Title: Demons from the past
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:Not smart enough, or enough money so it ain't mine. DAMN YOU WHEDON!
Summary: My first real sequel, all others have been fakes, kind of an AU of S7 so a bit more original than most.
The Darkness surrounds
Like suffocating in tar
slow to move and completely blind
It's a place she been before, only different, back then the ink seeped in, filling and rolling through her veins. Now it only flowed around, pressing in, to the point where she couldn't breath. The voice was calling to her, like a lover from long before, it's voice dark and seductive. Asking to be let in, but she knew what layed behind it, what it would do if it gained control. So for a moment the struggle to keep from answering consumed her.
But there was something else, something in the distance of the void that drew her attention. Things outside but intimately connected the the oil flowing around her. Remembering her meditation technique, the distance began to shorten. As Willow drew closer voices began to fade in.
-You do realize what you're going to have to do, all those young girls...-
The witch shuddered, she recognized the tint, the same one she possessed once before. When she swam through the dark magics, she saw the evil in a southern drawl..
-As far as I'm concerned, if they're helping him, they're no better.-
The pain in the other was hard to find, but ran deep into it's presence. But it stopped suddenly, like something was blocking anyone from going any further. Magic of a different kind.
-A wonderful sense of righteousness, a quality to admire, with a position such as yours.-
Willow stared sightlessly, feeling like she needed a shower just from listening to the conversation.
-Yeah well, someone's got to know where the line is. You cross it, and there's no going back.-
The sentence pierced through the blackness, making the memories come flooding back, everything that had been done, everything she had done.
-Truer words have never been said.-
The act of ripping out of there, almost painful, came when Willow's eyes flew open. Stomach muscles contracting, she flew up, eyes shooting all around her, finding light and shape. Slowly coming to the realization that she was in a room
"That Must have been one helluva dream to wake up like that Wills."
Her eyes focused on the figure sitting in the corner. Automatically recognizing the dark-haired slayer, even more so the sword lying on her lap. Faith noticed the direction of the redheads' stare, and for about two seconds looked like she was considering what to do. In the end Faith just smiled.
"Nothing to get excited over. Had it just in case you were still in your black haired bad ass episode and decided to start batting for the other side."
Willow shrinks in shame as the blood rushes to her face. She had lost it. Just let everything push her until she had snapped and fallen into an old habit. How would they all look at her now? He had said they would trust her cause she wouldn't lose control. But now...
A pain tinted grunt pulled her back from slipping into the debilitating guilt. Looking up she saw Faith hadn't left the room, sitting in the same place, trying to get comfortable. Willow noticed the slayer was favoring her shoulder trying to get it so the weight was taken off, probably trying to giving it a chance to heal properly.
When Faith finally found a position that didn't make the pain lance up her spine her eyes caught Willow looking at her. Almost immediately causing the witch to turn her eyes downward. Calling up whatever courage she had, Willow forced herself to speak, albeit quietly.
"Was anyone hurt?"
Faith, to her credit, didn't even hesitate or consider it.
"Mostly just nicks and cuts, lost one of the potentials, Sarah I think. Her watcher's doing the stone face thing, but it's obvious that he's hurtin. Jarod's at the hospital getting his leg checked out. Kinda wish I was there you know, see him in one of those hospital gowns with the opening in the back, maybe finally get to see that fine..."
"You know what I meant."
The slayer's face soured a bit, her line of thought about the watcher's physique broken. looking at the red head for a moment, tempted to come back with the automatic stinging words, but in that moment the anger went out of her, and suddenly felt like she was the last person to deal out recriminations. Even if said witch was the cause of her current headache.
"Nothing too bad, anyone close to the action got knocked on their asses, other than a few headaches no one's dead. Could have been worse if you ask me"
"Almost no one."
Her whisper put the silence between them. Willow looked down, remembering why she had gone off the deep end. She could start to feel the clenching of her chest as she realized, even after all that, his death still hurt as much as it did before. It was starting to get progressively worse when Faith's voice dragged her out into the room.
"You mean tall-dark and demony, might be banged up, but definitely still kickin, at least thats what I think I saw."
Willows eyes were immediately on the slayer. Wordlessly imploring her, almost begging to go on.
"Way I figure S-n-D managed to save your hide when you were out. Didn't really get to see much of him. Buffy shoved you in my arms and told me to get out of there. Last I saw he was going toe to toe with the thing we were trying to stop from coming back. "
Of all the things Faith had said, only a few things had penetrated the noise whirling around in her head. Spike was alive, and even after she had lost control; she had failed to stop them from bringing the demon back.
