Dedicated to Rebel Aquarius.


Fatal.

Robin bit his lip, staring blankly down at the sheet of plain notebook paper. He didn't know what to say, couldn't even see the point in doing this, but he had to. He just had to give it one last try.

The damage was fatal.

He watched, entranced, as the pen formed the curves and swirls of her name with a life of its own, becoming an entity entirely apart from him. He realized with a guilty twinge that he had never before written her name...not even once. "Why?"

He closed his eyes, blanked his mind...letting the emotions speak for themselves. The task was much harder than it sounded.

Robin's lips formed the words as the pen scratched across the page with the slow, rhythmic movements of his wrist. The words came straight from his heart.

I never thought I could feel this alone, like half of me is missing, lost and out of reach. I'm just the crumbled remains, empty and lifeless...alone. I was a fool, a blind fool. I couldn't see it, took it forgranted, but now that it's gone... Now that you're gone, I realize that I can't survive without you. I was a coward, I should have said it, but instead... The day you left I knew, I knew that I loved you, but I never had the chance to tell you. That day killed me, Raven.

Nothing is the same without you. The whole team wants you back...I want you back. Please, Rae...I love you. Please come back.

He trembled, his hand jerking so violently that a long line of ink appeared on the paper, a tiny water spot soon joining it. The words seemed inadequate, but Robin could do no better. The feeling was above and beyond any word invented in this world.

Somehow...he had to make her understand just how much he ached for her. The thought of his letter going ignored brought a lump to his throat, a tiny drop of water falling beside the first. She had to come back.

"Robin."

He didn't even look up, just jerked his head to show that he did, at least, have ears.

"I brought you some food. Are you...are you hungry?"

"I'm busy, Raven." He didn't even try to soften the words, just bent even lower over the sheet of paper, studying the narrow lines of print with enough intensity to light them on fire.

"I know, but you..." Her voice trailed off, containing more than a hint of worry. His eyes widened in surprise as he began to face her...but then she spoke again, her words hard and accented by the shattering of glass. "For someone so intelligent, you're an idiot."

Robin closed up instantly at those words, the rage inside him burning close to the surface. It wouldn't take much more to release the inferno so weakly contained. Some part of him was already afraid of what it would do...the same part that vainly hoped she would stop there.

"You're going to kill yourself with this insane...stupid...pointless obsession!" His head jerked forward as an unseen force collided with his skull, but still he did not turn his head. "You don't care about anyone or anything! You'd sacrifice every last one of us if it got you a victory, while we're bending over backwards to help you! We care about you! We want you to notice us! Damnit, we want your love!"

Every paper on his desk glowed black and tore itself to shreds as a burning pain ripped across his cheek...a slap in the face. He snapped.

"Shut the hell up!" He shook her, fingers digging into her shoulders, her feet dangling an inch off the ground. Anger was in control. "You know what, you're right! I don't care about anybody! I hate you all! I don't need anyone or anything! I'm just a psychotic, obsessive FREAK!"

His heart pumped franticly in his chest, his mind a burning mass of hatred, fury, pain. Panting from lack of air, every nerve on fire, he glared into deep, dark pools of amethyst.

Her face was stricken, shocked, at first. But then...the eyes went black, ice creeping into them, violet blood oozing from the pupils, death staring him in the face. There was no anger, as he had expected, no hatred, as he had hoped...there was nothing. The eyes were empty.

Robin could have sworn that his heart stopped beating in that instant. He let her go without knowing it, shut the door without moving his hands, returned to the desk without walking. He sat in the chair, frozen cold, for what was neither a second nor an eternity. The eyes burned into him...a fiery brand.

I just don't understand. Why would she do it?

His lip curled in self-disgust, tears spattering the single sheet of paper until the words were barely legible. The sound was small, weak...but he had never spoken so truly in his life.

"I'm...I'm sorry."

No heartbeat. I'm sorry, sir. You can't see her.

Robin didn't know what he was going to say or what he could expect in the first place...there was no forgiveness for what he had done. All he knew was that he had to do something, before it killed his body as well as his soul.

It was a full ten minutes before he could force himself to knock, and when he at last did, the noise was small even in his own ears. It probably didn't even make it through the door--cold sheet of metal that it was.

"Robin!"

He jumped a foot in the air, heart thumping madly as he turned to face a panicked Beast Boy. "What? What is it?"

"Raven, she--" The changeling paled until only the barest hint of green could be seen on his face as his eyes widened, acting as mirrors and reflecting Robin's horror back at him. Mouth working silently, he grabbed his leader's arm and dragged him into the common room.

