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amazing redd phoenix : you'll hate me later lol

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But Jean's sleep didn't stay peaceful, ten minutes later, she was beginning to moan and to move, flashes coming back to her mind, flashes of tortures but other ones even more dirty cheap…

……Well, come here you !...We're gonna play together, little slut… Shut up and keep still bitch!...If you bite me again, I break your fingers! ……

Her sleep was becoming more and more agitated, dispersing her sheets. Thanks to their psychic bond, Scott felt it from where he was and began to come up.

……You'll see, you're screaming, but you'll like it …….will you uncrossed your legs bullshit!... …

It was by feeling again this tearing pain, she had endured the first time, that Jean woke up with a howl, panting, sitting on her bed. She was just beginning to sob when Scott came in a little too brutally than he should have, which made her violently startle. But as soon as she had gathered her mind, she held her hands to him, crying. Scott came closer and sat on the bed, she threw herself in his arms.

- "It was a nightmare Jean, just a nightmare" he said softly to her by stroking her hair.

She shook her head, curled up in his neck, crying even more, panting.

- "I know" he breathed by rocking her "It's over know, you won't risk anything anymore here, you're secure ; easy now, breath"

Seeing she was dangerously hyperventilating, he softly took one of her hands and placed it on his chest where she could feel his heartbeat.

- "Breath Jean, try to copy my own one, everything's all right now, settle down sweetie, it's over, everything's ok…"

She began to settle down little by little.

- "Here is, that's good, breathe"

He relaxed his hold slowly, and wiped always her tears with his fingers before asking her:

- "Do you want your medicine?"

She nodded slowly, still under the shock.

The anxiolytics were yet prepared on her bedside. When Scott held her the glass of water she missed to spill it as her hands were shacking ; he put his own on hers for reaffirming her grip, and helped her to swallow her pills before she laid down, crossing her ankles like at her custom, keeping his hand in hers.

- "I'll stay here with you a while, then we'll go down, ok ?" he said softly, by stroking her hair in a peaceful way.

She nodded, still shacking after this nightmare between others ones.


Two weeks later, in this end of afternoon, one and a half week after the new-recruits' arriving, the atmosphere was rather excited and this because of a birthday : as a matter of fact, today Evan was 16 years old and for the occasion his parents and some friends had came from New-York for participating to the festivities.

Ororo had had a long discussion with her sister for explaining to her the reasons of Jean's state:

- "The poor one, I remember the adolescent shinning and full of life she was when she came with you and Scott for talking about Evan…"

- "We all remember that, but it'll only remain a recall. Even if she makes progress a little each week, internally she'll remain traumatised by the whole incident" answered the weather witch, sighing.

Not far away, Storm's brother-in-law was talking with Scott in the presence of Hank:

- "How were you seeing your future before this tragedy?" asked Evan's father.

- "It could seem fanciful seeing our age…" answered Scott "…but we knew that our relationship was serious and would still evolve. I was yet thinking about asking her hand one day or another one and to build a family with her…"

- "It wasn't fanciful for us Scott, it was obvious" answered Hank.

- "Oh, this was a reflection of your maturity" approved the man "And now?"

- "I still love her more than anything else in the world and, even if it'll take really a longer time than foreseen, even if I can only have her presence, my words will stay the same, it's with her that I want to live" he answered.

Jean, on her side, tired by the pills she had taken for soothing a strong crisis of pains, had leaned herself on one of the sofas of the big-room where had been organized the party, the most isolated one. But despite that she couldn't close her eyes, to lower her watchfulness the least laugh slightly harsh, bang of a door, step or voice coming too much closer was making her start. Having noticed it, Scott left the conversation he was having with Evan's father and Hank and went to join her.

- "Jean ?" he said for announcing himself.

She looked up at him.

- "Well, make me some space" he told her gently.

She moved herself a little and he settled on the sofa, half-sat thanks to the cushions, before taking her in his arms, softly, for not hurting her yet sensible body:

- "You won't achieve to fall asleep as far as long as you don't feel secure"

But you…the party…? she sent to him through their bond.

- "Don't worry about that, my legs were beginning to ache me" he smiled "And I don't like to see you ill at ease, so I prefer taking care of you"

Thank

- "Anytime sweetie"

He kissed her on the forehead as she had already closed her eyes. The next shout of the students made her curl up a little closer against him, but then she didn't react to them anymore, she knew he would protect her and this feeling of security helped her to quickly fall asleep even if this slumber would be for a short time.

Some twenty minutes later, the Professor Xavier was coming near them:

- "You are all right Scott?"

- "Uh huh" he answered.

- "She was nervous"

- "Yes, she still can't achieve to relax herself when there are people around her and overall hen some of them are more or less strangers for her"

- "And overall if you are not near her" added Charles.

