Author's note: To all you meanies who say mean things about my writing…I have a solution! Here are my instructions! (These are for people who are considering writing an evil review!)

Look at the very top right corner of your computer screen. There should be a little "x" there.

Click on the "x"! Like oh my god, the screen disappears!

If you are not a fan of the "x" button, then click on the button near the top left corner which has the word "Back" written on it! Voila! It's a lot faster than writing a whole review!

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Phantom of the Opera, which influences this story.

(All the lyrics in parentheses are the original lyrics, so no one will ask "What song is this from?")

HAIRCOMB OF FASHION!

Leg: Listerine! You're here! You had me worried!

(Where in the world have you been hiding?)

My gosh, you smell of peppermint!

(Really, you were perfect!)

I only wish I smelled just like you

(I only wish I knew your secret!)

Who taught you how? hint hint!

(Who is your great tutor?)

Listerine: My stylist once spoke of a haircomb!

(Father once spoke of an angel!)

I used to wish I had hair…

(I used to dream he'd appear)

Then the walls started talking

(Now as I sing I can sense him)

Saying "Lay off the beer"

(And I know he's here!)

He made me shiny, he made me great!

(Here in this room he calls me softly)

He made sparkly and pretty!

(Somewhere inside hiding!)

He told me to wear a wig

(Somehow I know he's always with me)

He-the clean and witty!

(He-the unseen genius!)

Leg: Listerine! You must be crazy!

(Christine! You must have been dreaming!)

Or doing some kind of drug!

(Stories like this can't come true)

Listerine I know what you need!

(Christine you're talking in riddles)

A great big hug!

(And it's not like you!)

Listerine: (backs away slowly)

Haircomb of Fashion!

(Angel of Music!)

Where's my shampoo?

(Guide and Guardian)

I think someone stole it!

(Grant to me your Glory)

Haircomb of fashion!

(Angel of Music!)

Make me sexy!

(Hide no Longer!)

So I can attract hairclips!

(Secret and strange Angel!)

He watches me undress…

(He's with me even now…)

Leg: Oh my God you're blue!

(Your face, Christine, its white)

Listerine: He steals my underwear…

(All around me…)

Leg: You're losing your luster!

(Your hands are cold)

Listerine: It turns me on!

(It frightens me)

Leg: I think I love you…

(Don't be frightened…)

Listerine: (Starts running)

A/N: Leg is an amputated leg that lives in the musical bathroom. Apparently someone tried shaving their leg with an ax and it didn't work out too well…