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Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans so lets not try and sue me since I don't have anything to sue for.
Finding Hope Again
Chapter 2
By: Finalitylife
I simply stared at him as he slowly rose to his feet. As he stood to his full height, it was increasingly clear just how much he had grown. Robin or Nightwing as he said he was now called was at least 6 feet tall. When he left he was only an inch taller than my 5 foot 4 inch height and I hadn't grown at all over the last five years in height. There were so many questions running threw my head at the moment but all I could do was stare at his imposing figure as I lied in bed still. He wasn't looking at me but it seemed like he wasn't looking at anything as he stared off into nothingness. I finally found my voice but it came out quiet and a little nervous sounding.
"What are you doing here? What are you doing in my room?" Somehow I could tell that his eyes shifted to my form though his face showed no emotion. His voice was monotone, much like mine used to be when I still had to control my emotions.
"I don't know exactly. I think I just needed to feel human again for a little while." Despite his seemingly lack of emotion, Nightwing was emitting the smallest amounts of emotion that I was picking up with my empath abilities. He was still so cold, so sad, so haunted. The warmth I had felt from him earlier seemed to be gone. I guess he closed himself off again, blocked off his humanity. A small silence passed between us then another important question came to my mind.
"How did you get in here? You've been gone for five years and Cyborg's security system is absolutely perfect." He remained silent for a little bit but then finally answered.
"When I came back about two years ago, Cyborg gave me a special code to allow me access to the tower and you've never changed your security code for your door." I felt my heart stop for a second. He came back and didn't come to see me? Cyborg knew and never told me? I felt sad, betrayed at this news.
"Why did you come back then?" I wanted to scream at him for not coming to see me but I figured it would be better if I didn't push anything right now. A strange look passed his face at this question.
"I needed him to give me a hand."
"With what? Why couldn't you come to me? I would have helped you." My voice came out a little strained and I yelled at myself mentally for sounding weak in front of him after so long. An unsettling smile came to his face which unnerved me slightly.
"You don't understand Raven. I needed him to give me a hand, literally." I watched as he pulled off one of his black gloves and I let out a slight gasp at seeing what was underneath.
I recognized what it was immediately because it was the same exact technology that made up Cyborg. A gray and blue metal hand glowed slightly in the dim light of my room. I don't know why but something inside me compelled me to get up and approach him. I felt very small standing next to his dark figure.
I tentatively placed my hands on his arm and he instantly flinched. I looked up at him, trying to convey trust and warmth threw my eyes. It seemed to work because he visibly relaxed though his face was still tense. I felt his right arm, felling strong muscle underneath until I reached his wrist. That was when his arm turned cold, hard, metal. Its feel really didn't unnerve me because I had hugged Cyborg enough in my life to be used to something like that.
"How did this happen?" My voice was soft and gentle, a tone I only used for very few people. Again I felt his body tense up and I could tell he was gritting his teeth.
"It was the nightmare that never goes away. It was the monster who has devoted his entire existence to hurting us, to hurting me."
I closed my eyes as I knew exactly who he was talking about. The one man, if you could even call him a man, who managed to equal my father in hurting our lives, Slade. I honestly could say I hadn't thought about him in a long time. I made a conscious effort to never think of him. I always hoped that he was dead though I knew in the darkest parts of my mind that as long as we lived, he would find a way to continue to exist. Again, I don't know why I did it but I felt compelled to wrap my arms around Nightwing in a tight hug. He did not return the embrace but I did not care.
"Why won't he leave you alone? Haven't you suffered enough?" For the first time in a very long time, I felt some moisture form in the corner of my eyes.
"Where have you been Robin? Where have you been for so long?" I fought back the tears successfully but couldn't make myself let go of him.
"Robin died a long time ago Raven. He was too weak to survive." His voice was cold, filled with a quiet hatred of the boy he once was. I pushed away from him and looked him squarely in the face. I reached up and slapped him across the face. He didn't even flinch.
"Robin was not weak. Robin was a hero. Robin saved me when all I wanted to do was fade away, when all I was doing was fading away. Robin may have died but he was never weak." He showed no sign that he was even listening to me. Again the room was quiet until he spoke again.
"If you ever touch me like that again, I will hurt you Raven." His voice was low and caused me to shiver slightly. How could he say that to me? The person I knew would never threaten me? What had happened to him? I stared at him as he glared down at me. I eventually looked away, feeling uncomfortable underneath his gaze. Regardless though, I still had so many questions for him.
