A/N: Hello fellow readers! Sorry for taking so long on updating! This one is a woozy! Plus, I've been reading Phantom by Susan Kay (amazing book by the way) and school starts in a week for me. In this chapter, Monsieur Firmin will be Mr. detergent and Monsieur Andre will be Mr. laundry! Awww, they go so well together! (Some people like me also keep laundry in their bathrooms! Okay, I'm probably the only one, but it's the best I can come up with!) Carlotta, as suggested by longlivetheking will be Cinna-floss! And Cinna-Floss's pet will be a Powder Puff!(by the way thank you I couldn't think of one for Carlotta!)Well enough chatter. Here you go!

Little note: When Detergent says "What would Lisa do?", to clarify that up: Lisa is a human character who uses the bathroom and is worshiped by the bathroom objects as God. (Sorry to offend people named Lisa or religious people.) She has no singing parts but she will greatly impact the ending of the Haircomb of the Bathroom! She is named after my best friend who hates this story with a passion.

Mr. Detergent- Oh my God this is really bad!

She disappeared!

I am feeling sad!

("Mystery after gala night!"

It says "Mystery of soprano's flight!")

Why'd she have to run away?

It doesn't smell that bad, she could've stayed!

How will we get our dough?

I can't believe this, it's real low

Without her, it gets quite dull

Without that curvaceous bottle…

(Mystified baffled Surete say

We are mystified they suspect foul play!

Bad news on soprano's scene

First Carlotta, now Christine

Still at least the seats get sold

Gossip's worth its weight in gold)

Shower time has gotten boring

Cinna-floss has left us too

We're bad at this job; we'll be chased by mobs!

Angry Mobs!

We'll get ourselves killed all against our wills

And I don't know what to do!

(What a way to run a business!

Spare me these unending trials!

Half your cast disappears but the crowd still cheers

Opera!

To hell with Gluck and Handel it's a scandal

That'll pack them in the aisles!)

Mr. Laundry- We are doomed!

This'll never sell!

Goodbye bathroom

(Damnable!

Will they all walk out?

This is Damnable!)

Mr. Detergent- Laundry, please don't yell

(Andre please don't shout)

We have to think

What would Lisa do?

Damn it! Think!

(It's publicity!

And the take is vast!

Free publicity!)

Mr. Laundry- She'd probably sue…

(But we have no cast…)

Mr. Detergent- Yep, she'd put us in jail

By the way, did you check your e-mail?

(But Andre have you seen the queue?

Oh, it seems you got one too)

Mr. Laundry- "Yo' laundry what is happenin'?

Listerine has rocked the house!

Cinna floss has gone!

A shame to none!

By the way

Dear Listerine knows

She wants lots of different clothes

And a very low cut blouse!"

(Dear Andre what a charming gala!

Christine enjoyed a great success!

We were hardly bereft when Carlotta left

Otherwise

The chorus was entrancing

But the dancing

Was a lamentable mess!)

Mr. Detergent- "Detergent, you are such a kidder!

Forgetting to pay my bill!

Boy, that' one's good

Funny in the hood

But really now

If I don't get my money

Things around here won't be sunny

If you will…"

(Dear Firmin just a brief reminder

My salary has not been paid

Send in care of the ghost

By return of post

P.T.O.:

No one likes a debtor

So it's better

If my orders are obeyed!)

Both: This mystery dude is evil

I wonder who it is!

(Who would have the gall to send this!

Someone with a puerile brain!)

Mr. Detergent- It's Madame Mirror!

(They are both signed O.G.)

Mr. Laundry- It couldn't be clearer!

(Who the hell is he?)

Both: Nah! No way!

It must be Listerine!

Boy, she's really mean!

Or it could be Towel

Obsessed with shiny things

Like riches and bling bling

Ding! I'm really sick of this!

(Opera Ghost!

It's really not amusing

He's abusing our position

In addition he wants money

What a funny sort of specter

To expect a large retainer

Nothing plainer

He is clearly quite insane!)

Towel: She left me!

(Where is she?)

Detergent and Laundry: Grr…the moron!

(You mean Carlotta?)

Towel: Listerine… boy she must love me!

(No I mean Ms. Daae where is she?)

Detergent and Laundry: Yeah right! That's why she ran!

(Well how should we know?)

Towel: Nah, she's in denial-

That's why she sent me this email

(I want an answer

I take it that you sent me this note)

Detergent and Laundry: It can't be her!

Or can it…

It can't be Towel…

(What's all this nonsense?

Of course not!

Don't look at us!)

