Disclaimers: Not mine, but Jacskson and Jefferson

Author's note: Howdy everybody. Well this is the last chapter I will leave you with before I go on my vacation, I already have two and a half other chapter written for when I return. This story is a little angsty, (which spellcheck is telling me is not a real word) different from the first two chapters. There are still some funny parts, but it has serious overtones. When I come back, I'll bring the funny. To be honest I just didn't think it would be realistic to have Donna leave her old life with so much unfinished business. I wanted to stay sort of true to the show, a blend of comedy and drama. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for all the feedback. I was in a rush when I uploaded this, when I come back I might make changes to it.


Fresh starts are rarely just that. New lives can not really be new, not when old lives still linger. Time and space does play a part into the death of an old life, but the truth is an old life is never dead, its in a coma. Appearing dead, but secretly alive. Most of the staffers left their old lives behind when they started on the Barlett for America campaign. But old lives have a way of waking from comas and haunting the staff, if only briefly.

CJ was once daddy's little girl but her father's memories was failing and shared childhood images were turning into sand and were slipping through fingers. Josh's long deceased family members haunted him late at night when he was alone in is his office. Sam's failed romance was a shame he held on to, if only as a reminder he once loved. Toby's lack of communication with his family was unsurprising, his old life never seemed to wake from its coma.

Donna, however, is a different story. Her old life wasn't that distant, in time. She had unfinished business with her old life before it could fall into a coma like everyone else. She looked forward to that day when she could close the door and walk away forever. She knew it wasn't today. After all she didn't have Baxter.

Donna hand covered her mouth as she ran down the hallway. Three months of working at the White House, she knew the way to the bathroom, therefore her blurry eyes didn't affect her travels.

Josh and Sam had been hovering over Ginger's desk when Donna had past by. Josh wanted to run after her, he called out her name, but she didn't respond and he didn't move.

"Ginger, what's wrong with Donna?" Everyone knew if you had a question to ask the assistants. They knew everything.

"I am not telling you, she doesn't want anyone to know."

"But you know."

"Of course, I know. I know everything, Sam." But Ginger wasn't about to tell, she had no intentions of telling, until she saw Josh's face. She had never seen him look concerned, soft and caring at once.

"What happened to Donna?" His voice was quiet.

"Its no big deal, it's just her cat."

"Donna has a cat?"

"No, that's the problem, her ex has the cat, and she told him he could keep everything in the apartment as long as she got Baxter. But he refuses to give it up. Donna's been fighting with this guy for three months."

"Why didn't she tell us?" Josh appeared to be hurt by this.

"I guess because she didn't want you thinking she couldn't handle her life. You guys are going to be late for senior staff."

On the walk over, Sam asked CJ if she had known about Baxter, she did, but didn't know how to approach the situation. Sam filled Toby in on the situation too. Toby's great insight was, "well maybe the cat's dead and that's why he isn't giving it back."

But in Josh's mind it was the whole giving your last ten dollars to two homeless guys again. She gave up everything for a cat.

They all enter the oval office, Sam talked about an EPA report, Toby talked about a Bill, CJ mentions a comment made by the First Lady that might if taken out of context could be bad. Josh really wasn't paying attention to any of it. Who would give up everything they own for a cat? Who does that sort of thing? Well Donna of course.

Mandy was the only one who brought up something interesting at that meeting, "There is a boy scout troop in Madison Wisconsin who raised $50,000 for AIDS research. They are having a big celebration in two days. Maybe you could give them a call, Mr. President."

Josh's eyes lit up and he found himself standing, "You should go to that!" Everyone stared at him. But Toby was the next to join in the rally.

"Yes, those boy scouts worked hard and they deserve some form of recognition."

Then CJ picked up the clue, "Yes, since we are going to be in Madison…"

Sam stood and bellowed, "A rescue mission!"

Mandy screamed, "What the hell are you people talking about?"

Sam clapped his hands, "We will be like Navy Seals but in suits and not as cool."

The president stood up and repeated Mandy's question, which CJ gave a complete explanation of the scenario.

"So you want to use government money, and Air Force One to go rescue a cat?" Mandy hissed in response.

"Yes." The four said in unison.

