Fix You
Author's Note: I had the perfect chapter for you guys, but it all somehow disappeared in between the time I finished writing it and went to take my shower and sat down to do a re-read. I guess I didn't save it right. Anyway, I want to get this story finished within the next three weeks before I start up school again so you guys won't have to worry about updates. I ran out of lyrics after the first pair in the chapter, but fear not I have a plan to keep my Fix You lyrics going until the end of the story. Thanks for all the reviews. They were all so flattering and inspiring, it makes me happy knowing you guys all love the story.
Chapter 5: SummerAnd ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Seth stared at Summer in an awed shock. It had been almost exactly fourteen years since the last time he had seen her, and yet the petite brunette hadn't changed a single bit. Of course, she seemed more mature than she had at seventeen, her eyes showed traces of age and wisdom, but she looked the same as ever, she still looked like his Summer. Confusion and emotions overwhelmed Seth has he watched her regard him and Marissa with a look of shock that he was sure mirrored his own.
Marissa.
Within seconds of even thinking her name, Seth snapped back to the present. He was no longer the same seventeen-year-old gangly boy pining for her, he was older now and he had a wife and family. Summer was no longer his, and he couldn't be thinking about any feelings that might still be lingering for his ex-girlfriend. Marissa needed him.
"Seven years," his found his voice at last.
"Huh?" Summer regarded him with a look of confusion at his words, "Still haven't learned to, like, talk yet Cohen?"
"We've been married seven years," he clarified, "Me and Marissa that is. Marissa and me, we've been together seven years."
He felt himself revert back to the babbling Cohen he had been around Summer all those years ago. A slight feeling of embarrassment came over him, but he dared to glance at Marissa and saw a genuine smile threatening to overtake the false bravado she had put on since they had seen Summer standing at the party,
"Almost seven years," Marissa corrected him, her hand rested on his back and Seth could feel her tension and uncertainty. Her fear at what Summer's reappearance might mean to them both.
"God Coop, I can't believe you married Cohen," Summer shook her head, "I mean you could've done so much better than him."
"Gee, thanks Sum," Seth muttered, it was his turn to feel inadequate again. After all, this wasn't the first time that someone managed to point out that he didn't quite measure up to what people expected Marissa Cooper's husband to be like. It was just like Summer though, to put him down. She had been doing it ever since she had stopped ignoring him altogether by calling him pervert, jackass, asshat, or something along those lines.
The three of them stood there together, examining each other. Seconds passed in silence again before Summer spoke, addressing Marissa, as always, "You didn't mention anything when I saw you at your mom's place."
Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place in Seth's mind. Marissa's behavior the other night, her questions about whether he thought he would've ended up with Summer if she hadn't left Newport. His wife had known all along that Summer was in town again, working for her mother on the Caleb Nichol memorial service. She had just been keeping it a secret from him. Seth understood though, understood why Marissa might feel insecure about it.
After all, if Ryan suddenly waltzed back into town he might feel the same way.
"You know Summer, I'd love to hear you go on about how I'm not worth anything or whatever," Seth cut in before either old friends could say anything more, "But I've got an image to uphold as heir to the Newport Group."
With that, he pulled Marissa closer to him and walked away from his ex. He held onto his wife tightly, hoping that she knew how much he really did love her. How much he loved his life and that he wouldn't have traded the past seven years of marriage, fourteen years of friendship, for anything else in the world. They had to stick together through this, it had been the two of them for this long, and it would be the two of them until the end.
He only hoped she knew.
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Moments after Marissa and Seth had split away from Summer, the two of them had been torn apart and swept away. Seth by clients and fellow co-workers who were only there to talk business and Marissa by her Newpsie trophy wife friends who apparently had tons of new gossip to share amongst each other, mostly about Summer. Although Marissa had no wish to converse with these women whatsoever, she really didn't have a choice.
She was their named leader. Always had been.
