Courage chapter 4
But things didn't get better.
At least, not right away.
Without his knives and daggers (Navi having made him promise to get rid of them), he felt bereft, empty. The pain was still there, more than ever, filling him with emptiness, everything inside him corroding into lonliness, a lonliness that could not be healed. He took to staring out the window for long periods of each day, not moving, barely even breathing, his eyes unfocusing. He could not see, hear, or feel anything when he did that. But at least he was safe…
Navi awoke from a nap one day to find the windowseat unoccupied, the slight depression from Link's butt no longer even warm. A bolt of blind panic went through her, shocking her into action. She tried not to panic or scream as she searched the house for him. Perhaps he was in the kitchen getting a snack…
The kitchen was empty as well. Empty as Link's heart, with nobody around to love… the poor boy. I have to find him! Next she tried his bedroom, with still nothing. Then, it hit her. The lightning panic turned to cold fear in the pit of her tiny stomach as she checked the scabbord where he kept his Kokiri sword—the one blade she'd let him keep. As she had feared, empty. Crying, she flew blindly through the house, screaming his name. "Link! LINK! LINK! COME BACK TO ME! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE AGAIN, LINK, LINK!" Her tiny eyes closed as her tiny memories replayed once more:
Navi sat in the cold rain, hugging herself tightly, her wings drenched. She looked on as the others sat under a large leaf, playing telephone. She ached to join them, but she knew she could not. She'd naively tried a few times before, only to be shoved out into the rain again. She was… different, the same way Link was different from his friends. She observed as the big children playing in the hollow log, a favorite fort to play in, and wondered what it was like to be connected to someone like that. She felt a deep yearning inside her, a lonliness that had no name. She had contemplating bashing her head against a rock once before. If she just flew hard enough and fast enough, it would all be over….
But the Deku Tree, her wise Father, had cautioned her to wait. He told her that she was destined for something far greater than any of her fairy peers, if she could just hold on long enough. And hold on she had.
"Link…" She cried harder, darting out of the hut. "You don't have to be alone…. You're destined for great things… just please, hold on, hold on!" Sobbing hysterically, she didn't even see where she was going until she hit something HARD. Before she blacked out, she saw his face before her once more, and knew that at least she would be going to be with him, her Boy—no, better than that, her Man.
"Navi? Navi, are you alright? Navi, talk to me!" The faces swirled around her: the Deku Tree, whom she had failed and allowed to die. Link, who she had failed and allowed to hurt so bad…and who was she kidding, he was probably dead too. Din, Farorea, Naryu… her Mothers, whom she had failed by failing in her duty. "Forgive me…"
"NAVI!" With that, she was brought back to consciousness, a rather ill looking Link holding her, calling to her, tears welling up. "I've killed her, I've killed her!"
"No.. Link… LINK! Link, I'm okay! I'm okay…. What happened, I thought you were… were…."
He smiled a bit, sadly. "I decided that the only fitting way for one such as me to die would be impaled on my own sword. But this… this is no longer my sword. So I was going to get the Master Sword." He paused then, peering down at her. "Navi… are you…. Crying?"
"don't you see, Link… you're everything to me. You're all I have, please, don't leave me alone! It was so horrible being alone, you have to know, you were alone too, please, don't leave me! Even if you think you're horrible, let's finish it. If we're going to die, let's die together, in battle, a hero's death. Just don't leave me!"
"A hero's death… yeah." His voice was very soft, hardly even a whisper, then it got a bit stronger. "yeah…" the next time he spoke, moments later, he sounded like his old self again. "Yeah. C'mon, Nav, let's go save Hyrule." He smiled, holding her out at arm's length in a pose, and she could see that he'd grabbed his gear, and looked like his old self again. But as they went to the Temple of Time, she silently swore to herself never ever again to miss that look behind his façade of strength, that look in his blue eyes that said that he was barely holding on, clinging tightly to something so he wouldn't lose it and fail everyone. I promise you, Link. I won't let you fall again. Never ever again. Neither of us will ever have to be alone again.
