Chapter 11

Fine Wine and Flashbacks.

1st year students don't know anything. They are ignorant and unprepared. Sarah felt as though everyone in the school was behind in their studied. She knew that technically they weren't, because American wizarding schools start a year later than the European schools, so Sarah started school when she was 12 instead of 11. This meant that they had to learn things quicker than the British did. Also the children that grew up around magic went to a wizarding pre-school that taught the basics of wizardry, so the basics weren't covered when the children went to the real schools. Sarah had to learn several things before she even went to school, and then move at an extremely fast pace when she got there.

"Mr. Cambelle, I am waiting for an answer," Sarah said, glaring at the frightened looking first year. It had been a very long day and class was almost out. Thankfully, she had Remus's beautiful bath tub to look forward to, and the thought had gotten her through most of the day.

"Errr…The Shield Charm?"

Sarah sighed and nodded her head, although not at all satisfied. "Mr. Cambelle, make sure to study your lesson tonight, as it is clear you didn't read the material in class today."

"I got the answer right, though!"

"I don't care if you get every answer right from now until the end of the year unless you are 100 percent positive of it. Next class we will be performing the shield charm, so practice the wand movements. Have a good day, class dismissed."

The students were out of her classroom in one second flat. Sarah took a deep breath and stretched out. She stood up lazily summoned all of the papers on the desks to her own. She stacked them neatly in a pile, and then placed the inside the vanilla folder the remained the one thing in her life that was organized. On her way to the way to the great hall, she dropped the folder off in her office where she spent most of her time grading papers.

Since the week before when Remus's had left, her life had become purely routine. Get up at 8, get ready for the day, head to her cold and ugly classroom and wait for students to come in, usually staring in wonder at the girl in the wooden frame with the long red hair. She would stay in the ugly room until 12, when she would go to the great hall for a change of scenery and stuff some strange and foreign meal down her throat. She would then go back to her classroom and teach until 4, and then she would come back and grade class work and homework and tests for about four or five hours. She would then take an hour long nap, most of the time over sleeping, so that would take up about 2 hours of her time. By then it was 10. She hadn't used Remus's bath yet because of her busy schedule, and was always too tired. She took very quick showers at night and then crawled into bed around 10:30.

When Sarah entered the great hall, several people greeted her enthusiastically, and she waved back just as happy. No one in Europe would ever see her true smile. Not when she was so bored and lifeless.

The day before she had again taken Hermione and Ginny to church with her, but they didn't linger as they had the previous weekend. They returned just 10 minutes after the service had ended. Sarah had hundreds of written answer tests that she had to grade, and she could not possibly waste the day in America when there was so much to do back at Hogwarts.

Sarah sat down in her seat next to McGonagall. They briskly acknowledged each other and silently ate their dinner. She couldn't wait to use Remus's bath. She had practical lessons for the rest of the week, so she could grade the papers from today another time.

Once Sarah had arrive to the room, she walked immediately into her bathroom without even taking off her shoes. She grabbed her bath oil, a comb and brush, lotion, body spray, and a toothbrush and she dumped them on a clean white towel. She also retrieved her bathrobe and a silk light purple night gown that was trimmed with lace and cut off around her upper thigh, and it had a slit that went up to her hip on one side.

She wrapped everything up in the towel and walked into Remus's room. She set all of her oil and lotion around the large tub, and put her brush and toothbrush on Remus's empty vanity. She hung her robe and lingerie on the hook on the door and then turned the faucets on the tubs until she had the right temperature, and then plugged the drain.

The tub was deep so she knew it would take time for it to fill completely. In the meantime Sarah walked into the gorgeous kitchen which she found herself spending all of her very limited free time in. She had put a bottle of wine in the wine cooler that she had picked up at her house yesterday, and she happily opened it and retrieved a wine glass from the cupboard.

As she walked back into Remus's bathroom, she found her thoughts drifting back to Lauren, or Lily. It had been with Lily when Sarah had had her first alcoholic beverage.

"Hey Sarah, are the Caps here yet? I thought I heard their car," Jake asked Sarah. Sarah peered out of her bed room window.

"Yes, their car is in the driveway now."

"Mom has gone insane, Sarah. Have you gone downstairs yet? Everything is either red, white, blue, or has an American flag plastered on it. She filled the clear cookie jar with red, white, and blue shiny ribbons and she has a star shaped candle with the American flag on it in every corner of the house. I wouldn't be surprised if she paints red and white stripes on the toilet seats!" Jake said incredulously.

"Of course. But she loves the forth of July. She gets more excited over this than Christmas," Sarah responded as she and her brother left her room.

"It's just because there are people over. You know she wouldn't get this worked up if it were just us."

"I know, but—" Sarah was cut off by the doorbell. Sarah gave a huge smile and raced ahead of Jake and down the stairs. She cut off her mother and yanked open the door excitedly.

