her sharp breaths against my cheeks, her scent wafting around me.
Tell me before I do something I'll regret.
She sighed and closed her eyes, lowering her head. "Amanda. My name is Amanda James. James is my last name."
Amanda? That was a…pretty name. It suited her.
But I liked Ayu better.
"Amanda James." I said, the word rolling off my tongue. "So now you are Ayu James?"
She nodded.
"Where are you from, really?"
"America." she said. "It's a country far from here, very far."
That's why she wasn't Japanese.
I nodded, letting go of her shoulder.
But she didn't leave, as I'd expected her to.
"Sorry about before." she said softly. "For getting mad at you. I just…hated to see someone throw away something that everyone else takes for granite."
I understood.
"Forgive me." I said. "For striking you that one day."
She looked up at me, her breath stopping in one sharp gasp. "W-What?"
"I'm sorry." I said, looking down at her blue eyes. "For hitting you. I shouldn't have."
She smiled faintly. "I deserved it. It's about time someone hit me into place. You just did it literally."
I smiled faintly.
"Ha!" she grinned, pointing up at me. "You smiled!"
"I did not." I said. How could she have seen that? It was dark, humans can't see in the dark.
"I saw! You are such a liar!" she laughed. "You suck at lying, you know that?"
I didn't answer her. Sneaky little…
She shook her head and yawned, stretching her arms above her head. "Well I'm tired…I'm going back to bed."
"No." I said. "Your not."
She looked at me, her arms still above her head. "What?"
I looked at her, really looked at her. Damn it. Why did she have to display herself like that?
When I took a breath to answer her, I got a full hint of her scent.
And, I couldn't really help myself.
I leaned forward and caught her mouth with mine. It had seemed, over the past twenty-four hours, I had become accustomed to her lips on mine.
And, I hated to admit, I liked it that way.
She seemed surprised my actions, but I soon felt her relax and kiss me back, lightly, but it was something.
I closed my eyes, parting her mouth with mine hungrily, taking in her full taste, finding it harder and harder to keep in control.
I pressed her against the tree, my hand tilting her head up so I could get to her lips more easily.
She didn't push me away, as she had before and she didn't freeze up like the first time I'd kissed her.
I don't even know what made me kiss her, or what made me want her so badly…but I just did.
Just like Inuyasha had said. "Just…her. I can't describe it".
And I couldn't describe it, either.
Maybe this was how my father felt before he fell in love with Inuyasha's mother.
But…would I be willing to fall in love with a mortal?
At that moment, however, I wasn't thinking about that, I was more concentrated on the girl I was kissing, her hands around my neck.
To me, at that moment, it didn't matter that she was human. She was just…Ayu.
I had thought, at first, that my attraction to her was just physical, but now I knew that it was something more.
I knew it was something more, especially when every time I saw her, I got a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.
My lips left hers after a while, sliding down her chin and jaw line, then down the side of her neck.
My fangs gently scraped the skin on her neck, and I felt her shiver against me. I smirked and kissed the skin lightly, satisfied when her grip on my neck tightened.
Was I really ready to mark her? Was she? Did I even want to?
Of course I wanted to.
By marking her, I claimed her as mine. But…how did I know that her attraction to me wasn't just physical, as I had thought mine was to her?
I didn't know that, and I wasn't about to ask.
So I moved my lips from her neck and pressed them back against hers, moving my hand to her thigh, gently tugging on it with my claws.
She sighed and allowed me to press myself tightly against her, crushing her between myself and the tree.
I was loosing my head, I could tell, it was almost as if I wasn't myself…or that I had changed somehow. But all I knew is that I wanted her kiss, her to be with me.
So I let the desire take over, and I gave in.
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