ChApTeR tWo
Author's Note: The chapter title was intentionally done that way. So here's the party of recycled plots! Involves Truth or Dare, a pizza-eating contest with strange pizzas, and a very screwed-up movie! Enjoy!
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All the Smashers had heard about Fox's miraculous recovery and the party. They didn't care about Fox, but the Smashers never failed to miss a party.
"All right. Everyone here?" Fox asked.
"Yes!" everyone cheered.
"Wait…" Fox muttered. "I don't see Falco. He must have gone to that art contest to show off his statue."
Roy and Yoshi looked at each other.
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"I present to you my finest masterpiece." said Falco. "A self portrait of myself in lead!" He whipped off the veil that covered his work of art.
There were a few gasps, and then scattered bursts of laughter.
"Mr. Lombardi…that's a very…interesting sculpture. I…think…it looks…HAHAHA!"
Falco looked at his sculpture, only to see that it had been replaced with something Yoshi had called "A Self-Portrait in Smashed Berries." Roy and Yoshi had, of course, exchanged it with Falco's lead bust.
"HEY! WHO TOOK MY LOVELY SCULPTURE IN LEAD!" Falco screamed throughout the area.
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"Now," Yoshi said, "the author, Kal, is going to get party stuff. So he's given us his author powers, and we get to make you do whatever we want."
"That's not fair!" yelled Ganondorf.
Fox summoned a lightning bolt and charbroiled Ganondorf with it.
"Ok…master." Ganondorf said.
"Let's all play Truth or Dare!" Yoshi said.
"Sure!" everyone yelled.
"All right. There are going to be some rules. First of all, you're not allowed to do anything that might be offensive or…well, you get the point."
The evil smiles of everyone in the room faded.
"Second, you're not allowed to cause graphically violent injury to anyone. That includes sawing people in half, setting them on fire, cutting their wrists, etc, etc."
A few more smiles around the room faded.
"And finally, no offensive language. If you break any of the above rules, as well as fail to tell the truth or complete a dare, you will suffer a punishment of mine, Fox, or Roy's choosing."
Ganondorf's wide evil grin faded as well.
"We need something to spin." Roy said.
"No problem." Fox said. He conjured a bottle full of soda.
"I'll spin first." Yoshi said. He took the bottle and spun it around. It landed on Captain Falcon. (This originally was Link, but I was scared of being attacked)
"Truth or Dare?" Yoshi asked.
"Uh…truth!"
"Very well then. Do you like Samus?"
There were a few giggles.
"No!…yes."
"I rest my case. It's your turn." Yoshi said, handing the bottle to Captain Falcon. He spun it and it landed on Link. (This was too hard to resist.)
"Truth or Dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to enter the next contest in this party!"
"Fine." Link thought to himself, "It can't be that bad…right?"
Link spun the bottle, and it landed on Samus.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Dare."
"I dare you to kiss Captain Falcon! Without your helmet!" A silence fell across the room.
"This doesn't break any rules, does it?" Samus said nervously.
Fox, Roy, and Yoshi put their heads together for a moment. "As long as there's no mouth-to-mouth, it's fine." Fox shrugged. "Sorry, Samus. You'll have to kiss him on the cheek."
Samus took off her helmet and quickly brushed her lips against Falcon's cheek. She quickly ran to the bathroom after that. Falcon simply sat there, reddening.
"Okay…Since Samus ran away, it's the person who's sitting next to her. That would be Ness. Spin." He handed the bottle to Ness. He spun it and it landed on Mewtwo.
"Mewtwo, truth or dare?"
"Dare!"
"Ok. I challenge you to eat eight saltine crackers within 60 seconds. And you're not allowed to drink anything."
"That can be arranged." Roy said. He made eight saltine crackers appear. "Now eat."
Mewtwo quickly gobbled down the crackers, but after the sixth he got "cotton mouth" and couldn't eat the last two.
"Heh. What's the punishment?" Mewtwo said, gritting his teeth.
"All right. You are to lock yourself in a small safe with 25 Bob-ombs, and don't come out until 3 minutes have passed." Roy declared.
"What the f(bleep)!" Mewtwo yelled. Everyone gasped.
"You broke a rule, Mewtwo!" Fox said. "I'm increasing the Bob-ombs to 50."
"F-" Mewtwo started to say, but he caught Yoshi's stern eye. "-ine."
Roy conjured the safe. "Now, Mewtwo, step inside." Mewtwo did so. "Now, I'll put 50 Bob-ombs in there." He flicked his wrist, and two seconds later, bangs, explosions, and swear words were coming from the tiny safe.
"I'll set the timer to 3 minutes." Fox said, pushing a button on his watch. "Let's continue." He threw the bottle randomly in the air, and…someone else caught it.
"I'm back!" I said, catching the soda.
"What's in there?" Fox asked.
"Pizza, for the pizza eating contest."
"What kind of pizza?"
"I don't know. I just selected from the menu at random."
Link groaned.
"I'm really thirsty. You have anything to-" I saw the soda. "Hey, soda!"
"Wait!" Fox, Roy, and Yoshi yelled. "Don't open tha-"
PSSHHHH!
I stood there, dripping in soda. "What did you do?"
"Well, we were playing Truth or Dare with that."
"I see." I muttered. Just then Mewtwo emerged from his tiny prison, covered in burns.
"What happened to you?" I asked, surprised.
"It was a dare." Mewtwo said sullenly.
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This is the list of how much each pizza is worth. Eating one piece of pizza gives you that number of points. The person with the most points after eating is finished is the winner. Okay? Some of the toppings are unorthodox, but hey. Artistic license. And please don't eat or try to make any of the "strange" topping pizzas. That would be bad.
