Heaps of thanks to Barbossa'sApples, Calli1, Amanda, Mara look-a-like, randomidiot, and boogak for all your comments. Yes, Luke and Mara do tend to have spats like a married couple. Interspersed with kiss-and-makeup moments, of course.
A Journey of Discovery -- Book Two: Pledge
Chapter Three
Mixed emotions swirling through her, Mara plodded along the rocky ground for hours. While she and Luke had not spent every day together since their escape from the Emperor's palace two months ago, this would be the first time they'd be apart for as long as a week. She had gotten used to having him around. His warm presence was such a welcome change from Palpatine's cold darkness. What in the galaxy had made her even consider fleeing Coruscant ― stealing away without so much as saying goodbye to him. She could imagine the hurt look on his face if she had cut and run while on this mission. No matter how much they argued or complained or taunted, there was an undeniable connection between them ― a connection of friendship and loyalty that neither of them would willingly sever.
She almost reached out through the Force to him, just for reassurance that he was still there, but stopped. She had finally acquired a semblance of independence, and she wasn't about to let it appear that she needed him. Mara Jade ― ex-assassin, ex-Emperor's Hand ― needed no one.
Yes, you do, a small voice said. You need him. And he needs you.
Mara automatically started to refute what her conscience was telling her, then paused. Okay, maybe that last part was true. He did need her. He needed someone to keep him on the right path ― the pathway of light. Luke had demonstrated that unquestioningly at the Ranat Roost. And who better to guide him than she, who had ample experience with dark siders, and who could feel the dark side building inside him before he ever opened his mouth or raised a hand. It would be a challenge and a heavy responsibility, but she could do it. Mara smiled to herself as she resumed her trek. In fact, it could easily be a lifelong commitment.
――――
Luke kept at his task until nearly dark, his hands tugging at the recalcitrant stabilizer components, but his mind many kilometers away. What in the galaxy had possessed him to snap at her that way? Frustration at this blasted ship? Embarrassment that he hadn't magically been able to fix everything immediately? Annoyance that they'd been sent on this unwanted mission, anyway?
Leaning back, Luke tossed his hydrospanner into the toolkit. He'd finished the repairs to the hyperdrive several hours ago, but he had no doubts about his inability to restore the gyro-stabilizer to working condition without that rod. He could only hope Mara would somehow find a replacement. Wiping his brow on his sleeve, he sighed and looked up at the sky. Clouds obscured any star sightings, and thunder rumbled in the far distance. The wind picked up as he walked around the perimeter of the area, stretching his stiff muscles. A storm was coming, and soon.
After packing up his tools and supplies, Luke walked back to the ship. Just as he climbed into the cockpit, raindrops were starting to fall, splattering loudly against the canopy. He settled into the pilot's chair, munching on a ration bar. As they had all day, his thoughts centered on Mara. Luke hoped she had time to erect a shelter before the storm hit. He regretted sending her out after that rod. He should have gone himself; then she could be here in the dry, albeit cramped, cockpit. It wasn't like he was making any headway on completing all the repairs. Even his attempts at boosting the comm signal proved fruitless.
Luke chewed slowly on the ration bar, not even noticing how tasteless it was. They could have both gone to the village. At least they'd be together. Face it, Skywalker, you miss her already. Against his better judgment, Luke reached out with the Force. Mara's emotions came through loud and clear ― tired, wet, hungry, annoyed.
(Mara?) he sent tentatively. (Are you all right?)
(I've been better,) came her curt reply. It still amazed her that they could converse through the Force like this. Sure, Palpatine talked to her from across the galaxy. But that was Palpatine. Luke wasn't nearly that powerful. Was he?
(Why haven't you put up your shelter yet?)
(What are you, my mother?)
Luke rolled his eyes, letting his breath out through pursed lips. (I was just concerned about you.)
(Well, don't be. Just worry about those ship repairs. I'll be fine.)
(If you say so.) Luke paused. ('night, Mara.)
It took Mara a moment to reply. (Goodnight, Luke.) She quickly cut their connection. Blast him, she could never stay angry with him.
Mara held her glow rod out in front of her. The light was fading rapidly, and the rain was beginning to fall harder. She really needed to stop for the night. So why was she still trudging forward? Because the sooner she got to the village, the sooner she could return to the ship. No, not the ship. To him.
All right, Jade, this is getting you nowhere. Another half hour, then you stop.
――――
Luke felt Mara cut their link. All day he had tried to keep thoughts of her out of his mind, concentrating instead on his repair work. But now he found he could think of nothing else.
What kind of relationship did he and Mara have, really? Yes, they were friends. Best friends, if she hadn't revoked that status after the debacle at the tapcafe. But, deep down, he knew in his heart that he wanted to be more than just friends. Memories of the closeness they'd shared before his father's death kept surfacing. Though neither of them ever ventured to bring up those experiences, he was sure she'd been as attracted to him then as he was to her. If her feelings had changed, why hadn't she already left Coruscant, while she was still free of suspicion? True, he'd covered for her alias as a former dancer. Heck, he'd helped her concoct a good portion of the story she'd told Mon Mothma. Not the most Jedi-like thing to do, and it sure wouldn't bode well with the New Republic if it were discovered he was harboring the identity of an Imperial assassin.
