Jedi-Princess, Mara look-a-like, Calli1: Thanks!

Amanda: How long will they be stuck on the planet? Too long. Long enough. :p

Random-idiot: Better watch that cough. And proceed with caution in this next chapter. Could be one of those adult scenes. Sort of.

Here we go ― what everyone has been waiting for. Or maybe not.


A Journey of Discovery -- Book Two: Pledge

Chapter Five

As Luke plodded down the steep staircase, he realized that he wasn't sure what he had been about to announce to Mara. 'I don't want us to ever be apart'? 'I'll get us out of here'? Or had he been ready to utter 'I want to make love to you,' or simply 'I love you'? He was a trained Jedi and a war hero, but he turned into a stammering fool when it came to matters of the heart. No wonder Mara's temper was so unpredictable. One moment he's flirting worse than Lando, and the next he can barely look her in the eye without his nerves being tied in knots. Luke could feel that pendulum swinging back out again, and he had the distinct feeling it was all his fault.

So engrossed was Luke in his self-deprecating musings that the normally nimble-footed Jedi nearly stumbled when a voice boomed at the bottom of the steps.

"So ye finally made it down here." Merta glanced at the worn log carrier clutched in his hand. "I see ye've come for the wood first. Come along, then, lad."

Merta directed Luke to a lean-to shelter attached to the back of the building. Firewood was stacked only about a meter high. "As ye can see, I'll be needin' to get more wood cut soon. We go through a lot this time o' year."

Luke paused as he was filling the leather carrier. "Would you like me to cut some wood for you tomorrow? I need to do some kind of tasks, to pay you back for your generosity."

"Aye, that would be appreciated..., Luke, is it?"

He nodded affirmatively. "Yes, Luke Skywalker."

Luke continued filling the carrier with assorted pieces of firewood, then paused and looked questioningly at Merta. "Is this sufficient to last the night?" he asked, gesturing toward his load. "I want to make sure it stays warm enough for Mara."

Merta smiled at his unabashed concern for his roommate. "Aye, that should be plenty." As Luke straightened up, she added. "Ye should sleep on the side o' the bed near the wall, so she'll be closer to the fire."

Luke started to object to Merta's obvious assumption that he and Mara would both be sleeping in the room's lone bed, but she held up a hand to silence him.

"Hold her close, lad," the motherly figure said with a smile, "and ye'll both stay warm tonight."

Luke simply nodded, not feeling up to trying to explain his and Mara's unusual relationship. He wasn't sure he even could.

"Come back down after ye unload yer wood, and I'll have some supper ready for ye."

"All right, thank you."

―――――

When Luke returned to the attic, Mara was bustling with activity. Luke watched as she exited the refresher, carrying a full bucket of water. With a small towel, she removed one of a pair of steaming pails that hung suspended over the fire and replaced it with the new bucket, then retreated with the hot water back to the refresher.

"What's all this?" Luke called to her, as he could hear a squeaking, pumping noise coming from her direction.

"Just heating water so we can wash up," she explained as she passed him, repeating her previous actions with a second bucket.

Luke started to ask if she needed help, just out of habit, but stopped himself. He had a feeling that if she wanted him to assist, he would have already heard the instructions.

"Guess I'll go get us some food now," he went on, stepping out of the way as she swept back toward the refresher.

"Fine," she returned over her shoulder.

Luke once more descended the narrow stairway, deep in thought. At least she's still talking to me.

―――――

As Luke entered their room with a stack of clothes and their dinner, he could detect a sense of relaxation coming from Mara, but didn't see her in the bedroom. Setting the meal portion of his load down, he knocked lightly on the refresher door. "Mara?"

"Come in," he heard her call. Cautiously he opened the door, then froze when he spotted her. Mara was sitting in the bathtub, soap bubbles up to her neck and head resting on the back edge of the tub. She had the most peaceful look on her face that Luke had ever seen.

"Well, come on in," she repeated, not opening her eyes. "You've seen me in more revealing positions than this."

Luke quietly entered, wishing he hadn't disturbed her. "I... uh... brought us a change of clothes for tomorrow, and Merta also sent something for us to sleep in tonight."

