Title: Demons from the past
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.
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You could almost hear the air move in the room, it was so silent.
" I know why."
Buffy could see their shocked faces as the heavy silence was broken by such a casual calm tone. They all thought she would lose her cool.
think again
"I mean I get it. I get why you hate Spike. I understand why you don't want to give him the chance. I know why you don't trust him."
While she was talking she had moved from the dining room entrance to the other side of the table across from Xander. Each word was said in a seriousness that the slayer rarely used. From the looks on everyone's face she could tell all ears were trained on her, and everyone was waiting to speak when they knew she would allow them to.
" But why don't you trust me?"
By everyone's confused expressions it looked as if they hadn't been expecting that. Even Xander, who's face had slowy gone from a shocked expression to one preparing to defend an argument, seemed caught off guard.
After all his talk
Before Xander got a chance to retort after collecting himself Giles cut in.
"Buffy perhaps we should talk about this in private..."
Apparently the shock of the whole Spike-being-back-oh-did-I-forget-to-mention-he-tried-to-rape-buffy debacle had worn off and her watcher finally figured this might bet a conversation not to be had in front of strangers.
too late
She turned her face to him and he stopped before he could say anything else. He was speaking out of turn. The slayer was speaking and none of them were to speak out of turn.
"I'm not so sure, I think it would do us all good to get this out. Set the record straight for everyone. Because then one of my closest friends doesn't trust me, I think it's something we need to hear. I mean you all are coming to me, making it my job to squash this. Your lives depend on me, on what I do to protect you. You are all trusting my judgment and leadership to keep all of you safe from a very painful death."
Buffy while speaking had been facing each one of them, staring into their eyes. Making sure she had them, quiet and listening. Some of them were reacting differently to this and she could see it in their faces. Their thoughts almost blaring through their expressions. Jarod held his face in place but the respect he had shown her was all the more bright. That same respect was going through the other watchers face including Giles. Well a little less so with Winthrop but still the same. Each potential carried with their gaze a certain sense of awe, some less than others, did Kennedy want her job that much? But most of all there was trepidation.
Everyone knew that she was on the edge, and if anyone were to push her, she might snap, and not one of them there wanted to deal with a pissed off slayer. Though the look that Faith gave her said more than words, she was giving her space out of respect, but the rogue slayer was willing to defend them all if need be. Buffy couldn't tell but she thought for a second she saw a flicker understanding in Faith's face. The slayers gaze finally fell on Xander and pushed on.
" So when one of my best friends, someone whose known me longer than anyone, who I trust, starts telling you that I can't do the job right, that you can't trust my judgement, then they need to know why. So, why? Is it because I won't kill Spike?"
The last line brought out Xanders anger, and with it a blind eye to the dangerous ground he was walking.
"Kill. KILL! You're talking like he's a person, like he's a human being. He's a vampire Buffy. He killed people. Men, women, children, by the thousands and it didn't matter to him that they had family or friends. That demon nearly killed me, my friends, all for the fun of it, hell I watched while he killed your sister. Spike has hurt people I love and used them to hurt me, and you still won't stake his ass. You know all this Buffy! So ask me again, ask me why!"
Buffy stood still. Taking it all in and deep down she understood where he was coming from. And in that moment the slayer felt heart warm, then be torn by frustration. The man in front of her, though sometimes hurtful, was always looking out for them, it made her feel a pride at the fact he was her friend. At the same time it frustrated her to no end when she realized she couldn't say anything to get through to him. Nothing she could say could really tell him what she had seen in the vampire, what he had become. Buffy had a feeling that after the speech he just gave she would be alone in this.
Someone up there was looking out for her cause her friend's strong voice came through.
"He saved your life. During the summer Buffy was gone."
Xander whipped his head round and stared at the Vengeance demon. The words looked like they were caught in the gears, cause he obviously wasn't understanding them. Buffy almost smiled, maybe she couldn't make him see, but maybe they could.
"But that shouldn't matter does it, saving one life doesn't mean much when you've got thousands that you killed behind you. What about me Xander, would you kill me."
Xander himself had the decency to look down at Anya's statement. The Potentials and Watchers wore confused expressions while the Scoobies held something more grim. All of them had thought about it at one point or another, ever since she became a demon again, they had to think about whether or not they would have to kill her if she ever came after them. Buffy saw her chance.
"Not so simple anymore is it."
The young man in front of her didn't look so young anymore stared straight into her eyes. His now filling with tears as he understood that things weren't as cut and dry as he tried to think. That the things that seem so simple, are usually the most complicated. When his eyes returned to the table in front of him Buffy knew he gave in, at that moment she mentally sighed in relief and turned to the rest of the group.
Time to cap it all off
"I don't make excuses for what Spike's done or what he is. I don't expect any of you to actually trust him. I'm asking you to trust me, or if your not willing, I'm asking you to leave. I can't lead you if you're not willing, and I'm not going to waste time trying to convince you. We're at war, our lives hang by a thread and I can't be looking over my shoulder to see if someone's going to cut my legs out from under me."
Taking one more good long look she finished.
"It's late, lets all get some sleep."
Everyone in the room except the scoobies started filing out to their respective sleeping bags. While they left the slayer never took her eyes off Xander, who still stared at the table.
Buffy never felt this defeated before. Considering all the things in her life, all the beatings, the fighting, every betrayal she's felt, very few measured up to right now. Cause she was starting to understand what he meant, what he said about not trusting them. They all talked about his betrayal, when they had cut the legs out from under him more than once. They all saw that he tried to be better, none of them could deny that, but they went on treating him like an animal.
It's not like he didn't give them a reasons not to trust him.
This wasn't even about that anymore. This wasn't keeping scores, if it was then they would have kept him at arms length instead of letting him in only to throw him out. This was something else, those reasons, though good enough, were something they were hiding behind. All of them had somehow started using those reasons as excuses to use him. The group has a right to be cautious around him, and even prepare, if not expect him to double cross them, but that didn't allow for them to treat him like an animal, then get angry when he acted like one.
"I think it best if we limit our contact with Spike.."
"Slice-n-Dice. He's not Spike anymore."
The words felt true, but at the same time tasted bitter in her mouth. The Spike she knew was there, only changed irreversibly.
Buffy almost missed the tear fall down Dawns cheek.
"Whatever the case may be, I think it best if we limit our contact on a need basis."
There was a pause in his voice.
"Buffy...what he said...what Spike tried...is it true?"
The slayer steeled herself, trying to figure out what to say, how to answer such a question from someone who deserved an honest answer. Finally her quiet words broke one of the many awkward silences of the day.
"It's between me and him, no one else."
Xander who hadn't looked up that whole evening finally met her gaze. In her peripheral Buffy could see her watch nod and the rest of the group leave the room. When they were alone, the noises of the house slowly settling, they continued to stare at each other. Finally Xander left, hesitating at the door to leave a small I'm sorry before finding a place on the couch.
Standing alone Buffy let her tears fall.
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AN: Hey everybody, I'm done with this chapter and I hope you like it.
The next chapter, for those of you who read before I added "Secrets that should have stayed secrets" will notice that this is the chapter I replaced. Explanation:I felt that chapter could have used a bit more behind it so I added a couple chapters.
Anywho I always advocate rereading the entire story so that you have a good feel for where the chapters are coming from. and as always...
REVIEW! I COMMAND IT AS LORD OF THE OOMPA-LOOMPAS!!!!!!