He had really expected Mara to flee the first chance she got. But she had stayed. Stayed with him, it could only be said, as she interacted very little with anyone else. So why had their relationship regressed ― if you could call what they had a 'relationship'? Was he to blame? And why had he felt as though the Force had called him to bring Mara along on this mission?
Too many questions; too few answers. Luke closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the firm headrest. Perhaps a good night's rest would bring him some of those answers. He drifted off to sleep, lulled by the raindrops pattering overhead.
―――――
Mara stumbled along in the dark, finding it harder and harder to keep her footing on the sloping hillsides. A bolt of lightening lit up her surroundings, showing that the forest was getting denser. By her calculations, it was nearly dawn. She hadn't stopped for the night like she should have; instead, she had pushed herself past the point of exhaustion. And so it was that she didn't feel her danger sense go off until she stumbled over a vine and found herself tumbling down a steep embankment.
Mara sent out a desperate plea through the Force before blackness overtook her ― (Luke! Help me!)
―――――
Luke shifted uncomfortably in the barely padded pilot's seat, drifting between sleep and wakefulness.
(Luke! Help me!)
He jolted upright, banging his head against the canopy, the cry for aid resonating in his mind. Had he been dreaming?
(Mara?) he sent out. (Mara! Are you all right!)
No answer. He stretched out through the Force, feeling for her presence, but got nothing. Luke fumbled for his comlink, turning on the cockpit lighting so he could make sure it was turned to their agreed-upon frequency.
"Mara! Mara! Can you hear me!" He knew he was shouting, but he didn't care. "Mara! Answer me!"
Luke popped the canopy, stood, and was immediately assaulted by a cold brisk wind. (Mara, answer me!) he sent once more. Logic told him she could be sleeping, but his gut told him that wasn't the case. Besides, he was familiar with how her soothing presence felt to him when she slept.
He forced back his growing panic, relaxed, and let the Force fill him. Its power throbbed through him like waves crashing upon a shore. He stretched out again, blocking out the other life in the countryside ― the animals, the birds, the microscopic organisms.
Finally, there it was. Just a tendril of the Force, but Luke clung to it like a Corellian limpet clings to a starship. It was his lifeline to her. She was alive, but unconscious.
Jumping out of the cockpit in one fluid motion, Luke grabbed a survival pack and secured the ship. Still holding on to that sliver of the Force from Mara, he began to run. He wasn't sure how far she could have gotten, or even if she had stopped for the night. She was stubborn enough to try to keep going without sleep. Which meant she could be that much farther away from him.
Luke increased his pace. He had a feeling he had no time to spare.
-----------
Luke had been running for most of the day, oblivious to fatigue. He was glad it was no longer raining. Not that it would have slowed him down, but the thought of Mara lying out in the pouring rain... They'd come too far, endured too much together, for him to lose her now.
He pushed onward, feeling Mara's barely perceptible presence slowly growing nearer. He called out to her several times, but apparently she was still unconscious.
Luke finally stopped shortly before dusk to get his bearings. She was close now, very close. He walked forward perhaps ten meters and came to the edge of a steep drop-off. The essence of Mara's presence was so strong here it was nearly tangible ― exhaustion, surprise, panic. Pain. Peering down through the gloom, he could just make out a spot of dull orange. No!
He found her in a crumpled heap, lying in a shallow impression half filled with rainwater. Luke gently lifted her head, pushing her dirty, tangled hair away from her still face. He checked for broken bones, and was relieved to find none, though her left ankle looked swollen.
"C'mon, Mara. Talk to me."
Her skin felt frozen; her lips were blue. Though her flightsuit was water-repellant, it hadn't been sealed at the collar and wrists, allowing her clothes underneath to be thoroughly soaked. Ice crystals were forming in the folds of the coarse outer material and in the strands of her wet hair.
Luke hadn't even noticed the freezing temperature when he was running. Now he realized the danger ― Mara was almost frozen to death.
"Come back to me, Mara," he whispered in desperation as he clutched her against his body. Picking her up, he surveyed his surroundings. The ground was saturated all around them, and the wind was growing stronger, stinging his face sharply. The tiny one-man shelter in his pack wouldn't offer nearly enough protection from the bitter cold. He had to get her somewhere dry and warm.
Luke closed his eyes and did his best to relax. The Force would guide him. It had to.
He slowly opened his eyes, and turned to the southwest. That way, the Force seemed to whisper.
Snatching up Mara's fallen pack, he set off at a brisk pace. He had walked only a few minutes when something made him stop. Here, came the Force's soothing call. Holding a glow rod out, he shined it all around. A small mammal darted through a growth of underbrush, and Luke saw a stone outcropping, beneath which was an almost hidden indentation in the rock.