As she listened to the hushed whispers about the rumors circulating around Hollywood about the model-turned actress-turned interior designer and her big shot Hollywood actor husband and their apparent marriage issues, Marissa scanned the room. Summer had just joined Seth and one of his clients in a conversation and Marissa felt a stirring in her stomach that had been there since she had first seen Summer at the party. Kirsten and Sandy were off at the other side of the party having what seemed like heated argument.
"I hear he's been cheating on her," one woman whispered conspiratorially, "He's working on location all the time, hardly ever home. She always has the house to herself."
"I'd be careful 'Riss," another woman next to her said, "She'll try to steal Seth from you. Remember how in love they used to be?"
"Not to mention that Summer likes her men with money," the first one added, "And your husband is heir to the biggest fortune in Newport."
The stirring in Marissa's stomach became stronger, and she glanced over to where Seth and Summer were talking. She saw the awkwardness that was between them, but she also saw how they were seventeen years ago. The bickering and arguing, but the making up as well and how Seth would always do anything to please Summer. Marissa knew she shouldn't be worried, but her past with men was not exactly the best. Luke had cheated; Ryan had left her for another girl. She couldn't help feel insecure. Seth had always gone out of his way to get Summer.
Giving her "friends" a small, meek smile, she made her excuses and headed directly towards the bar. She looked around to make sure no one was watching her and turned to the bartender, ordering herself a drink. "Vodka Martini, on the rocks."
She sat there, willing herself to not look towards Seth and Summer, she toyed mindlessly with her wedding ring trying to assure herself that there was nothing to be worried about. She had Seth, they were married and had two kids. Yet, nothing seemed to calm the stirring in her stomach, her unexplainable feeling that things were getting bad, that her life was slipping through her fingers.
The bartender slid her drink towards her, and Marissa looked down into the glass for a few long seconds. She rarely let alcohol touch her lips since she had gotten pregnant with Allie five years ago. When she found out she was going to be a mother, Marissa had reformed. Before, it had been tradition to drink away her every problem and then Seth would help patch things up with a late night snack of pancakes, but right now she didn't think there was any amount of pancakes in the world that could solve this. Instead, she picked up the glass and took a small sip of her first real drink in a long time.
"I shouldn't be surprised," a familiar voice rang through Marissa's head, the second blast from the past in such a small amount of time. It was a voice that Marissa knew all too well, a voice that occasionally haunted her dreams, one that still sent shivers down her spine.
Turning slightly, Marissa's eyes met another pair of clear blue ones though these were more worn by years of hard work and things that people should never have to see in a lifetime, they were a pair of eyes that had always been wise beyond their years, even at seventeen. Ryan Atwood stood in front of her, sticking out like only he could in a Newport event with a black t-shirt and jeans. "Ryan."
"Marissa," he nodded and then motioned for the bartender to bring him a drink, "It's been a long time."
"Fourteen years," she said in agreement.
The bartender gave Ryan his drink as he took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, slipping one into his mouth like he had fifteen years earlier and lighting it. She offered the pack to Marissa but she shook her head, "I quit, a long time ago."
"So did I," he took a puff, "Started again during breaks at work. Not much else to do."
Marissa examined his hands. They were rough and chapped from long hours of work in construction, and his arms showed it too. His muscles were well defined, bulging with his every movement. She forced herself to look away, feeling dizzy. The stirring had just gotten worse and her ears were humming. She hadn't touched her drink again yet, not with Ryan standing right there in front of her.
He moved away then, taking his drink with him. As he left, he gave her his usual sideways glance. She gave him a small wave, it was all she could muster, but Ryan did nothing. One thing that hadn't changed at all in fourteen years was his ability to convey his every thought with just a single look.
Once he was away, Marissa downed her drink and quickly ordered a second one. The cracks that she had thought she had filled in fourteen years ago, were slowly beginning to re-emerge, and Marissa could feel them surfacing, becoming deeper in her soul. She thought that she and Seth had fixed her brokenness already, but it had just been suppressed with the absence of these two people in her life.
She was breaking.