The President gave a knowing glance to Leo, "fine we're going." They were like five year olds who just got ice cream. Sam ran into the hallway and told Charlie to start making the plans. When Zoey heard the whole thing, she wanted in. After all if you bring the daughter of the President, you would have to get Secret Service. She had one stipulation; it had to be a surprise. Neither Toby nor Josh liked this idea, she would be going back into the lions den; she needed to be prepared. But Sam, CJ and Zoey made the argument that if Donna knew, she might want to back out.

Later in the day, Josh needed to catch the President up on some education bill, he was working on he questioned why the most important man in America agreed to go on this trip. The President replied like an ancient mystic, "That's not the question you want an answer to."

Josh sighed and stated the real question that had been plaguing his mind for the entire day, "Who gives up all the material possession for a cat? Would you do that, sir?"

"Let me tell you a story. When Elizabeth first married that idiot she calls a husband, they bought a puppy. Abby and I went over to their house every weekend to watch and play with this golden lab, Scruffy. Well, when my first grandchild was born we repeated the same process. Four years ago when Scruffy was diagnosed with cancer and was put down, Liz sobbed, her idiot husband sobbed, Abby, sobbed and so did I. We lost a child that day. So you are asking the wrong question, Josh. Who would give up all the possessions for their child? I would, in a spilt second. Have a good night." Josh left the Oval office, not really feeling satisfied with his answer. After all, it was still just a cat? Right?

Ron Butterfeild called together his troops, "Listen Bookbag wants to go to Wisconsin to go save someone cat, we need some volunteers."

"Whose cat?"

"Donna Moss, she works for CJ Cregg."

"Blond Cookie Girl!" Jackson and Jefferson's hands shot up at once. The volunteers had been chosen.

"Why do you guys keep telling to me to look at the M&M's whenever I ask where we are going?" Donna stared at her friends with skepticism.

"Because you love the M&M's." Sam smiled.

"I do, but don't you think it's weird?"

Josh had spent most of the trip in silences, a watchful eye constantly on Donna. Toby was the one to break the silence. "We are going to Wisconsin, some boy scout troop raised…"

"$50,000, I know I gave them some money." She was beaming with pride. Josh wondered how long her happiness would last.

She didn't question much else until the SUV pulled detoured from its path. "Where are we going?"

Sam was the one to break the final piece of news, "We're going to save Baxter and get the rest of your stuff."

Donna's already pale face seemed to get whiter. "Now?" She looked at her watch.

"Yeah." Sam smiled as he gave the details of the plan. Josh knew she wasn't paying attention. She would nod, but her eyes on the road and her legs started to tap. When they pulled up to the apartment complex, two more SUVs pulled up, Zoey and the secret service came out. The final SUV was empty, for Donnas stuff. She walked into the building, with her allies behind her. Josh grabbed Sam before they went in.

"If anything goes wrong I am going to kick your ass," Josh grumbled. Sam couldn't see why it would be.

The first thing that hit Donna when she walked into the complex was the smell, stale and moldy. When she first moved in that smell made her stomach churn, eventually it became the smell of home. In reality, the smell fit her home perfectly. She walked up the stairs, not surprised that the paint was still peeling from the doors. Why had she lived here? Right, walk in closets, washing and dryer in the each apartment, dishwasher and the bay window.

She inhaled, sure there were other people behind her, but she was lost in her memories. Her hand quivered a little when she reached her old door.

"Do you want to me to shoot the door in?" Asked the overzealous Jefferson.

"Why don't I try my key first?" The key went in, click. She opened the door, and the past six years hit her in the face. Her eyes widened. "Everything's the same." The apartment was bright, perfectly intact from when she left, even her grandmother blanket was folded neatly on the couch as it had always been. Three months and it was like she never left. She sighed. "Start with the books." Donna pointed to the bookshelf. "Everything that isn't Dan Brown or John Grishim or unread Stephen King books is mine."

"I'll go into the bedroom and start on your clothes," CJ lead, Zoey followed.

"OH MY GOD! Donna, do you know what this is?" Toby's hands were shaking Sam huddled behind him. "It's a first edition of Catcher in the Rye, SIGNED!"

"Don't touch it!" Sam screeched, "The oils in your hand will damage it." He took off his jacket to wrap the book. Donna couldn't help but smile.

"The whole collection was my Grandpa's, he left it to me since I was the only one he thought was literate." Toby and Sam's eyes gazed over to the rest of the shelf. Lord of the Flies, Of Mice and Men, 1984, Clockwork Orange, Brave New World, Something Wicked this Way Comes, Slaughter House Five, and the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy, all signed by the authors, all first editions. Tiny tears filled the speech writers' eyes.