Luke pulled a clump of brush away and bent slightly to gain entrance. Waving the glow rod around, he saw that the ground inside was dry and the air was still. Only extending about five meters back, it could barely be called a cave, but it would be more than sufficient to provide them with shelter.
After gently laying Mara's limp body down, Luke pulled out one of their thin survival blankets. Spreading it out on the hard-packed dirt, he moved her on top of it, then retrieved the portable heaters from both their packs and turned them on full power. Luke knew he had to get the wet clothes off Mara to prevent hypothermia, but then what? A search of both packs revealed no spare clothes, and he wasn't sure if two blankets alone would be enough. If only he had thought to bring a dry flightsuit with him from the ship.
Luke glanced down at himself. He did have one dry set of clothes. Even the fatigues he wore underneath shouldn't be too sweaty, as they were made from a special-weave fabric designed for ventilation during long space flights.
His mind made up, Luke shucked off his own boots and flightsuit, then gingerly tugged Mara's boots off and began undoing the fasteners on her sodden jumpsuit. Moving quickly, he pulled it off her nearly frozen body, followed by her shirt and pants. He hesitated a second as he reached her undergarments, then continued on, as they were likewise soaked.
"You can give me a tongue-lashing for this later, Mara," he whispered. "I'll welcome the sound of hearing your voice again."
These were not the circumstances under which he dreamed of seeing her beautiful body, but he had no time to gape now. He peeled off his own tunic and trousers, putting them on her as quickly as possible, followed by his flightsuit. He yanked off his socks and pulled them on her feet, being careful of her ankle, even though he knew she could feel nothing in her unconscious state.
After spreading her clothes out to dry, he sat back on his haunches. There were so many things about the Force he didn't know, but maybe, just maybe...
Pushing her wet hair away from her face and turning her on her side, Luke wrapped the edge of the blanket over her back. He then carefully lay down in front of her, holding her close with one arm as he pulled the second blanket over both of them. Unfortunately, there were too many layers of material between them for his body heat to reach her effectively.
Luke knew many survival guides advocated sharing body heat by skin-to-skin contact. Clearly those guides didn't foresee the danger of an ex-assassin waking up undressed and pressed against a man's similarly unclothed body. Yes, they had slept together in the palace in just their underwear, Luke reflected with fond remembrance, but that was to fool Palpatine. Judging from Mara's testy disposition toward him recently, it was probably best not to take any chances.
Breathing out slowly, Luke let the warmth of the Force engulf him. Now if he could just divert that warmth to Mara... He closed his eyes and set to work.
―――――
Several hours later, Luke came out of his Force trance. Reaching out mentally to Mara, he could feel her Force signature pulsating strongly. Luke sighed happily to himself. She was going to be fine!
He rose wearily and moved to sit cross-legged nearby, leaning back against the cave wall. It was nearly dawn, and still cold outside, but so far the heaters were holding out. Coupled with the residual effects of his Force-warming, the thermo-heaters were more than enough to stave off the chill from his bare skin.
Closing his eyes, he relaxed and thanked the Force for giving him the strength to help Mara.
―――――
Soon afterwards, Mara began to stir. Slowly drifting into consciousness, she tried to clear her muddled thoughts. She felt bundled up in something, and reflexively untangled herself from the blankets.
Mara rubbed her eyes. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was trudging along in the rain, then... falling.
She blinked, and looked around her. A glow rod lay next to a pair of portable heaters. She recognized the latter as the type she carried in her survival pack. But where did the second one come from, and who turned them on?
Mara raised herself up on one elbow to get a better view. She was in some kind of cave. But how did she get here? A sudden thought caused her to pause. She couldn't have managed to get here alone. She reached out with the Force, then froze. Through her foggy mind she could feel another presence.
Stang! Her hold-out blaster was missing. She slowly turned, looking behind her. Someone was sitting there, all right, someone...
"Luke!" Mara cried, as recognition came to her.
Luke opened his eyes and smiled at her. "Hi. Welcome back."
"What happened?" was all Mara could manage to mutter.
"You apparently fell down a hill. You were unconscious when I found you."
Mara digested this. It fit with what little she remembered. She looked up at Luke again, straining to see into the shadows where he sat.
"Where are your clothes?" she blurted out suddenly.
Luke gave a little chuckle. "You're wearing them."
Mara quickly looked down at herself in consternation. "What the...!"
Mara then noticed her own clothes lying on the other side of the heaters. "You took my clothes off!"
"They were soaking wet, and you were freezing to death," he hurried to explain. "Mara, believe me, I was rushing to get you into something dry and warm. I didn't... I would never..."
She looked at him intently. "I trust you." If it had been anyone else...
Luke nodded, then crawled over and felt her flightsuit. "Your clothes feel dry. So if you want to change back..."
"Sure, uh..."
