Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings.

Warning: There's quite a bit of drinking in this chapter, as this is the chapter with the party and the drinking contest!

Chapter 26: The Banquet

"So Harry, Ron," said Fred cheerfully as they rode to Edoras, "What've you been up to while we were gone?"

"You first," replied Harry, "Considering we ran all through Middle Earth trying to find you, and Gandalf didn't provide us with too many details."

"Yeah, I want to hear all about this attack on Isengard myself," said Ron.

"Well, if you insist," said Fred, taking a deep breath, and began, "It was a dark and stormy night…"

"Actually, I thought it was pretty sunny out," said Pippin.

"Who's telling the story, you or me?"

"Well considering I'm the one who saved your sorry necks with my brilliant plan…"

"And won't let us forget it," hissed George under his breath.

"It was your idea to attack Isengard!" asked Harry in surprise. From what he had remembered of Pippin, he'd thought the hobbit was never too good at coming up with brilliant schemes.

"Actually," Merry cut in, "It was all our idea to rouse up the Ents. Pippin was simply the one who figured out how to go about doing that."

"Yeah, I'm not THAT stupid," added Pippin.

"You sure love to hide that from us, don't you Pip?" said Fred with a wink, "Now I'll just continue with my story if you don't mind…"

Harry and Ron listened, intrigued, as the Fearsome Foursome related their time with the Uruks, how they had escaped, when they met Treebeard, the Entmoot, and finally, the battle between the trees and orcs.

"So that's how the forest came to life and killed all those fleeing Uruk-hai," said Harry.

"Yeah, we saw them leave," said George.

"Who knew trees had it in them?" muttered Ron.

Fred winked again. "Never underestimate the power of trees," he said, "They know all…"

"Now tell us what's been happening to you," said George.

So Harry and Ron told them about how they had finally met up again, and how they had found Gandalf, took back Edoras from Saruman's control, fled to Helm's Deep, and eventually defeated the Uruk army.

"Wow…" said Fred.

"And here I thought we had it rough," said George, stunned.

"You have no idea," said Ron.

"Look!" cried Pippin, "Is that Edoras?"

Ron and Harry looked up. "Yep," they replied.

"Race you," said Fred. He kicked his horse and it dashed off, Merry yelling in surprise from behind him at the sudden change of speed.

"Not fair!" yelled Ron, nudging Telien and speeding off. Harry and George with Pippin followed quickly.

The others watched them race. Gandalf rolled his eyes. "They act like foolish children at times…"

Aragorn laughed. "Well they do deserve to have some fun; after all they've been through."

"I suppose so," said the old wizard gruffly.

They continued to watch as Ron began to pull ahead of the others. Legolas suddenly grinned at Gimli. "Come on," he said, "Let's get back at him for Helm's Deep!"

"Don't even think about-ARRRGH!" Gimli roared as Arod suddenly plunged forward at top speed.

Even Gandalf suppressed a chuckle as they rode on, hearing Ron's shouts, "HEY! HEY! YOU LITTLE SHOW-OFFS, JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN HERE LONGER THAN ME, AND I BEAT YOU AT HELM'S DEEP…YOU CAN'T ENTER A RACE LIKE THAT YOU CHEATERS, YOU…AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

For Arod had just "accidentally" rammed into Telien and sent Ron flying. He landed sprawled on the ground, the wind completely knocked out of him. "You…" he gasped, "You…just wait…I'll get both of you…I swear…" And he watched helplessly as the others raced past him into Edoras.

George turned to Pippin. "I have an idea about how to beat them," he said, jerking his head towards Legolas and Gimli, "If you're willing to try the Harry maneuver."

"What's the Harry maneuver?" asked Pippin.

George whispered it to him. Pippin paled. "No way," he said.

"Would you rather lose?"

"Well…no."

"Then do it!"

Pippin waited until they were close enough, then clumsily climbed up George, balanced himself, and then jumped off the startled horse!

Fred actually stopped his horse to watch as Legolas turned around in time to see a screaming Pippin collide with him. All three of them fell off Arod and tumbled to the ground.

"Ha! Direct hit!" yelled George, pumping the air with his fist and stopping to scoop up Pippin before continuing towards the gates. "We win!"

"Not quite," said Harry, smirking from the shadows, "You guys really need to spend more time concentrating on riding then on cheating!"

"But…but…but…" stuttered George.

"It served you right," said Legolas, coming up from behind, "Cheating like that."

