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Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans so lets not try and sue me since I don't have anything to sue for.

Finding Hope Again

Chapter 3

By: Finalitylife

A silent shadow crept out of the Titan's Tower making absolutely no sound. Even the deep sigh he released was perfectly quiet. He blended perfectly in with the darkness, inside and out. Though he appeared completely emotionless, his mind was brimming with so many questions. Why did he return here tonight? Why did he come back to Robin's past? Why did he go to see her?

He had returned once before to obtain a new right hand and had not gone to see her yet he had come into the tower out of nowhere, went into her room, and held her sleeping form in his arms just as he had done 5 years ago. He had talked with her, told her many things he had never spoken out loud before. He had frightened her, threatened her, maybe even hurt her a little and yet she still tried to reach out to him, to make him see some truth that he had forgotten long ago.

Nightwing knew that Raven always found a way to interfere with his thoughts. Memories of her would not drift away like so many others, like those of Starfire which he tried so hard to cling to but each one faded a little more each day in the darkness of himself. However, Raven's presence remained strong and in a way Nightwing knew why.

After Starfire's and Robin's death, a part of Nightwing had attached itself to the grieving young woman and did his best to comfort her. It was the only part of him that was still human. It was Richard Grayson. It was the part of him that had endured the death of his parents so long ago yet remained strong. It was the part of him that weathered Starfire's death and kept going. It was the part of him that kept him from falling completely into darkness when he was tortured by Slade for so very long yet Nightwing believed it to be his weakest part. Nightwing hated his humanity because it still felt, would not succumb to the cold like everything else in his life. It was his humanity that brought him back to Raven even when he did his best to resist.

She had known that. Raven had understood Robin and apparently she had found an understanding of Nightwing and of what brought him there tonight. She hadn't seen him in 5 years and seemed to have understood him better than he truly understood himself. It was an unnerving thought for the guarded Nightwing, that an almost stranger could see so much of him so easily. Nightwing inwardly cursed his humanity again for causing all this and all his humanity did was tell him that Raven had been right, Starfire would have been disappointed at what he had become.

Nightwing gritted his teeth and pushed what had become his conscience over time into the deeper parts of his mind yet he could not push away images of Raven. He couldn't get rid of how soft her skin had been, how beautiful her eyes had become when she looked at him warmly when she touched his arm. She had become a remarkably attractive woman though Nightwing worked to repress such thoughts. He had no time or use for her though a weaker part of him did. Just more weakness for Slade to prey upon.

Nightwing felt rage quickly build up inside him as he thought of his most hated enemy. He was the monster who made his life a living hell, he was the bastard who helped bring Trigon into this world inevitably costing an angel her life. He was the one who would pay for everything.

Again Raven's words cut into his mind, how Starfire would have looked down upon him if she saw what he had become. He had told Raven it didn't matter what Starfire would have thought because she was gone but he knew that was a lie. I would have mattered. He also knew that Raven's words mattered to and that made him angry. He had spent so long trying to become more than a man, more than Robin had ever been, and as Slade loved to tell him, emotions were irrelevant, caring was a weakness. Nightwing understood that as a truth and even Raven at one point had based her life on those words. However, Raven had changed over time and Richard Grayson would never give up what made him who he was.

Nightwing felt himself growl as again he thought of Slade. It was hard not to think of the man who had imprisoned him for well over a year, who had hunted him after his escape, who had cost him his hand, and now who Nightwing spent every moment consumed with hunting. Slade had done one good thing for Nightwing. He had taught him just what it took to be strong, to be powerful, to go beyond limitations. Slade's forced training along with his old training from Batman had made Nightwing into a powerful being, one who instilled terrible fear into all those he encountered which was very few indeed.

The only interaction Nightwing had with people was those people he interrogated to find a lead on Slade. Everytime Nightwing got close to Slade, he would find a way to vanish, forcing Nightwing to start over again. This was what actually brought him to Jump City. The last thug he had talked to told him that Slade was currently doing something in that region so Nightwing followed. He remembered he was searching threw the city when he encountered Starfire's memorial. He remembered stopping and just staring at it. He had never once been there, never once seen it. It was simple. It was a small garden that would have had bright, vibrant flowers had it not been the middle of winter and in the center was a small stone monument with an inscription on it.

In memory of Starfire. A bright shining light who helped keep the darkness away. She will be missed by all.