Luke looked at her a second, then snagged his boots. "I'll wait outside," he said gallantly.
"All right." Mara stifled a laugh as she observed his attire of undershorts and boots. "Very becoming, Skywalker."
"You know me," he said with a wink. "Always on the cutting edge of fashion."
"Here, at least take this," she said, snatching up one of the blankets and throwing it at him. "I don't want to have to rescue you from freezing. And, uh, Skywalker?"
He paused and waited for her to continue.
"Thanks for the assist."
Luke gave her a warm smile. "You're welcome."
―――――
After both of them were redressed and had partaken of their usual ration bar breakfast, they set out for the elusive village. Luke adamantly insisted on accompanying Mara on the rest of her trek, arguing that he'd finished as much of the repair work as he could. They weren't going to be able to take off until they tracked down a new stabilizer rod.
They made their way through the forest, mostly in silence. Mara felt Luke was moving slower than he normally would have, for her benefit, which annoyed her no end and made her more determined than ever to keep up. It was bad enough that she had to lean on the makeshift staff he'd fashioned for her, carved from a sturdy branch by his lightsaber. She did grudgingly take his hand for help up a steep embankment, and chastised herself for feeling disappointed when he let go after reaching the top.
"Ready to take a break?" he asked suddenly.
"No, of course not," she spat, putting on her best indignant look.
"Mara, a few minutes of rest isn't going to matter. It isn't like we're going to go all the way tonight." An alternate meaning for his last sentence sprang unbidden to Luke's mind. He looked sharply at Mara, gratefully noting she seemed to be engrossed in her own thoughts.
I am getting tired, Mara thought. Why not just admit it to him? He won't think any less of me.
She resisted the urge to rub the knotted muscles in her calves. What's he mumbling about now? Mara swore she heard him say something about 'going all the way tonight.' But when she finally looked up at him, he was silent, staring off at nothing, his face an impenetrable mask.
Mara shivered slightly, the temperature beginning to drop as sunset loomed closer. "Let's just keep going. I'm ready to get out of this forsaken wilderness."
"All right," Luke acquiesced without further argument. "Perhaps for another hour, then we'll need to stop and find a place to camp for the night."
Mara grunted an acknowledgment, taking off with a renewed vigor.
―――――
"Is this what happened to you last night?" Luke asked after awhile. "You were determined to keep moving long after you should have stopped?" His tone was neither accusatory nor condescending.
"I was doing just fine last night," she retorted. Thoughobviously the night hadn't turned out 'just fine,'Mara thought with a grimace. "I can't help it that the rocks were slippery in the rain."
"They usually are." Luke turned, cracking a teasing grin.
"I didn't think Jedi were supposed to have smart mouths," she huffed, leaning on her stick a little more heavily.
"Never heard of any rules against it," he replied with a chuckle. "Good thing, too, if you're to become a Jedi."
That remark earned him a whack across the shoulder from her improvised cane.
"Ow! Hey, watch it," he complained.
"I have no intention of becoming a Jedi, and you know it," she snapped.
"All right, all right, I was just kidding," he protested, but Mara detected a twinkle in his eye. "Why don't you take the lead?" he then offered. At her questioning look, he added, "I want to stay out of reach of that new weapon of yours."
―――――
After nearly an hour more of walking, during which Luke easily overtook Mara, he called a halt to their trek.
"Here, this looks like a good place," he announced, indicating the small clearing they had entered. Mara looked around, too cold and tired to argue. She noted the inviting bed of pine needles that covered the ground.
"Sure, whatever," she said, dropping to the ground right where she stood.
Luke knew better than to comment on her uncommon complacency. He had felt her fatigue increase as they traveled, and had tried to slow their pace without provoking her ire.
He let his pack fall and scouted out their surroundings. "I don't think we'll find any wood dry enough for a fire," he informed his companion. He proceeded to check the fuel levels on their portable heaters.
"There's only about an hour's worth of fuel left in each one," Luke said. "I'll turn one on now, then switch the other on when the first runs out."
Not receiving any response, Luke looked behind him. Mara still sat in the same spot, eyes closed, apparently asleep.
Luke smiled to himself and pulled the two blankets out of their packs. Laying one hand on her shoulder, he softly called her name. Her eyes flew open, and Luke could just make out their shiny emerald brilliance in the twilight.
"Bedtime," he soothed. "Do you want a ration bar first? Or a drink of water?"
Mara shook her head. "No," she mumbled, lying down on her side and pulling her blanket over herself.
Luke unfolded the second blanket and started to drape it over her also.
"What are you doing?" She raised her head slightly. "That's yours."
"You can use it. I don't need it."
"Don't be ridiculous. Your flightsuit's no warmer than mine. You'll freeze."
"I'll be fine. I can keep warm with the Force."
"So can I," Mara countered. "Keep your blanket," she ordered, in a tone that indicated the discussion was over.
