Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings.

Chapter 14: Through Marshes and Forests

"See? See? We've led you out!" said Gollum eagerly, pointing to the end of Emyn Muil.

"Thank you Gollum!" said Hermione.

Gollum stared at her in mild confusion, it had been about 500 years since anyone had last thanked him, and he couldn't really remember how to respond to that. So instead he just bowed and said, "Nice miss," before descending down the path out of the rocks.

Sam did not like the looks of where they were heading. It was very foggy, although they could still see Mt. Doom and Mordor far off. As soon as he took his first step out of the rocks, he immediately felt they'd made a dire mistake.

"It's a bog!" he cried, stepping out of the soft ground, "He's led us into a swamp!"

"Of course, the Dead Marshes," said Hermione, who had just pulled out her book. "Just where Aragorn was going to lead us!"

"Yes miss, yes!" said Gollum, nodding. He led them through a path, babbling about how he had found it, when no one else had, including nearby orcs. Hermione was relieved to hear that.

But after a few days of nothing but walking through the eerily quiet marshes, with swirling white fog surrounding them, the three companions were starting to feel anxious. Gollum would always sit away from them when they stopped to rest, muttering to himself. Sam did not discourage him from this habit, but Hermione was worried about the creature. She felt that if he had a friend, Gollum might open up to them more.

So one afternoon, after Frodo had tried sharing some lembas with Gollum, which he refused, he hated elvish food, Hermione wandered after him.

Gollum saw her coming. "What does the girl want with us precious?" he muttered, "Why does she follow us like this? We isn't bothering her precious, oh no, what does she want with us?"

"I don't want to bother you Gollum," said Hermione, "I just wanted to talk." She approached him cautiously, remembering how Kreacher reacted to her, and tried to make herself look as friendly as possible.

"What does you want to talk to us for, miss?" he asked suspiciously.

"Gollum, I'm not going to hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of me, or the others."

"The fat hobbit hates us!"

"You mean Sam hates you," corrected Hermione, "If you call Sam fat, he will hate you. But he just needs some time to get used to you, that's all. He won't hurt you anymore, I promise. But why do you always refer to yourself as us? You're one person, not two."

Gollum stared at her. He had never considered it before. He had just accepted that he had a dual personality; he never questioned how he got that way. "We has always been that way miss. Ever since we found the Precious."

"You mean the Ring?"

"Yes miss. Gollum, gollum," he coughed.

"So that's where he got his name," she murmured to herself. A thought struck her. "What's your real name Gollum?" she asked, "You must've had one before you had the Ring."

Gollum thought for a long time. "We can't remember," he said finally.

"Well, think about it. Don't give up yet!" she said as cheerfully as possible. But then Frodo and Sam came up to them.

"We're ready to leave now," said Sam, glaring at Gollum.

"Sam, be nice," hissed Hermione.

Sam sighed. "I'll do my best," he muttered.

Gollum led them on through the Marshes. Within a few hours, Hermione realized how it had gotten its name.

There were dead faces staring up at them in the water. They were the faces of Elves and Men. Hermione caught her breath as she realized: these must've been the people who died in the Last Alliance! She started looking around eagerly for familiar faces, and nearly fell in the water as she leaned in to look at one.

"Careful miss!" called Gollum, pulling her away, "Come quickly. Don't follow the lights." Hermione obeyed, now staring uneasily at the little flames lit all over the Marshes.

Frodo wasn't listening to any of this. Hermione turned around in time to see him walking along a separate path and leaning in. Then he fell in!

Hermione screamed and started running towards him, crying, "Frodo! Frodo!"

Gollum saw one of the few people who'd shown him any in kindness in distress, and decided he had to help. Besides, he'd sworn to help the nicer hobbit who had fallen in. And that's what he did.

Hermione and Sam nearly cried with relief as they saw Gollum drag a gasping, soaked Frodo out of the water. "Don't follow the lights!" he scolded, before hopping back onto the path.

Sam rushed to Frodo's side, while Hermione walked over to Gollum. "That was a noble thing you just did," she said quietly.

"We swore to serve the Master, so we are miss," said Gollum, "That's all." And he continued to hop away.

The next morning Hermione awoke to the sound of wild shrieking. It was so unearthly; it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand. "What is that?" she cried.

"Black Riders!" yelled Sam.

"Hide! Hide!" Gollum was crying, pointing towards some low trees.