"Look who's talking," snarled Ron.

"Enough!" said an angry voice. They all turned around to see Gandalf looking at them sternly. "I understand that you all need to have some fun now and then, but you could have seriously hurt each other! I want no more of this dangerous nonsense!"

"Yes Mum," muttered Fred under his breath, so the wizard couldn't hear.


It was evening in the wilderness, and Hermione was having trouble sleeping. She could hear Gollum muttering in his sleep nearby, so at least she wasn't alone.

Come on, she thought wearily, Think of something, that'll help distract your consciousness… So she started thinking about Harry and the others and wondering how they were doing. She hoped they weren't getting into too much trouble, but maybe they really could take care of themselves…

It was working; Hermione felt herself drifting off. Right as her eyelids began to droop, she thought she heard a cry, but then heard Gollum hissing, "Quiet! Mustn't wake them!"

It's only Sméagol, she thought sleepily, Probably having nightmares… Then everything turned black.


Meanwhile in Rohan, nobody was feeling too sleepy. The atmosphere was very festive, and, as with all celebrations, Fred, George, Merry and Pippin were leading the pack!

After a solemn moment in which everyone remembered the people who had died in the battle at Helm's Deep, food was brought out and the banquet began, Ron eating as much as any hobbit. Then…

"DANCE PARTY!" yelled Fred.

Quite a few people cheered. At the twins' encouragement, a few of the musicians struck up a fast, joyful tune. A lot of the younger women seemed very eager to dance with Fred and George, and within a few minutes Harry was wondering how they had gotten so good.

Aragorn watched the party with growing enthusiasm, but then he saw something that made the grin slide off his face. Eowyn was approaching, and she looked like she was about to do the inevitable: ask him to dance.

His heart started to beat faster and he broke out in a sweat. What was he going to do? He certainly didn't want to hurt Eowyn's feelings, he liked her a lot and she had suffered enough in her life, but still…he loved Arwen…and he had never considered himself to be a good dancer…Eowyn drew closer.

"HEY RON!" called George, suddenly and exuberantly, "Why don't you go dance with Eowyn? I'll bet she'd LOVE it if you asked her!"

Eowyn turned deep red, muttered something about going to bring out more food, and fled. George danced closer to Aragorn.

"You owe me one," he said simply.

Aragorn smiled and nodded in thanks. Harry looked around to see what Ron thought of the whole thing. But it seemed that Ron wasn't paying any attention at all. He was sitting at a table with Legolas, Gimli, Eomer, and a gigantic barrel full of ale. Harry headed over to them.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Drinking game," replied Eomer, rolling his eyes in an amused sort of way.

"Last one standing wins!" said Gimli with a wild, eager laugh.

A girl by the name of Rilasseth was currently dancing with Fred. Her shrieks of laughter suddenly changed to a cry of pain as he dropped her.

"Drinking contest?" he asked excitedly, "Count me in!"

"Me too!" yelled George, "Don't worry ladies, we'll be back to dance with you later!" he called behind to the disappointed moans of the girls.

"I wouldn't bet on it," muttered Harry as the twins eagerly grabbed large mugs.

"Wait!" called Pippin, running forward, "We need your help!"

"What for?" asked Fred.

"Merry and I want to…er…provide a bit of entertainment I guess…"

"Say no more," said George, and both boys got up and followed Merry and Pippin into a separate room.

Harry turned back to watch the drinking contest, growing more entertained by the mug.

Ron and Gimli were trading insults with each other. "Ever drank before boy?" growled Gimli.

"Only butterbeer, and a little firewhiskey," replied Ron sheepishly.

"You never told me you drank firewhiskey…" Harry started to say, but neither Ron nor Gimli paid any attention to him.

"As I suspected," said Gimli triumphantly, "Butterbeer! What sort of nonsense is that?"

"You'd like it if you tried it," replied Ron.

"Yeah well, that won't exactly help you now will it boy? It's obvious that I can hold in more than you…" Gimli trailed off, as his mug hit the floor with a crash, and he slid off the seat, unconscious.

Legolas smiled mischeviously, "I guess it's down to you and me, my friend!"

"Bring it on!" roared Ron, pounding the table.

Legolas just continued to smile and held out for another mug, which Eomer happily supplied. This should be easy, he thought.