Rules:
1. Eat only one piece of pizza at a time.
2. Don't eat more than 3 slices of the demonic pizza. (This is for health-related reasons.)
3. Don't eat more than 3 slices of the chocolate laxative pizza. (This is also for health related reasons.)
4. If you barf, you are disqualified.
Cheese pizza: 2
Pepperoni pizza: 3
Green pepper and olive pizza: 5
Fiery fire flower ice cream pizza: 8
Peruvian death pepper pizza: 10
Sugar cube pizza: 12
Demonic pizza (don't ask.): 15
Chocolate-flavored laxative pizza (Again, don't ask): 25
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"All right. I need three contestants." I said.
"Link volunteers." Captain Falcon said.
Link growled, but he stepped up.
"I volunteer!" Kirby said. He stepped up beside Link.
"Someone else?" I said.
"I'll go!" Pikachu said. He took his place beside Kirby.
"All right, when I say go. 3...2...1...GO!"
The contestants began eating.
"What's fiery fire flower ice cream pizza?" Fox whispered to Mario.
"That's a delicacy. You take a fire flower and pluck off the petals, then you stir them in ice cream. It's wonderful for relieving a bad cough or a stomachache. It's also REALLY spicy."
"I see."
"The score is tied at 5-5-5." I said. (When I say this, it means Link's score, then Kirby's, then Pikachu's.)
Link took a bite of the fiery fire flower ice cream pizza. "Not bad." He gulped down the rest, then exhaled a bit of fire, nearly burning the rest of the pizza. Kirby continued to gulp down pepperoni by the score, while Pikachu was absentmindedly chewing on a piece of demonic pizza.
"The score's now 13-14-5." I said again.
Pikachu finally finished the demonic pizza. He then began to chew on a slice of sugar cube pizza.
"Is it just me, or did Pikachu's fur turn a little darker?" Fox whispered to Roy and Yoshi.
"The score's now 16-20-20. I said. (Link and Kirby ate some more pepperoni.)
"I must win!" Kirby muttered. He took a slice of Peruvian death pepper pizza and gulped it down. Then he exhaled a blast of rancid pepper-breath. Several people watching immediately vomited.
Pikachu finished the slice of sugar pizza. Link breathed in some of Kirby's stink and vomited.
"Link's been disqualified for barfing. Pikachu leads at 32-30." I say, a little bored.
Kirby then took a slice of demonic pizza and gulped it down. He turned a little redder.
"Uh, oh." Pikachu thought to himself. Quickly, he seized a piece of chocolate laxative pizza and gnawed it down, while Kirby enjoyed two slices of fiery fire flower ice cream pizza.
"Pikachu leads at 57-46." I said.
"What!" Kirby gasped. He ate another slice of demonic pizza. This time, he turned even redder and grew some little wings.
"Oh, no." Fox muttered. "This won't end well."
"Ugh." Pikachu groaned. "I'm almost full…" He seized a piece of sugar cube pizza and gulped it down, then collapsed on his back.
"I'm full." Kirby groaned. He snatched a final piece of fiery fire flower ice cream pizza, shoved it down, then let out a fiery, stinky, demonic burp and collapsed. Several more people vomited.
"Yuck." I muttered, cleaning up the vomit with a wave of my newly regained author powers. "The score is tied at 69-69! This contest is over."
"I think those laxatives are working up now." Pikachu said. He rushed off to the bathroom.
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The smashers decided to wrap up the party with a movie.
"Let's get this one." Fox said. "It's about this guy who leads an interesting life."
"Yeah, right." Yoshi snorted. "Let's actually make it interesting." He took out popcorn, Fruit by the Foots, tiny chocolates, gummy bears, etc, etc.
"You're still hungry?" Roy said. "I lost my appetite when I smelled Kirby's demonic breath."
"It's not for eating, you nincompoop." Yoshi said. "We'll bombard the screen with this food and make the movie interesting."
"Oh, I see."
"The movie's starting!" Yoshi said. "Ready, set, go!" He threw two Fruit by the Foots at the screen.
Meanwhile, Captain Falcon took out a cell phone. "Hello? Guinness World Records? I think this guy broke the record for the longest tongue…Yeah, it's about two feet long."
"I get it." Fox grinned. He took a few chocolates and chucked them at the screen.
"Ew." Marth said in the back. "What did that guy spit out on the floor?"
"My turn!" Roy said. He threw some fruit Gushers at the screen.
"Yuck!" Samus yelled. "That guy just grew some multi-colored warts that exploded! Look, wart juice is running out!"
"Heh." Yoshi smiled. He threw another Fruit by the Foot, as well as some more Gushers.
"Guinness? Three feet. It's starting to grow some strange warts as well." Falcon said.
"I've got one!" Fox said. He threw some chocolate and unpopped popcorn at the screen.
"I've heard of corn poop, but that's just…yuck." Mario said. A few people fainted.
"Give me some of that!" Roy said. He threw two pretzel sticks at the screen.
"Oh my god!" Peach screamed. "That guy just grew some antlers!"
"I'll finish it off." Yoshi smiled. He took out his last two Fruit by the Foots and hurled them.
"Guinness? Five feet. What? You think I should call the FBI? Okay, can you just repeat that number again?"
By now, everyone was getting out of the movie theater.
"That was an awesome party." Fox said, laughing.
"Let's get out of here." Yoshi said.
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"I believe that this tongue is an alien life form from another galaxy." the FBI agent said. "Carl, give me those alien gloves, will you?"
"Bob, this alien life form is just some candy. Apparently pranksters playing a joke on us."
"Oh, really? Well, where's that guy, Captain Falcon, he said his name was? I'm going to find him and give him a piece of my mind."
"Great idea, Bob. I'll go with you."
THE END
Author's Note: Please review! Please please please please PLEASE! I'll cry if you don't…
