Yes...it has been months. I admit it.
Don't throw things at me.
Ow.
Well, anyway...yesterday's disclamer haven willbe bypresented by my lousy work ethic.
My lousy work ethic.
insert crickets here
Lousy Work Ethic: I'm right here.
Where?
Lousy work ethic:look down.
What? Oh, oh yeah...here:
sets magnifying glass in front of lousy work ethic, and electron microscope in front of magnifying glass
That better?
Lousy work ethic: I guess.
Lousy Work Ethic: Anyway, Aninnymous does not own Teen Titans, any subsidiaries, any characters in this story not living or dead are probably results of my not working. Thank you.
On to the crap!
Beast Boy was attempting to wake Cyborg up. Poking? No. Bucket of water? No. Hay?
Where in heck did you get that idea?
Lousy work ethic: Alice in Wonderland.
Hitting over the head repeatedly? No...but it still felt good...Playing Judy Collins? N-
Yep. Within two seconds of turning on Starfire's CD player, BB found himself dangling upside down with Cyborg wordlessly swearing at him.
"Memo to self: Play Judy Collins at 4 am Tuesday," BB reminded himself as he crumpled to a heap on the floor of the cage.
"I've looked at clouds from both sides now-"
"So," said Raven shrewdly, "You totally forgot I wasn't there."
"Ummm...yeah."
"And you never thought of breaking this thing?"
"Umm...no."
"Well, start thinking already."
Robin, who was now a very deep shade of magenta, broke the glass.
Half an hour later, Ted was also dangling upside down, revealing the secret hiding place of the Relatively Medium-Sized Dictionary of Esperanto.
"Fourth shelf from the left at Borders."
"And what is the antidote?"
Ted swallowed hard.
"Tofu." Cyborg looked horrified.
"And scrambled eggs."
Beast Boy looked worse.
Robin looked satisfied. "What should we do with him?"
Raven grinned and pointed to the cage over the gigantic pot of Oscar Meyer carcinogens, borrowed from the Fairly Odd Parents.
Starfire held up tofu. "Shall he be forced to consume the beans of soy until the local law enforcement has found him?"
Raven grinned slight.ly. "I think so."
The Titans carried out the fitting punishment and left-almost.
"Come on, Raven, let's go!"
Raven bent down and slid something into the pocket of her cloak. "Okay."
Robin and Starfire had Cyborg restrained. With much difficulty. Beast Boy was miming something. Raven handed him a legal pad.
"Play Judy Collins."
Robin gawked. "Isn't that illegal?"
Beast Boy covered half the page with an inky scrawl:
"Yes."
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"OK, B.B.-it's your turn."
"Come on." Raven pleaded. "It's organic.. Free range. The chicken that laid this had a good life. Unlike what will happen to you. If you don't eat this."
With a mix of grim resignation and struggling, BB opened his mouth.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?"
He swallowed, hands on his throat.
"Yes."
Suddenly, Beast Boy's expression changed from horror to joy. "My vocal cords! They don't hate me! Oh, voice, I missed you so! They didn't, but I did! Let's go do karaoke of Judy Collins!"
Cyborg choked on his mouthful of tofu.
B.B. froze.
"Cy, what are you eating?"
Cyborg coughed. "Umm..."
"That's tofu! You're eating tofu!"
The soap opera fans gasped. Somewhere, in the crowd, my work ethic invited tabloid reporters on a miniscule telegraph. A guest mechanic on American Chopper was dragged out by paramedics because the rafter he was hanging from had collapsed. News media halted their coverage of Mariah Carey's horoscope to cover it. The entire universe was gawking.
"Er-yeah."
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Raven lay back on her bed, renewed to a shade of charcoal black. Starfire knocked on the door.
"I am glad to be retaining of the consciousness, but somewhat sad your room has been restored to its former dark colors. "
"You knew I would do that, though, right?"
Starfire nodded. "Yes. Perhaps the color of pink is not right for you, correct?"
"Yeah. We all have different tastes.."
Starfire paused before closing the door. "I understand."
"I knew you would."
The door closed and her footsteps receded. As silence returned to the room, Raven reached below her bed and shut off Ted's holographic projector.
Somewhere in Nevermore, Happy Raven grinned.
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