"Hello, Sarah," Mrs. Caps said smiling. She was the image of her daughter but with more defined features and maturity. She held in her hands a circular object with aluminum foil over it.

"Hi, Sandra!" Sarah's mother said, letting the four people in the doorway. Naturally, Sandra and Nick Caps were first, and then their daughter, Lauren, and Sandra's mother, Isabella Mere. Lauren and Sarah ran upstairs to Sarah's room and once inside Lauren kicked off the shoes she was wearing.

"Those things are evil. Look at the marks on my foot? My mom made me wear them though. Ouch."

Sarah laughed. "What did you did on the French test we got back today…"

After dinner, Mrs. Caps and her mother went to help Sarah's mom clean the dishes in the kitchen while Sarah, Lauren, her brother and their dad's sat and talked in the family room.

"Hey dad?" Sarah called.

"Yes?" Her father responded.

"Can I try something from the bar?" she asked him.

He nodded to her. "Sure, but ask whenever you want to try something in there."

"I know, you've told me a million times," Sarah said as she and Lauren opened the cabinet doors to the bar. They looked through bottle after bottle of wine and whisky and gin. Sarah stopped at a green glass rectangular bottle that interested her. "Can I try this, dad?" Sarah asked, holding up the bottle for her father to see. He smiled and nodded.

Lauren gave Sarah a shot glass from under a napkin and held it as Sarah filled it to the point where it was nearly overflowing. She carefully brought it to her lips and tilted her head back, letting the foul tasting liquid burn down her throat. She brought her head up, with an expression of disgust, and put the glass down and then sauntered back to couch where she collapsed. Lauren went to the kitchen quickly to get her water.

Her father, brother, and Nick were howling with laughter on the sofa across from Sarah. "Sarah, sweetie, you never down a shot of liquor like that. Especially on your first time," her father told her.

Jake grinned. "Hey Sarah, smile for the camera!" he said. Sarah lifted her head a few inches off the couch but could not put her hand up in time to block the picture being taken.

Sarah sighed as she set the bottle and glass on the side of the now filled tub. She turned and closed the doors before removing her clothes and stepping into the hot water. Sarah reached over to the oil on the shelf beside her foot, and poured three capfuls of it into the water.

She laid down in the water and closed her eyes, letting her mind wander back to her childhood friend. She hadn't told Harry about her relation to his mother yet, but when they became better friends, she would get Dumbledore or Remus to tell him. Sarah did not hesitate in saying that the boy scared her. Although she knew he couldn't lay a finger on her, Ginny's well being was at risk. Sarah had taken immediate liking to both Ginny and Hermione, and they were both her only female friends that she could relate to here.

Sarah had been debating with herself whether or not to tell Ginny about her brother. Harry was a nice boy, but his act of violence by the tree on Saturday had brought back bad memories. It reminded her once again that no one could ever really be trusted. There was a chance that they would change and become malicious, cruel, and even abusive.

Sarah very much cared about Ginny, even if she had only known her for two weeks. She supposed it was mainly because of Ginny's situation, which, to Sarah, seemed very much like her own. Telling Ginny would alert her to the danger signs Harry seemed to be showing, however, Ginny wasn't anything like Sandra Bern. Ginny was wild, bold, and outspoken. Much like Sarah. This made Sarah think that maybe she didn't need to tell her. She didn't want anyone who didn't have to know, know.

But Harry was Lauren's son. Surely he would be just as kind and caring as his mother? And his father had been one of Remus's good friends. Surely a man like Remus wouldn't have befriended anyone hostile or violent. Sarah sighed, creasing her brow in frustration.

Even if her brother had become a person Sarah never wanted to see again, it hadn't meant that he wasn't a great person at one time. She didn't regret having him in her life. She had loved Jake at one point and liked spending time with him. She had memories of him that she would never give up.

Perhaps this applied to Ginny also. Ginny would be fine, and if something happened between Harry and her, good or bad, she could deal with it. And if she couldn't, she would have Sarah and her friends and family to help her.

Sarah inhaled deeply and pour the red wine into her glass and took a sip. She smiled at her memory of her brother. Up until he turned 19, Jake had always been there for Sarah, even when her mother wasn't.

Sarah looked out the window nervously. Her date would be here any minute. Kevin Miller was the most attractive man in her year. He was very tan and had dirty blond hair and perfect blue eyes. Sarah's innocent flirting had paid off. He had asked her to the Valentines day dance a week before.

Sarah groaned when she looked at the clock. He would be here any minute and Sarah didn't even have her dress on! She yanked open her closet door and grabbed the short red dress from inside. She put it on as fast as she could, and then raced to her dresser to put on her makeup.

Almost exactly when she finished, the door bell rang. Sarah raced down the stairs and tried to leave unnoticed but her mom made that impossible, since she was standing by the door just in time to answer it before Sarah.

"Oh Kevin! How are you? Is your mother well?" Mrs. Bern asked.