Hermione turned and saw Sam helping Frodo, who was moaning in pain and clutching his old shoulder wound. Oh I wish we'd brought some athelas with us! she thought miserably, That might've helped him!

Gollum was panicking now, frantically trying to get them all under the trees. A moment later, they saw why.

It was a Ringwraith. But instead of riding horses, this one was on a winged steed. It shrieked again and flew over their hiding place, but did not discover the Ring. Instead it flew back to Mordor.

"Hurry hobbits, miss," said Gollum, "The Black Gate is very close."

Well, that's very comforting, thought Hermione fearfully.


"1 BOTTLE OF BEER ON THE WALL; 1 BOTTLE OF BEEEEEEERRRRRR! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND, NO MORE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!"

The Uruk-hai couldn't help but cheer. Finally, that annoying song was over!

"Aw, do you hear that guys?" asked Fred, pretending to cry.

"I sure do," said George, "They love our singing!"

"Well, I'd hate to disappoint an eager audience," said Merry, "Let's sing it again!"

"NO!" screamed the Uruks.

Too late.

"99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL; 99 BOTTLES OF BEEEEERRRRRR…."

"Halt!" yelled Ugluk. The Uruk-hai slowed. A few orc scouts came out from behind a rock, and for once, the Fearsome Foursome actually stopped singing to see if they could catch what the enemy was planning.

They had now been running for three days since they'd left Amon Hen. There was still no sign that anyone was coming for them, but the friends refused to give up hope. Now they were in a rocky valley somewhere in Rohan, drawing ever closer to Isengard.

The orcs and Ugluk were having a fiery debate. Ugluk made sure that this group, lead by Grimnashk, would obey his orders, and no one else's. The orcs didn't like this at all, and were even trying to hide their amusement at the fact that the mighty Uruk-hai couldn't even control their prisoners.

This was all good news for Fred, George, Merry, and Pippin. And it was about to get better. Ugluk sniffed the air. "What is it? What do you smell?" asked his lieutenant.

"Man-flesh," replied Ugluk, "They've picked up our trail!"

"They've probably had your trail, you morons, and you probably never even realized it," yelled Fred, who was overjoyed to hear the proof of something he'd know all along: Harry & Co. had decided not to abandon them!

Ugluk snarled but didn't dare retaliate in case they started singing in elvish. Instead he urged his troops on. In the confusion, no one noticed as Pippin took his elven brooch in his teeth and broke it off, letting it fall to the ground.

Finally the Uruks decided to take a break that night. They were exhausted, and couldn't keep running forever. So they stopped at the edge of Fangorn Forest and flung the boys on the ground, where they lay, trying to decide what to do.

"This would be the perfect time to escape," muttered Merry.

"How are we supposed to do that? They could turn around at any moment and see us crawling away," whispered Pippin.

"We don't have to cra…" George was interrupted by a low groaning noise. "What's that?" he asked.

"It's the trees," said Merry, trying to sit up and stare at the orcs, who were chopping down trees to make a fire.

"The what?" asked Fred.

"The trees," replied Merry, "Folk in the Shire used to say there was something in the woods nearby that made the trees grow tall and come alive!"

"The trees are alive!" asked George.

"What exactly do they do?" gulped Fred.

"I heard they talk and move!" said Merry.

There was an even louder groan now.

"Uh, I don't think they like the orcs here," said Fred.

"I don't like the orcs here," said Pippin, "How're we going to escape?"

"Easy," said George, "Fred and I are experts at escaping. We have a few tricks up our sleeves."

"Like what?" asked Pippin, but he was interrupted at the sound of the Uruk-hai arguing.

"They are not for eating!" shouted Ugluk.

"That can't be good," muttered Fred.

He was right. A pair of orcs seized Merry and Pippin and dragged them over.

"George, quick! We gotta do something!" hissed Fred.

"I'm trying," muttered George. Both twins had learned little tricks of their own, including how to untie yourself from even the tightest knots. Soon they were both free, and George started digging around in his pockets.

"Hurry up!" said Fred, a little louder than was necessary.

"I can't find it!"

"You what! You said you knew exactly where it was!"

"Well maybe you have it!"

Fred started frantically searching his own pockets as George watched in horror as one of the orcs, Nareik, pulled out a knife and crept behind the hobbits. "Just a mouthful," he muttered, "A bit off the flank!"

"LOOK OUT!" yelled George.

Ugluk turned around just in time. He roared, swung his sword, and a headless orc fell behind Merry and Pippin.

"Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!" he yelled.

