Author's note: Here is part two as promised. These chapter contains references for "Six meetings before Lunch" and "Let Bartlet be Bartlet". There are a lot of short conversations, each one time expect time to have passed.
Nothing much to say, but thanks for all the feedback.
Danie, you, of course rock my socks!
Days turned to nights and the night became Donna's favorite time. The White House was quieter, and less chaotic. The night made things magical and rare, private moments more private, jokes that would have simply been funny under the sun, became hysterical under the moon. Some things never changed, she brought cookies in for the agents, Danny continued to hit on CJ, and for some reason CongressmenBob Russell was still trying to set Toby up. Other things did change, Charlie and Zoey became more serious, jobs lost their luster, and the brisk air of winter softened and smelled of cherry blossom. Other things remained in a state of changing and remaining the same. Donna returned to Josh after every date, but her reasoning for it changed.
"So how did it go?"
"I'm here aren't I?"
"That bad?"
"Well the first clue should have been when he rescheduled five times. He was pompous, arrogant and ordered for me."
"WHAT? On a first date!"
"I told him I was allergic to shrimp scampi then ordered myself Chicken Chesapeake. I ate all the crab meat because I didn't know if you kept Kosher." She handed over the chicken; he took out a piece of carrot cake.
"Nope. I'm a really bad Jew. I don't keep Kosher, I never go to temple, I work on the holidays and I don't call my mother as much as I should."
"I know." She smiled at him.
"How's she doing by the way?"
"Call her and find out."
"It's late, I'll call in the morning."
"I'll check in by noon to make sure you did."
"You don't trust me?"
Donna didn't answer the question; she just picked at the frosting on her cake. Josh changed the subject. "He ordered for you."
Disgust washed over Donna's face. "Yeah."
"I don't think I've ever been able to order for anyone I've dated."
"I have a question."
"Why did you start off like that? Just ask the question."
"What did you see in Mandy? I mean I've tried to figure it out, but I just don't see it."
Josh sat quietly for a while, picking at his chicken. "You want the whole truth?" Donna nodded. "It was right after my father died." She stopped picking at her cake and moved closer to him. "I was tired of feeling guilty and lost. Mandy was new, interesting and looked great in dresses. It's stupid, really. I never intended it to go on as long as it did, but she wouldn't leave. I guess a small part of me didn't really want her to go. If I was miserable because of her, I wasn't miserable about my dad. Does that make senses?"
A sympathetic and comforting smile crossed Donna's face. "Yeah, it makes total sense. I did the same thing when my grandparents died. I crawled into bed with some guy I'd just met." Donna face darkened lost in her own memories recalling that it was his idea to go to the frat party.
Josh had become accustomed to her moments of silence and knew it was time to change to subject. "Do you know why we broke up?"
"Nope."
"She wanted plates."
Donna was pretty sure she either heard that wrong or her brain had stopped working.
"Plates?"
"Yep."
"Weren't you on the campaign trail?"
"Yep."
"Didn't you eat at restaurants, like at every meal?"
"Yeah."
"I don't understand."
"Yes, you do and you are on the right track, keep going."
"Isn't it the natural and safe assumption that the restaurant will have plates?"
"Yeah."
"Hmmm."
"Yeah."
"Ok. So she's…"
"Insane. She spent most of the day looking for a panda in the White House."
"Yeah that was what I was thinking too. Did you cheat on her?"
"No, I don't do things like that. The smoking jacket was from a crazy lady who liked to think she was backing the right guy."
"Did she know you don't smoke?"
"I don't know. Only women who are certifiable are attracted to me."
Donna walked back to guest chair and sat down with a huff.
"What's this?" Donna pointed to a box on Josh's desk.
"An intercom Ginger wants me to set up. Apparently she's tired of hearing me scream her name."
"Can't imagine why. Are you going to use it?" Donna asked, although she already knew the answer. Why press a button to speak when he could yell? It was more efficient anyway. Josh's logic was askew, things that seemed to be common sense to every other person on the planet, confused and alluded him. She was beginning to think she might never understand him.
Donna entered Josh's office, back from yet another first date. Every Congressman, woman or Senator that passed through the halls seemed to want her to shack up with someone from their office. Josh was quietly sitting at his desk, staring at a folder but not reading it.
"Hey," Donna said, breaking the silence. She was unsure if he even knew she was there.
"Hey, yourself." Josh always knew when she was there.
"You ok?" She moved over and placed the food container on his desk, then sat on the corner of his desk.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Liar."
He looked up at her and she stared him down until he spoke. "Sometimes I forget why I chose this life. The good days don't come as often as I'd like. We've been here well over a year and we have nothing to show for it."
"You have Mendoza."
"Ok fine, one thing. I've wanted to be here as long as I can remember, but now that I'm here…" He paused and chose his words carefully. "I thought there would be more victories."
She placed his hands in hers and smiled at him, "Every day you're here is a victory, Joshua. It's only been one year, that's why you get four with the option of four more. And when you leave this office, this building, and this life, the country and the world will be better because you were here. Now honestly how many people can say that?"
