A/N: Usual disclaimer. I own the character names and the plot. Warning.... adult humor in this chapter.

Thanks a bunch to my reviewers. You guys rock, keep them coming. Also, thanks should really go out to my wonderful teachers who allowed me to write this in their classes. I promise that I do pay attention.....when it is worth my while to do so. -Evil grin- Son once again cheers to my physics teacher, my theatre teacher, and of course my calculus teacher, without their wonderful generosity it would take me forever to update. -gives a big goofy grin-

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Chapter 9: Just suck and swallow

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Ashley opened the door to her office and was greeted by an over zealous Redbone Coonhound, that was howling and baying as loud as she could. Ashley was pinned against her office wall as a short young woman, with long, light brown hair giggled shortly. Ashley glanced over her shoulder to chance a glance at Severus, while being covered in dog drool. Severus grimaced slightly while noticing Ashley's displeasure. With one quick motion of Ashley's hands, she had the dog pinned on the ground, kicking and howling. Ashley looked up from the mound of wriggling brown fur and muttered quickly "Hey wench" at the woman.

Aelanna smiled "how are you bitch?"

"Good but covered in your dog's spit, slut." Ashley replied smartly, while still holding on tightly to the restrained dog.

Severus raised an eyebrow as the two friends threw insults at one another. Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned to see Joey Thorold walking toward him with dogs on either side of him. He watched as Joey slid into a secret passage in the hall. Ashley turned to Aelanna, "Must be Joey, bringing the dogs in." Aelanna grimaced as Joey walked in a kissed Ashley on the cheek. Severus glared at Joey as he sat down in Ashley's leather chair behind her desk.

"Well time for the introductions." Ashley said as an awkward silence entered the room as she released her grip from the now exhausted coonhound. "Aelanna, this is Joey. Joey, this in Aelanna." They shook each other's hands. "Aelanna, this is Professor Severus Snape. Severus, this is Aelanna Mignallione." Aelanna grabbed Severus' hand, catching him off guard. He had clearly planned on just nodding his head, while leaning up against the wall. Ashley looked down at the dog, as it weaved in between everybody. "That is Belle, she is a Redbone Coonhound. She is known for being, well, crazy." Ashley said, noticing the men's quizzical expressions. Severus nodded smugly and left Ashley's office after giving Belle a quick pat on the head. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Joey left to go back to his house. As soon as Joey left, Ashley looked at Aelanna and erupted in a fit of girlish giggles.

"Come on; let's go out." Aelanna asked hopefully.

"Ok, there is a pub in Hogsmeade, called Three Broomsticks, let go." Ashley replied as they left.

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Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting at their usual table in the back, talking about their first week of classes, when they were interrupted by Professor Hammock and a short American woman came walking in laughing hysterically. "For once, I think we have a teacher with a mildly interesting personality." Ron muttered as Professor Hammock and Aelanna spoke quickly in their Southern accents.

"For as loud as they are talking, I can barely understand a word." Harry commented quizzically.

Ashley knew that she and Aelanna were acting rather oddly, be she didn't care. Plus, nobody would understand them anyway, because they were talking about their numerous inside jokes. Ashley and Aelanna hadn't seen each other since Aelanna graduated from university, over a year ago. They kept in contact with each other by owl and muggle computers. Ashley completed her masters degree in June of that year, which also prohibited any visit. Ashley and Aelanna stayed in Three Broomsticks, talking about guys, well after the students' curfew of 9 o'clock. At around midnight, Aelanna and Ashley went back to Hogwarts so Aelanna and Belle could Floo to the Leaky Cauldron.

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Monday morning the sixth years walked in for their third lesson of the year. They had already learned how to read music and play some notes. Draco blurted out, "When are we actually going to do something meaningful? Like, erm, I don't know, play music?"

Professor Hammock, just smiled at him, "Well maybe today, depends on how many scales we can get to. Plus, I want the strings to go with Miss Mignallione to learn proper positions. The rest of you will stay with me." The sixth year strings players stood up with their instruments, and followed her out into the next room. Ashley proceeded to discuss the proper playing techniques for all of the instruments. At the end of class, she had taken five points away from Slytherin for Draco being overly elaborate in demonstrating the proper technique for sucking spit off of the reed of his tenor saxophone. She dismissed them, giving them what the students called stupid assignments. Like, the percussionists were to bang their fingers on desks in a rhythm of their choice. The woodwinds were to smile while sliding their lower lip onto their teeth. The brass players were to practice making a buzzing sound with their lips. She told them that it would improve their playing ability immensely. They never got to play anything, owing to the fact that they only covered five out of the twelve major scales. Ashley commented sourly when she informed them that those were the easiest ones to master.

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During the afternoon break, some of the professors usually met in the staff room. Ashley walked in, getting annoyed glares from Professors McGonagall and Snape. Ashley noticed McGonagall first and inquired with a cheery, yet southern sounding "Wha?"

"I have a headache because Mr. Potter and Mr. Thomas would not stop banging on the desks." Professor McGonagall replied while massaging her temples slowly.

"I guess they told you that I told them to do it? Well they were right."

"I hardly ever take points away from my own house, and now you are telling me that it was unnecessary?" McGonagall replied, looking very annoyed.

"Yes, for they were not lying. What they were doing was building up their concept of rhythm." Ashley replied smugly while hearing a disgruntled "Humph" from McGonagall, as she turned to Snape.

"Is it true that you took house points from Slytherin because Mr. Malfoy did something correctly?" Snape questioned quizzically.

"No, I took away house points when Mr. Malfoy started to make moaning sounds after he took two minutes of class time to demonstrate something that should have taken no less than twenty seconds to do."

"And what was it that he was to be demonstrating?"

"Well, I wanted him to show the rest of the woodwinds, what to do when their reed becomes covered in too much spit. Which is just to suck and swallow." Ashley replied smartly as Professor McGonagall nearly choked on her sip of coffee. Snape picked up the Daily Prophet while arching an eyebrow. He noticed an ad on the second page, to the right of the crossword puzzle stating:

"American Champion Bloodline Clumber Spaniel Puppies for Sale.

Will be ready to be picked up in mid-December.

Please owl all inquirers to Professor Ashley Hammock at Hogwarts."

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A/N: Well there ya go. One more chapter done exactly like I wanted. For those of you who know the real identity of Miss Aelanna Mignallione, please keep it to yourselves. Also, to the real Aelanna, I was going to put some Star Wars references in here but I thought better of it. (Remember Obi One and cover!!!) Keep on reading and reviewing. Also to all my dog people out there, remember Westminster is on Tues. and Wed. on USA network at 8pm EST! Good luck to everybody going to the show. Go Beagles!! Go Great Danes!!! Go Clumbers!!! Go Chow Chows!!! Go English Foxhounds!!!