Fix You

Author's Note: Make that three. I'm on a roll. I've finally reached the climax of the story, the breaking point of all the tension that's been building up since the beginning of the story. What's next? Read on.

Chapter 14: Sadness

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?

Marissa didn't go home that night. She stayed at the only place she didn't think anyone would ever go to look for her. The flat that she'd shared with Alex back when they had a relationship together. Seeing her and Seth's mutual ex-girlfriend had got her thinking back to that time in her life, a time that seemed so surreal.

Her and Seth's lives seemed to have been inexplicably intertwined since that year and she hadn't even realized it until now. The two loneliest people in Newport had ended up being the perfect couple. Until a few weeks ago when everything had started to crack, until everything fell apart just hours earlier.

Sitting in the dingy apartment, Marissa wished she could go back to that year knowing what she knew now and change things. Change how she felt about Ryan, change getting back together with him, change all the years she'd wasted being sad and feeling alone when the love of her life had been sitting right there next to her, patiently waiting for he to notice he was there.

Maybe she would go back to those first days Ryan was in Newport and instead of falling for him; she could use him as an excuse to fall for Seth, to be with Seth. They'd had sparks, even back then there'd been subtle hints of attraction that neither of them had noticed until they were twenty-two.

Even then, Marissa had found herself surprised

"Hiding out Cooper?"

Marissa looked up to see Alex standing in the door, another surprise of the night.

"You've got quite a search party out looking for you," the blonde mentioned, stepping into the apartment and sitting across from Marissa, "Your dad's at the lighthouse, Anna's at the beach, Seth's locked up in his room moping."

"Good for him."

"He loves you Marissa," Alex mentioned, "I know we've all told you this before. Seth's a good guy."

"Then why was he kissing her?" Marissa asked, "He swore to me he didn't love her."

"He saw you and Ryan," the explanation hit Marissa hard.

"It was a mistake," Marissa's breath hitched as she held back a sob, "I don't know why I did it."

"Seth made a mistake too Marissa," her old friend gave her a nudge, "Cut him some slack."

"I don't think he'll forgive me," Marissa looked up into Alex eyes, "I told him I didn't know if I loved Ryan and then he gave me this speech about loving me more than anything in the world and I kiss Ryan."

"Should've kissed me," Alex joked, "He would've been more forgiving then."

Marissa laughed, "It's funny. How the three of us are connected."

"I understand you and Seth more than most," Alex nodded, "And I know you can't run away from this Marissa. You two are way too old to be going back to your old tricks."

Marissa smiled at Alex, thanking her silently for helping her out with this, for convincing her to go back. There were few people who could remind Marissa of these things. Of Seth's love for her and how much better they were together.

So you don't know were you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before

They knew how badly they'd screwed up.

It was one thing for them to want Seth and Marissa back, but it was another thing entirely to meddle with the marriage, to break the only couple that seemed to be functional in Newport, aside from the original glory couple, apart.

Ryan felt terrible. Summer felt even worse.

She'd known that Seth loved Marissa, how much Seth loved Marissa and yet when he'd kissed her she'd gotten lost in it. No one ever kissed her the way Seth did. Maybe if they hadn't been caught by all of Newport, including Seth's six-year-old daughter, she would've felt slightly less bad.

Never had she planned this to happen. It was the last thing on her list of things to do. Cause trouble for Marissa and Seth, who actually seemed to make each other happy. So many stories of how much her relationship with Seth had changed Marissa, for the better. Changed Seth too.

Anna had met her for coffee with Zach the other day, told her everything she'd ask to know about them. It didn't surprise her at all that Zach and Anna got along well, that Zach's family loved her. Anna was smart, she knew politics, and they fit well. It didn't bother her because Zach deserved happiness, so did Anna.

So why had Seth and Marissa's relationship bothered her?

Probably because Coop was her best friend and Seth her first love. It still didn't explain why she'd followed him into the office, let him kiss her, let herself believe that he actually wanted her. It had all made her been revenge because of Marissa and Ryan's kissing. Now, she felt cheap and guilty.

Why did everything always have to be so dysfunctional when the four of them were together? By twos, alone, they were all fine, but when they were the "Fantastic Four" as Seth liked to call them it was one mess after the other.

Maybe their friendship was never meant to be.

It hurt Summer to think that the four of them were never destined to be friends. It made her sad to think of it because when they'd been together it'd been the best days of her life. Obviously, by moving to New York with her dad she'd sabotaged any chance of having friendship with either Seth or Marissa.

Certainly she'd now burnt that bridge to the ground for good.

"I hate Newport," Summer muttered, more to herself than to Ryan sitting next to her.

"Were these things like this before I came?" he wondered, "Or did every party end without a fight and crying?"

"No, you brought all that Chino stuff to Newport with you," she replied, "And it never left. Even when you did that summer."

They sat there in silence. Both holding solely themselves for everything that was wrong in Seth and Marissa's lives. It was their entire fault that they were the way they were. If things had just stayed the same they had been before they'd all become friends there would probably be less drama in the world. Maybe Seth and Marissa would be happy.

Maybe they would be happy.

"Things were so not better the way they were," Summer sighed, a tinge of sadness in her tone, "Especially not anymore."