Feelings
"Hey Harley. How's everything?" "Oh, fine, Mallet. Everything's fine." (I think). "You busy tonight?" Why does he wanna know that? "Um, no, why?" "I was just wondering if maybe, you'd wanna grab a drink or something. If you're not busy, that is. Which you said you weren't. So? Yay or nay?" Say no Harley, say no! "Yeah. I'd love to!" DAMNIT! "Great! Let's say... Outskirts at 7:30?" "Sounds good." "See ya then, Cooper." "Yeah. See ya. Bye." He kisses my cheek... mmm... bliss. "Bye."
So, we went out for a drink (or two or three) tonight. It was, well, very interesting, you could say. It was also extremely awkward. And I mean Awkward (with a capital 'A'). It brought back some feelings that I didn't especially want. Feelings of love, desire, longing. And then... when we left, when he walked me to my car- he kissed me. A real kiss. And it was AMAZING!
"Cooper! Over here." There he is, sitting there, waiting. For me. "Hey Mallet. How was the rest of your day?" "Um, boring. Nothing interesting going on in this very fine town today, I guess." He smiles. His smile melts my heart. Oh, God, I feel so...
"How was your day Harley?" His voice breaks the spell I was under. "Oh, okay, I guess. Boring homemaker stuff." "You belong out in the world Cooper. You need to work. Your life is..." I know he wants to say 'Your life is with me.' He won't though, but I wish he would. "What? My life is what?" "I just mean that you belong on the Force. You should've never left." Yeah, I know that, but SAY WHAT YOU MEAN! "I know. I just didn't feel safe anymore, you know. With Zach and Jude, and all." "Yeah, I get it."
"So, you want a drink?" "Yeah, yeah sure. I'll just have... a beer for now, I guess." "Ha! Me too! Hey bartender! Two beers. One for me, one for this fine lady." 'This fine lady?' My God I love this man. When Mallet turns to me, and smiles, I jump. "What's wrong hon?" "You just scared me... and you have the most beautiful smile..."
A couple of drinks later (two for me, three for him), we were obviously a little 'impaired.' He walked me out to my car, which I really shouldn't have driven, but that's not the point. Anyway, he walked me to my car, and that's when it happened. We said our goodbyes then he leaned in. I, naturally, thought he was gonna kiss me on the cheek, like before. Boy was I wrong.
Taking my face in his hands, he began moving in closer. I moved to him, in response to the obvious fire burning inside me (well, both of us, really). He pressed his lips against mine, and that was it! I was FINISHED! I pulled him to me, and returned the amazing kiss. It was just... a moment I'll never forget. And I doubt he will either. WOW! It all came flooding back. I want him so badly... I need him. I love him! No, I'm in love with him. But then I remember who I am, what my life is all about. I'll never cheat on Gus. I just can't. But, oh, how I want to.