Mara opened one eye as he set her garments on a nearby stool.

"There's also some dinner for us, in the outer room," Luke continued, nodding toward the doorway.

"It'll keep awhile longer," Mara murmured. "Ahhh..." she sighed, sinking a little lower in the water. "Oh, Luke, this is so wonderful."

She looked up at him, smiling. "You're welcome to join me. I could make room for you in here," she invited teasingly, hoping for a compliant reaction.

What she got was a rather flustered look. "The water would overflow," he blurted out.

"We can dip some of it out," she countered.

"It doesn't look like there's enough room," he objected.

"Just be that much cozier," Mara rejoined, trying to hide her disappointment that he was making excuses. She looked up at him as he stepped closer to her, then followed his face downward as he knelt next to the tub.

"I don't think that would be a very good idea," he said quietly, his face a mask of seriousness as he stared into her eyes.

Mara swallowed, breaking eye contact with him and wishing she could take back her flirtatious offer. "No, I guess not," she muttered.

Luke gave her a weak smile, and exited the refresher.

Once back in the bedroom, Luke leaned against the wall, eyes closed and heart pounding. What is wrong with you, Skywalker? She was offering... Stars, what was she offering? Companionship? Or more? Are you so scared it would be more?

―――――

As soon as Luke left, Mara gripped the sides of the tub and let out a deep breath. What in the worlds has come over you, Jade? What if he'd said yes? You know perfectly well what being in this tub with him could lead to. Are you prepared to take that next step? Sith, no, you're not!

Mara picked up a nearby washcloth and, with mechanical motions, began to bathe herself. But she no longer felt any pleasure in her watery oasis.

―――――

Luke finally pushed away from the wall and tossed a few more pieces of wood into the fireplace. Sitting on the floor, he watched the dancing flames. How long could the two of them keep up this up-and-down gravicoaster ride? It was bad enough that his emotions were bouncing all over the place. Now her attitude toward him was shifting gears with every turn. Was he supposed to be able to figure out how to react to her? Trying to decipher Mara's mood swings was like trying to anticipate the erratic moves of a charging Kalli beast. Guess wrong, and you may not live to regret it.

For a brief moment, Luke wished Han was around to consult with, then quickly dismissed the thought. Whatever his relationship with Mara was turning into, it was not something he needed Han ribbing him about.

Luke stared into the red-gold tongues of fire, mesmerized by the way they reminded him of Mara's hair. He flinched slightly as a soft hand touched his shoulder. "Your turn," was all she said.

Mara sat down next to him, but didn't look in his direction.

"Thanks," Luke croaked, trying to find his voice. He rose and looked down at her huddled figure. She was wearing the sleeping shift from Merta, and had it pulled down over her knees, which were drawn up to her chin. It seemed to him that she was as nervous and confused as he was.

"Your dinner is in there," he continued, pointing to a wicker basket.

"All right," she replied, not looking up.

Luke went into the refresher and bathed quickly, not enjoying it nearly as much as he thought he should. It was the first time he'd been in a bathtub since... the Emperor's palace. Reflecting further, he realized it was the first time he'd ever been in a tub alone.

Dressed only in a pair of borrowed sleep pants, he went back out into the bedroom and found Mara sitting in exactly the same position as when he left. Their dinners sat untouched.

"You didn't have to wait for me," Luke said.

At the sound of his voice, she stirred from her reverie. "You waited," she pointed out. "Besides, I don't like to eat alone."

Since when? thought Luke. She seemed to prefer solitude, from what he could tell in the time he'd known her.

"Well, I'm nearly starved, so let's see what we've got here." Luke pulled away the heavy towels that covered their two bowls.

Mara perked up finally, reaching into the basket for the covered jars that contained their drinks. "You're always nearly starved," she joked before taking a sip of the cool, creamy milk.

"I'm a growing boy," Luke countered, glad for her latest mood shift. "Some kind of stew. Smells good."

"Hmm," Mara agreed. She accepted her portion from Luke and took a bite. "Tastes good, too, whatever it is."

They ate in silence for awhile, Mara realizing she had been just as famished as Luke.