A scream came from the bedroom, then CJ voice, "No, just keep doing what you are doing. But honey it you are going to fake it, you need to sell it better."

Donna froze, she just listened.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?" Kevin, he's home and he isn't alone. Donna swallowed the vomit that had made it's up her throat.

"Just getting Donna's clothes." Zoey replied causally.

"Donna's here!" She heard scurrying and fumbling.

Josh was by her side, he rubbed her arms. "We can leave, if you want. You can come back when he isn't here."

She shook her head, "No keep packing, you can get the movies, anything that isn't a cheesy horror, sports flick, or immature comedy is mine. Oh and Leon the Professional, that one is mine too." She pointed to the DVD and video rack near the TV. Josh did as he was instructed.

Kevin came out of the bedroom, shirtless, wide eyed, and even Josh had to admit, he was a good looking guy. Donna's ex had dusty blond hair, tanned, (although Josh questioned how he was tanned in November and in Wisconsin) and well built. Josh instantly disliked Kevin.

"Donna, what are you doing here?" The half naked man inquired.

She went into ice princess mood, short sentence, glaring eyes, and ever so often a evil smile. "I am getting my things and picking up Baxter."

"Why?"

Sam filled in the rest of the information, because honestly, Donna didn't know why she was here. "You had an oral contract with Ms. Moss and you breeched that contract, as her lawyer I am advising her to take all that rightful belongs to her."

Kevin tilled his head and gazed deep into Donna's eyes, he was giving her "The Sexy Look," it made her weak and he knew it. He ran his fingers up and down her arms, pushed back her hair and whispered, "Awe come on baby, you really don't want to do this. Just stay. Come home, baby, you know you want to."

Donna's ice princess glare softened, she found her whole body loosen. Josh watched every motion intently. She had loved this man, she stayed with him for years and there had to be a reason. Josh felt his stomach drop. "Oh, Kevin," her voice low and husky. "Not a chance in hell." She glanced past her former love and yelled to Jackson in the kitchen, "Don't forget the blue plates in the left cabinet."

Kevin's face turned to rage, as Donna broke his grip. He didn't have a lot of time to act, since his lady friend came out of the bedroom wearing only a bra and underwear.

Ice princess was back, "She isn't even the same girl, Kevin!"

The other woman spoke, "You said Donna was dead."

"DEAD!" The not so dead woman yelled.

"I had to come up with a reason why you didn't come home." Kevin spat back.

"So you told people I was dead!" Kevin was unaffected by his ex's screams and shrugged. Donna turned her attention back to the woman, "You know you should get tested… Oh my god! You're wearing my underwear."

"EW, that's just dirty!." Zoey said with disgust, holding some shirts up for Donna's approval.

All the men, who were desperately trying not to look at the nearly naked brunet, now broke down and stared. Toby asked the question that was on everyone's mind, "How do you know it's yours?"

"Because it has my name on it." Donna was far to pissed off to react embarrassed by the situation. Josh wanted to giggle and made a mental note of questioning her about this little quirk later.

"You should let her keep it, it looks better on her anyway." Bitterly remarked Kevin who sat down on the couch. Jefferson walked past him holding a box of books and elbowed the half naked man in the chest.

"Sorry about that, my elbow slipped right into your chest there. My bad." Jefferson nodded at Donna. Kevin clenched over and CJ told the other woman it would be best if she left.

With every box that was packed, Donna's self confidence grew. "Where are the pictures, Kevin?"

"In the shoebox."

"Not those pictures." Her voice was stern, as if she spoke in a code that only the two former lovers would know. However, the code was easily broken. Everyone, Staffers, daughter and secret service stopped what they were doing. Kevin got up to retrieve the photos in question. Donna's life just got a whole lot more interesting. However this did add a new level of concern.

"Um, there aren't negatives are there?" Sam swallowed.

"No, they were Polaroid's." Kevin handed her a watch box and she started to thumb through them. Zoey leaned in to check them out.

"They're so classy. I love the one with the black bra." Zoey's eyes were wide.

"Yeah, that's my favorite too," Small twinges of pride creped throw her smile, which quickly fell. "One's missing."

Once again the room stopped. "You sure?" Kevin asked.

"Yes I was there, I know. Number 68 is missing." Josh's eyebrows went up, she had numbered them, and there were over 68 pictures. He looked over the room, every man was thinking the same thing he was.

