Chapter 11- Pained Soul

Another night of pained sleep, where dreams laced with taunting memories attacked his mind and forced his heart to undergo the love he was trying so hard to let go of...

But the heart is truly stubborn. Even if hurt before, it will try to love again. It will also try to keep any love it has... and thus was the case of Alfeegi. Every night he would lay down and feverishly pray that he wouldn't have any bittersweet dreams of the love he lost... He was trying so hard to move past this, he honestly was. But to have what he lost continually thrown back in his face when all he wanted was that love again... It was killing him.

Curled as tight as he could in his cover's at night, the Officer would try so hard to imagine it was Ruwalk with his arms wrapped securely, lovingly, around him... but imaginations can only stretch so far. Alfeegi hated the night and dreaded it even as he awoke in the morning and dried his face. During the day it was so easy to forget it all... to drown himself in his work and force himself to try and move past this. The fact that Ruwalk wouldn't enter the office made this easier as well.

Yet the darkness would eventually come and exhaustion would catch up with the Dragon, forcing him to face his bed and the long, lonely nights, filled only with the pain he tried so hard to ignore while the sun was brightly shining outside. Something deep inside him ached continuously... it hurt. It was killing him.

Under the pressure in his chest... he was sure he would shatter soon.


Rune lifted the back of his hand to the thick oak door, but paused yet again. He had no idea how long he had been standing outside of Thatz's room, but it was longer that it should've been. Honestly... it was Thatz... the dragon, well one of them, that he loved. This shouldn't be so difficult.

But it was... Rath needed to be confronted. It was ridiculous the way he was force himself into solitude and refuse to be with anyone during these times of depression. It was like he was punishing himself... He was forcing himself to be alone and miserable while also dealing with his painful thoughts and guilt.

Plus... because Rune cared for him so deeply... he could almost feel Rath's pain as his own. Thatz's mood hadn't been as cheerful either lately. They needed to find Rath and try as hard as they could to be with him no matter how much he refused... yelled... blamed himself...

Steeling himself, the blonde knocked softly on the door. He wasn't surprised when he didn't receive an answer. During Rath's times of depression, Thatz would often hole himself up in his room and lounge for hours on end while Rune would escape to the gardens and try to draw comfort from the nature around him. Opening the door quietly, he poked his head in, where clear blue eyes promptly widened in surprise.

Rath was already in the bed with Thatz!

Baffled and slightly put-out, Rune stepped into the room and shut the door quietly behind him. He walked over and looked down with a small, sad smile at his two lover's. Rath lay sleeping, another rarity, on top of Thatz's chest, his fist clutching a bit of material from the others loose tank top. The Earth Knight was on his back, one arm around Rath's waist while the other lay across his own stomach. Both were deep in sleep, their faces relaxed and at ease. Thatz was snoring softly while Rath seems to actually be at peace for once...

Smiling softly, Rune eased himself up onto the bed on Thatz's other side and lay his head lightly on his shoulder, snuggling up and breathing in the rich scent of his lover. Long, slender fingers reached up and started to card gently through crimson strands, just wanting some form of contact with the one's he loved the most.


"Wow... You look terrible Alfeegi!"

"...Good morning to you too, Kai-Stern," he replied dryly. The albino smiled sheepishly and echoed the greeting belatedly. He couldn't help it though... It had been the absolute truth when he said Alfeegi looked terrible.

Long nights of painful dreams and memories, along with even longer nights of freely flowing tears, was taking its toll on the poor dragon. Dark lines shadowed under his dull copper eyes and even his once pristine posture seemed to sag, like a heavy weight had been set upon his shoulders with no intention of moving off.

As soon as he could, Alfeegi would get up in the morning and set to work, desperate to escape the torture of the memories he shared with Ruwalk, but also forgetting to eat in most cases. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a decent meal. The maids would often bring him small trays of snacks or a bowl of soup, which he would slowly absorb while lost in a never-ending slew of work.

He was trying so hard though... He would eat if he remembered, but he just wanted to forget. He made it seem like he went to bed, then got up again in the morning at a normal hour, even if half of the nights spent in his room he didn't get a wink of sleep.

"You're up early," Alfeegi commented, trying to get into the beat of the day and not think about the upcoming night.

The other shrugged lightly. "I was walking with Tetheus on his morning rounds."

