Sirius dragged Hermione back into the house and up to the bedroom the boys were sharing. James and Remus followed at a half run, half walk.
Sirius had a hold of Hermione's upper arm and once James had closed the door he shook her violently. "Talk now!"
"Sirius," James shouted.
Sirius paid no attention to James. Instead, he grabbed Hermione's other arm so she was forced to face him. "I'm not kidding, Hermione."
"Get off her," shouted Remus, pushing between the two of them, forcing Sirius to let her go. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I think I'm trying to get some answers," Sirius shouted back.
"Like this?"
"Yes like this, like any way I can get her to talk."
"Sirius, calm down," James said putting a hand on his shoulder.
Sirius whirled on James. "Don't tell me to calm down."
"You're out of control."
"You're damn right I'm out of control." The boys were inches from each other and getting red in the face.
"Stop it," shouted Hermione. They all turned to look at her. "Please don't fight. I should have never said what I said. It was irresponsible."
"Irresponsible," spat Sirius. He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Is that all you have to say?"
Hermione turned away, mentally berating herself for her loss of control. "I was upset. I can't… I don't know…," she couldn't seem to put her thoughts into words.
The boys stared at her. "You can't leave it there," said James. "You know that." He paused, waiting for her to continue.
"If the future is as bad as you say it is," spoke up Remus quietly. "What harm could you possibly do by telling us?"
"I don't know, but I'm scared. If I told you everything I know, the world I know would disappear."
Remus took a step closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "The world you remember doesn't exist yet." He took a, deep breath. "What would Harry say if he knew you could save his father, but didn't?"
Hermione stepped back, her eyes shining with tears. She felt as if he had physically slapped her. "That's not fair. You have no right to use him against me like that."
He stepped toward her again, closing the gap between them. She put her hand out, trying to push him away. He stood his ground. "I'm not. I just want you to realize that not saying something is a choice too."
She considered his words carefully. Deep down she wanted to tell them. She'd wanted to tell them since her first week with them. "What would Harry say," she repeated softly? She thought back to the end of their fifth year. She remembered waking up in the hospital wing, wondering how she had gotten there.
Harry was sitting between her and Ron with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed low.
"Harry," she said croakily. He looked up at her. "What happened?"
"You got hit by a spell," he said quietly. "But you're going to be ok."
"No," she said shaking her head. "I mean back at the Ministry. Did everyone get out ok?"
He shook his head slowly.
"Oh my God! Who?" She sat up and looked over at Ron again to reassure herself that he was really there, and then she glanced around the hospital wing. In their own beds were Ginny, Luna, and Neville.
She turned and stared at Harry, who was staring straight ahead, not really seeing anything.
"Harry," she questioned?
"The Order came," he said his voice sounding hollow. "Sirius came with them." He stopped talking.
Hermione stared at him, hearing what he couldn't bring himself to say. "Oh, Harry," she said softly, covering her mouth. Her heart was breaking for him.
He looked at her and she was scared by what she saw in his eyes. She had never seen them look quite so lifeless. Without another word he rose and quietly left the hospital wing.
Hermione glanced around the room at James, Sirius, and Remus. "I'll tell you everything," she said resolutely.
She paused to breathe. "Maybe we should all sit down." Each person found a place to sit, but Hermione immediately rose again. "I don't know where to start."
"Why don't you start from the part where we're all dead," said Sirius sarcastically.
Hermione ignored him and Remus shot him a dirty look. "Yesterday's attack was the beginning, or rather the end of the beginning. You all read it in the paper, it was the worst mass muggle killing in decades, but it won't keep that record for long. Voldemort…"
"Shut up," whispered James loudly. "Have you lost your mind? You can't just… I mean, it's just not…"
"I will not call that maniac you-know-who or he-who-must-not-be-named or even the dark lord. His name is Voldemort and I am not afraid to say it." Hermione's eyes glowed with anger. "And neither will you guys be for long." All three boys looked taken aback.
She continued. "As I was saying, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are going to strike again and soon, and they are going to get more confident and more aggressive until no one is safe anywhere, well except for Hogwarts, that is." She started pacing.