A new horror entered his brain. "Donna, how long has he had the scanner?" Josh tried very hard not to let his voice betray the terror he was felling.

"About a year, but he doesn't know how to use it." Donna answered, with the pictures now in Zoey's hands. Jackson stopped packing the plates and ran over to the computer on the far side of the living room. He immediately started to search the computer's hard drive for JPEG files. Donna kept yelling at Kevin to find the missing picture, so either she didn't notice Jackson's actions or that she was ignoring it. Most likely she was ignoring it, having someone search a hard drive for her most inmate moments wasn't something she would want to deal with.

The lost picture in question was found. It fell out of the watch box, it was nothing to risky, just a picture of the two former lovers smiling. The computer was clean too.

"Gee, I don't know why you are getting all bent out of shape over this; she didn't break the law or anything. This is nothing compare to the other skeletons in your closet, Donnatella."

"Shut-up Kevin." Donna growled, but it was too late, he had already set the trap and she walked into it.

"What are your new friends going to do when they learn the truth? Will the help you pack up your stuff in DC to come home?"

Donna knew what he was doing; she just needed faith in her friends. "When I was sixteen, I got high in my best friend's basement. I threw up twenty minutes later and I have never touched the stuff since."

Sam laughed, "Me too, but I was nineteen." Donna glared back at Kevin and continued her confession.

"I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Dodge Charger."

"Me too, not the Charger part, but I can still feel the door handle banding against my skull.." CJ smiled.

"That's not what I am talking about, tell them about the pills." A cat smile on Kevin's face.

"I was on antidepressants for two years, I've been off of them for four."

"Ok, half of DC is on them." Toby shrugged.

"Tell them why you were on them, Donna." This was a dangerous move, he expected her to crack and break, forced to say with him and her shame.

Donna flashed him a look of venom before turning to the rest of the crowd. Her voice was cool and even, "My freshmen year of college I went to a frat party, where I was slipped a date rape drug in a beer. The events followed as expected." She didn't need to say any more.

Josh hands clenched up, his knuckles were white. Blood drained from staffer's faces, and no one moved for a minute. Finally, Jackson spoke, "Is he in jail?" Donna nodded.

"Just one more ass we have to kick when he gets out." Jefferson shrugged.

The reaction was not as Kevin expected. He put his head in his heads and stared at the floor.

"Where's Baxter?" Donna demanded.

"How the hell should I know?"

"You played your hand and you lost. Where's Baxter?" Josh voice was harsh reality Kevin didn't want to hear.

"He's in the linen closet." Zoey returned with a ball of fur. Baxter wasn't the huge monster cat Josh had pictured in his mind, he was a kitten. Donna carefully picked the grey coated, grey eye animal, Josh had never seen a smile as pure and bright before. His heart broke when the smile faded.

"Baxter you lost your kitten fuzz." Tiny tears formed in her eyes. She turned to Kevin, who was still staring at the floor, "Did you take any pictures?"

"No."

Donna held Baxter to her chest, the pain of losing three months with him was almost too much. She was going to break soon, but was couldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing it.

CJ got the rest of Baxter's stuff and the final box was taped up. "I got what I came here for, goodbye Kevin." Donna managed to say with very little bitterness and hurt.

Kevin looked up only to see the woman who should have been his wife, should have been the mother of his children walk out of their home and his life forever. He stared at the door, lost in his self pity, it was only when he heard the carpet move and a felt a presence that he looked in front of him.

In a low deep snarl Josh whispered, "If you ever come near her again, I will crush you."

Zoey rode with Jackson and Jefferson. CJ and Donna rode with them, the flood had already started as Jackson helped Donna into the SUV. Josh, Toby, and Sam rode in the other one. CJ was the last to get in and Josh tossed her the small can of cat food he had in his pocket he bought the night before.

When the men had settled into the car, Josh punched Sam in the arm.

"What the hell was that far?"

"What the hell do you think?"

"I'll admit it could have gone better."

"Ya think? He was screwing some other woman, told everyone she was dead and he forced her to confess her darkest moments. How the hell could it have gone worse?"

"The cat could have been dead." Toby shrugged.

"Damn it the cat wasn't going to be dead, how else would he ever see her again?" Josh hissed and stared out the window.