He smiled at the sincerity of her words, but it was the warmth of her hands that was making him feel better. Which was why when she pulled them away to get something she thought was going to make him feel better, it really didn't. She returned to the office with a CD and placed it in his computer's CD-ROM drive. "That thing plays CD's?" Josh asked, shocked. She in turn looked at him as if he was the biggest idiot in the world.
Pat Benatar's voice rung from the speakers. "We are young, heartache to heartache, we stand."
Donna started to dance around the office, complete with the hooker shimmy. Josh's laugher and dimples replaced all self loathing. Donna hit repeat and danced some more, because she wasn't really convinced he was felling better. When the song ended the second time, Josh stood "Come on, Bright Eyes, I'll take you to the Metro."
Later, they stood in the terminal, saying their goodbyes "Thanks, Donna."
"Anytime Josh."
As always he waited for the train to leave the station before he left, but tonight he vowed to create the world she deserved to live in. And he knew the sacrifices he would have to make in order to achieve his vow. And he cursed that she would have to be one of them.
"Don't you ever feel bad that other guys are paying for your dinner?" Donna asked take a bit of her apple pie
"No, they aren't sleeping with you either." Josh smirked
"You going out tonight?" He leaned against the wall, smirking down at her.
"Yep." She swung around in her swivel chair.
"I'm thinking some form of cow for dinner."
"I am thinking some cheesecake."
An hour later, Donna stormed into Josh's office, threw dinner on his desk and plunged into the chair.
"Um, you ok?"
No response but her body was so tense it was shaking.
"You're back early."
No response, but she glared at him.
"Really early in fact, I didn't even get you your cheese cake yet."
No response, but she continued to glare.
"Something happen?"
"Duh."
"You wanna talk about it."
"He said, 'it's really brave of the president to let his daughter date that black kid.'"
No response, just his fist slamming the desk.
"Yeah I know, hence why I'm here and not with him."
Both stewed in their own anger. Finally Josh offered, "You wanna watch Goonies?"
She turned slowly to him, and whispered in awe, "You have Goonies?"
"I bought it in case of an emergency. This seems to qualify."
"Yes, I do want to watch it."
Josh nodded, took the video out of his desk drawer, and inserted it in the VCR.
Donna's hateful mood evaporated and she peacefully settled to watch the movie.
Donna entered Josh's office quietly and sat down; she presented him with the customary doggie bag, but didn't say anything.
"You ok?"
She didn't respond, but this silence was different, not the hateful lack of sound that had made its appearance last week.
"Hmm?"
"Are you ok?" Josh repeated the question, something he rarely had to do.
"Um, yeah, I guess." Josh's eyebrows moved higher on his forehead in disbelief She picked up on this cue, sighed and spoke the truth. "The date was going fine; he was sweet, funny, and interesting. Probably the best one yet." Josh's stomach began to churn. "But then he said, 'Since you work at the White House do you find it hard to trust people?' I lied to him and said 'no', but spent the rest of the night thinking about his question. I don't remember a single thing he said after that."
"Hmm."
"Yeah."
They sat in silence again, which Donna was the first to break. "Who do you trust?"
Josh ran his fingers through his hair and started to pace around his office. "Um, I don't know, I guess it depends on what I need to trust people with. I trust my dry cleaners with my suits, but not with my taxes."
"That's not what I mean and you know it."
"My career is the most important thing in my life; I would say it consumes at least 85 of it. I trust the President, Leo, Toby, Sam, CJ, you, and Ginger."
"What about the other stuff that isn't related to your job? You know, your life."
Josh sat back down, not in his chair but the chair next to hers. "Its only 15, it's really not that much."
"What about your love life? Or your health?"
"In case you haven't noticed I don't have a love life."
"Oh, I noticed." Donna smirked.
"I can't trust women in DC, it's not possible, they know my job title, and that's all they care about" he stated bitterly. Donna stroked her pinky against his fingers. Her skin barely touched his; he could feel the warmth, but not the contact. She wanted him to speak, but if it was too difficult for him, he didn't have to. He knew that, and understood the gentle touches for what they were.
He gave in and told Donna the truth.
"I met Teresa two weeks before the election. She was a lobbyist and wanted to know where Bartlet stood in the environmental laws. I responded with some blanket statement that he would do his best to protect the only planet we have. She told me to cut the crap. I couldn't speak; I tripped out of the meeting. She asked me if I wanted to meet her for a drink. I said yes. She was intoxicating. She was everything I wanted in a woman… smart, funny, ruthless. Everything about her oozed sex and mystery. I started calling her every night on the road. When we won she was the second phone call I made. When I got back to DC we saw each other every day. I had never fallen so hard so fast. She was the most beautiful woman at the Inaugural Ball. Of course that's because she planned it that way. She moved into my condo while I was setting up my office."