- "Yes"

- "Since the beginning we know that she will need a lot of time" resumed the powerful telepath, stopping himself from taking advantage of Jean'sleep for putting his and on hers, he knew she would immediately feel it "I know she is having violent nightmares in this time…"

- "If only it was only nightmares…most of them are recalls, since her return" replied Scott "Despite Doctor Mc Coy' sleeping-pills and anxiolytics, there isn't a night I don't have to go to wake her up; They're haunting her"

- "Yes, I think as much; unfortunately we can't erase what has happened…Even if I wanted to, I couldn't modify her memory, she is a telepath… and we have the gift, or here, the curse to never forget anything, everything is engraved into our spirits" made notice the Professor by leaning a compassionating glance on Jean; yes, even if he could, it wouldn't really help her, at least not in a long-range. "This week, I was thinking to start her on a sort of therapy, in your presence of course, given that she won't do it if she finds herself alone with me for the moment"

Scott approved this idea, letting Jean carrying alone the events of her six weeks calvary wasn't possible, she had to speak about that, or at least to be helped to face this interior-suffering.

- "Yes, that's a good idea, even if it won't be easy, we must not await her to communicate"

The Professor nodded, he was well conscious of that, but he wanted to do something for Jean.

- "I know" he was contented to say, putting his glance on the sleeping face of the young mutant ; even her sleep didn't seem to be peaceful, she wasn't wearing anymore the innocence look she used to before. Before, he couldn't even put a name on what she had endured. Everything had changed now, there was the Jean of before the kidnapping, and the one of after, the one of today, the one who had to live with this traumatism.


(One week had melt away since Evan's birthday)

She was again in this cell, the door had just been opened and two the guards came toward her, passing their tongues on their teeth then on their lips, before beginning to untie their belts. Jean felt her body tensing up, she wanted to move back the most possible, but she was feeling so much pain everywhere that it was as if she was in slow motion; and the men, the men were laughing, there were laughing because of the terror in her eyes…the first one went to lie on her, and the second one……she was feeling pain, she wanted to howl, but no one sound was coming out…

Jean woke up with a start; she was in her bedroom, it was only a nightmare, even inspired by her recalls, it was still only a nightmare. Quivering, tears in her eyes, Jean got up and went to pass some water on her face and her arms for chasing away the sweat which had made its appearance. Still shaken, she returned in her bed, huddling herself against the wall, curled on herself. Usually, when she woke up because of a nightmare, Scott was here and stayed near her until she fell back into sleep, his presence, his scent, his contact reassured her; here, nothing to do, she wasn't managing to quieten herself down and again less to re-fall asleep.

She stood up again, slipped on her slippers and got out of her bedroom. Silently, she went in the corridor and opened as much discretely a door; but it was without counting on Scott's hearing which had over-developed itself when he had had to stay without the sight some years ago:

- "Jean ?" he said by seeing the young mutant slightly quivering shape's, wearing a pyjama covering herself at the maximum as it was the case since her return.

Closing the door by telekinesis, the adolescent came to the bed and got under the blankets before curling in Scott's arms.

- "You've made another nightmare?" he asked by running his fingers through her hair.

Jean nodded with a move of her head.

- "And you didn't manage to fall back asleep"

She nodded again.

- "You can stay here if you want"

- "…Th…Than…ks…" she articulated with difficulty.

After an instant of surprise, Scott' smile shinned in the darkness lightened by the moon; Jean had just spoken, he couldn't believe it (Of course he had heard her voice when she was panicked, but here it was different), she had just pronounced her first word in normal circumstances since her disappearance.

- "Anytime Jean, I'd do anything for you" he said softly to her " And if I could return in the past I'd do it, whatever is the price to pay"

He leaned a kiss on her forehead.

- "I love you Jean, I don't think that I'll never tell it to you enough"

What did the adolescent did next, she did it without thinking, only following her heart. She slightly drew herself up and kissed Scott on the cheek, at the edge of his lips like if she had deviated at the last minute; a simple little 'peck' like could say some ones, but it was Jean's first manifestation of affection since her kidnapping. She was surprised not to feel uncomfortable after that, no, Scott was far to be like the others men, those who…those who had hurt her; no, she trusted him and she wanted to prove to him that she was still loving him even if she wasn't showing it anymore.

- "I know it Jean, I feel it through our bond" he said before adding for not under-estimating her motion "But I admit that I was missing the contact of your lips"

Scott, I… began Jean through their bond, a real kiss was beyond her capacities and this even though all of them were far away from kissing her –and overall not with the softness and the tenderness of Scott's kisses as she remember them.

- "I know" he said again, he knew her so much, "I'll wait for the time needed and if this would never happen, it doesn't matter, as long as I can keep you near me"

If she had been still able of it, Jean felt that she could have smiled, but she didn't know how to do it anymore and she'd need time to learn this simple motion again.

Thanks, thanks for being here… she said as two tears were running on her cheeks.

- "You don't speak anymore?" asked Scott by raising his eyebrows, passing his hand on her face for wiping away the tears.