"If only you would focus that energy you seem to have towards Tetheus towards your work..." he sighed.

Light yellow eyes gazed at his friend carefully, a bit thrown off by the sigh instead of a usual vent of rage. "You okay, Alfeegi?"

"Fine," he brushed off, almost convincingly. Without another word, he continued to walk past Kai-Stern down the hall, heading to the office with his friend following him with his eyes worriedly. Something was definitely not right...


Thatz woke slowly, drawn out of his comfortably deep sleep by the rays of sunlight shining down on his scarred face. There were two warm weights on his shoulder and chest that he quickly found out were Rune and Rath, respectively. Rune's long hand was gently moving through the crimson strands of the others hair, and apparently didn't notice Thatz had woken up.

Bringing a scarred hand up, he moved to echo Rune's movement, except in his own blonde hair. Rune jumped lightly, but Thatz only chuckled. "Morning beautiful."

The former elf sighed softly, relaxing again and continuing his ministrations through Rath's hair. "Good morning."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, Rune completely enraptured with the way the thick red hair slid through his pale fingers. It reminded him strongly of blood.

After awhile, he quietly admitted, "I was surprised to see Rath in here with you..."

"I was surprised when he came in..." Thatz muttered. "Maybe he finally just got so sick of being alone he couldn't take it anymore." A few silky blonde strands slipped through his fingers. "Are you alright? I know how down you get when Rath's like this..."

Rune smiled softly and nodded. "I'm fine, thank you. It's just... hard to see Rath so depressed... and it's frustrating that we can't do anything about it. He always pushes us away at times like this..."

"Don't get yourself too down about it; he just needs his space."

"I know," he sighed, then quietly added, "I just wish he would let us help him..."

It's hard to have to admit your helpless when one you love is suffering. They seem to be falling into so much darkness, and every time you try to help they just push you away. It's hard to have to just sit back and watch them, only being able to hope for the best.

When the one you love denies and rejects the feelings though...


"Then shouldn't you be working if you're so worried about Alfeegi?"

"But," Kai-Stern whined. "I hate paperwork; you know that!"

Tetheus nodded a little. "Yes, but one of his reasons of stress is that the workload is getting greater because you and Ruwalk refuse to work, and the Dragon Lord isn't getting much work done."

The albino officer winced guiltily, but argued. "I think the overload of work is actually helping him... I mean, if all of us did our work, then he would have nothing to do. I think he needs the distraction," he ended quietly.

Tetheus said nothing.


"How in Dusis did you EVER talk me into coming here?" huffed a very irritated Alfeegi.

"Because I am THAT good!" Ruwalk replied cheerfully, swinging an arm around his boyfriends thin shoulders. The two were currently standing in front of the neighboring city's pubs, which was brimming and flowing with the movement of all those out for a late Friday night drink or game of pool. Ruwalk had somehow managed to drag his boyfriend down here, thinking a bit of alcohol might actually do Alfeegi some good.

Well... hopefully.

"This is ridiculous. I'm going home." And with that he turned to leave.

The brunette easily caught his elbow. "C'mon, don't be such a stiff 'Feegi!"

Crystalline copper eyes narrowed at the other. "Just because I don't enjoy drinking way too much alcohol, acting like a foolish child, having fun or saying things I don't remember, only to wake up the next morning with a headache fit to kill does NOT make me stiff!"

Ruwalk paused. "Yes it does!"

"You're being ridiculous; let me go! I'm not interested in this establishment!"

"Establishment? It's a BAR, Alfeegi!"

"Exactly!"

Another pause. "Aw, just come in with me! Please?"

"No!"

"Plleeeeassseee..." Ruwalk whined, chocolate brown eyes watering and widening and all-too-quickly adopting the 'puppy gaze.'

"No!" Damn those eyes...

"Pleeeaaseee! I love you 'Feegi!" he continued on, moving his arms to wrap loosely around the others neck.

Alfeegi struggled to remain pessimistic about the situation, though he couldn't help the faint blush that spread across his cheeks. "I said no Ruwalk!"

"We won't drink that much... I promise!"

After inwardly debating, arguing, and yelling at himself, Alfeegi finally relented. "Fine..."

