Chapter One
Author's Note: Wow! I realized I forgot to do a disclaimer! Okay, here we go. I don't own anything except myself. Nintendo, don't sue me.
Chapter? What's up with the chapters? Well, this story's divided into two chapters: the donut and the party. Okay? Got it.
Fox moved his piece around the board. "Oh, dear, Yoshi, looks like I bumped into your piece. SORRY!" He flicked Yoshi's piece so far, it landed in Roy's clothes drawer.
"I'll get it." Roy said quickly.
"Fox, every time you hit someone, don't scream SORRY! And please don't flick pieces in random directions."
"But that's what the game is called, right? SORRY!"
"Ay yi yi yi yi." Yoshi muttered. "Let's just go eat something."
"DONUTS!" Fox yelled. He charged at the donut box.
"Ooh. Which one should I eat? Strawberry cream, chocolate cream, vanilla cream, shaving cream…Oh, they have a new flavor! Glowing green cream!"
Fox picked up the donut and began to put it in his mouth, but Yoshi stopped him.
"Fox! Don't eat glowing green things! They're bad for you!"
"Hey, look. There's something on the box." said Roy. He picked up the note and read it. "Hmm…ok, let's see here…It says, SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Eating glowing green donuts has been linked to unnatural growth of hair, change in the color of your skin, brain cancer, tongue cancer, stomach cancer, heart cancer, liver cancer, finger cancer, intestine cancer, pancreas cancer, spleen cancer, appendix cancer, and various other kinds of cancers. The Donut Factory is not responsible for any health problems that may occur when eating glowing green donuts."
"See, Fox? You shouldn't eat…"
Where Fox and a glowing green donut had been, there was now Fox and some glowing green crumbs.
"See? I don't feel anything." Fox said.
"Let's get him to Dr. Mario." Yoshi muttered.
"Hmm. All right, first of all, change his clothes."
"Why?"
"Because he's emitting hazardous radioactive particles that could be dangerous to everyone around him. So he has to wear atomic-proof clothes."
Five minutes later…
"How many donuts did Fox eat?" Dr. Mario asked.
"One." Roy and Yoshi said.
"I see. Don't let him eat anymore, because whatever he touches will become radioactive. If he eats more, his power will double, triple, quadruple, uh…what comes next? Ah, you get the idea. So don't let him eat any more-"
"I ate five more glowing green donuts!" Fox announced, coming into the lab.
"Oh, dear. If he touches anything, it'll dematerialize. Keep him away from everything!"
"Really?" Fox said. He touched a potted plant and it exploded.
"COOL!" Fox yelled. He ran around touching random things. They all blew up.
"I'll have to put him in quarantine." Dr. Mario sighed. He took out a strange looking box and pushed a button on it. Fox started moving toward the box, and when he was in it, it locked itself.
"What happened?"
"That box attracts atomic energy. It'll keep him safe, but if you don't get an antidote within 24 hours, the box will break and he'll be mutated into an even more powerful form from all the radioactive energy."
Roy and Yoshi looked at each other.
"Cheerful. What's the antidote?"
"Well, lead repels atomic energy, so it's mostly lead. But, you'll also need some special acids to neutralize the donut particles inside his stomach, so I'll write a list of everything you need."
A minute later, Dr. Mario gave Roy and Yoshi a list of ingredients:
70 percent molten lead, 10 percent anti-atomic acid formula 1, 10 percent anti-atomic acid formula 2, and 10 percent anti-atomic acid formula number 4. Mix all ingredients together and pour half on the subject, then make subject drink the rest.
"What about anti-atomic acid formula number 3?" Yoshi asked.
"It was outlawed when the government discovered that its main ingredient was crack." Dr. Mario replied.
Roy and Yoshi looked at each other. Again.
"How do we get this stuff?"
"You can buy the anti-atomic acid formula 1 at Walgreens, the anti-atomic acid formula 2 at Drug Fair, and the anti-atomic acid formula 3 at Eckerd. As for the lead, you'll have to get that somewhere else."
"Okay." Roy said.
"Let's go to Walgreens first." Yoshi said. He and Roy got into a car and drove there.
"Hey, you!" a police officer yelled.
"What's wrong?" Yoshi said, stopping.
"It's against the law for talking dinosaurs to drive cars in this state! Do you have a driver's license?"
"Mr. Policeman, I'm just going to Walgreens so I can buy an anti-atomic acid formula that will decontaminate my friend, a talking fox, because he ate a radioactive donut. Could you please let us go?"
"No."
"All right, time for plan B." Roy muttered. "I brought a box of donuts just in case this happened."