"Where have you been Nightwing? What made you like this?" I spat out the name Nightwing as if it was something dirty to say though he still showed no reaction. He turned away from me and once again stared off into nothingness.
"I left to find hope, a reason to carry on. Instead I found Slade or should I say he found me." I could hear the repressed rage in his voice. It frightened me a little bit.
"He still wanted his apprentice and believed I would finally be receptive to what he offered me. I resisted, even tried to kill him but in the end I was defeated. I spent two years under his mentorship as he liked to call it. The better words for it would be utter and complete torture, mentally and physically." The haunted feeling he emitted before returned even stronger and again I shivered from it.
"I'm so sorry." He turned around to look at me and I could feel the fire in his eyes.
"I do not want your pity. Save your pity for the weak Raven." I wrapped my arms around myself as he glared at me.
"Please continue Nightwing. I should't have interrupted you." He visibly relaxed again.
"My hatred toward him and my desire for revenge kept me going and eventually I managed to escape, but Slade would not give up on me so easily. He hunted me down relentlessly, eventually costing me my hand as punishment for my treachery. I still managed to escape again and came to the tower for help from Cyborg. After that I disappeared completely so that even Slade could not find me. I recovered. I trained. I became greater than I had every been. I used everything Slade had taught me to go beyond what I thought I was capable of and now I hunt him. Every waking moment I have is used to find him so that I can have my revenge."
I could hear the hatred in his voice as he finished talking. It truly had consumed him more than it had ever done before.
"What do you plan to do when you find him?" He chuckled darkly at my question.
"I know you are not that naïve Raven to not know what I intent to do. You always were the one who understood me best. I plan on killing him. I plan on ripping his heart from his chest and crushing it beneath my boot. I plan on sending him to hell where he belongs."
I stared at this person who went by the name of Nightwing and realized that I could not recognize the person who held me in my bed only a little while ago. I realized that this thing in front of me was more like Slade than I ever wanted to admit to myself. It looks like Slade finally succeeded in his ultimate goal.
"So you are willing to damn yourself for revenge. You are willing to kill someone, going against everything you once taught me."
"I told you, Robin is dead. He was not strong enough to do what was needed. He was not strong enough to protect his light so all that is left is darkness." I cringed at the sadness radiating off of him. I muttered one name.
"Starfire…" Even he seemed to not be able to look at me as I said our fallen friends name. It seemed as if he had talked enough as he started walking toward my door to leave. I panicked slightly and cried out.
"Where are you going? Please stay a little longer." He frightened me but I still couldn't let him go. I had waited for so long for him to come back and I couldn't let him leave like this, as he was.
"I must return to my mission. I have wasted enough time already." The door swished open in front of him revealing the dark hallway ahead of him. I tried one last thing, one last time to try and get threw to him.
"What would Starfire think of you if she saw you like this, a cold, ruthless murderer." I barely even registered what was going on before a black blur slammed into me pushing me up against the wall. Before I knew it, my arms were pinned above my head with just his metal right hand and his body was pressed tightly against my own, holding me to the wall. He was pushing so tightly against me that I had trouble breathing. I looked up with I'm sure fear visible in my eyes as he leaned down and put his mouth right next to my ear. I could feel his warmth breath and couldn't help but shiver at its feel.
"You know nothing of me Raven. It doesn't matter what Starfire thinks because she is gone forever and with her went the best parts of me. All that is left is Nightwing, all that is left is what you see in front of you." I felt myself shaking though I tried to control myself. Somehow I summoned the strength to speak.
"You are a liar. I know there is more than just Nightwing." I heard him growl.
"I've told you, Robin is dead."
"That's not what I'm talking about. Robin may be gone and Nightwing may be standing in front of me but there is still something else within you. You were someone before you were Robin, someone who was simply human and it was he would helped me endure my endless grief for Starfire. It was he who snuck into my room tonight to hold me, to feel human again for just a little while. It was he who felt warm rather than the cold I feel from you now. That person is still in there and that is the person that Starfire would be proud of."
Nightwing did not respond, did not move. He continued breathing into my ear, very, very slowly as whatever was going threw his head was processed. I suddenly felt his grip on my hands loosen as I felt my arms become free. He pulled back from me and stood up straight. He simply turned around and walked off out my door without saying a single word. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I felt one last thing from him as he left though it was only barely registered in my mind. It was regret and remorse. Exactly what those feeling were toward I did not know but it did give me a glimmer of hope for the man who was Nightwing.