They rode in silence. "He didn't sell her books and the apartment was exactly as she left it. That has to mean something." Sam muttered.

"It means he was expecting her to come home and stay." Josh answered back.

On Air force One Baxter was the talk of the plane. Sam's arm stung more when he saw Donna's bloodshot eyes.

Josh sat at the far end of the plane, he had no idea what to say to her or had to act. He pulled a file from his backpack and tried to read it, mostly he watched her.

People came over to Donna, she smiled and spoke to them, but most of her attention was on her furry child. It wasn't until the President came back to speak to her, she drew her attention from Baxter.

His words were brief but she took them to heart, "Donnatella, you are family now, don't wait three months before you ask for help."

Then he started to ask her about her books, was it really true she had first editions signed? She nodded and told him she did have a problem, her apartment wasn't really in a safe neighborhood and maybe she could keep them in the safest building in the country. The President beamed and told her they were safe in his care.

Later Toby and Sam asked her about the books, she detailed all the events of getting each book and the signature. While they flew over Ohio Donna started to sing a little song to Baxter along the tune of Rubber Ducky. She fed him bits of food that Josh had supplied, she stroked his chin and sometimes she made him dance. Josh couldn't help but smile at this public display of unconditional love.

"Have you ever seen anything so ridiculous in all our life? The way she is fawning over that thing?" Cobra Mandy hissed and stuck with low chuckles.

"What to care about something that isn't yourself?" Josh bit back.

"Josh, I was just trying to…"

"I know exactly what you were trying to do." Josh left his seat and wondered around the plane for a while.

When they passed over Philly, he finally worked up enough nerve to speak to her, "Hi."

"Hi." She scooted over so he could join her.

"Baxter has an appointment tomorrow morning with a vet in your neighborhood. I talked to CJ and she said it was fine if you came in late." Josh sat down, his eyes on the kitten, for some reason he really couldn't bare to look at her in the face.

"Thanks."

The air between their bodies was tense. He wanted to say he was sorry and it should have never been a surprise, at least she could have been prepared. He wanted to say no one should treat her like that, not someone who once loved her. He wanted to tell her how much he hated Kevin and that he had threatened him. He wanted to admit his deepest sorrow she had to confess her life's hardest moments publicly. There were a thousand things he wanted to say to her, but as a common condition occurred, he couldn't speak.

Instead, she spoke, "I need you to do me a favor, Josh."

"Anything."

"Please don't ever give me The Look. The Donna Was A Victim Look. Five weeks ago, Danny gave me The Look before entering CJ's office, when he left, she gave me The Look too. Sam will give me The Look for a while, because he cares and doesn't know any better. Toby won't give me The Look because he cares and does know better. I spent years trying to escape The Look and when I thought I had a fresh start, it cropped back in. I've dealt with my demons and licked my scars but I can't even pretend it doesn't shred me up inside when people I respect pity me. But I can think of no torture worse then if you gave me The Look."

Most of the time, when he would talk to Donna, the words never reflected his true emotions. This time they did, "I don't think anyone could make you a victim." He paused and changed the subject. "What is a day like for dear Baxter?"

Donna brightened, "Well, when he isn't sleeping or eating he spends most of his day attacking monsters."

"Monsters?"

"Yes, there is the blanket monster, he lives near my toes and only comes out when I wiggle them under the blanket. Then there is the vacuum cleaner monster, Bax doesn't like him one bit, he's too loud. But his favorite monster is the flash light monster." Josh smiled his hand reached out to pet the cat but it stopped and drew back. "Do you want to pet him?"

The hand that was outstretched a second ago was now scratching the back of his neck. "Um, I haven't petted a cat in a while." She questioned him with her eyes. "Um, Joanie had a cat, but it died in the fire." Normally Donna would pull away and not ask any questions, but today she needed more.

"What was its name?"

Josh sighed and rolled his eyes, "Mr. Fuffykins the fourth." Donna giggled "Look I don't know what happened to the other three Mr. Fuffykins but I did know at the prime age of five that it was a stupid name." Josh found himself petting kitten while he was talking. He was taken back by the soft texture of his fur.

They continued to chat until the plane started to make its approach. When she knew all eyes were otherwise occupied, Donna leaned in a kissed Josh on the cheek. She didn't know what his reaction would be. She was sure she didn't want to look. She whispered in his ear, "Thank you, Joshua."

In a low barely audible tone, he answered back, "Anytime, Donnatella."