Next to the monument was a small tombstone, the final resting place of Silkie. Raven had been the one to help set all of this up. She had been the one to choose the flowers, all pink, and created the inscription. Nightwing knew that Robin had helped inspire that inscription. As he stood there, he remembered feeling so very numb, not even anger or rage was there. He had even forgot about Slade for just a few minutes. It was for that few minutes that he questioned his existence, just as he had all those months following Starfire's death.

He somehow found himself suddenly walking toward the tower, Robin's old home. He felt like he was in some type of daze as he used Cyborg's code he had given him to enter. He followed a path he hadn't walked in a very long time, right to Raven's room. He punched in the code that still worked after all this time and entered and just as he had done so many times long ago, he held her small frame in his arms.

However there were two thing different about this time. This time he wasn't holding her to make her feel better, he was holding her cause he needed to make himself simply feel and the other was that this time, he felt so warm, so very warm. Eventually, it all ended just as everything does and he found himself back in the cold where he belonged, where he needed to be, where he was strong yet her warmth still lingered at the edges of his sanity and he hated to say it, but it felt good.

Gritting his teeth again, he disappeared into the night. Had he not been distracted, had he not allowed his emotions to get the better of him, he might have noticed a single, gleaming eye staring at him the entire time with a knowing look. Slade laughed darkly to himself.

"Thank you my apprentice. Thank you for revealing just how weak you are." Slade to slowly vanished into the night.

Raven P.O.V

I finally pulled myself together after Nightwing had left. I grabbed my cloak from my closest and wrapped it around my body though I left my hood down. I glided toward Cyborg's room with a quiet anger inside me. How could he not tell me Robin had been here two years ago so badly hurt? How could he keep something like that from me when they were so close? I knocked rather loudly on his door, knowing I probably would have to wait a few seconds if he was hooked up to his machines. After about thirty seconds, the door slide open revealing Cyborg's towering frame. He looked just as he had five years ago though his face had matured greatly and he now wore a goatee.

"Hey little lady. What do I owe the pleasure of seeing you twice in one day?" I grimaced slightly at the thought. We really did rarely see each other as of late more than once a day. I looked deep into his one human eye.

"Why did you never tell me Robin came back here two years ago?" His eye widened significantly in shock at the question. He started fumbling with his response.

"I…I…have no idea what you're talking about Raven." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I know you are lying Victor." I only called him his real name when I was annoyed with him. He knew that.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because Robin came and visited me tonight." Somehow his eye grew even wider with this news.

"Robin was here? Why the hell was he here?" I noticed the concern and worry in Cyborg's voice.

"Well actually he calls himself Nightwing now but yes he was here. Why he was here is really none of your business right now. Now answer the question Victor. Why did you never tell me Robin was here two years ago?" Cyborg let out a defeated sigh.

"Alright. Two years ago he came to the tower. You weren't here. You were out buying some food. Robin actually told me he had waited for you to leave before he came to the tower which was incredibly foolish because he was in terrible shape. He was missing his right hand and had actually sealed the wound shut himself with fire. He also had a few other injuries, all courtesy of Slade. I hadn't seen him since he left all those years ago and he came for help though he never did ask for it. He more or less demanded that I replace his hand. I knew I couldn't say no to him. He will always be my friend despite him leaving. It took about a week for me to create him a hand and attach it to him." I felt my anger spike.

"He was here for a week and you hid it from me the entire time!" I saw Cyborg flinch back at my outburst.

"I'm sorry Raven but he made me promise that I wouldn't tell you or anyone of his presence or he would leave. I couldn't let him leave like he was so I kept my mouth shut. He even asked me to put up physic blockers where he was sleeping so you wouldn't be able to feel him here. I'm sorry Raven, I really am." I felt my anger subside.

"Its okay Cyborg. I understand that you were just trying to help him. I would have done the same thing had I been in your position." Cyborg gave me a weak smile which I returned.

"So how was he Raven?" I looked down as I thought.

"He's still fighting Slade and he's still fighting himself." That was all I said and Cyborg seemed to accept that though he did cringe at the sound of Slade's name. I know he wanted to ask why Robin or Nightwing as he was now came back again but he didn't. I don't think I would have answered anyways. What happened between me and Nightwing was private just as what had happened between me and Robin years ago remained between us only. Silence sat between us only to be ended by the sound of the alarm going off. We both looked at each other. I used my powers to quickly take us to the main room and the computer. Cyborg typed a few buttons trying to find out what was going on.

"Looks like theirs a disturbance somewhere near the edge of town. It doesn't really say exactly what it is but it seems like a break in. Usually the alarm doesn't go off for something so trivial so it must be something more." I quietly nodded behind him, with a terrible feeling of dread inside me. Why did this all feel so wrong to me?