A/N: A long time coming but I'm sure that's obvious. Anyone who read my profile knew that my computer crashed and died completely and it took me awhile to make enough money at work to buy a new one and then the writing but now things are rolling somewhat smoother but writing will still be slower than it used to be due to work but I shall do my best. That's about it for now. Time to answer my reviews from so long ago. Once again, sorry for the unavoidable delays.

To my reviewers:

Cherry Jade: Yeah I'm not a big fan of Beast Boy either. Comic relief has its place but he's really not funny to begin with so that makes him pretty useless. Yeah lots going on in Nightwing/Richard's head and it will be going on for a bit still. Time to see what's up with Raven. My other story should be alittle longer for update but I can't give a time yet.

evilsangle: Sorry for the delay and I hope this chapter is good enough to make up for it.

DeathsLastBreath: Glad you liked it. There will be more conversations in Nightwing's head before this is all settled.

mysti-eyed: Slade always has a plan and he knows he probably has to modify his desires a little bit to finally get what he wants. He's crazy but he is smart.

DarkAngelImogen: Hey, I wouldn't put anything past Nightwing. He is fricking nuts but just have to wait and see what happenes.

They Call Me Sweetsnow: Glad you like the story. Hope you continue to enjoy it.

First Commander Miari: The really long delay kind of ruined the pacing I had set because it was such a long break but thats all my computer's fault so what ya gonna do. Lets hope this chapter flows still with the rest of the story.

xcloudx: Thanks for all the compliments. Hope a few more come my way.

MyChemSweetie: I like Starfire but I can see a lot of stories where she's not needed and of course this was one of them. You should feel lucky because you are a new reader for my story and didn't have to endure the nearly month off of my writing because of computer problems so calm down on the seisure. Don't want to be hurting any of my readers. Glad your enjoying my writing and hope to hear from you again.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans so lets not try and sue me since I don't have anything to sue for.

Finding Hope Again

Chapter 8

By: Finalitylife

Nightwing continued to run frantically through the forest, struggling with the continuing emergence of Richard. He barely noticed where he was going as it was taking all of his concentration to hold his true self at bay. Nightwing pushed through the last of a few branchs and fell unceremoniously into a clearing. His breathing was heavy and erratic, sweating covered his face, his eyes and fists clenched tightly as if in pain, and in a way he was though not physically. His mind was in turmoil, fighting a war against itself to save itself, to save its humanity.

"I won't lose to you! I won't let this happen! I won't let you deny me my vengeance! I won't let you deny me my purpose!."

"And that is exactly it. Vengeance is all you are. Anger and hatred is all you are. And I've finally been reminded, thanks to Raven, that those are not all that I truly am, all that I truly need. I want to become who I was supposed to be, not who I was made into. I want the Titan's back, I want my family back. I want to hold Raven again and I want to honor Starfire's memory. I don't want to be this monster anymore, the one who scared Raven, the one who wanted to hurt her. You are a part of me, always have, always will, but it is time I face the truth of everything, the reality that I ran from. Its time to go home." Images of Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven flashed through the mind of the embattled man, memories of simpler, happier times, when everyone was still together. Standing out above all else in his mind, were the words of a young, dark woman who had never given up on him and the beautiful, smiling face of a lost alien princess. Nightwing struggled to his feet and let out a terrible scream toward the sky. The scream stopped and everything was silent. No sound of the wind in the trees or birds chirping or even the noise of insects. The hands of Nightwing slowly rose to his face and peeled off the mask that covered his eyes.

The gray clouds that dominated the sky slowly parted over the clearing allowing soft, warm sunlight to pour down from the sky on him. Two deep blue eyes looked up into the sky, seeing the world as it truly was for the first time in so very long. Richard Grayson stood smiling in the middle of the clearing, basking in the little bit of sunlight that managed to penetrate the cold winter afternoon. His eyes struggled to withstand the light, having not been used to being in the day light so intensively for years without his mask yet that fact did not bother him right now. Richard felt a wave of feelings he had not felt in a long time flowing through his body, no longer completely consumed by his darker side which now had been forced into the back of his mind for the moment. It was time to go to the tower, time to go back to Raven. He smiled again as he thought of the dark beauty who had found a way to get through to him even when he had been nearly completely lost. He so badly wanted to embrace her again. Richard used the sun to find his general direction and took off running home.

