Chapter 5: The Letter
Queen Asura and the chamberlain were at work once more. The hardest part of the plan was choosing neutral territory. Rydia and Edge had to meet up but it couldn't happen in the Land of Summoned Monsters or Eblan. Both places would arouse suspicion. Despite being completely retarded about their feelings, both of the little lovebirds were extremely intelligent.
"We are getting nowhere with this, your highness." lamented an exhausted chamberlain. "What to do? What to do?"
Asura pointedly ignored his whining. In their past few meetings, she had become very familiar with the chamberlain's working moods. Once the going got tough, he would whine. Following the whine, he would call for Anya to bring tea. When the tea was not strong enough or the sugar not sugary enough, or the lemons not juicy enough, etcetera…he would "accompany Anya to the kitchens" to "supervise her choice in tea time ingredients."
Whatever—he was boinking her. Realizing this early on, Asura politely refused to drink any of the tea or eat any of the crumpets brought back from the kitchen after the chamberlain served in his supervisory capacity. It was just too gross!
On cue, the chamberlain spoke up, "Perhaps I should call on Anya. It's nearly tea time." He couldn't hide the hopeful note in his voice, nor could he avoid jumping out of his seat.
He jumped, not out of excitement, but as part of a startled reaction. "THAT'S IT!" shouted Asura. "Why am I so daft? We need outside help!"
"Anya? But Anya doesn't even know Rydia. And, why I do believe she is one of only two, maybe three house maidens who don't know Edge either…"
"And I thought I was the daft one!" Asura shook her head. "We don't need Anya. We need to talk to their friends. If anyone knows intrigue and deception, it's going to be them. Think of what they have just been through with Golbez, with Kain…"
"What a good idea! Outside perceptions are probably just what we need," seconded the chamberlain. "I will leave you to contact everyone. I am going to make sure we have sufficient supplies in the kitchen to ensure that our guests experience the utmost in hospitality while they are here."
Asura shuddered at his departure. Note to self, she thought, Order out tonight!
Whatever the chamberlain stocked the Eblanian kitchen with was left to be enjoyed by the serving staff. By morning, Asura and the chamberlain were enjoying breakfast at a cozy desert inn. At Edward's suggestion, all interested in the plan to unite Rydia and Edge would meet in the isolated town of Kaipo. Ultimately Rydia and Edge would meet at Kaipo—in any case it was figured that the two lovers could not easily depart the city once brought together. Leaving Kaipo without scheduled transportation across the endless desert would be a nightmare!
Once the breakfast dishes were cleared Asura spoke out to the group. "All right, getting Rydia in on this should be easy. All we have to do is write a bunch of lovey-dovey stuff on paper and she'll swoon over it."
"Rydia!" Rosa was aghast. "But Rydia is so logical, so unmushy!"
"Ah, Rosa, you forget how young Rydia truly is. Isolated from normal humans and experiencing an accelerated childhood, Rydia never fully embraced adolescence. Rydia's emotional behavior is consistent with that of a typical thirteen or fourteen year old human girl. In short, she has become something of a mushy, boy-infatuated, romantic." Asura shook her head. "We monsters have it so much easier. We grow up, we sense attraction, and we attach ourselves to a partner. We do not have crushes, are-you-dateable quizzes, or courting rituals. What Rydia saw during time with us in the Land of Summoned Monsters must have confused her considerably."
"Oh…" was all Rosa could muster. While Asura's explanation was sound, Rosa was still contemplating the realities of monster romantic relationships—particularly the physical aspect of these relationships. It wasn't working for her to envision any of it, and she was doubly bothered at the thought of what Rydia might have seen while living there.
Cecil gently rubbed his wife's shoulder. He knew what she was thinking, and though he felt nauseous at the mental images Asura's words created in his mind, he also knew they were gathered together for a purpose. "So, your majesty, about this letter. Who is going to write to Rydia to get her to come here? If any of us wrote it, she would expect to visit us in our respective homelands. Bringing her to Kaipo would be most suspect."
"Couldn't Edge invite her?" Cid questioned. "Wait a minute—strike that! Couldn't we invite her in Edge's name?"
"I don't know Cid," offered Edward. "If Rydia is truly as hurt as Asura suggests, it is not likely that she will come running at the summons of a man who snubbed her." Asura and Cecil both nodded their agreement with Edward's assessment.
"So, what do we write," joked Cid, "Your Secret Admirer?"
"Actually, that might work," said Rosa thoughtfully. She pulled out some attractive, yet masculine stationary and a pen. "Chamberlain, will you write?" She handed him the pen and paper. "Rydia is not likely to recognize your penmanship."
So, Asura, Chamberlain, Rosa, Cecil, Cid, Edward, and Yang sat around the table in the inn at Kaipo composing a love letter. Several drafts later, Rosa held the finished copy aloft. Edward took it from her and read it aloud in a most surprisingly dramatic tone:
Dearest Rydia,
Days have passed, weeks in fact, since you briefly crossed my path. Yet I find myself thinking only of you. I am plagued with dreams and thoughts of your face, your voice, the warmth I felt in your presence. Your beauty haunts me. I must see you again, but until you agree, I will not divulge my identity.
I will be in Kaipo for the duration of the week. Please, heed the call of my aching heart.
I remain your anonymous admirer
"It took us three hours to write that!" Cid was disgusted with their efforts. "I really hope Rydia is as love sick as you say Asura, or we are making complete fools of ourselves!"
"Ah, just attach it to a bouquet of roses and get on with it," ordered a frustrated Yang. This romance stuff was too much for him. It made him feel quite unmanly. He began wondering just how it was that he hooked up with his wife. Knowing her, she probably bashed him over the head with a frying pan and dragged him to the altar!
"Well, here is to letter number one," said Asura as she dashed the paper with cologne and sealed it in an envelope. "I really didn't think it would take that long. Let's call it a day, and we will worry about Edge's letter in the morning. After this, I am way too tired!" All agreed. Cecil took the letter and a bunch of red roses outside where instructed a carrier pigeon to deliver the items to the Land of the Summoned Monsters. He watched the bird fly out of sight before joining his friends for an early dinner back at the inn.