Hermione had just fallen asleep when she was rudely awakened by the sounds of Sam's yells and Gollum's shrieks. She was up in a flash, thinking they were being attacked. So it was not too surprising that fear turned to anger and frustration when she saw what was really going on. Those two! she thought fiercely, Bickering all the time, when we could all be getting some much needed sleep! She also noticed that they had actually woken up Frodo; he had actually gotten some sleep for once, and that only made her angrier.

"Both of you STOP!" she yelled, getting in between them. "Now tell me what's going on!"

This seemed to be the wrong thing to say, both were pointing at the other, their voices getting progressively louder.

"STOP!" Hermione screamed again. She pointed at Gollum. "Explain," she said fiercely. Frodo hung back, looking thunderstruck at her ability to handle an argument so effectively. But Dumbledore had not named Hermione Granger a Gryffindor prefect for nothing.

"The fat hobbit attacked poor Sméagol," wailed Gollum, "He hates us!"

"You filthy LIAR!" roared Sam.

"Sam," said Hermione, trying to keep her voice steady, "Perhaps you'd like to give your side of the story?"

"I heard it from his own mouth: he means to murder us!" cried Sam desperately.

"What!" asked Hermione, amid Gollum's shrieking that it was all lies, "Are you sure you weren't having a bad dream, Sam?"

"IT WASN'T A NIGHTMARE!" shouted Sam, and Hermione was suddenly reminded of Ron shouting at McGonagall in their third year, trying to prove that Sirius Black really had entered his dormitory with a knife…maybe…maybe Sam was telling the truth about Gollum all along.

But Frodo butted in at this point, trying to be the voice of reason. They simply couldn't turn Gollum loose at this point. Hermione knew he was right, they did need a guide, and Gollum was the only one who could show them. Besides, he knew too much. If he fell in the hands of the Enemy…

Still, Hermione may've been imagining it, now being extremely tired, but she could've sworn Gollum had a triumphant look on his face, gloating to himself as Frodo led him away from Sam.


"ANOTHER ONE THEN!" roared Ron. Quite a crowd had gathered at this point, growing rowdier by the minute. Harry and Eomer didn't dare look at each other, or they would've burst out laughing.

Neither Legolas nor Ron had given in yet. And the more they drank, the crazier they got.

"Great party," said Ron, gazing around the hall vaguely and chuckling, "I remember the time we had a ball at school, I asked a veela to go with me once, did you know that?"

"What's a veela?" asked Legolas with a grin.

"Really beautiful women…yeah, absolutely gorgeous…anyway…I asked one out y'know!"

"And what happened?" asked Legolas.

"She looked at him as if he were a giant slug and didn't answer at all!" Harry cut in. The men roared with laughter. Ron looked outraged.

"Ha ha, I remember you being one of the last ones to find a partner…"

In a side room from the party, the Fearsome Foursome were once again discussing battle tactics.

"All right, put it in his drink, and remember, if you fail, no more Exploding Snap," said Fred in a stage whisper.

Pippin nodded gravely. The stakes had just been raised.

Eomer did not notice a little hobbit getting closer and closer to the barrel of ale. "Eomer, get me another one over here!" yelled Ron, growing more and more excited.

Eomer nodded, filled another mug, and then…

"Whoops!" Pippin slipped and bumped into Eomer, knocking him over. He rolled over near the fallen mug and bent over it to pick it up. "Here you go Eomer," he said cheerfully.

"Thank you," said Eomer, and put some new drink in the mug.

"Ah yes," said Ron happily, taking it and swallowing the entire contents in one gulp. One moment he looked delighted, the next he started choking and gasping as his tongue began to swell…

Someone had obviously put something in Ron's drink, and there was no doubt in Harry's mind as to who. Sure enough, nearby, Fred, George and Merry were all doubled over laughing and slapping Pippin on the back.

"Do not be alarmed, dear friends!" George called out merrily as Harry ran over to help Ron, who had fallen out of his seat, clutching his tongue, "You have just witnessed the effects of powdered Ton-Tongue Toffee! Harry shall sort it out in a second…"

"But meanwhile, it looks like Legolas is the winner!" yelled Merry. Everyone cheered, even as Legolas went over to see if Ron was all right.

"He'll be fine, it's nothing I can't fix," said Harry, waving his wand and muttering, "Reducio!" Ron grinned weakly and then passed out.

"Well he would've lost anyway," said Legolas, with a smirk of satisfaction.

"That was crazy though," said Harry. Now that the game was over, it appeared that his common sense had returned. "You guys should've stopped a long time ago!"