As Richard spotted the tower in the distance, he pushed himself even faster toward his destination. He had returned twice to the tower in the last five years, once to replace his lost hand, and the other just recently after encountering Starfire's memorial though neither of those times had truly been him returning. However, his second return had inevitably led him to this exact place at this exact moment. As he made it even closer, he suddenly felt a strong chill run through his entire body that was completely unrelated to the weather. It was a feeling of dread and his mind suddenly went numb at the possibility that something was terribly wrong. This fact was made abundantly clear when he finally made it to the tower and found the charred remains of more Slade-bots than he could count surrounding the tower. Burnt robotic limps, heads, and torsos lied uselessly on the ground and it was clear that the tower was completely locked down by the fact that steel plating was down over every window and entrance. Richard could fell his heart stop beating in his chest as Nightwing reminded him of his presence by laughing manically in his mind.

"See what happens when you are weak. Slade came here because of you. Slade came here because you came here, because you wanted to return here. This is all your fault Richard." Richard gripped his head as the laughing echoed loudly in his mind.

"No! Stop! Raven has to be okay, she just has to. The Tower security had to stand up, she has to be safe inside."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself to try and deny the truth, exactly what you say I tried to do." Richard ran to the tower door and found that it was not blocked with impenetrable steel though it had not been broken down. This confused Richard greatly. Had the door been open from the outside or the inside? He slowly pushed the door open, pulling out a birdarang, ready for anything. The main room of the tower was dark yet Richard could tell that all the objects in the room were scattered in places they shouldn't have been, some completely smashed. A majority of the objects seemed to lie in a particular area of the floor across the room. Richard was positive that a battle had been fought here, and that what he was seeing was the aftermath of Raven's telekinetic powers at work, yet what worried him right now was that there was no Raven to be seen. He crept quietly through the room looking for some type of sign of Raven, his whole body ready to strike if any more robots appeared, or if Slade appeared. His body was ready, his instincts leading his body, yet he was having trouble paying attention to his surroundings. Nightwing continued to laugh in his mind, occasionally insulting or mocking him, telling him that he had failed again, that Raven was probably already dead at the hands of Slade. Richard fought to keep the words from effecting him but he knew that they were. Until he saw Raven safe, until he was holding her in his arms again, he knew that he deserved whatever was said to him. He could feel himself slowly slipping again into the darkness, slowly embracing his hatred and rage toward Slade, slowing falling into what he was fighting so hard against. He needed to find Raven, he needed to find her now.

A small bit of light flickered on the other side of the room and Richard crept toward it. It was the main computer for the security system. The screen flickered on only occasionally illuminating its surrounding area. The screen was cracked across and was of no more functional use. However, the screen provided all it needed with its light. In the wall next to it, pinned to the wall with a sharp metal S, the symbol of Slade, was Raven's cloak. Robin clenched his fists as Nightwing insanely laughed at the situation. He reached up and pulled the S from the wall freeing the cloak pulling it into his hands. Something small and soft fell unseen to the ground as removing the cloak from the wall revealed small, clear words written in what only could be blood, Raven's blood. Richard could tell the words were written cruelly and methodically by the only being alive who would leave such a message for him.

Robin, I do apologize for the mess. This is only the first piece of her to be removed if you do not learn to follow orders. I shall be in touch very soon.

