Howdy, First of all let me address the lack of an inscription for Donna's book. I think it is a private moment between two characters and it should remain that way... Ok honestly I just don't think I am a good enough writer to do it justices. I mean if Sorkin didn't write it, why should I. Anyway this is just a quick little chapter, I wrote it after I wrote the next chapter. The events in the next chapter didn't seem to ring true to the character without some sort of bridge between the holiday chapter and The Night Visitor. So I wrote this one. Honestly not the best stuff but sets the mood and tone a little more.
This doesn't really have an episode connected to it.
Thanks for the feedback, ENJOY
Holding back laughter is almost as hard as holding back boredom, both take a extreme amount of consideration and will power. Josh thought he has this skill down, but after nearly an hour of the President talking to him about birds, that Josh thought had funny names (titmouse for example) he knew he was going to break. He knew what he needed to do, call in reinforcements. It was 11 o clock, CJ, Sam and Toby all left together to grab a beer. Ed? No he left at like three hours ago. Larry? Vacation, although Josh couldn't figure out how Larry got one. He hated to do this to her, but she had no other option.
"Sir, do you know who would find this conversation fascinating. Donna Moss. Let's get her in here."
"Great idea, maybe she could shed some light on this mystery." What great mystery, how long ago had he stopped pay attention? When Donna came into the oval office she had the deer in head lights look, she was taken in by the room, its history and majesty.
Then she spoke, the words came flying out of her mouth by the time she had said them it was too late, "Tokyo sits on three fault lines." Josh's eyes grew wide at this statement and the President smiled.
"You know they haveā¦"
"An earthquake everyday." Donna finished. The president pointed to the couch and they continue to talk. Josh couldn't hide his frustration any longer, he slouched down in the chair and scrub his face.
"You're a nerd too!"
"A nerd?" Donna questioned
"Too?" The president question.
"And if there is an earthquake a day, why don't people move!" Josh threw his hands up into the air.
"Because," Donna stated as if she was talking to a small child. "it's their home and a testament the human sprit, look at what we can accomplish, build and rebuild. Humans can adapt to anything."
"You watch a lot of nerd TV don't you."
She sighed and admitted, "The British accent helps me sleep."
Donna and the President continued to talk, while Josh continued to be tortured until Donna finally stated if she was ever going to get home, she need to leave soon. The President agreed and invited her back any time she liked.
"That was fun." She smiled brightly as she left, the Deputy in tow.
"Of course you thought it was fun, you're a nerd."
"The President likes me more than he likes you."
"Birds of a feather."
"Jealous?"
"That the President likes you or that you are a nerd?"
"Whatever." Donna rolled her eyes at him.
"Did you even have sex in high school?" Josh asked as they arrived at his door.
"More then you did." She leaned against the door frame.
"What makes you think that?"
"No, Josh, you are right, you're a super stud; very sexy and articulate too."
"You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself."
"You have the largest ego imaginable; I hardly think anything I say will take you down a few notches." She had now grown quite comfortable with him, she turned her head to the side, waiting for some form of retaliation, but it never came. He simply smiled at her, something about his dimples made her stomach dance.
"Do you want me to walk you to the metro station?"
"Um, no, that's fine it only two blocks."
Josh shook his head, "No, you don't understand, it's late and dark and I am walking you to the metro."
"There is no way of me talking you out of this?"
"No, get your things or I will drive you home. Those are your options."
Donna conceded and retrieved her purse as they left the building.
"Next time we are going to come up with some form of signal, so we know if the other is in trouble. " Josh decided as they started to walk.
"Like what? Standing up and yelling 'save me?' or flailing your arms around?"
"I was thinking something subtle, like a word or a hand gesture." Josh frowned.
They continued to discuss hand gestures, Donna suggested a finger in the middle of her hand. Josh wanted to a bird with flapping wings. When they entered the metro station there was a pause, a linger, discomfort and finally words were spoken. "Goodnight."
"Night, Donna." He watched her go through the turnstiles and waited until he heard the train leave.
It had become a tradition without planning it to be, Friday nights, Georgetown, a different bar every week and anyone who didn't have a date could come. Which meant everyone was there. Donna sighed heavy at the table. It was loud enough to get the attention she desired. Sam looked over at her, "What's wrong?"
"It's been six months."
Toby and Josh exchanged looks and Toby asked the follow through question, "Since what?"