"What do you think our chances of finding a new stabilizer are?" she eventually asked.

Luke swallowed his mouthful before replying. "On a scale of one to ten? About negative two."

Mara nodded in agreement, her mouth full again. After taking a drink, she continued. "I don't hold out much hope for a communications station, either. I haven't seen any evidence of technology anywhere."

She took another bite, with a drink to wash it down. "How can people live like this?"

"Oh, I don't know, Mara." Luke smiled. "It's peaceful here. No airspeeders buzzing past. Birds chirping instead of comlinks. I could get used to this."

"Keep that in mind when we're still stuck here a month from now," Mara humphed, then instantly regretted reminding him of their being stranded.

But Luke seemed to have gotten past his feelings of guilt, at least for the time being. "You've never been to Dagobah," he said with a laugh. "I'll admit I've no desire to discover a snake or lizard sharing my seat. But this is a refreshing change of pace."

"But how... how is it they are so uncivilized here?"

"Everyone seemed pretty civilized to me."

"You know what I mean." Mara scowled. "It's like they've never had any contact with how the rest of the galaxy lives." She waved her spoon at him. "And how is it they speak Basic? Answer me that, bright boy."

"I don't know, Mara." Luke sighed. "Maybe we'll get some answers tomorrow."

A strained silence fell as they finished their meal, neither of them ready to broach the subject of bedtime. Setting her empty dish aside, Mara finally decided if she didn't take the plunge, they might end up sitting in the same spot all night.

"I suppose we should get to bed," she began tentatively. "We'll surely have a busy day tomorrow." Mara rose, but Luke remained sitting. "You coming?"

"I'll just sleep here on the floor," he murmured, not budging from his cross-legged position.

"No, you won't," Mara objected with a frown. "You're just as tired as I am, and we both deserve a comfortable bed after sleeping in a cockpit and on the ground for the past four nights."

"I'll be fine," he insisted. "There's extra quilts over there," he went on, nodding toward a rack in the corner.

Mara grabbed his upper arm, tugging on him to rise. "Skywalker, it's a big bed. We're adults; we can share it."

"Mara...," he whined, shaking his head even as he allowed himself to be pulled upright.

"It won't be any different than when we slept together in your suite." She cupped his chin with her hand, forcing him to look her in the eye. "Right?"

"Right?" she repeated, as he pulled back from her hold and reluctantly circled around to climb into the far side of the bed.

"Right," Luke whispered under his breath. No different at all.

―――――

Luke lay on his back, watching the dancing patterns of firelight playing out on the ceiling. He was doing his best to keep his mind on the obligations he felt were his sole responsibility on this mission. I need to get that blasted B-wing repaired. I need to get us off this planet and on our way to Lorrd. I need to get a message back to Coruscant. I need... Lukecould hear Mara turning over restlessly. I need to take her in my arms and cover her with kisses...

―――

Mara could tell Luke was still awake. Outwardly, he was lying perfectly still. But inwardly, she could feel his Force sense twitching as agitatedly as hers was. Hugging her pillow tightly, Mara turned to face the warm fire, wishing she could draw more comfort from the flickering flames. Do other couples have this much trouble with their emotions? And at what point did I start thinking of Luke and me as a 'couple'?

―――

Luke rolled over wearily, sleep still eluding him. He listened to the crackling of the flames, the only sound breaking the stillness of the room. He thought back to the previous night. No, it hadn't been a dream. She had come to him. And she had returned his kisses. He wanted to hold her and kiss her, again and again. He wanted it so badly he could taste it ― could taste her lips, smell the scent of her hair. She was driving him mad with desire, and she wasn't even touching him.

An inner voice mocked Luke's every thought. If you want her so much, why didn't you get in the blasted bathtub with her? Because you're a coward, that's why. A Sith-forsaken coward. You love her, don't you? If you don't have the guts to tell her how you feel, then quit leading her on. Let her go... Let her go...

"NO!" Luke sat bolt upright in bed. "I can't do that!"

Mara rose up, instantly sweeping her surroundings with the Force. "Luke, what is it?" She didn't sense any danger nearby, but Luke's emotions were a swirling mass of turmoil. "What's wrong?"