Luke shook his head, tucked the covering under his arm, and circled around to the other side of the heaters. Lying down, he looked across the encampment at his companion. He could tell she was already sound asleep. Rolling on his back, he peered up through the canopy of trees, but clouds continued to hide any view of the stars.
The sounds of small animals scurrying through nearby foliage echoed in Luke's ears, followed by the squawk of a predatory fowl. Luke didn't sense any danger from them, but he felt the reassuring weight of his lightsaber resting against his hip.
Sleep eluded him, and his thoughts turned once more to the woman sleeping a few meters away. Though she was no older than he was, he had thought of Mara as a grown woman ever since he had first met her. It was thinking of himself as a grown man, not a boy, that he was having trouble with. Perhaps it was because Han wouldn't quit calling him 'kid.'
Despite his years with the Rebellion, he still felt like an ignorant farmboy ― inexperienced and uneducated where galactic affairs were concerned. Mara had been raised at Imperial Court, tutored by preeminent scholars. In an odd sort of way, her upbringing paralleled Leia's. Groomed by the best, following the direction pointed by their master/foster-father.
But Luke didn't begrudge Leia being the one raised as royalty. He felt as uncomfortable as Han did in a dress uniform. He was just able to ignore it better.
All this musing brought him back to his original pondering. Could Mara ever be content with the likes of him? Could she ever... love him? Did he love her? Did he even know what love was? He kept remembering the infatuation he'd had when he first laid eyes on Leia's image. While he was certain Mara was not another long-lost sister, could he be sure this was more than another schoolboy crush?
Luke's thoughts were interrupted by the click of the first heater turning off. Rising wearily, he switched on the second machine, knowing it would never last the night. He glanced at Mara's huddled form, then, grabbing his blanket, spread it over her own. Cautiously reaching out, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. No, this was no simple crush he was feeling. This was different. Totally different. The agony he had felt when he first spotted her at the bottom of that ravine still echoed in his heart. He couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life without her.
Returning to his former spot, Luke curled onto his side and fell into a deep sleep.
―――――
Nearly two hours later, Mara stirred restlessly. A shiver ran through her, but strangely, she didn't feel very cold. It was as if she were experiencing someone else's... Mara's eyes snapped open in the darkness. She could barely make out Luke's figure through the gloom, but could tell he was no longer covered by a blanket. A quick check confirmed her suspicion ― she wore both coverings. Blast him!
Mara rose to return the survival blanket to Luke, or perhaps strangle him with it, she wasn't sure which. But as she crouched next to him, hearing the rhythm of his quiet breathing, the hostility drained out of her. She knew in her heart he wasn't being patronizing when he did kind things for her. He was just being himself. If she gave him back his blanket, she'd most likely wake up in the morning to find them both on her once more.
There was one solution to this, of course. And it wasn't as if they'd never shared the same coverings before. In fact, she had a sneaking suspicion he'd lain by her the previous night. Maybe he'd stay sleeping and wouldn't even notice.
Silently, Mara lay down on her left side facing Luke, drawing both covers up to their chins. After a few moments, he stirred slightly, and Mara felt him move his right arm down to cradle her head next to his. His flightsuit was partially unzipped, and his left hand was tucked inside the opening. Trying not to disturb him, Mara slipped one hand in on top of his.
Although the tempo of his breathing never changed, Luke's right hand curved down around Mara's back, pulling her closer. She froze for an instant. Was he awake? Or merely reacting to her in his sleep? Did it matter? The aura of peace and warmth being generated by him was overwhelming, and Mara felt herself floundering in it.
She intertwined her fingers with his inside his suit, squeezing his hand. He responded by lowering his face to hers. Their cold lips met in a warming kiss, lightly at first, then deepening into a passion that Mara hoped would never end. Luke pulled her even tighter against him, their legs entangling as their breath became ragged gasps.
Neither said a word, and eventually Luke pulled back slightly. He withdrew his hand from inside his suit, making sure hers stayed behind. Never opening his eyes, he wrapped both arms around her protectively as her face nestled against his neck. Mara felt herself falling into a peaceful slumber, her dreams merging with reality.
―――――
Luke awoke just as daybreak was dawning. He felt as if he were missing something, or someone. He peered across the camp to see Mara packing their gear into their packs. Something fluttered into Luke's eyes, and he gave a start as he realized it was snow.
"It just started a little while ago," came his companion's voice. Luke gave a grunt, then rose to his feet, shaking off the wintry flakes. He watched as Mara folded a blanket tightly, wedging it into her pack. Looking back at his bare sleeping spot, he decided she must have already packed the other covering. He remembered putting both of them over her during the night. But hadn't she...? Or had he been dreaming... again?
Mara paused, giving him her usual sarcastic stare. "You gonna help?" She waved toward the remaining equipment. "Or are you taking root right there?"
Jolted out of his reverie, Luke began disassembling the heaters. "Sorry," he muttered. "I was just thinking."
