Title: Demons from the past

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!

Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.

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She didn't know why she still went there. That was a lie, she knew why she went there. But why did it mean so much to her.

It was just a crypt, nothing but bones and ashes inside.

But it was the only place she could go when life got too stressful and it felt like things would cave in. Today being a perfect example. She was in stir. All they could do was wait. She tried researching with the others, but soon there was nothing left to research. Dawn was looking through her new database of demons finding the biggest and baddest, then listing their weaknesses. Willow was Casting protection spells left and right. Wards were placed at the new school to alert them of problems, the strongest protection spells were placed at the house and magic box. Xander was busy at work, but brought back some basic supplies for repair and reinforcement.

Buffy was left with nothing to do except think.

She couldn't even patrol.

Whatever message slice-n-dice had sent, it had been received. There was nothing to kill. Even the hellmouth, beacon to all evil in the world, was silent. She couldn't sleep, the fact that potential slayers, little girls were dying, was giving her nightmares.

The worst thing was that she still hadn't heard from Giles.

All this had been mounting for the last week. Which brought her to the ritual she performed every time life got too much. She would just walk and sit against the door, looking at the stars. She would look at them and wonder whether those who passed before her were looking down on her, the past slayers before her, her cousin, Miss Calendar, Her mom.

But she never thought of Spike being up there, watching after her. She was sure William was, looking down on them and wondering what was going to happen. No, her Spike was somewhere else.

He was in the stone behind her, in the bones inside, in the wood against her back, in the soil under her feet.

When she was here she could almost hear his voice, and when she closed her eyes she could imagine his arms holding her. She did this until the knot in her stomach disappeared or until the weight on her shoulders didn't seem so heavy. Time seemed to disappear here, minutes could turn into hours and hours into minutes.

It didn't matter.

It was the stillness that soothed her, his ability to make everything slow to a halt. Things no longer raced a mile a minute, creatures no longer wanted to kill her or her family. It became all about the single moment, a single heartbeat. It became the wood behind her back, the soil under her feet. Things didn't need to make sense and you didn't have to fight.

Everything just existed.

And when everything started moving again, all the things that had been knotting her up or weighing her down, didn't seem to be as terrible or unbearable as before. Calmly she got up and brushed off any leaves that might have stuck to her pant.

Walking away she stopped for a moment and turned around.

So strange something like this place could mean so much. It made her laugh that the one place she could go was in the middle of the graveyard, and used to be the home of a feared vampire. It didn't bring tears to her eyes anymore, just put a small, sad smile on her face. Turning back toward the house she began to walk home.

About halfway through the cemetery she felt him.

The demon she, much to everyone else's agreement, dubbed slice-n-dice was around. She could tell that he was too far away to have been following her, so what was he doing.

This piqued her curiosity.

The Slayer knew next to nothing about this guy. She didn't even know if he was a guy. Everything she did know was what she saw.

He had obeyed her orders and stopped going on the rampage he was set on. She didn't know why she stopped him, it was helping her out. Just the fact it was her fight he was fighting bothered her. She didn't like being benched, especially if the challenge was to her.

So he had submitted to her authority, though she did doubt she could take him in a fight. And as a part of that submission, once a day he would appear before dusk and help out whenever he could. The rest of the gang would try and make small talk but he was unresponsive. He just did the job and went on his way. Buffy didn't know why, but when he was around she was on alert but at the same time comfortable.

It was obvious that Willow knew more about him than she was telling. But since the incident with D'Hoffryn she had clamped her mouth shut. Even with all these questions around she still allowed this vicious, powerful demon near her loved ones.

Xander brought up that fact enough times to make her question herself. But each time she silenced him with the phrase that explained a lot of things she couldn't. She trusted her instincts, and her instincts were telling her that this guy wasn't a threat, well, at least not to their side.

Following her senses she moved carefully toward the source. As she neared she heard a strange song carrying on the wind.

"Early one morning, just as the sun was rising..."

It was so faint, but something was itching at the back of her brain, something she knew. Shrugging it off Buffy continued until she spotted him. The scene was so simple and innocent that she almost forgot what she had seen him do in those bars.

He was just sitting on a long box tomb, and from what she could tell, he was just looking up at the moon lit sky. The slayer knew he sensed her, but to his credit he just continued to sing his song, the voices behind his in complete harmony.

Buffy slowly walked towards him memorized the pure feeling behind it. For the first time since she met him, she looked and saw a little bit of herself. Her pain that isolated her from everyone else, the weight that burdened her for so long. A weight that she tried to keep for herself and not lay on others.

A thought stopped her dead, the weight on his shoulders had turned him into this, could it happen to her.

She resumed her slow walk, and when it was done she found herself standing next to him. She noticed that he always kept his head bowed. She had a suspicion that he wouldn't if no one was there.

"Hey."

He said nothing, but by the nod of his head she knew he heard her.

"Nice song."

Nothing.

"Where'd you hear it?"

Nothing. The silence was starting to piss her off.

"Listen, sorry for interrupting, just trying to be friendly."