He pulled up his knees, and buried his face in his hands. "I can't, Mara," he said shakily.

"Can't what?" Mara fought the fear that threatened to rise in her throat. What was he going to say? That he couldn't return her feelings? How could he even know what her feelings were, when she had trouble admitting them to herself?

"I should really sleep on the floor," was all that he could manage to get out, ignoring her question. He started to edge his way out of bed, but Mara grabbed his arm.

"Skywalker, what is wrong with you!"

His voice was nearly breaking, and he didn't turn around as he attempted to put his feelings into words. "I... can't... lie this close to you and not... not..."

Mara sat up in bed, and tugged on his arm until he turned to face her. She could see the pain reflected on his face by the wavering flames in the fireplace. "Luke," she murmured soothingly, struggling to keep her voice calm as she latched onto his hand. "Talk to me. You know you can share anything with me." She braced herself, determined to accept whatever he had to say.

Luke took a deep breath and spoke slowly, his eyes locked on their joined hands. "During all my training, I was taught over and over to trust my feelings. And right now, my feelings are telling me, screaming at me, that I am... desperately... in love with you." He fell silent. His impromptu confession had surprised even himself. But for better or worse, he knew he had spoken the truth.

A feeling of ecstatic amazement flooded through Mara as she scooted closer to him, searching in her heart for the right phrases to express her own hidden emotions. All doubt as to what those emotions were vanished in a heartbeat. This was the most important moment of their lives; they had to be completely honest with themselves and with one another. How could she convince this man how much he meant to her? She reached up and gently caressed his cheek.

"Luke," she began softly. "Ever since I met you, actually met you, in that prison cell, you have been a beacon of light and hope to me. After Palpatine, I thought all I wanted was to be independent, to not let myself be emotionally attached to anyone. But the more time I spend with you, the more I know that I never want to be apart from you. Ever." She looked deeply into his azure eyes. "I love you, Luke Skywalker. I need you with me. I need you to love me."

The anxiety that had been gripping Luke's heart was suddenly replaced by joyous relief, and he unknowingly released a pent-up breath. Smiling more broadly than he ever had in his life, he brought his own hands up and cupped her face. "I do love you, Mara Jade. I love you so much..."

Their lips abruptly met in a passionate kiss, their hands clutching at each other in the unburdening of their mutually suppressed yearnings. Luke drew her down into the softness of the feather mattress, the feeling of her lithe body beneath his intensifying his cravings. His hand stroked her tender neck and shoulder, and he marveled at the silkiness of her skin. Mara could feel the tightening of his muscles across his strong back, and a wave of nervousness cut into her deepening desire.

"Luke," she whispered into his ear. He lifted his head slightly, waiting for her to continue. "Before we go any further, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?" He gently encouraged her to go on, easily sensing her anxiety.

"I've... never... actually been with a man before, not like this."

Luke rose up on one elbow, a look of astonishment crossing his face. "You've... never... had sex? Mara, I never dreamed... I just assumed..."

"What? You think I'm some kind of trollop? That I sleep around?" Her face contorted in sudden anger.

"No, no! I would never think that," he hurried to assure her. Luke fell back on his own pillow, and began laughing quietly.

"What in blazes is so funny?" Mara began pounding his chest with her fists, tears starting to run down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I'm not as experienced as you are."

He seized her wrists and pulled her down close to him. Reaching up, he gently wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "Believe me, Mara, you are."

At her incredulous look, he went on. "You have exactly the same amount of experience as I do."

"You mean... you never either?"

Luke shook his head, a rather abashed smile crossing his face.

"Are you sure?"

"Mara, I think I'd remember!"

Mara's frown was turning into a relieved grin. "Well, it seems everyone here is wrong ― we make a fine pair!" She stroked his face softly, just making out his sparkling eyes in the fire's soft glow. "So now what?"

"What'd you mean, now what?" Luke chuckled. "I haven't lost the desire!"

Mara scrambled atop him, quickly covering his mouth with hers. Her glossy hair fell down around them, obscuring both their faces. Luke's hands roamed up and down her back, causing her to squirm that much more.