"Uh-huh." Mara took the now-folded heating device from him, stuffing it unceremoniously into his pack. "Sleep well?" she said abruptly.
Luke looked up nervously. Was she implying something? Or sounding him out? He swallowed the lump in his throat, and refocused on the second heater. "Uh, yeah." He glanced out the corner of one eye, trying to gauge her reaction. "How about you?"
"Fine," she said flippantly, grabbing the other heater out of his hand and cramming it into her own pack. She rose, tossing him a ration bar. "Here, you can eat this on the way. We need to get going. This snow doesn't look like it's going to let up any time soon."
Luke slung his survival pack onto his back, and peeled open the ration bar. Not surprisingly, Mara had already taken off ahead of him. He hastened to catch up, noting that she still had sense enough to use the walking stick he'd made for her. The snow already covered the ground enough that they left footprints prominently trailing behind them.
Mara plowed along in silence. She probably could have done without the cane, but, well, Luke had made it for her, and she didn't feel like leaving it behind. Not that anybody in the galaxy had better dare call her sentimental. She glanced over her shoulder at her 'shadow,' who looked away quickly when caught staring at her. He hadn't mentioned last night at all, which rather surprised Mara. Luke had a penchant for blurting out all kinds of emotional retrospection, though they hadn't had anything this personal to discuss in a long time. A sudden thought occurred to Mara ― maybe he didn't even remember last night. Maybe he had been asleep the entire time.
Well, she certainly wouldn't be forgetting it any time soon. A flush ran through her as she recalled huddling against him under the warm blankets, his strong arms pulling her closer, his breath warming her cheek, his burning lips covering hers. The thought of falling asleep with him every night like that quickened her pulse, and consequently distracted her enough that she stumbled over a branch half-hidden in the snow. Blast him to all creation!
"Are you okay?" Luke was suddenly at her side, grasping her elbow to prevent her from falling. She pulled away from him brusquely.
"Let go," she demanded. "You don't have to baby me."
"Sorry," he murmured meekly, dropping back to his subservient position. It seemed like he was always apologizing to her for something or other. Which made him believe all the more that he had dreamed what happened between them last night. If he had actually taken that much liberty with her, she'd have bitten his head off. In fact, he probably wouldn't even be alive right now to be thinking about it. Well, at least it had been a good dream. Wasn't the first time he'd awakened with images of Mara still floating in his head. But aside from that dream of them together in the whirlpool, it was definitely the most realistic. He wouldn't mind having one like that every night. Perhaps even with a little more detail. Or a lot more.
Luke sighed to himself, trudging along through the deepening drifts. Maybe that's all there would ever be between them. Just dreams.
―――――
The wet snowflakes grew denser as the morning wore on, confirming Mara's prediction. To make matters worse, the wind had intensified tenfold. It stung at their faces and hampered their vision. Mara had pushed her long braid of hair down inside her collar, but the gusts were determined to make a mockery of her attempts to keep it out of her face.
Luke squinted, watching as Mara yet again pushed a damp strand away from her eyes. Her ears, cheeks, and nose were red, and her lips were fast becoming chapped. Luke was sure he didn't look in any better shape.
"Mara, wait up!" he called over the deafening howling. He pulled her behind some dense shrubbery that provided a mediocre windbreak.
"We need to keep going," she protested.
"We need to cover our heads," he countered, already digging in his pack for the trusty blanket. Pulling it out, he folded it more or less into a triangle. Mara didn't object as he brushed the snowflakes out of her hair, then wrapped the covering around her head, knotting the ends together with his frozen fingers. Only her emerald eyes peered out at him in gratitude.
Mara pointed wordlessly at her own pack, and Luke moved behind her to repeat his actions with the other blanket. She helped him pull it tightly about his face, blue eyes blinking at her in silent appreciation.
(I can't believe your Alliance can't even pack gloves or headgear in a survival pack,) Mara groused in mental communication as they resumed their trek, annoyed that both of them had left their flight gloves back at the B-wing.
Luke didn't reply, but reached out once more to pull her to a stop. How could he be so thoughtless? He pried her numb fingers off her walking stick, taking the makeshift cane into his own right hand. Linking his left arm with her right, he stuck both their hands inside his pocket. Mara started to complain, just out of habit, but realized the sensibility of the arrangement. His right hand couldn't get frostbite, and the pole definitely helped brace them against the fury of the blizzard.
Now steadier against the wind, they continued on toward the hoped-for sanctuary of the village. By midday, they were both tired, hungry, and frozen to the core. Despite his bravado, Mara could sense that Luke wasn't coping any better with the snowstorm than she was. She spotted a grove of towering evergreen trees, their branches extending down all the way to the ground.
Mara tugged on Luke's arm, and nodded toward a particularly large specimen. (In there,) she sent. (We need to take a break.)
He agreed silently, and they stooped low as they pushed the snow-laden branches aside and made their way into the inner refuge of the huge tree. They found an opening near the trunk with just enough room for them to slump to the ground. The snow had barely penetrated here, and the wind was only a distant din.