Silence. She turned to walk off when a whisper stopped her.

"Learned it when I was a boy."

That was a shocker. Slowly turning she tried to build momentum.

"Who taught it to you?"

His voice was deep and sad.

"My mother."

Being brave she continued.

"You were human?"

Moving over a bit, he waved her to sit.

"Long time ago, so long it seems like a dream sometimes."

She sat as he said this. It was hard for her to wrap her mind around it. There was silence for a what seemed like forever. It wasn't awkward, each were lost in their own memories.

"Can you still feel him?"

This startled her, the defenses were on their way up when he continued.

"When I first got here, I knew nothing of where I was, what I was, why I was brought here, so I read the witches mind, and threw her connection to you all, I read yours as well."

Buffy's face turned beat red, from anger or embarrassment, no one knew.

"Don't worry, like I told the witch, there are some things that are blocked, to even me."

His voice, or should she say the voices behind his, weren't patronizing, just deep and serious. Getting herself under control she sat there for a moment. He had answered his questions, she should return the courtesy.

"Yes."

"Does he speak to you."

Sighing again.

"Sometimes I can imagine what he would say, and almost hear him."

"Sounds like he meant a lot to you."

Looking down she nodded.

"Yeah he did. I don't think he knew how much. Always did my best to make sure he thought the exact opposite."

"Why?"

There was a bitter smile on her face.

"Because he loved me."

His silence was a unasked question itself.

"Because I couldn't bring my pain on my friends, so I put it on him. I kept telling myself that he was just a thing. He didn't love or feel."

She fiddled with her hands before she continued.

"I think I just wanted to be dead, but in a way I wanted to be alive at the same time. And him loving me, made me feel like I was alive. I guess that's why I did the things I did. I beat him down to make the feeling stop and used him to make the feeling come back. The funny thing is he was supposed to be the enemy, but he was the only one that made me feel, not my friends, the ones who are supposed to love me."

Looking up at the moon she quietly finished.

"I tried to do the right thing. I saw what I was doing and tried to end the cycle. I told him that it was killing me, but really I knew it was killing him."

There was a pause.

"But I guess it was too late."

There was silence for a long time. There was no judgement in it, no accusation, just acceptance in it. Trying to get her mind off of what she just said she turned to him.

"You've been coming here at night haven't you?"

He didn't say anything but just nodded.

"Why?"

His voice this time almost seemed human.

"The same reason you do, to feel and listen to a love I lost a long time ago. To live amongst the dead"

It confused her.

"I was a man once, but through pain I chose a path that damned me. Of course fate in all it's humor made me fall in love. And when I was with her I could feel the warmth that had caused me pain when I was a man."

His voice grew dark and suddenly Buffy felt a stab of fear.

"The person I loved did not love me, could not love me. In desperation to make the pain stop I killed her, I killed the love so I might be free. But it only intensified it."

He stopped there. The darkness disappeared from his voice.

"I died, and for my sins I was sent to hell. And even here hell still haunts me, because I am tortured by the memory of the warmth. The love I could have felt but destroyed in my own desperation."

Buffy sat rigid, each word cutting her. The sound of his next words nearly broke her.

"Even though it causes me great pain, I still imagine sometimes, what it might have been like."

The slayer could see him shake himself out of the old memories.

"Your still using him. To feel, only you no longer want to be dead"

The silence after this fell like a steel door. She got up off the tomb unable to listen anymore. Looking at his form, this broken form she suddenly saw what the slayer had feared. What she might become, the dark part of her heart that would consume her. Not bearing it any longer she turned to walk away.

But for the second time tonight his voice commanded her stillness.

"I have known for the longest time that I am alone, that I will live forever unloved, a twisted creature who is a glutton for punishment. I come here to numb the pain of the weight that has broken my back time and time again because there is no one to help me carry it. And in a way I'm in love with the pain and cannot live without it."

You come here to do the same.

Your back has been broken by it, but you've managed to heal and get back up. But the stillness you seek does not relinquish that weight, just numbs the pain. Your back will be broken again."

He paused standing up off the tomb. He turned towards her, and even though she didn't see a face or eyes, she felt them go through her.

"Your friends do not bear your weight if you tell them the burdens of your life. You include them into your life if you tell them the burdens in it. With that the weight will lesson and no longer crush, but strengthen you and those around you."

With that he turned of into the direction opposite to what she was facing. Her face was hard, but the tears running down her cheeks were evidence of the words getting through. As he walked away his final words hit her ears.

"We need as much strength as we can if we are to survive the approaching storm. The calm is coming to an end. The hurricane is just off the shore."

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A/N: Chapter eight, ah it seems like only yesterday that it was chapter 2. Hmmmm the memories.

Alright enough of that crap.

This chapter was edited five times before I felt I got it right. I wanted the things said here to have some basis int he BTVS universe. I hope I did a good job at that.

IF not you can tell me by reviewing or e-mailing me at igore_12584@yahoo.com

Come on I dare you to review. CHICKEEEEEEN BAWK BAWK BAWK B-BAAAWK! (I know, childish but it works sometimes)