"Yayy!" his boyfriend cheered, dropping his arms in favor of grabbing the aquamarine-haired officers hand and tugging him into the bustling pub.

That night Alfeegi got completely, utterly, outrageously, and totally smashed.

Ruwalk giggled a little as Alfeegi started the second verse to a song he was singing, even if he was horribly off key. The important thing was that his boyfriend was having fun, even if he wouldn't in the morning. Supporting most of the White Officers weight by holding onto the arm across his shoulders, Ruwalk attempted to steer them back in the direction of the castle.. But it kept moving and stuff... That was pretty odd.

"Al- Alfeegi," the brunette whispered loudly, trying not to laugh. The other officer stopped his caterwauling in favor of looking over at him. "We... We really... need to get back to the castle!"

Hazy copper eyes blinked. "Ohhh, right right!" he whispered back, nodding seriously.

They looked at each other for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

Not to much later, maybe an hour or so, they had stumbled into the castle grounds and were lead to their rooms by a couple of guards under Tetheus's command. Ruwalk giggled, trying to figure his way out of his shirt, feeling a little less intoxicated but still pretty tipsy. Alfeegi was in his own room, and the brunette was planning on going over there after he figured out which button went where... Oh wait.. He was supposed to be getting OUT of this shirt, wasn't he?

Just as he finally managed to successfully ditch the complicated clothing, a knock sounded on the door. Was it the guards checking on him? "M'fine!" he called out to them before looking down at the floor and wondering why on Dusis it was on the floor.

But the knock sounded again, this time a little longer. Disorientated chocolate eyes roamed until they found the source of the noise; the door. No wait... behind the door! Stumbling over in that general direction, he finally managed to figure out the complicated doorknob and swing it open. The door, not the knob.

Something warm and hot and wet and incredibly tasty suddenly entered his mouth while two hands cupped his cheeks, pressing into him. A heartbeat later, Ruwalk was kissing the person back hungrily, who absently kicked the door shut behind him. He brought his own hands up and cupped the back of the persons head, feeling familiar silky strands along with a familiar haircut.

Ruwalk moaned into Alfeegi's mouth as he realized who the person was. This was truly a wonderful night. He had to get Alfeegi drunk more often!

The smaller dragon purred in response to the other's moan, sliding his hands from Ruwalk's face back to his hair, running his slender fingers through the thick strands. The brunette fingered the hairs on the back of Alfeegi's neck, tilting his head to kiss him deeper. He turned the two around so now his own back was to the door, and started to nudge Alfeegi over to the bed. The back of the White Officer's knee's hit the edge and he fell back, pulling the other with him.

Ruwalk used his arms to prop him up and tug Alfeegi more to the center of the bed, never breaking the passionate kiss they had locked themselves into. Once they were safely away from the edge and sprawled in the middle of the large bed, Ruwalk broke the kiss, panting for hair, only to start dropping kisses along the others thin jawline. The aquamarine-haired officer moaned breathlessly, tangling his fingers into thick, red-tipped hair. Any place Ruwalk kissed him felt like it was on fire, blazing through his veins and going straight down. Delivering a small lick the outside of a pointed ear, the Yellow Officer smirked softly down at the other before trailing down, stopping to suck on that place on Alfeegi's throat that drove him wild.

Sure enough, as soon as he pressed his lips to the magic spot, a long moan erupted from the dragon underneath him. When he applied his teeth it was all Alfeegi could do to keep from screaming.

Writhing underneath the larger dragon, Alfeegi's alcohol-induced mind could think of only one thing; Ruwalk and his shirt. Specifically, Ruwalk without his shirt. He untangled his hands from the others hair and slowly ran them down his arched back along the bare skin, making the brunette shiver and bite down harder on his neck.

Ruwalk silenced Afeegi's scream of pleasure with his mouth, drawing his tongue out afterwards and sucking languidly on it. His hands trailed down the smaller dragons sides, fingering the edge of his shirt a moment before going underneath it, stroking the smooth, flat belly of his love. Alfeegi moaned and arched into the touch, reclaiming his tongue only to run it along Ruwalk's sensitive ear. The brunette shuddered and moaned above him, bringing his hand up far enough to brush over a pert nipple.

Alfeegi jumped a little at the sudden contact, then relaxed with a low groan. His hand trailed down to the small of Ruwalk's back, were he pulled the other closer to him, arousal meeting arousal so hot it made both moan louder.