Mara felt a bit disappointed as Luke pulled their joined hands out of his pocket and began rummaging in his pack for the ever-popular ration bar. It had felt good, Mara thought to herself, having him clasp her hand tightly like that. In fact, it felt better and better every time they held hands for one reason or another.
Luke pulled the covering away from his mouth, and handed Mara her portion of lunch. "Of all things, why did we have to go and crash here in the middle of winter?" he griped. "And in a blizzard yet." He ripped open the packaging and bit off the end of the bar in undisguised exasperation.
Mara raised an eyebrow in surprise. She'd been around Luke for over two months, but had never heard him resort to pitiful whining like this. "Why, Skywalker, I would think a desert boy like you would appreciate the novelty of snow," she teased, trying to lighten his mood.
"If I never saw snow again in my whole life, it would be too soon."
This was really piquing Mara's curiosity. "You have some kind of bad experience involving snow?" she guessed.
"You could say that," he bit out, then decided she needed more of an explanation, and would probably hound him until she got it. "Hoth. I almost died in a blizzard on Hoth."
Mara turned her full attention to her companion at this unexpected revelation. "I remember the reports of the battle on Hoth, but I thought you were in a snowspeeder."
"This was a couple days before the battle. I was out on patrol, on a tauntaun." He paused, looking at Mara.
"Go on," she motioned. "I've seen holos of them." She reflected silently on the hardships that the Rebels had endured just to stay one step ahead of the Empire. Even the confidential reports of the Imperial hierarchy disregarded the adverse conditions under which the determined insurgents fought and lived; the propaganda issued to the general populace blatantly distorted those conditions.
"Well, I thought I saw a meteorite hit and radioed to Han that I wanted to check it out before coming in. I found out later it was actually an Imperial probe droid, which was how they found us."
Luke's use of the word 'they,' instead of 'you,' didn't escape her attention. As always, he seemed to completely disassociate her from the Empire, and she didn't feel compelled to change his line of thinking.
"Anyway," he continued, "just as I clicked off the comlink, I was attacked by this huge snow creature called a wampa. It swiped me across the face with its claws, knocking me unconscious." He absently ran his fingers along the faint scars on his face. "That's how I got these," he murmured.
I'm still learning new things about him, Mara thought to herself. She had noticed the indistinct marks, but had never gotten up the nerve to ask him about them, a fact which surprised her no end. She turned her attention away from his face, as he was continuing with his story.
"The wampa dragged both me and my then-dead tauntaun back to its lair. When I came to, my feet were frozen to the ceiling of an ice cavern, and I was hanging upside down, waiting to be the next course."
"Next course?" Mara questioned, not liking his inference.
Luke nodded. "It was chewing on the remains of my tauntaun. I must have made a noise, 'cause it looked up and moved toward me." Luke started to take another bite of his food stick, then decided against it. "Terrified wouldn't begin to describe how I felt."
Luke shivered slightly, remembering that harrowing episode in his life. Mara reached over and took his hand in hers, squeezing it in friendship. He gave her a slight smile, then returned to his narration.
"Then I spotted my lightsaber laying nearby, naturally nearly a meter beyond my reach and buried halfway in the snow, to boot. Keep in mind, I'd had very little training at this point. I'd taught myself to lift pebbles and such with the Force, but nothing as big as my saber. I held out my hand, like I expected it to just fly right at me. And the wampa was getting closer and closer." Luke closed his eyes in reflection. "I'm still not sure how, but I managed to relax and draw on the Force, and suddenly the lightsaber was in my hand. I cut myself loose and swung at the wampa. I don't even think I killed it; I just ran out of the cave for all I was worth."
"Why didn't―?" Mara began.
"I couldn't find my comlink," he interrupted. "And if you were going to ask why I didn't kill the creature and stay in the cave, I've never claimed to always do the smart thing." He grinned a bit sheepishly. "I think I was afraid there might be more creatures. And how else could I experience the 'novelty,' as you put it, of trudging through a blizzard in knee-high snow, with dried blood frozen to my face, falling down a snow bank and collapsing in a drift unconscious. That was the first time Ben appeared to me, though," he added, staring off in remembrance.
"Ben appeared, in a blizzard?" Mara knew who Ben was. One couldn't be around Luke much without hearing about Ben Kenobi.
"I'm not sure if I woke up and saw him, or if he entered my unconscious mind, but he was there," Luke declared with conviction. "He told me to go to Dagobah, to train with Master Yoda."
"Just like that? How did he know you were even going to survive?"
Luke smiled again. "He just knew."
"So how did you manage to live through that?"
"Han. Han came looking for me when I didn't show up at the base. The snowspeeders weren't working yet, so he rode back out on a tauntaun. It was getting close to dark, and the temperature plunges rapidly on Hoth. He risked his life for me, Mara."