The orcs roared and pushed Merry and Pippin aside. George caught them. "Come on, let's go!" he whispered, herding them towards the forest. They hadn't gotten far when Grimnashk came up from behind and pushed them all down.

"Go on," he snarled, pulling out a knife, "Call for help. No one's gonna save you now!"

"Ah here it is!" called Fred, pulling out a pouch from his pocket. "George? Where'd you go?" Then he saw Grimnashk leaning over his friends. "Time to use a special gift," he muttered, and flung a little of the fire powder Galadriel had given him on the orc.

The explosion was so huge; it knocked over everyone in the campsite. As the Uruks stumbled, trying to get up, an army of theRiders of Rohan seized their chance and galloped into the clearing. Brandishing their swords, yelling fierce war-cries, they rode in and clashed with monsters.

"Fred!" yelled George. Panicking, he realized the battle made him lose sight of his brother. He ran, ducking and dodging the warriors, who took no notice of him. Finally he found his twin rolling around on the ground, dodging the trampling horses.

"Fred! George! Over here!" screamed Pippin. The twins raced after the hobbits into the deep darkness of the forest. Before entering however, Fred looked back. He could've sworn he heard someone call his name in almost confusion and fear. But he shook it off and continued running.

For hours the group headed deeper and deeper in the dark quietness of Fangorn. Finally Merry suggested they take a break. "Let's just rest by this tree," he said. The others agreed and settled down for the night.

"Where are we going to go?" muttered Pippin sleepily.

"I say tomorrow we try leaving the forest and heading in the direction of Harry and Aragorn," replied Fred.

"Sounds good," said Merry.

George yawned and closed his eyes. The next thing he knew, he was rising in the air!

What the…he thought, opened his eyes, and screamed.

The tree had picked him up and was staring at him with huge green eyes. George wildly looked around and saw that the tree was holding Merry, Pippin, and Fred too. It stared at them for a long time before growling, "Little orcs!"

"No, I guess you could say we're Men," stuttered Fred.

"Men?" said the tree, looking confused. He held up the hobbits. "You two are too small to be Men."

"We're hobbits!" said Merry.

"Don't talk to the tree Merry," said Pippin, looking like he thought they were all insane.

"Tree? I am no tree! I am an Ent!"

"Whatever. You're a tree," muttered Fred.

"Treebeard some call me," said the Ent.

"That's nice. Now could you put us down?" asked George.

But Treebeard started walking through the forest, growling about how he hated orcs.

"Please," begged Merry, "We're not orcs! We're hobbits!"

"Maybe you are and maybe you aren't. The White Wizard will know!"

"The White Wizard?" asked Pippin.

"Saruman," whispered Merry.

"Oh great…" groaned Fred.

Suddenly Treebeard dropped the four friends to the ground. Looking up, they saw a figure standing before them, clothed in white. He had a long white beard and seemed to glow as they stared at him in shock.

"No way…" whispered Fred.

A/N: Well that was fast! Did you like it? Sorry there's no Harry in here, the next chapter is all about him. The Two Towers section will run like that sometimes. And btw, the name Nareik for the one orcis not from the books or movies, I stole that one from my brother. Just a little random fact for those who were wondering.

To my reviewers:

Eclipse: Hehe, may I borrow one of the flags? Yeah, I loved coming up with the elvish bit, and you're right about the Uruks, though they could be considered the new and improved orcs, they are no match for "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"!

Genvessel: Well, I love the Two Towers, and I really don't know why. I guess it's because I love Rohan so much! BTW I borrowed the "Fearsome Foursome" from you because I loved it so much, hope you don't mind! Yup, Hermione's "SPEW instincts" are shining when she's around Gollum, but will she see anything bad about him in RotK, that's the question!

Infallallthingsaremadesplendid: Yeah, that's definitely where Hermione belongs. You're bringing something new? Oh boy, I can't wait for the next party!

Yanzen Uroloki: Oops, sorry! lol I had it stuck in my head while writing it, but it's all gone now! Just don't think about it!

Justx4xfun: Glad you liked it! I will keep it up as best I can!

Lanhar: Yeah, I have no idea where I came up with that! I just love the song and I knew the Uruks would hate it, so I had the twins sing it! Such fun!

Darknesscomes: It will be an interesting ending, that much I can tell you!

Sauron the Destroyer: Goodie! You loved it! The key word there is "almost". Not sure about the Ent Draught yet, some parts I'm still planning out, and some I know exactly what I'm going to do.