"Soon, Dumbledore is going to start a group to fight him. He calls it the Order of the Phoenix and all of you will be members and your entire purpose will be to fight."
"How do you know Dumbledore hasn't already started this group," interrupted James.
"Because you're an original member and you can't be in the Order while you're at school. I don't know when the Order starts, but it starts too late and by the time it does begin you'll be outnumbered twenty to one. And then he'll start picking you all off." Hermione's voice dropped to a whisper. "So many people are going to die. I think eventually everyone would have… if he hadn't… if Harry," Hermione trailed off, too upset to continue.
"It's ok Hermione," said Remus. "Just take your time."
She nodded and took a few deep breaths. "Voldemort was at the top. The Ministry was in shambles. Nobody knew who to trust. He was closing in on everything and then he went after the wrong family."
She turned and looked at James. "I told you that the reason I know so much about all of you is that I'm friends with your son, best friends, but what I didn't tell you is that Harry is the only living member of your family in my time."
They all stared horrified at her, but she rushed on. "I don't know why, Dumbledore knows, I'm sure he does, he might have even told Harry, but Voldemort makes it his personal mission to kill the entire Potter family. On October 31, 1981, he comes to this house and kills you and then he tries to kill your son, but his mother dies protecting him and when Voldemort tries to kill Harry, the spell rebounds on him and he disappears."
"1981," James croaked, that's in less than four years."
"I know," she said sadly. "But that's not the worst of it. Sirius… no I've gone too far. Dumbledore knew he was after you and you went into hiding. Dumbledore performed the Fidelius Charm. Do you know what that is?"
Remus nodded, but James and Sirius shook their heads. "It's the magical concealment of a secret inside a single living soul," Remus explained quickly to his friends.
"But if the secret was concealed, then how did you know who find them," asked Sirius.
"Well, you see, that's the tricky part. James told Dumbledore that you would be his secret keeper."
"That's a lie," roared Sirius jumping up. James and Remus caught his arms and forced him back into his seat.
"Would you calm down for a bloody second so I can finish," growled Hermione. "It's that damn temper that got you in trouble all those years ago. You're going to spend twelve years in Azkaban because of that temper. As I was saying," she continued ignoring the three pairs of wide eyes staring in amazement at her.
"Sirius, you were supposed to be the Potter's secret keeper, but at the last minute there was a change. Another wizard became the secret keeper and he betrayed you all."
"Peter," breathed Remus. "It was Peter."
Hermione didn't answer.
"It was, wasn't it Hermione?"
Reluctantly, she nodded.
"So that's why you attacked him," said Sirius. "That night, you said he was a murderer, that he killed them all. You meant us, didn't you?"
"No," interrupted James, "that doesn't make any sense. Peter would never be my second choice. He is our friend, at least I thought…," he trailed off. "No, my second choice would have been Remus."
"No," said Hermione. "It was Peter."
"No," insisted James.
Hermione glanced at Remus and by the furrow in his brow she could see that he was working things out for himself. "That's just not important," she said firmly. "James, please, just let me finish."
"Anyway, it was Peter who became the secret keeper and he told Voldemort where to find you. The next day Sirius caught up with Peter, but things went horribly wrong. Peter screamed for the whole town to hear that you betrayed James and…," she paused. "James," she finished lamely. "And then he blew up the whole town, transformed and disappeared. He killed twelve muggles that day."
"What," exclaimed James sounding disgusted?
"It was to make people believe that Sirius was an insane mass murderer. It worked too. The Ministry awarded Peter the Order of Merlin, First Class, and Sirius went to prison for twelve years." Hermione stopped, she couldn't continue.
The boys just sat staring at her. Nobody said a word for a full five minutes.
James was the first to speak. "Lily's his mother, isn't she?"
Hermione said nothing.
"You told us everything else, why can't you just say that."
"Because it's important that Harry is born and if I tell you who his mother is then I could possibly stop it from happening. I won't tell you who his mother is."
"Well, if that's what's in store for my family, I'm not going to have one."
