Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE or the characters, but the idea is my own so please don't steal it!
May 23, 2006
Ryo,
Eight months, can you believe that it's been eight whole months? I sure can't. Every night when I close my eyes I still see you as you were that night. I still can feel your blood on my hands. I still think that it should have been me. That I am the one who should have died that night, not you, never you.
I finally quit two weeks ago. It didn't come as a big surprise to the others. We all knew it was coming. I always used to think that I would be lost without the force, but I was already lost. Leaving the force just added one more crack in a heart that is already broken.
Why did you have to do it? Why did you sacrifice yourself like that? Couldn't you see that I wasn't worth it? Didn't you understand that you were so much better than me? Damn it all Ryo! What were you thinking? Why did you think it would be better for you to die and for me to stay behind to try to pick up the pieces of shattered lives? After all you were always so much better at cleaning than I was. How did you expect me to do it all without you there to follow behind and fix everything that I managed to do wrong?
How did you expect me to handle a day like today, a day meant for celebration, without you there by my side. You would have been so proud. I can see your smile now and hear you laugh at the sight of Bikky throwing his cap in the air. You should have seen him, he was so ecstatic when they handed him the diploma. I must say that I never would have thought of him as a college graduate, especially two years ago when those NBA scouts were offering him so much if he would just leave his education behind.
I just wish you could have been there to shake his hand and give him a big hug. Those were two things that I just couldn't bring myself to do and I know it hurt him. But it just wouldn't be right, not with me being the one responsible for you not being able to be there today.
I'm so terribly sorry,
Dee
Okay, I know, Bikky would have graduated long before now, so lets pretend he went back to school for an advanced degree or something okay? Please?