"I've been single for six months. I have NEVER been single for six months, not since Junior High." She slammed her hand against the table. CJ, Mandy and Ginger stared at her, "You know what else. It sucks! I hate being single, I hate waking up alone and ordering food for one. EVERYTHING is for one. And I know it sounds shallow, but I hate paying for everything, I have never been so broke in my life."
"Donna Moss, single handedly putting an end to the women's movement." Toby chuckled.
"I know, but a girl's got to eat!" She placed her head in her hands, ashamed of all that she said and all that she was going to say, words would fly out of her mouth as the thoughts exploded in her head. "You know Kevin was an asshole, but at my weakest moments I would take my one out of three orgasms because at least he paid for dinner."
"You would go back to the man who cheated on your for a free dinner?" CJ sneered.
"Only in my darkest moments."
"One out of three." Josh gasped horrified. "That's 33. That's terrible! It means he isn't even trying."
Donna looked at Josh confused, why should he be concerned about her sex life, aside from the fact that she is broadcasting it for all to know. One more thought leaped into her mind, "OH MY GOD! I am a virgin again!"
All the others stopped drinking and stared at her, only CJ managed to speak. "What?"
"Six months of no sex means you become a virgin again." Donna stated with such conviction that at first no one questioned her. Either this was the truth, after all she did know a lot of useless crap, or she believed it to be true.
"Seriously?" Dismay started to creep across Toby's face. "I am too old to be a virgin, again."
"It's not true." Josh felt odd being to voice of reason to Toby's irrational fears, it was walking in someone else's shoes, uncomfortable.
"No, it is!" Donna corrected Josh. "You start to loose all your skills. Tricks you had. The less you use it the more you forget."
Sam shook his head, "No, she is right, there is logic to that statement." Josh looked at everyone as if they had all collectively lost their minds.
Donna continued her rant, "You know it's like a concert pianist. The Pianist can tell his music quality is decreasing if he doesn't practice for one day. After two days his teacher can tell and after three days his audience can tell."
"Donna, if you are having sex in front of an audience maybe we should have vetted you more." Mandy smirked.
"No think about it, it's sitting at a piano and once being able to play a masterpiece but only remembering 'Chopsticks'."
Toby grunted and Sam stared at his beer. Neither men spoke, so she continues. "Think about that first time back, the fumbling, the clumsy attempts to be sexy when you can't get your shirt off because your hand is stick in the sleeve. It's horrible!" Each of the people at the table freeze thinking about their own shameful experiences each lost in his or her own thoughts.
"It's the quality of the piano as well." Josh finally speaks, after he swallows down the last of his beer. " 'Chopsticks' sounds like crap on the Casio. After all a Casio is small and portable, it isn't there to stay and hardly high quality. The music sounds all tinny and the keys tend to stick. But a grand piano in the middle of the Kennedy center, its strong and reliable, each cord toned to perfection, even 'Chopsticks' sounds amazing on that." He stared shyly at the beer label.
"Pianos, you are going to rate men as pianos now?" Mandy snarked.
Toby shrugged, "That's not as weird as how Josh rates women."
"Right the artist." Sam huffed. "How does it go, clay something?"
Josh sighed, "Play Doh, Clay, Plaster."' Donna smirked. "Slate, Granite," He mumbled, "Alabaster and Marble."
"Seriously you should think about using a number system." CJ laughed. As the night and the conversation changed, Toby was the first to leave, muttering something about needing to see Andie. Sam followed quickly after. CJ and Mandy went to the bathroom, leaving Josh and Donna alone at the table.
"You think I should hold out for a grand piano?"
"I think you should be happy and not settle." He paused, "You wanna tell me what this is really about?"
"I was supposed to go to Paris." Disappointment oozed from her body as she looked down, to ashamed of her own failures to even make eye contact with Josh.
"For the Honeymoon?" She nodded. "It's really not that great. Lots of art and smelly cheese."
"That's the exact reason why I was going."
"Oh."
"He was into that stuff?"
"No, but we were going to spilt up for a day so I could go to the Louvre. Hey you think that could have been an indicator that we weren't meant to be? We didn't even want to spend our Honeymoon together?"
He placed his hand over hers and their eyes met briefly, "I don't think you would have been happy in that life. And sure in this new life you are stuck hanging out with losers like me, and you have to pay for your own food, I think this life is slightly more fulfilling."
She looked down to their hands and the first quiver of a smile crossed her face the whole night. "You aren't a loser, Josh. You're a nerd." His dimples flashed and her stomach flipped for a second. Without knowing it, or being able to control it, things were changing between Josh and Donna and neither of them wanted it to stop.