Kevin gave Sarah's mom a friendly smile. "Yes, she's fine. These are for you, Mrs. Bern," Kevin said, giving her mother a small bouquet of flowers. He looked at Sarah with an even bigger smile, and gave her a dozen red roses.

Sarah blushed. "Thank you," she said softly and gave the roses to her mother to put in water. She and Kevin walked to his car and drove to the dance. Kevin was 16 years old and 3 years older then Sarah. She was only allowed to date him because her mother was very close to Kevin's mom.

The dance was fun, but since it was at the high school and everyone was older than her, Sarah felt inferior and vulnerable. She tried to push her feelings aside and get along with Kevin's friends.

At the end of the dance, Kevin drove her to get a bite to eat at an Italian restaurant close to home. Sarah could talk to him easily, because they had been friends longer than they had been dating. Because of this Sarah enjoyed dinner much more than the dance.

"I had an awesome time tonight, Sarah," Kevin told her on her door step. All the lights in the house were out, so Sarah knew her mother hadn't waited up for her.

Sarah cleared her throat and smiled. "Me too."

Kevin leaned in a little and tilted his head to the side. Sarah knew what was coming. He brushed his lips up to her and then stepped back.

"I'll see you tomorrow after school. Bye Sarah!" Kevin said and kissed her on the cheek quickly. Sarah watched him until she heard the rearing of his car engine and he drove off. Sarah smiled. That had been her first kiss. It was not as she had always imagined it would be, but at least she had had it.

About a month after that when she was at a football game looking for Kevin, she found him sitting under the bleachers with a girl older than Sarah, making out. Sarah was devastated, as it had been her first real breakup, she hadn't expected it at all. She ran home as fast as she could, not going in the house. She didn't want her mother asking her a million questions. Her mom would just make her feel worse at a time like this.

She laid on the porch swing and cried. She waited for her brother to come home from work, and when he did, he saw her and used the front door instead of going through the garage.

"Sarah?" Jake asked softly.

Sarah looked up. Her eyes and nosed were red, her face was tear streaked, and she had mascara running down her cheeks. "Kevin…"

Jake sighed and set his school bag down beside the swing as he sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, Sarah. But I don't think he was the one for you anyway."

"Why do you say that?" Sarah asked, wiping a tear from her eye and sitting up.

Jake shrugged. "He didn't have that look in his eye that you get when you're in love."

"What look?" Sarah asked. "How can you tell?"

"The way mom looks at dad. The little twinkle in her eye that she gets when he sings to her."

"I always thought that that was her tearing up!"

"It may have been. But when she looks at him, you can tell, can't you?" Jake asked, smiling a little. Sarah nodded. "Don't worry, you'll find the perfect guy Sarah. I promise."

"What if he doesn't love me back?" Sarah asked, more tears spring up into her eyes at the thought.

Jake leaned over and kissed the top of Sarah's head. "Any guy that doesn't fall madly in love with you is crazy, Sarah. And you don't want to be dating anyone crazy, so that must mean that that guy isn't for you."

Sarah took another sip of wine and smiled. She still hadn't found that special guy yet, but somehow, she still believed Jake and would always remember his promise. She would treasure Jake's memory for the rest of her life, even if he had changed into another person when he turned nineteen.

It was very cold out, almost 0 degrees. The wind was blowing and the pretty dark brown hair of Sarah Bern whipped around her pale skin, growing more tangled by the second. She wished her mom would come to pick her up from school, but her brother made that impossible.

Jake had gotten very tall and muscular through the years and he used this new found power to control his family. Sarah understood by now what was going on, but it did not stop her from being nervous every time she walked home from school. She never saw any violence from him besides the time she was slammed into a wall, but only in the beginning. Sarah had pushed the memory out of her head and only thought of it when she was alone.

Sarah stood in the gateway of the perfect white fence that guarded out deer and rabbits from eating her mother's tulips. She could see shadows moving inside the living room window but she was afraid to enter and find out if they were what she thought they were. Realizing that she could no longer stand outside in the freezing cold, she slowly walked the brick path to the front door of her small house.

Anxiously, she turned the doorknob and stepped inside of hell. Instantly the sound of yells and crashes and screams flooded her ears. She slammed the door shut and ran as fast as she could up the stairs. Once in her room she locked the door behind her and fell to ground, crying.

Sarah sobbed for over an hour, and the yelling and crashing never stopped once. Sarah wondered if their house would still be standing by the end of this fight. The tears were now unwilling to come, even though Sarah wanted them to. She wanted to cry and cry until she could no longer see.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she turned up her stereo as loud as it would go, and in her head she imagined herself singing the lyrics. She could sing beautifully in her mind, even if she couldn't in real life. In her imagination, she could dance better than a member of the Moscow Ballet. And she did. She drowned out her life and the outside world so that she was ok, and the only thing she could feel or taste or smell or see or hear, was the music.

She could deal with her life that way. She never really faced her problems. Never truly grieved. She just pretended everything was okay. And then, like magic, it would be.