Hermione looked stricken. "James, I don't know how I can make you understand how important it is for Harry to be born. He's just," she sighed and began to tear up. "He's amazing. I've never known anyone braver or kinder. He's overcome more by his seventeenth birthday than most people will overcome in a lifetime. He goes through things that would break an ordinary person. He's gone up against Voldemort six times, not even Dumbledore can say that."
"Six times," exclaimed Remus.
"Yes," said Hermione with a touch of pride in her voice, "the first time when he's barely a year old and then five more times while he's at school." Her eyes glazed over and she spoke very quietly, almost as if she was talking to herself. "He almost didn't make it this last time. If Ron hadn't gotten there… We were almost too late," she broke down, wiping tears from her face.
The boys didn't know what how to react. They were all in a little bit of shock.
Eventually, Hermione was able to pull herself together. She took a deep breath. "I'm only alive and here today because of him. He's saved my life more than a few times. That's why I'm telling you this. I don't care what I have to do, but I'm going to give him a life with both his parents and his godfather. If we can stop Voldemort now then he'll never know the pain and loneliness that haunts his life."
"How," asked Remus?
"We strike now. We don't wait. I remember some of the bigger things that are going to happen, but more important, I know what nobody alive knows. I know who the Death Eaters are."
"What's your plan," asked Sirius.
"We go to Dumbledore as soon as we get back and we insist that he start the Order now. We don't wait, not even six months. We have to start fighting now, while we're still in school."
"I'm in," said James quietly.
Hermione reached out and grasped James's hand. "I knew you would be."
"We're all in," said Sirius, coming up to them both.
"That's right," said Remus, joining the group. "We'll all do this together."
James and Sirius eventually left Remus and Hermione alone in the room. Hermione was still feeling a little shaken and they figured Remus's calming influence might help her relax.
"You feeling any better," asked Remus.
Hermione shrugged. "I guess it just hit me all at once. I mean, I know I'm never going back, but sometimes it's so hard to accept."
"I bet," said Remus sympathetically.
"You have to understand, Harry and Ron were the first boys I ever loved. They were the best friends I could have ever had. It's like what you have with James and Sirius."
"I didn't have any friends before James and Sirius," confessed Remus. "Who'd want to be friends with me, considering?"
"I actually didn't have any friends before Harry and Ron either." She laughed lightly. "I was a bit of a nightmare. Until I met Harry and Ron, I think I cared more for my books than I did for people. I was just so determined to prove myself."
Remus laughed.
"Don't laugh at me," she scolded. "Books are a lot easier to understand than people.
"I'm not laughing at you," assured Remus. "I kind of know what you mean."
"I guess deep down we're both kind of prone to being loners," said Hermione.
"Maybe that's why we get on so well," said Remus.
"Yeah," agreed Hermione. "I think you're right."
They smiled at each other.
"I feel a little better now."
"I'm glad. Should we go downstairs then?"
"You go ahead."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, go ahead. I'll be ok now."
The three boys wanted to leave for Hogwarts immediately and began to make arrangements to get back. Hermione, after the long morning, felt exhausted and went to lay down for a bit. She felt as if the weight of responsibility that had hung over her for days was lifting. She didn't emerge from her room until dinner.
At the table, Mrs. Potter looked worriedly at her. "Are you feeling ill, dear?"
"No, I'm ok," replied Hermione, her voice tired. "I'm just a little worn out."
"It's no wonder. All that studying and pressure, and now you four want to go back."
"I told you mom," said James. "We have to study for the N.E.W.T.s and we need the library to do that."
"I know, dear. I just don't like you so far from home, considering," she trailed off.
"Don't worry, mom, we'll be ok. Besides we'll be at Hogwarts with Dumbledore. Nothing will happen to us there."
"I know," she said resting her hand on James's shoulder. "I don't know how you got so mature. I still remember when you came up to my waist and were content to play with frogs and bugs and track in mud all over the house."
"Mom," said James warningly as Sirius and Remus began to snicker.
That night Hermione laid awake tossing and turning. They had decided to leave in the morning by way of the Knight Bus. She was not looking forward to the trip. She was nervous about going to see Dumbledore. He had warned her against revealing too much about the future and she had just about revealed everything. She was also beginning to feel the weight of responsibility that had been lifting a few short hours ago begin to press back down on her.