"Here," said Fred, who had just come over, "I really can't believe I'm saying this, but looking at Ron now I think you guys did get carried away. Have some of this," he said to Legolas, handing him a small bottle.

"What's this?" asked Legolas, staring at the bottle suspiciously.

"A drinking antidote," he replied calmly, "George and I had to invent them or Mum would've found our secret stash of firewhiskey ages ago…and you should give Ron some too when he wakes up Harry."

"Good idea," said Harry, "I think I'd better put him to bed now."

"Theoden gave us a room," said Legolas, "It's the same one as last time; the one Aragorn put Gimli in a while ago."

"Thanks," said Harry, hoisting Ron on his shoulders and dragging him away. When he reached the room he was startled to find Pippin digging through some packs. "What's up?" he asked, dropping Ron on his pile of blankets. (There were so many guests coming that Theoden didn't have enough beds, so they had to make do with makeshift sleeping bags. Ron hadn't slept in his old room, claiming he wasn't leaving his friends now that he had found them again.)

Pippin jumped. "Oh, er, hi Harry!" he said.

"What are you doing?" asked Harry curiously.

"Nothing! Just looking for something…er…see you around…great party huh?" And Pippin ran out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Harry stared at the door, completely confused. What had Pippin been doing in other people's packs? And why couldn't he look with Harry in the room? What was he hiding?

A/N: I apologize for not updating. There's really no excuse, except for that wonderful night in which I got Book 6! What did you guys think?

To my most patient reviewers:

Aussie-Girl3: That song was actually indirectly inspired to me by another reviewer, Sukki-Alderea, I forgot to mention that. I'm glad you liked it!

Eclipse: Poor, poor Ron. Now he's gone and gotten himself just like his brothers! LOL Hermione's starting to scold Frodo and Sam the way she does with Harry and Ron, but what did you think of her in this chapter?

MischeviousPuck: Ginny will be in the next chapter. I'm happy to hear you love the Fearsome Foursome, maybe I should do a spin-off story with them? Hmmm…

Lauren546: Darn it! And here I was hoping I could write 'No reviewers were hurt or injured in the making of this fanfic!' Well I guess that just went out the window! LOL

Tom Riddle Charlie: They do like to sing don't they? Unlike a lot of boys I know!

Insanechildfanfic: Thank you!

Kaladelia Undomiel: First stoned, now drunk, what are we going to do with those boys? Hehe, the pact between Gimli and Legolas and Saruman's smoke thing are examples of parts of the book I found, read, and liked. I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, I really am!

Catwraith: Thanks! Ginny's in the next chapter!

Lisa Riddle: I'm trying, but I'm not really good at writing romance! At least I'm not using as many movie lines as I might've done if I hadn't learned better from other reviewers. Thank you for the constructive criticism though, I appreciate it because it helps me a lot with my stories!

Padfoot124: Yup, I'm putting in as many alternated scenes as possible. I really loved the extended edition of the Return of the King!

Darknesscomes: Your rhymes are better than mine. I couldn't write poetry to save my life! LOL Thanks for your review!

Brandy Lebeau: Oh that scene! I dunno why I didn't put it in, now that I stop and think about it…I'll try to speed up the chapters from now on, but I won't make any promises in case I can't keep them!

Genvessel: Fred and George are the best! I love them too! Personally I think it'd be kind of cool if Wormtail experienced a change of heart and helped Harry kill Voldemort. He does owe him one.

Winter Queen: Well, in the area of romance, you've come to the right place, because I am a HUGE H/G shipper! In the beginning I thought it would be awesome if Voldemort and Sauron were working together, but it couldn't work because how could he have gone through the time portal? I kind of wish I had done it now, because I don't think many fics have the villains collaborate, and that would be the most ultimate challenge for the heroes! I must consider doing this in future fics! I'm not making that mistake again, unless I have no choice!

Eleniel of the Stars: Ooo, I'll have to read that! I liked By the Power of the Stars, but it's ok if you don't want to do it anymore. I think Fred and George with Merry and Pippin is my favorite part of the fic to write! Could you imagine a movie or book written by JKR or JRR Tolkien all about Fred, George, Merry, and Pippin? I'd spend my money on something like that any day!

Brownie/Melody: Of course I continued with the Return of the King! I wouldn't leave you all hanging; I'm not that cruel! I'm glad you like it!