If Dilbert's sworn enemy Phil the Prince of Insufficient Light could have seen the kitchen, he would have declared it his new domain. All minor evildoers would straighten up rather than be darned to the realm within the ketchup-layered walls. The ultimate embodiment of heck was laid out before one's eyes. Since both steak and tofu had been mutilated long ago, the bounty awarded to the victor of the battle was access to the ultimate weaponry-ice cubes. Cyborg's half of the battlefield was on the other side of the kitchen to Beast Boy's, and the gargantuan fridge was in the center of it all.

This was not going to end well.

Starfire flew back downstairs. "Has anyone seen friend Rav-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" (Her screams are shrill and long; did you get that feeling? Come on, shrill and long, shrill and long....) This, perhaps, was the one thing to accomplish waking everybody up; Cyborg and Beast Boy in a figurative way, Robin in the literal one. Everyone gaped simultaneously. The kitchen, sparkling clean only hours ago, was now only cleanable by a power washer, if it was within reach of hope anymore now.

It probably wasn't.

Things were not going well. Chaos ensued all over the tower. Robin yelled. Beast Boy and Cyborg mouthed excuses. Starfire desperately tried to tackle the ketchup with all the relish she could mustard. Nobody noticed Raven was gone. Apparently Starfire had forgotten the reason she had come downstairs; but, who could blame her?

Dear Reader, we shall not go into the details of whatever Raven was doing, because although the infamous phrase "know thyself" sounds wonderfully wise in it's empty rhetoric, the actual process is phenomenally tedious, let alone the pleasures of watching it.

Translation-as far as Raven goes-who cares?

But, dear Reader, there is another phrase; it is "saved by the bell": which is to say, when a person is in an awkward situation with another person, and the latter's attention is conveniently diverted, this is the perfect opportunity for an escape. This phrase was most likely coined by schoolchildren, who likewise found themselves in awkward situations with their teacher, and as the bell for recess, dismissal, or even another class sounded, that child would raise his or her hands in a prayer of thanksgiving, as the teacher finally shut up and ducked underneath the desk to avoid being trampled by the stampede of students. The Teen Titans, of course, did not go to school, nor did they have teachers to yell at them; but they did have source of all annoying and loud sound at that frequency.

A. K. A., yelling.

Do you know what it is, dear Reader?

I'll give you three guesses.

In any case, there was a perfect opportunity to utter this phrase as red lights blinked and the alarm sounded.

"Saved by the bell," Beast Boy thought, raising his hands in a prayer of thanksgiving.

"Saved by the bell," Cyborg thought, raising his hands in a prayer of thanksgiving.

"Titans, go!" Robin yelled, raising his hands in a heroic pose.

It was a theft at the museum. These robber stories never got any more original.

Dear Reader, I would much prefer to tell you that the Titans appreciated Raven enough to try to find out where she was. I would like to tell you that they at least noticed she was gone. Most of all, I would love to tell you that the currently nonexistent love affair between Raven and Beast Boy caused him to know exactly where she was. But this would not be telling the truth, as much as the Titans would soon wish it was, because these were no typical robbers.

Yes, it is incredibly short. You know, you can review with or without an account. I demand more reviews. That only two people have reviewed angers me. Oh, and many, many thanks to Jonakhensu for preventing me from making a complete idiot of myself. I knew when I started this fic that I would make that mistake somewhere.....

"Saved by the bell," Beast Boy muttered, raising his hands in a prayer of thanksgiving.

"Saved by the bell," Cyborg muttered, raising his hands in a prayer of thanksgiving.

Thanks for reminding me! As I was saying.....Review or feel my wrath!