"Fetch." Roy said, throwing a cream donut into a tree.
"DONUT!" the cop yelled. He climbed up the tree but fell down. He tried climbing again but fell down, over and over again.
"That should keep him busy." Roy smiled. "Now let's go get that acid." He climbed out of the car and Yoshi began waiting.
1 hour later…
"Where is that dork?" Yoshi murmured.
Another hour later…
"How long does it take to buy some acid?" Yoshi muttered.
Another hour later…
"I'm back!" Roy said, clutching a bottle of acid in his hand.
"What took you so long!" Yoshi had a demonic look on his face.
"Do you know they're giving free samples of Cholesterol Cake in the back? I had to get through that endless line to get the acid. Then I had to wait because people wanted to buy the Cholesterol Cake. Then some fat guy got stuck in the door because he ate too much Cholesterol Cake. And finally, someone spilled 58 boxes of Cholesterol Cake on me and they had to dig me out. Happy?"
"After this, can we go get some Cholesterol Cake?" Yoshi asked happily.
"…"
After a 30-minute drive to Drug Fair, they bought the acid fairly uneventfully, except that Yoshi was distracted by the fact that they were giving out MORE samples of Cholesterol Cake and another fat guy got stuck in the door.
"If I see one more slice of Cholesterol Cake, I'll throw up." muttered Roy.
"More cake? Where?" Yoshi asked, looking around wildly.
And finally, after another trip to Eckerd, they bought the last acid with NO PROBLEM AT ALL! It was awesome! There was no Cholesterol Cake anywhere in the shop! Roy and Yoshi thought all their problems were over until…
"Hey! You're the ones that were driving to Walgreens until I was distracted by a donut! Well, you're under arrest! You can't give me any more donuts because I'm not eating donuts anymore!"
"Lucky I saved this." Yoshi said. He took out a slice of Cholesterol Cake and chucked it into another tree.
"Fetch." Yoshi smiled.
"CAKE!" the cop yelled. He began clawing at the tree, trying to get the cake down.
"Now for the lead." Yoshi said, dashing to the car with Roy following.
"Where can we get lead?" Roy muttered.
"Didn't Falco say he was making a sculpture out of lead?" Yoshi asked.
"Oh yeah."
After a quick drive back to Smash Mansion, Roy and Yoshi snuck into Falco's room, stole the sculpture, and melted it in Roy's state of the art blast furnace.
"I didn't know you had a blast furnace, Roy." Yoshi said as they took the lead out of the furnace.
"I didn't know I had one." Roy responded.
"Wait…If Falco finds his sculpture's missing, he'll scream again."
"Yeah. Let's replace it."
After the old switcheroo had taken place, Roy and Yoshi mixed the acid with the lead and poured half of it over Fox.
"Mommy…I don't want a shower." Fox mumbled in his sleep.
"FOX, WAKE UP!" Yoshi screamed.
"Ahh! Evil cream cheese is going to take over the universe!" screamed Fox. "Oh, it's you two. What's that?"
"It's…cream we collected from all the donuts!" Roy said quickly. "Want it?"
"Sure!" Fox said. He took the medicine and drank it down. Instantly, he stopped glowing.
"That didn't taste like cream." Fox said, coughing.
"YAY!" Roy and Yoshi yelled. "Fox's okay again!"
"Let's have a party to celebrate!" Yoshi said.
"Hold on." someone said.
"Who's that?" Roy asked.
"That would be me." I said.
"Who are you?" Yoshi asked.
"I know! Are you my conscience?" Fox asked.
"Yes, of course I'm your conscience…I'M THE AUTHOR, YOU NIMROD!"
"What are you doing here, Kal? You're only supposed to appear when there's an emergency." Roy said.
"Yes, I know, but Yoshi said something about having a party. There's a rule here somewhere…" I took out a big book titled "The Rules of Writing Fox, Roy, and Yoshi Stories."
"Ah, here. Rule number 9384: When there is a party, there must be a suitable moderator…aka the author, present to avoid all sorts of trouble. There. Ya see?"
"Well, one more isn't too bad." Yoshi said, and Fox and Roy agreed.
"All right. I'm going to get the party stuff now, so I'll give you my author powers temporarily. You screw up, though, and I'll destroy you, even though you're the main characters. Got it?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good." Instantly, Fox, Roy, and Yoshi had my powers.
"Awesome!" Fox said. He made a chili dog appear.
"Okay…I'll leave now." I left through a plot hole.
"That was odd." Roy said.
"But now we have superpowers!" Fox said, conjuring a lot of bean dip.
"TRUTH OR DARE!" they all yelled.
Next chapter, the party starts! Woohoo!