As Mara listened to Luke's narrative, she felt her insides clenching at the thought of how close he came to dying ― and how close she came to never meeting him. The fate of the galaxy, and her own fate, had teetered unknowingly on the actions of a hungry beast and the steadfast friendship of a strong-willed smuggler.
"Han cares about you, Luke. You're like a little brother to him."
Luke shrugged. "Guess so. Anyway, he found me passed out in the snow, nearly frozen to death."
"How'd he manage to locate you?"
"I think Ben guided him, but don't bring up that theory to Han." Luke laughed. "As soon as he dismounted, he said his tauntaun fell over dead from the cold. So what's he do, but uses my lightsaber to slice it open, and stuffs me inside to keep me warm till he gets a shelter erected."
Mara wrinkled her nose just at the thought. "I'm glad there weren't any tauntauns handy when you found me."
"You should be," he returned. "I'm eternally grateful to Han, don't get me wrong. But I swear I can still smell that stench." Luke leaned back against a branch. "The next morning, snowspeeders appeared and picked us up. They must have worked all night to get a squad in working order."
He looked over and gave Mara a wink. "So now you know the whole sordid tale."
"I won't kid you about snow ever again, promise," she said with a smile. "But we can't stay in this tree forever. I don't think we can count on Han rescuing us here."
"Nope, guess not." Luke rose, waiting for Mara, who looked a bit hesitant.
"Uh, Skywalker, before we get all bundled up again and go back out there, uh ..." She glanced around, avoiding his gaze. "I could sure use a refresher about now."
Luke shook his head in amusement. "I spotted one about a kilometer back. Wish you'd said something then," he said drolly.
She kicked him lightly with her foot. "Smart aleck."
He motioned off into the dense branches. "Go ahead. I'll avail myself of the men's facilities back this way," he said, pointing over his shoulder in the opposite direction.
But instead of heading out, Mara crouched and began rummaging through their packs.
"What are you looking for?" Luke asked curiously. She'd already pocketed her vial of hand sanitizer, he'd noticed, so what else...?
"Something to use for 'fresher wipes," she bit out, not looking up. "When we get back, I'm lodging a complaint about the inadequacy of Alliance-issued survival packs."
Luke stared at her huddled form a moment, then got up the nerve to ask another question. "We've been out here several days. What did you use before?"
She turned just enough to give him a sarcastic look. "I managed to find a tree with big, soft leaves."
Luke chuckled, then began feeling in the multiple pockets of his jumpsuit. Triumphantly, he pulled out a piece of cloth. "How about a mechanic's rag? It's fairly clean; it was a spare."
Mara snatched it out of his hand with a grateful look, then turned and pushed her way through the prickly branches.
After taking care of his own business, Luke returned to their tiny campsite. He was just shrugging his pack onto his back in the close confines of the space when Mara returned.
"All set?" he asked.
"Be right with you." She gathered her own gear, and followed Luke out of the confines of their refuge.
―――――
Mara joined Luke on the leeward side of their tree. The fierceness of the blizzard had increased during their break, a fact that neither of them wanted to acknowledge out loud.
"Ready to get going?" she asked, not any more anxious than he was to brave the vicious storm once more.
No, I'm ready to drag you back under this tree and ravish you, Luke thought. But, he just gave her a bittersweet half-smile and nodded.
"Hey, you, we'll be fine." She reached up with her thumbs, pushing up the corners of his mouth into a smile. "I want to see a real smile." A genuine, melt-a-girl's-heart, Skywalker smile, she thought.
And she got it.
Mara's heart skipped a beat. Stars, she wanted him! She reached up with just one hand this time, and traced his lips with a fingertip. "Your lips are chapped," she whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the wind's howl.
Luke hesitated only a second before leaning over and kissing her gently. "So are yours," he whispered back, before straightening up and smiling once more.
"Flirting again, Jedi? What will people think?"
"I'll let you in on a secret, Jade. You're the only one who's ever witnessed me flirting."
"Do tell. And why would that be?"
"Because there's no one else I have any desire to flirt with."
Mara started to open her mouth to retort, but Luke quickly reached up and pulled her makeshift scarf to cover her mouth and nose.
(You think that's going to stop me?) she sent silently.
He pulled up his own covering. (No, but maybe it'll keep one or both of us from putting a foot in our mouth if we keep up this conversation.) His blue eyes sparkled in amusement at her.
Mara gave him an acknowledging wink and nod, and slipped her right hand down into its warm spot inside his left pocket. But instead of joining her there with his left hand, he pulled her close, reaching behind her to insert his already cold hand into the confines of her left pocket, the fingers of their now united hands quickly intertwining.
(I think we'll have more support against the wind this way,) he sent.
(Whatever you say, Farmboy.) Mara sent him a burst of laughter through the Force.
He hugged her a little tighter and grasped the walking stick once more. They both lowered their heads and braced themselves to pierce the fury of the snowstorm. But their hearts were a little warmer as they met the gust of wind that greeted them.
