Hiei's Puppy

By Jabber-Nut Foxypants

Nut: Yo! What is up?

Spring-Bomb: Chapter 5?

Shawlynn: Of Hiei's Puppy is here Spring-Bomb.

Spring-Bomb: I knew that!

Sugar-Jak: Right...

Shawlynn: You took my words cousin.

Semi-Somethin': People! The disclaimer!

Dark-Ego: Yes Semi! We know!

Nut: But who is going to do it?

Everyone but Spring-Bomb backs away.

Spring-Bomb: What? Oh, The Nut does not own YuYu Hakusho! Only Sars and Pogo! And the story and all the co-introducers and the old lady but not Petco. She would love to own Hiei but she doesn't and Kurama isn't in here...

Semi-Somethin': Okay, they get the point!

Chapter 5

The Plot! Finally...

Hiei reached the collar section surprised at it's elegant selection. The pink, blue, spike, and chain collar's shelf seemed to go the length of the store.

He sighed. First of all, he had no idea why Sars so easily convinced him to come to the store and second, he never owned a dog before, which resulted in no idea how to care for one. He crouched by the chain and spike collars, since his eye was more attracted to them than the pink ones.

He grabbed the chain choker and read the size.

'7'' he told himself. On third thought, he had no idea what size Pogo wore. 'I wonder where Pogo is?' Hiei whistled and waited for a minute. 'His master's probably never taught him that a whistle means come.' So Hiei took a wild guess and judged the collars size by seeing how tight it was around his upper arm. The 7' fit fine. So he prepared to buy the collar when he heard a high pitched scream come from the left. He turned his head to see nothing but an old lady foaming at the mouth with the leather purse waving in the wind. But he figured if there was an old lady, Sars was probably in front of it. Hiei jumped back into the aisle before feeling the wind of something fly by his face then head first into a bag of dog food on a shelf, then the bag fell on the floor. The old lady stopped wiping her forehead and returning to what seemed to be a calm elderly person. She wasn't fooling any one even the "mean kitty" squeaky toy on the shelf was glaring.

"Well, young man. This is the third time I've run into you today. How have you been?" said the old lady holding her purse close to her chest and the cheesiest smile Hiei had ever seen. It was even worse than Sars's cheesy smiles.

"Good... I guess. But now my friend is crushed under something more than 100 times his size." he said staring at the bag of dog food that had the bee under it.

"Oh the poor boy. Is he in the hospital?"

Hiei sweat dropped. 'She has absolutely no idea who I'm talking about.' "I don't think there is a hospital that can help him... of all people, not him."

"I'm am so sorry about your little friend but that bee could've been a hazard if I let him live. I've seen a few bees hanging around you and you've never noticed, but I killed three of them so you're okay now."

Hiei's sweat bead didn't go away... it just got bigger. "Thank... you." 'Dear lord, she's dense.'

"Tell your friend to get well soon." The old lady walked away wobbling like old geezers should.

Hiei went over and got the bag of dog food back on the shelf picking up the crushed bee afterwards.

"Hey pal. The old lady said to get well soon." he smiled while he said this a Sars glared back.

"Very funny!" he shouted sarcastically puffing himself back up. "Hey, where's Pogo?"

"I thought he followed you while you were being chased by the old lady."

"No. He didn't."

Hiei closed his eyes before a loud cry came from the entrance of the store making Hiei toss his head like someone had just punched him across the face. He teleported as fast as he could pulling out his sword on the way but when he got there nothing was in sight. Hiei let his arm slack while he surveyed the crowd circling around him.

"Sars!" he called to his partner... being slow.

"Yes?" he answered hand up to his forehead.

"Can you still hear the cry!"

"It's out the door!" pointed to some guy hurrying out the door.

"Did anyone lose a dog?" Hiei asked the crowd.

"None of us." said a woman. "But a gray and gold puppy laying on the ground was taken out the door by the dog catcher!"

Hiei dashed out of the door, jumping out of the way of the sudden parade of bullets getting fired at him. "What the..." The guy he was after had a net and a gun aimed at Hiei. The swarm of bullets came again and the whimper got clear when he saw a gray and gold blur move inside of it. The masked guy was moving fast and had Pogo in his net of doom ready to take him to the dreaded place of doom known as the human's need to be mean and throw something in jail or cage building, in short, the dog pound. Why was the guy running though...

Even though the dog catcher was out running Hiei some how, he had no intention of getting in the big brown truck labeled Dog Catcher's Truck, and in fine print, the dog catcher is to dense to remember where he parked me. The dog catcher started frantically searching for his keys in his pocket instead pulled out a rubber chicken, a blue mustang convertible, which he could have driven, then pulled out a single car key with a remote to tell him where the truck was. He pushed the button and the truck's annoying panic beeping threw Hiei of course, forcing him to cover his ears while the dog catcher got into the truck after throwing Pogo in the back.

Hiei just decided to block out the annoying sound like he does with Yusuke and Kuwabara's voices, and jumped down next to the truck door, which there wasn't really a door there.

"Ah! How do you turn off this annoying beeping!" asked but shouted the dog catcher pushing every button on what looked like an alien ship dash board.