His feet carried him towards the couch, but Gar tugged him in the opposite direction, to the kitchen table. Cyborg and Starfire stared up at him with the same look of shock that Beast Boy wore as the half-robot wordlessly handed Robin a folded piece of plain notebook paper. His hands shook as he smoothed out the creases, an unquenchable sense of dread digging at his heart.

This is my goodbye, so much later than I expected to give it. My time spent with you has been more than I could ever have hoped for. Better friends could not be found.

A lump rose in Robin's throat, a gasp echoed in the silence as all the air was forced from his body. Goodbye...

Cyborg, you were the big brother I always wished for. Starfire, you were always there for me. Beast Boy, I laughed on the inside. Robin

Stop!

Cyborg, you were the big brother I always wished for. Starfire, you were always there for me. Beast Boy, I laughed on the inside.

Thank you for giving me a life worth living. For that, I will always remember you.

Raven Roth

The note dropped from his limp hands, his eyes riveted to the spot where it had been, wide and disbelieving. Just one word, one word containing within it Robin's reason for breathing.

"Raven."

It was his fault that she left. It was because of what he had done that she went away and left Titan's Tower an empty shell, inhabited by mindless zombies. The note didn't say where she went...no doubt because she didn't want to be found. He had frightened her. Raven must hate him now.

Robin shivered in the cold, but he didn't really feel it.

And so, we lay to rest

His knees were scraped and bleeding from the many times he had fallen on the icy ground. The bridge was old, made of rotting wood that no one had bothered to repair, because "no one came here anyway". It forded the river that ran through the woods outside of Jump City. Raven loved this place. She said that she found herself in the silence, the river soothing her as the wind sang softly through the trees. She had asked him to come here with her more times than he could count.

This was the first time he came.

Raven, a Teen Titan

It was stupid, bringing the letter here. She would never get it...she would never know.

"Raven, I'm sorry." The frigid air forced the tears back into his eyes, choking and smothering all remnants of life left in them. Tilting his head back and gazing up at the gray sky through the labyrinth of bare branches, the cold spread through him, numbing his body but not his mind. "Please...where are you?"

A true friend

His letter fluttered in the wind, at last breaking free from the ever-weakening grip. His stomach clenched, his throat closed over, his heart froze in his chest as the words played over and over again in his mind, hateful words, vicious lies. He had thrust a dagger through her heart, those eyes said it so plainly. He murdered his only love. With those words, he killed his Raven.

And a hero of the highest order.

He could take it no longer. The mute silence that had girpped him since that fateful morning shattered, releasing a roar of agony and regret so powerful that his heart died inside him. Robin broke at last.

"RAVEN!"

"Yes?"

Doctor! Irregular heartbeat...we're losing him!

His eyes widened in disbelief, though his heart fought wildly for hope, as the voice reverberated throughout his entire being. Moving as though in a dream-state, Robin turned to face her.

May she forever rest in peace.

She stood at the opposite end of the bridge, the warm breeze rippling through her long purple hair, a tiny smile on her lips.

"Raven? You...you came back?"

She nodded slowly, but her eyes grew sad. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she whispered, gazing longingly at the trees all around her, green summer leaves rustling and whispering to their long-lost queen.

Clear! Quick, strap him down. Clear!

His legs were moving of their own accord, he was laughing and crying as his eyes drank in her every movement, revelled in every feature. His arms wrapped tightly around her, touched her cheek, brushed her hair, ran up and down her arms, held her close against him as kisses were placed on every inch of her...but most importantly, Raven did the same.

CLEAR!

"R-raven, I-I'm so s-sorry, I d-didn't m-mean any...any of it, R-raven..."

Her smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "Sh, I know. All that matters...is now." Her heart beat reassuringly against his own, waking it from its eternity of sleep. Raven breathed life back into him.

"I'll never leave you again."

"Stop..." Dr. Harris reached out and caught the nurse's arm, staring blankly at the young face before him. He could tell that it was handsome, once. Before the pain. "We lost him." He pulled the sheet up over the boy's face respectfully, accepting defeat. Maybe it was better this way. "He's gone."


This is my goodbye, so much later than I expected to give it. My time spent with you has been more than I could ever have hoped for. Better friends could not be found.

Cyborg, you were the big brother I always wished for. Starfire, you were always there for me. Beast Boy, I laughed on the inside. Robin, you were my first and only love.

You gave me a life worth living. For that, I will always remember you...even in death.


If you don't understand what happened, just mention something in the review and I'll explain. -Dusty