He paused and the bitterness started to flow back into his words. "It was little things I didn't notice at first. She had to come to every function. We needed to get our picture taken at each function. She could never wear the same outfit twice. I just assumed it was the excitement of it all. When I came home late at night, she didn't even seem to care or notice. She said I was a powerful man and she understood."
His voice softened. "I wanted to marry her. When I looked at her I saw my future. She, however, saw the power and trips on Air Force One. Sam didn't like her, CJ hated her, and Toby was still licking his wounds from losing Andi. But we were all busy so no one really confronted me with it.
"Four months into the term, an EPA bill was on the floor. Most of the groundwork had been laid by the previous administration. Teresa was pushing for more funding and wanted my help. I thought the bill had plenty of funding as is. This was the only thing the last President really wanted, but it was pushed back and everyone assumed we would kill it. That's what Teresa thought, at least. The problem was it was a great bill, amazing for a Republican, in fact. I couldn't crush his legacy so I pushed it through as is.
"Teresa and I got into a drag out fight. She said, 'If you can't get a bill for me, what good are you?' Then it hit me, and I asked her if she was with me only for the power and her career. Then she struck like a snake. 'Why else would I be with you?' she said. 'Why else would anyone be with you.' I slept in Toby's office that night. The next morning all of her stuff was gone. Two weeks later when the gossip hounds found out I was single, I started getting calls and fan letters from women offering to help me during my difficult time. I'm sure they just saw the title too
Donna had been stroking his hand, she looked at him and with metal harshness wrapped in kindness she said, "Josh, she's a bitch. Get over it."
"Thanks, I know."
"You shouldn't give up. After all love is a battle field."
"Shut up." He smirked at her then stood and gathered her things for the walk to the metro.
"So you don't trust anyone with that other 15 of your life."
"No, that isn't true. I trust my mother." They started to head through the lobby.
"Just her?"
"No, there is one other," he stated shyly, staring at his shoes as he walked. Donna pulled him out of the way of a column he was inches from walking into. "What about you, who do you, trust?"
She thought for a minute. "Pretty much all the same people. I trust Danny, although I know I shouldn't. Bonnie, Cathy, Ginger, and Margaret have been like sisters to me. Sam and Toby are like brothers. Jackson and Jefferson are like crazy overprotective brothers."
"I think Jackson is in love with you."
"No, I look like his kid sister who married a jerk. He just looks out for me. You know, he's married to his high school sweetheart. It's a cute story if you want to hear it."
"I really don't. That's all you trust."
"No, I trust your mom." They stopped at a traffic light.
"Ok, Donna, you know that's weird, right?"
She laughed shyly. "Yeah, I know." She was silent for a moment, then spoke in a quiet voice so that no one could hear. "I never got along with my parents or my brothers and sister, mostly because my siblings were carbon copies of my parents. Leo and my father share a vice, the only difference is Leo is a good man while my father is not. There's no point in going into details. You're a smart guy, I'm sure you can figure out what my childhood was like. It explains why I'm desperate for approval and attention, why I'm so protective of those I care about. You know what was the last thing my father said to me? It was after the frat party, I'd been to the hospital and then the police station. My father was there to pick me up. Instead of holding me and telling me he would kick that guy's ass or whatever supportive things fathers are supposed to say, he said, 'that's what you get for dressing like a slut.' We don't talk anymore.
"My mother is another story. She wanted me to be with Kevin more than anything. She saw him as a way out for me and in some ways so did I. She would convince me to stay with him, hell! She wanted me to drop out of school to help support him through med school. I declined, but I did cut back my classes, it took me two extra years to graduate, but I did. My mother wanted me to be with Kevin, because 'let's face it, Donna; you will never do better than a doctor. And hey, as long as he isn't beating you, there's no problem, right?' Wrong mother, how wrong you were.
"While I hated my family I still took care of them, more than I should have. So when I left Wisconsin to start a new life here, they took that as abandoning them. They disowned me and haven't talked to me since."
They stopped at the entrance of the station. Suddenly his old heartbreak story paled in comparison. A part of him blamed himself for the pain she was suffering, after all it was his doing that she moved. Josh looked for something supportive and funny to say, but he came up empty.
Donna knew what he was trying to do and smiled at him. "Really, Josh there isn't anything for you to say, so stop trying. In the past eleven months your mother has been more understanding, comforting, and loving than my parents have been in twenty-six years. So I thank you for letting me borrow her when I need to hear a friendly voice."
He nodded and they went down the escalator. She rested the back of her head against his chest and he wrapped his fingers around her arms. "You can have her whenever you need her," he whispered in her ear, adding with a smirk, "Bright Eyes."
"Dork." She smiled up at him.
She pulled her metro card out of her wallet. He stared at his shoes for a minutes before asking, "Is there anyone else you trust?"
She walked through the triangles of death, and looked back at him, "Yeah one other person." It was until she got to the second escalator that passengers took to the trains that she called out, "You."
He watched her until she disappeared, swallowed by the metro. Josh walked back to the White House humming "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and grinning.