Then Alfeegi woke up with a sharp gasp and a raging hard-on.

He panted, staring at the far wall a moment before blushing heavily and bunching the covers around his lap, even though it was the middle of the night and no one else was in the room with him. The White Officer groaned into his hands from the erotic dream, then flushed even more in embarrassment as he remembered how he had thrown up suddenly over the side of the bed, effectively ending the erotic dance between the two men.

Alfeegi, cursing under his breath, threw back the covers and walked, slowly, over to his bathroom. He turned on the shower, quickly shed his night clothes, and stepped into the cold spray with a small yelp and a deep shiver.

After certain problems had been maintained, he turned the water to a much warmer and more comfortable temperature. He stood underneath the warm water, letting it run over his face, through his aquamarine hair and down his body. It was very soothing..

Alfeegi turned around and let the shower fall upon his shoulders and back, copper eyes closing as he willed the warm wetness to ease his tension away.

Lord he was tired... and not just physically. He was tired of pretending everything was fine while inwardly his heart was utterly shattered. He didn't blame Ruwalk, and he understood how the other could no longer love him... but it still hurt.

Shivering despite the heat from the water, Alfeegi brought his hands up to grab each shoulder, hugging himself and trying to concentrate on the heat instead of the frigid loneliness he felt inside.

Copper eyes slowly opened, staring down at the water droplets as they hit the tub and rippled with the water already there.


The Dragon Lord had a very good dream last night. Well, it wasn't exactly good, but he thought it might be, since it just might help the current situations around the castle. He walked slowly down the halls, nodding the occasional guard or maid, making his way to Alfeegi's door.

After knocking softly twice, an even softer voice inside called for him to come in. Alfeegi was just finished combing out his long hair, but he quickly got and bowed.

"Good morning, my Lord."

Lykouleon smiled at him. "Good morning Alfeegi. I've come to request something from you."

"Yes, sir?" the other asked, glancing up at him curiously. The Dragon Lord saddened over the sight of the dark circles under his friends blank copper eyes. What once had been crystalline and shining with light and brilliance was now gone, and only haunting despair swam in those eyes.

"I'd like you to take a vacation."

Silence filled the room.

"I... beg your pardon?" Alfeegi asked in confusion, his brow furrowed delicately at the center.

Lykouleon repeated his request. Even though Alfeegi was his hardest worker, anyone could see how he was slowly dying inside. It was as if everyday that passed a little more of his life dripped away, falling into the endless black of despair.

After a pause, the other spoke again. "My Lord.. I'm afraid I don't understand.."

"Alfeegi.. You need a break. You need to get out of this castle." Away from Ruwalk, he added mentally.

He shook his head. "But.. I have work.."

"It will be mailed to you. You can manage expenses anywhere you go, correct?"

"Well.. Yes, but..."

"Alfeegi, please," the blonde said softly. "Everyone can see how being here is eating you away inside. You don't have to stay here, in the place that makes you miserable."

The White Officer paused again, mulling it over. He did so desperately want to get away from the dank walls of the castle, where memories clung and openly reminded him of a time he actually felt alive. Yet at the same time he didn't want to abandon this place... He knew that he could easily get his work no matter where he was, but because of the slow mailing process, work would be later than normal. Also, he wouldn't be here to pick up the extra slack from Kai-Stern and Ruwalk.

Gentle hands rested on his shoulders, causing conflicted copper eyes to look up at his Lord, who smiled softly. "I order you to get away from here, Alfeegi, at least for a little while."

Another stretch of silence fell between them before he finally replied, "Yes my lord.." He even smiled a little. "Thank you."

Lykouleon smiled, waving it off. "I expect you to be gone first thing tomorrow morning. I'll call a carriage here to pick you up."

After Alfeegi repeated his thanks, the Dragon Lord nodded his head and disappeared out the door just as he had same in not but a few minutes ago. The White Officer sat heavily on the edge of his bed, a million and one things running through his mind.

Ruwalk...


Kage: No way! I actually made it by the 6th! -cheers- Okay but I've been awake for over 24 hours and have a killer headache and school starts tomorrow... So yeah.. Busy life for el Kage, heh. Hopefully I'll get an update soon! Please review!