We made it out of Pennsylvania and all the way through Ohio without any further incidents.
This was only because we didn't stop for anything except breakfast at McDonald's an hour or so before dawn in the midst of a light flurry.
Cass slumped sullenly in the seat beside me in the cab of the U-Haul, bony knees thrust aggresively out of his torn jeans from where they pushed against the dashboard, hat jammed down over his eyebrows and ears, chin tucked into his coat and scarf despite the heater being on. He'd spent most of breakfast holed up in the men's room, cleaning up the aftermath of our disasterous Pennsylvania pit stop.
I think that the ice pack that I'd bought for him at McDonald's was helping. I don't think the dykes that gave Cass his no doubt well-deserved beating did anything more serious than wound his pride by fattening his lip and bloodying his nose.
God, the man needed a babysitter!
The radio was busy spouting warnings of a large late season snowstorm in between the usual ads for tires, strip joints and fried chicken. We'd had a tussle earlier over which station to play.
Me: NPR for the early morning news
Cass: A big band station that advertised an endless stream of laxitives and denture adhesive sandwiched in between Benny Goodman and Glen Miller. Cass surprised me by knowing all the words before he was overtaken by a professional grade early morning smoker's hack. While he was distracted I switched to Easy Listening.
Cass immedieatly switched the radio over to a 1950's station. Oh God, the "Do-wop" cruelty of it all...
Out of spite, I switched to a rap station out of Indianapolis. Cass paused long enough in his coughing to flip me the bird in the greenish glare of the dashboard and switched over to a country and western station with the hand that wasn't covering his mouth with the icepack.
Country and western was something that we could both agree upon in our mutual loathing. One twang and we simultaneously reached for the dial, nearly knocking ourselves silly in a minor head-on collision, causing the U-Haul to swerve.
In the end, heavy metal won only because neither of us was in the mood to argue any further. At least the repeated assaults of Megadeath and Ozzy, liberally sprinkled with a manic DJ screaming about Kiss reunion tickets drowned out that damned coughing.
Finally the coughing died down and we rode on, each lost in our own thoughts.
Me? The fact that I had originally been scheduled to be married this afternoon was gnawing at me. God only knew what was on Cass's. His head lolled, before bouncing off the window with a heavy "clunk"; the ice pack sliding out of his hand and landing wetly on the floorboard. He began a fruity gurgling gape-mouthed-two-way-in-and-out gasping snore that was audible over even Judas Priest at their loudest. I must have been really tired the other day not to have heard that rafter-rattler. I glanced over at him again. He looked exhausted...and strangely childlike all huddled up in that big black coat.
Five miles further, I yawned, stretching as best I could while still gripping the steering wheel. The falling snow in the truck's headlights was getting heavier.
"Lass, yeh all right to drive?" I jumped and glanced over at Cass, who was groggily rubbing at his head where it had connected with the window. Light sleeper I guess, despite the snore. "Aye?"
"Yes. How's...how's your mouth?" I still found it difficult to take Cass seriously as a person. It was easier to think of him as a self-propelled weed whacker with attitude or an attack dog with Tourette's.
"Aye, I'll get over it, I always does." Cass looked out the window he was leaning against, and then slowly shifted so that his knees weren't on the dash and his feet were now on the floor. "D'ye mind stoppin' now?"
"What, here?" I peered into the side rearview mirror. We had the road almost to ourselves at this early hour.
The horizon was beginning to flush red behind us, despite the falling snow.
"I needs to stretch, is all. Then if yeh don't mind...Jackie...I'm gonna doss down in th' back f' day. I don't feel seh good after me little adventure." His voice sounded slurred, mushy.
"Why can't you just lie down on the seat like I did last night? There's plenty of room."
"No," he stifled a cough, "Believe me, I has me reasons."
"What if we get stopped?"
"Then yeh'll say 'Honest officer, I had no idea he was back there, aye?' I'll back yeh up on it!" Impatience crept into Cass' voice as he turned those opaque lenses my way. He put one large knuckled hand firmly but gently over mine on the wheel. I had horrifying realization that he could yank it out of my hand easily should he choose to do so. "Seh, please..." Now he was wheedling me in that heavy singsong accent of his, "Jackie, if yeh'd only pull over a wee bit. I'll make th' switch an none be the wiser, aye?"
Reluctantly I pulled over on to the shoulder if I-70 and Cass got out. He stood out of the bitter snow bearing wind in the shelter of the U-Haul, semis cannoning past while he nervously smoked the last ciggie of the day with one eye on the eastern horizon.
I unlocked the back, Cass flicked the butt onto the road before climbing in. I couldn't help but notice that he'd packed my mattress on top of my tightly duct taped down boxes of computer gear and clothing in such a way that he could comfortably lie on it. Had he planned this ahead of time?
"Seh, I'll see yeh 'round sundown, aye? Don't worry about owd Cass, he's done this before! Now be a pet an' close the door will yeh Jackie?" Belly down, he slid slowly out of sight headfirst, boots bringing up the rear. "Do be a love and hand Cass up his kit first, will yeh?"
"I don't like any of this!" I called up after Cass as I slid his heavy carry-all up after him.
Cass slithered back into view head first and looked down at me, "Well, yeh could always join me back here. Plenny room f' both've us, be real cozy...yeh know." He was sweating noticably despite the cold of the morning. He grinned down at me almost back to his molars and held out one gloved hand. His teeth glinted red in the dawn.
"Screw you!" I slammed the door shut and locked it. Why is it that some people, the moment you start to maybe like them, have to go and ruin it?