"So that's why. Wow, I'd never figure you to go all ape shit over a demon biting the dust. I mean he was hot the last I heard but..."
Willow merely smiled at the brunette. She didn't quite understand it herself. Spike and her had much history it was almost terrifying. All of her friends knew her, and everyone had an idea about how bad she could be. But he was the only one who knew exactly how deep the dark ran. She had found strength from the fact he still was willing to forgive her. It gave her enough drive to keep going, even after things turned out so bad.
Now that was fractured, she had jumped off the edge. Luckily she hadn't fallen as far as could have before climbing back up. Now she was sitting there in a room with a person who had tried to kill her and all her friends. It's strange the people you relate to the most.
"You know who Spike was?"
Faith shifted slightly at the question.
"I think I saw him once."
"You didn't know him like I do, I don't think anyone really does; he was really frightening and sweet at the same time. He was annoying and, and didn't like us at first. He was strong, confidant, but like a lovesick puppy. He was a jerk but could, you know, have some kind of...integrity. All of this was him. And I took that away."
"I heard, sent a him to hell, but wills, he's a vamp, or at least was anyway. He was going there anyway. Angels the one with the bead on the whole redemption thing."
"But you don't get it, do you?"
She could tell her words had gotten the slayers attention. This is something the witch had to say, so that at least one person could understand completely.
"Faith, I killed him, over and over again, for an eternity. None of it was quick, every second of every day was pain. And it's not like hurting someone then just feeling guilty about it. I've seen it. I've felt it. I have it in my head and I know every single thing that was done to him there. "
Willow could see Faith was struggling with her own emotions. This was treading on a sore spot with the slayer. Bringing up all the things she herself had done, making her think about the guilt she had to deal with every day. But Willow couldn't stop, not even if she wanted to. It was all coming out and leaving the witch pleasantly hollow for the first time in what seemed like forever.
"An eternity of pain is my fault. And sometimes I feel like I'm drowning cause it's all just too much. And everyday the only thing that keeps me from just letting myself sink back into it is that he forgave me. After all that, I just failed again and..."
She couldn't go on. Couldn't describe anything else. Not without breaking down and falling into the dark despair the witch had to fight every day.
Faith just sat there, barely keeping her face the emotionless mask she normally wore. She watched as the redhead slowly pulled herself together.
For a moment the slayer saw a strength that made her look like a child. Almost like she didn't have a right to be depressed about her life. This girl, not even twenty-five had more put on her than anything she had seen, maybe even more than her and B.
Doing something she hadn't tried in so long, it almost seemed alien to her, she tried to recalled everything that made her life the way it was, all the things that made it good. What made it worth fighting for.
Very quietly, very firmly, she asked.
"What about Tara?"
The redheads eyes clinched at that, the memory as painful as anything she experienced.
"I'm the last person who should talk about love, wam bam. That's how I've always done it, probably how I'll always will."
Willow was looking at her now, almost afraid of the road this was going down. Never dared tread there cause of what might lay at the end.
"She loved you, I mean its obvious from the way people talk about you two, love like no other from what I hear. Looking down at us right now if I had to guess. She's probably saying "what the hell are you doin, get up, help your friends". Love, now that's something big. Don't get me wrong, forgiveness, great motivator, but coming from experience you have to have something more. Something not steeped in the guilt. she loved you and If nothing else you ought to do right by that. Even if it you think you don't deserve it, it's still a helluva lot more than what you got right now."
Willow had curled up a bit on the bed she was sitting on, listening. Staring at the blanket around her. Strange how she hadn't notice they were in what was once their bedroom for that horrible summer. Tara and hers. It brought a small smile to her face at the fact Faith was actually comforting her. But the slayer was right, striving for forgiveness will only get you so far. You had to have more. When Faith was done they sat there quietly, letting the words sink in. Finally looking back at the brunette, she whispered her thanks. The silence was interrupted by a shout that sounded like Giles was going to have kittens.
"Faith! Get Willow down here right now! "
Almost immediately they were up and heading down stairs. Figuring this was probably going to be the only time she could ask this question, Willow spoke.
"What do you believe in Faith?"
Without hesitation, Faith, neither looked or paused before answering her.
"That I can do something right."
AN: I redid this chapter because I wasn't really satisfied with it, so here it is. Reviews would be helpful but not required, and so I make another stab at finishing this piece of crap