Towel: It can't? Are you sure?

(She's not with you then?)

Laundry: Or can it…

(Of course not!)

Detergent: We're not so sure…

(We're in the dark)

Towel: Just read my email!

(Monsieur don't argue)

Isn't this your email?

(Isn't this the letter you wrote?)

Detergent: (looking on laptop screen)

Hold on! You're connection's as slow as a snail!

(And what is it that we're meant to have wrote? Written…)

Laundry: Here we go…

"I stole your hot chick!

She's mine so hands off, dog!

She's staying under the hood y'all."

(Do not fear for Miss Daae

The Angel of Music has her under his wing

Make no attempt to see her again)

Towel: Gasp if Listerine didn't write it, and you didn't write it, and Cinna-floss didn't write it and Leg didn't write it and Madame Mirror didn't write it and and Smelly Bouquet didn't write it, and I didn't write it in my sleep, who did?

(If you didn't write it, who did?)

Cinna-Floss- Oh God!

(Where is he?)

Detergent and Laundry- Oh great, not you too!

(Ah, welcome back!)

Cinna-Floss- My poor powder puff!

(Your precious patron where is he?)

Towel- What happened?

(What is it now?)

Cinna-Floss- Someone shaved a note on her butt!

(I have your letter-a letter I would rather resent)

Detergent and Laundry- Was it you Towel?

(And did you send it?)

Towel- I don't think so…

(Of course not!)

Detergent and Laundry- yeah, too smart

(As if he would!)

Cinna-Floss- For real?

(You didn't send it?)

Towel- I don't think so…

(Of course not!)

Detergent and Laundry- This is confuzzling…

(What's going on…)

Cinna-Floss- They're sick! This really shows a lot!

(You dare to tell me that this is not the letter you sent!)

Towel- And they're probably very hot…

(And what is it that I've meant to have sent?)

All stare at the message on the butt

Towel- "You're no longer the cleanest one in the bathroom

Listerine is a lot more refreshing for the mouth

And she's a much better flavor!"

(Your days at the Opera Populaire are numbered…

Christine Daae will be singing on your behalf tonight

Be prepared for a great misfortune should you attempt to take her place)

Detergent and Laundry- Cinna-Floss is far more tasty!

Listerine is nothing next to you!

She may be nice, but you smell of spice!

(Far too many notes for my taste

And most of them about Christine!

All we've heard since we came is Miss Daae's name!)

Mme Mirror- Listerine has come back to us!

(Miss Daae has returned…)

Detergent - She's been the center of my lust!

(I trust her midnight oil is well and truly burned)

Laundry- Yes, I want to spank her…

(Where precisely is she now?)

Mme Mirror- Monsieur! Please!

(I thought at best she'd go home)

Leg- She's in her sink…

(She needed rest)

Towel- I'm coming Listerine!

(May I see her!)

Mme Mirror- No! You're staying right here!

(No monsieur she will see no one)

Cinna-Floss- Will she clean? Will she clean?

(Will she sing? Will she sing?)

Mme Mirror- Here, I have an email…

(Here I have an email)

All- Move over! I'm reading!

(Let me see it!)

Detergent- Move!

(Please!)

"Dudes and Dudettes, I've now sent you various emails and shaved butt messages…telling you that I'm not happy. And when I'm not happy, accidents happen…I'll give you one last chance…maybe…yes…no…okay yes!"

(Gentleman I have now sent you notes of the most amiable nature…detailing how my theatre is to be run…you have not followed my instructions…I shall give you one last chance!)

Haircomb- Listerine has now come back to you

And I really want her career to grow…

In the new production of "Hygiene's fun!"

Cinna-floss will play some insignificant role,

And Listerine will be the star of the show!

Listerine refreshes your breath with every sip!

Cinna-Floss can't do that

And Listerine has much bigger hips!

(Christine Daae has returned to you!

And I am anxious her career should progress

In the new production of "Il Muto"

You will therefore cast Carlotta as the Page Boy

And put miss Daae in the role of countess

The role that Miss Daae plays calls for charm and appeal

The role of the page boy is silent

Which my casting in a word Ideal!)

I shall watch the cleaning at the top of the shower

If anyone sits there coughcoughTOWELcoughcough

Something not particularly good will happen!

(I shall watch the performance from my normal seat in box five which will be

kept empty for me

Should these demands be ignored

A disaster beyond your imagination will occur…)

Detergent- And just so you know, this is H.C. Peace out!

(I remain gentleman your obedient servant O.G.)

Cinna-Floss- screams so loud that Madame Mirror cracks