Abruptly, Mara raised her head and pecked a light kiss on the tip of his nose. "So, when were you going to tell me?" she questioned, an amused glint in her eyes. "Or were you just going to bluff your way through?"

"I guess I wasn't thinking that far ahead," he admitted, laughing. "And it's not the kind of thing a guy just blurts out. I'm not as brave as you, remember."

"Don't you forget it!"

Mara once more lowered her head, and Luke eagerly captured her lips with his own. Clutching her tightly, he rolled them over so that he once more held the dominant position. As he gazed into her expectant face, her words began echoing in his head. Were you just going to bluff your way through? Bluff your way through... Bluff your way... The sound of Mara's voice suddenly morphed into his own nagging conscience. Are you sure you're ready for this, Skywalker? For a guy who's been dragging his feet for months, you're moving awfully fast. This is a big step for both of you. Are you giving Mara the consideration she deserves?

"Luke?" Mara watched the emotion in his smoky eyes swirling, changing. What was he thinking? Was he as nervous as she was? Were they actually going to do this? Right now? Was she ready? Her mind jeered at any attempts to make sense of her vacillating feelings. You weren't ready when you brazenly invited him into the tub with you. What makes you think you're ready now?

An image of his aunt and uncle suddenly popped into Luke's brain, his uncle's gruff words tauntingly accurate. The boy's always too impatient... Never stops to think things through... Never remembers what we've taught him...

"I remember," Luke mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

Luke didn't answer right away, but instead slid off to her side. Gently he ran his fingers through her hair, pushing it back away from her face.

"Mara," he whispered slowly. Mara's anxiety mounted as she studied the intense look on his face. "I..." His voice faltered as he bit his bottom lip.

Mara traced one finger along his jawline. "Yes?" she said, encouraging him to continue.

"Mara, since we've both waited this long, do you think we could wait just a little while longer?" He glanced at her, trying to decipher her bewildered expression.

And bewildered she was. Did he know what she had been thinking? A flash of indignation flared through her ― resentment that he had intruded into her thoughts. But the spark quickly vanished. She hadn't felt him enter her mind. She could feel the yearning coursing through him, but it had been tempered somehow, muted into something more solemn and less impulsive.

Summoning his courage, Luke continued. "I love you, Mara. And as much as my body would like to satisfy these rising urges this very moment, I want you to know this is not a passing infatuation for me. When we make love, it will be the beginning of a beautiful journey of discovery for both of us." He paused to take a breath. "I would like to begin that journey with you first becoming my wife." He looked at her intently, waiting to gauge her reaction.

Mara stared at him in a mixture of wonder and relief. He was proposing! To say that she was astounded would be putting it mildly. Without a doubt, she had found the most honorable man in the galaxy, and he loved her! He loved her! And he wanted to marry her! How could she possibly be worthy of him? Noticing the anxious look in his eyes, she knew she had to say something.

"Oh, my stars," she breathed. No, that wasn't what she meant to say. Jade, you're going to worry him to death. Just say what's in your heart.

"Luke," she began again, stroking his face in reassurance. "I love you, and I long to feel your body beside mine. You are so special to me, and I want our first time together to be equally special, no matter when it occurs." She kissed him lightly. "I would be honored to begin our journey together by having you as my husband."

Luke's mouth widened in a joyous smile, relief pouring through him. Without a doubt, he had to be the luckiest man in the galaxy. Maybe he was moving fast, in another direction, but he had no regrets whatsoever.

"And as far as waiting goes..." Mara gave him a mischievous look. "You know how I like a good challenge, especially when it involves you. I can hold out as long as you can."

Luke pulled her close, nuzzling her neck then moving to kiss her passionately. Consuming desire once more threatened to overtake them both.

(Just don't make it too long a wait,) Mara sent, deepening their kiss.

(You don't have to worry about that,) Luke returned. He finally pulled back, settling into his pillow and hugging her closely. "As soon as we get out of this blasted nebula and the comm works again, I may call ahead to have a magistrar ready."

Mara nestled her head into the crook of his neck. "Better have him waiting at the docking bay, Farmboy."