Suddenly she heard a creak as the door to her room opened slightly.
"Hermione," came the whispered voice of Sirius. "Are you awake?"
Hermione rolled over pulling her blanket up to her chin. "Yeah, is something wrong?"
"No," he said, his silhouette framing the doorway. "I just… I couldn't sleep and I wanted to ask you something."
Hermione sat up in bed. "Come in before you wake the whole house up."
Sirius crept quietly in and closed the door behind him. With the door closed the only light in the room was from the dim glow of the half moon. Sirius sat at the edge of the bed and Hermione sat back against the headboard. Neither spoke for a minute, then Sirius said, "Hermione, I have to know what happens to me in the future."
Hermione sighed. "Hopefully nothing, now that you know it'll all change."
"I know, but I still need to know. You said I spend twelve years in Azkaban. Do I die there?"
"No," she said. "Actually, you escape, the first person to ever escape, though not the last."
Sirius waited for her to continue. She sighed again and went on. "In my third year, you break out of Azkaban to go looking for Peter. He was actually at Hogwarts posing as my friend Ron's rat. You found out that he was in the same dorm room as James's son and you came to protect him and you did. The details aren't important. The point is, you expose Peter to Harry, Ron, Remus, and I and we're able to convince Dumbledore, but Peter escapes and you're forced to go into hiding. Then, in our fifth year, well it's a bit complicated, but Voldemort lures Harry, all of us actually, into a trap and you come to save him and are killed. It nearly destroyed him."
"Who?"
"Your godson, you became like a father to him and when you died, something in him died too. He was never the same after that. No matter what Ron and I said or did, he just couldn't bring himself to talk about it. I was really angry with you for a long time."
"Why?"
"For risking your life," she said simply. "It's irrational, I know, but we all suffered a lot after it happened. Tonks told me later that Remus sunk into a depression for months."
"Tonks? You don't mean Nymphadora, do you?"
"Oh, I forgot, she's your cousin."
"Yeah, she's much younger than me. I haven't seen her in forever. My family is a bit odd."
"Tell me about it."
"I get the feeling I don't have to," said Sirius wryly.
Hermione grinned, but it was lost in the dark room.
"Well I guess I better get back to bed," he said quietly.
"Ok," she said. Sirius made to stand up, but Hermione caught his hand. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah," he said slowly. "It's just a lot to take in. How can you stand knowing all of this is going to happen?"
"I can't. Maybe if I hadn't gotten to know you all so well I might have been able to stay quiet about everything, but now," she shook her head. "Everything will be ok now. You don't have to worry." She pulled him into a hug and went to kiss his cheek, but at the last second he turned and their lips met.
Hermione pulled away, embarrassed, but Sirius brought his hand up to her face and pulled her forward again pressing his lips firmly to hers. Without quite realizing it, Hermione brought her arms up around his neck and returned the kiss. His hand was stroking her cheek as his tongue lightly traced her bottom lip and he deepened the kiss and then as if waking from a dream he pulled away abruptly. "Damn it," he whispered. "I'm sorry," she said at the same time.
He got off the bed hastily. "I better go."
"Yeah," she said softly. She watched his retreating back as he left and closed the door behind him. "Goodnight."
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A/N: Wow! Thanks so much for the reviews Spaced Out Space Cadet, hp101, Rane2920072, Mrs. N. Snape, Hearts, Dixi, SLytHeRiNcHiCk 101, SwurpleKitty, Amorette, Dyrim123, unicorngrl415, Raclswt, Haldirs-Wife, popppincorn and Horus.
You've all been great and I love reading them. I fully expect a flame or two because of this last chapter, but in the immortal words of Kirsten Dunst (I think it was her) "Bring It On!" Now for a more personal note.
Horus: Thanks for the e-mail. I actually do like some of your ideas and funnily enough, I have a kind of ST: VOY solution to this story. (You non-Trekkers needn't worry. It's still HP) I know you might be a little weary of this last chapter because I had Hermione pretty much tell them everything and I have just completely screwed around with the whole time paradox issue, but it'll be ok. I have everything under control.
Ok now that's enough hints. Hope you liked the chapter and Review, Review, Review!!!