Hiei watched as he leaned against a car behind him seeming amused at the dork's stupidity. He kept frantically searching for thee BUTTON for four straight hours until the dog's in the back got bored and frankly so did Hiei. So he walked over, pushed the button on the side of the steering wheel, and then continued to glare at the oh so stupid dog catcher who was, sadly, looking for the button like a deranged monkey of doom...

"It's off you dork." said Hiei calmly gripping his sword handle.

The guy, still being stupid, was NOT smart enough to turn on the truck, put it into reverse, and jet out of there like he was going to die. But instead he decided to sit like some fat dude loaded down with 5 gallons of non melted butter, waiting for Hiei to kill him there!

"Thank you stranger." he said talking like a hillbilly. "I'm surprised you haven't killed yet, even though I have your dog."

Hiei's eyes narrowed as he scanned the big brown truck again. "You don't have him. The author made a mistake. A big brown truck is a UPS truck not a dog catcher's."

"Oh well I still have the dog. He's in the back. You wanna see?" The dog catcher's weird eye balls, buck teeth, and drool were starting to get on Hiei's nerves before he stabbed the steering wheel with his sword, canceling any of the dog catcher's chances of escaping.

(Back with Sars)

"Here you go sir?" questioned a waitress noticing the person she was serving the giant muffin to had a head that was, literally, a pumpkin and a body stuffed with hay like a scarecrow.

The voice of the pumpkin scarecrow man cleared his throat before speaking in a very deep manly tone. "Why thank you and I would wish no check ups while I'm still in this bakery eating this delicious smelling muffin of DOOM!"

"You do know that the scarecrow body trick only works in little kid shows like Big Billy over there watches." informed the waitress, fists on her hips. "What are you?"

"Um... promise you don't have a fly swatter!" yelled the squeaky voice from behind the pumpkin head.

"I promise." said the waitress putting a hand up in the air.

Sars came out from behind the head then watched it fall off and roll on the floor into the girl's bathroom which caused lots of ear shattering screams for no reason. "I'm a... bee."

"Oh well, as long as you can pay a quarter for the muffin your good."

Sars started sweating frantically searching for his savor, which had to be a quarter, on the floor. Finally he spotted it by the cash register counter. "There, there it is!" He pointed to the lazy quarter while the waitress went and picked it up.

"How do I know it's your quarter?" she asked searching the quarter suspiciously.

"Um... I dropped it?"

"That works."

(Back with Hiei...)

Hiei had already ripped the guy out of the truck and beat him to a bloody pulp on the side walk by throwing him into the wall, slamming his head against the pavement, then putting him in the motor of the truck while it was running, before he retrieved Pogo setting all the other dogs free as well.

Pogo was shaking and had his paws curled into Hiei's shoulder while he tried to calm him down by petting him on the back. He tried it for two minutes before Pogo fell asleep from his long day.

Hiei spotted the dog catcher still miraculously alive but still looking like a pile of bloody crap worming his way up to him. "Here, you forgot your sword that you stabbed my head with."

Hiei grabbed the long piece of metal out, trying not to move much so he wouldn't wake up Pogo, but it seemed even three car collisions on the highway behind them wouldn't wake him up. "Thank you."

"By the way, will you drop me off by the hospital." said the pile of crap twitching his legs that were not in the right place.

"Start worming your way over to the car crashes and see if you can catch the ambulance before it leaves which is in 2 seconds... oops sorry pal guess you'll just have to wait for someone who cares." said Hiei putting his sword away while smiling at the dog catcher's misfortune and black eye.

(Back with Sars)

"I LOVE MUFFINS!"

(Back with Hiei)

'I wonder where Sars is?'

(Back with Sars)

"I REALLY DO!"

(Back with Hiei)

'Hey look a muffin bakery.'

(Back with Sars, who isn't that far away...)

"MUFFINS!"

(Back with Hiei)

"Oh god, save us now..."

Hiei walked into the store noticing the fat bee laying on the table stuffed out of his mind and happy about it. "What are you doing?" Hiei sat down at the booth taking what was left of the muffin and eating it.

"Hey! I was going to eat that!" shouted the bee.

"You want it back?" asked Hiei sarcastically.

"No... not now... hey you found Pogo!"

"Yeah, no thanks to you!"

"Sorry, where was he?"

"In the back of a UPS truck that was mistakenly taken for a dog pound truck."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Stop arguing Bob!"

"My name is not bob."

"Yes it is."

"No it is not."

"Yes it is."

"No it is not."

So one and so fourth, the bickering continued about Hiei's name actually being Bob, which then turned into an argument about muffins, then an argument about who should keep the dog. Guess who won that one...

Fin

Nut: Yay!

Spring-Bomb: Chapter 5! Is done.

Gir: Hello! I'm a turkey!

Shawlynn: Oh he is so cute!

Dark-Ego and Spring-Bomb: (Giving death glares)

Sugar-Jak: I've been wanting to say this for a long time... you are so S.O.L. Shawlynn!

Shawlynn: Thanks cousin.

Gir: I LOVE TACOS!

(Story created by E.F.F.M.M.P.)

(Broadcasted by LUGNUT FM..)

(Presented by SYCO MAFIA.)

Nut and Gir: Laters!