Richard felt that same chill he had felt when he approached the tower return only this time it was far stronger, causing his entire body to shake. He was slightly confused by the words until he looked down at his feet. There lied a small piece of bloody flesh that had fallen to the ground. Even in the low light, Richard recognized exactly what it was. Nightwing's sadistic laugh screamed in his mind. Richard dropped to his knees, eyes clenched shut as he tried to fight off the laughter, as he tried to fight off the pain. A single tear tried to free itself from his body but he pushed it back. A weak voice managed to escape his lips as he spoke only to himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Raven P.O.V:

I felt myself slowly awakening though I was having trouble distinguishing reality. Whatever Slade had used on me had made me mostly lose feeling in my entire body and had made my vision and mind hazy and dark. I couldn't even focus on my surroundings or my powers. A sudden burst of light hit me in the face though I still could not focus on what it was though the voice I heard was clear.

"I see you are finally awake." I did my best to glare at where I thought the voice came from which only made Slade laugh.

"Now did I really deserve that look. You should be thanking me Raven. A lesser gentleman might have taken advantage of such a beautiful, scantily clad woman when she was unconscious and chained to a wall." I made an attempt to try and say something back at Slade but was surprised when I couldn't form coherent words. I wanted to blame the drug still affecting me for not being able to correctly respond but a dark, sad feeling in the back of my mind told me differently. I felt my entire body lose its strength as I fell over though the chains kept me where I was, digging into the soft flesh of my wrists, but that pain mattered little to me. I clenched back tears as I realized what Slade had taken from me. He had cut out my tongue. That bastard had cut out my tongue. My sadness quickly turned to anger. I knew I could not use my full power without being able to fully pronounce my words of magic but I still had power that could be accessed without those words. I tried to phase out of the chains only to find pain shooting through my entire body. My body shook and eventually collapsed back over.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk Raven. Would you really think I wouldn't have every possibility covered? Those chains will prevent you from using the power you can still use despite your most recent handicap. There a little something I came up with years ago when I still considered you a threat, though they are slightly modified now. The electrical jolts are strong, but they won't kill you. They will never be strong enough to kill you no matter how many times you feel it. I need you alive." I hung there uselessly, listening to Slade's words. Never one to give up, I tried again to use my powers only to find the same result. I forced back a scream of pain. I wouldn't give Slade the satisfaction of hearing me scream.

"You really should stop that Raven. You always were the logical one. You should already realize how pointless it is to try and use your powers." I did not move at all. I heard his heavy footsteps approach me. He lowered himself so that he was speaking directly into my ear. I could feel his breath through his mask slit and it made me want to vomit.

"You are mine now Raven and you will be here for a very, very long time if I deem it necessary. I will use you to regain my apprentice and all you have to do is suffer ." The last words were hissed out. I felt him start walking away but his footsteps finally stopped. Once again his voice was heard.

"I realized years ago when I first made Robin my apprentice, that I had made a mistake. I had underestimated Robin. He was willing to die for his friends. If I was to kill you, he would gladly die with you. The second time I tried, all the time I spent with Robin showed me that he is not afraid to die, that he has no value of his own life anymore though he still has a purpose, his only purpose is to kill me now. I thought this was true yet I was wrong again and you just know how much I hate admitting I'm wrong. He still has you Raven. A strong part of him still lives for you. It is this fact that has finally showed me the way to gain my apprentice back." I felt the room grow cold as Slade stopped speaking for a few seconds.

"There are far worse things I can do to a person rather than killing them Raven, and if Robin does not cooperate with me, you shall feel them all. He will join me or you will suffer but you will never die, I will make sure of that. Whether it takes months or even years, you will pay for every piece of his continuing insolence through pain. He was willing to die if you died years ago, lets see if he's willing to live as my apprentice if it means keeping you safe, keeping you from unimaginable pain. Your tongue was only the first piece Raven. Lets she just how many pieces it takes for Robin to finally see my truth." Dark laughter filled the air as I heard a heavy metal door slam, taking all the light in the room with it. I hung there in the dark, completely alone, completely powerless, missing a piece of my flesh, praying that I would see Richard again but it all felt so cold, so very cold.