It's hard

- "I don't doubt it Jean, you know that when we met I was rather dumb, I was almost never opening my mouth, but you pulled me out of my silence and I've learned one thing: that the more difficult was to pronounce the first word, for the others it was easier overall if it's not too long after the first one." He said softly to her before closing the conversation "Well, we should sleep now, it's past 3 a.m."

Jean didn't oppose to it, she had yet shut her eyes, all her fears she had felt alone had almost all vanished.

- "Good night sweetie"

- "…Ni…gth…"

He smiled again and kissed her in the hair, slightly inhaling her scent.


The following day, having class, Scott had reluctantly to envisage to free himself of Jean's embrace. He didn't achieve to do it without waking her, she was far too much vigilante at the contacts for that and startled violent like usually.

- "Hey, it's okay Jean, it's only me, do you remember? you came to join me here last night" he said softly to her.

She nodded and relaxed herself.

- "Sleep well?" he asked to her.

Same answer.

- "I can't stay, I have class today, you know?" he told her "I've to go to prepare myself, try to fall asleep again, ok?"

After having assured himself that Jean was alright, he got up and went to the bathroom, his bedroom, Jean's, and the professors'ones having a private one. When he went out some ten minutes later, he saw that Jean had gotten up, this didn't surprise him and he didn't do any allusion to that.

- "I'll go to have a breakfast, do you come with me ?"

She shook her head, she had to take a shower, she couldn't do without it, and it wouldn't be the only one of the day. Scott knew it and immediately understood that she was following him out of his bedroom only to rejoin her own.

- "I'll come to see you before leaving ok ?" he told her as they were in front of her door.

He kissed her on the forehead and moved away toward the kitchen.

Jean entered in her room and went to her bathroom. Usually, when she was taking a shower since her kidnapping, she did it by avoiding looking at her body, even if she had to close her eyes for it, but this time, she couldn't help it. To see all these marks and cicatrices covering her skin, each one having its story, each one coming with a recall, put a lump in her throat. (By the cigarettes burn she could almost count the number of time she had been raped. Almost? yes, they hadn't all marked her physically like that…).However hard she rubbed it, it didn't go away and never will. The slashes all over her body, the burns…only the branding had disappeared…she remembered the horrible pain and the smell of rotten flesh…

Jean ended her shower with the feeling to be still as much dirty than before; in any case, even if she was able to turn herself like a flannel for cleaning herself by the interior, she would keep this sensation. She slipped on her panties and then in a bath robe which she tied around her waist and, whereas until now she had achieved to avoid crossing her reflection in a mirror, she found herself confronted to it. Who was this pale adolescent with rings under her eyes and an empty gaze who was looking back at her? She didn't bear the image it was sending back to her, this associated to the cicatrices covering her body was too much for her, she felt the tears coming to her eyes and the sobs coming. She started to hyper-ventilate, then to shack and, without even knowing what she was doing, she broke the mirror, freeing symbolically her ill-being; a wave of telekinesis sank the walls, shattered the partition of glass used as a shower curtain and threw on the pit all the objects being in the room, while she collapsed on the ground by bursting into tears.

Scott was going through the corridor toward the bedrooms, when he felt a bruque surge of ill-being coming from his bond with Jean before sensing a shake and hearing the sound of broken-glass. Without waiting, he ran to her door and knocked but, obtaining no answer and his hearing discerning the sound of weeps, he entered in the room −which door was disembowelled− and hastened in the bathroom where he found his girlfriend, curled up in a corner, shaken by sobs and nervous starts.

- "Jean…" he said by coming closer to her, walking by the same occasion on the bits of glass and tiling which broke a little more under his soles of shoes.

The room was half destroyed, it was almost like the day of her power surge, although the ceiling and the walls were still standing. The adolescent was such in tears that she hadn't even heard him enter. Not wanting to risk a defence-reaction from her implying again her telekinesis, he called her again:

- "Jean…"

This time she seemed to have heard him but didn't stop crying. He kneeled at her sides and took her in his arms, she tightened the embrace, sobbing, shedding all the tears of her body. Scott knew that this had to happen, it was necessary she hadn't yet really cracked up, the only tears she had shed had all been provoked by fear and nightmares, here it was different.

- "Cry Jean, you need it…" he murmured to her by rocking her. "Things will turn up all right one day, I'll always stay at your sides"

Logan, having like the students felt the shock, made his appearance at which was remaining of the bathroom entry, but Scott made him implicitly understand that they had to stay alone and Wolverine complied; he knew that he couldn't do anything, even if seeing his little Jeannie like it was breaking his heart.

At the bedroom entrance, some young mutants were justly waiting for him to go out for learning more about the situation:

- "So ? What's up?" asked Amara.

- "Jean's in tears, Scott's with her" answered Logan in a grumbling voice.

- "And the shake, what was it?" demanded Jubilee.

- "She might've lost control of her power for some seconds, the bathroom has suffered from it"

- "Oh…" said Kurt by seeing were he was driving at.

- "Well, don't stay here ya'll be late for school" ended Logan by egging them to disperse.

He cast a last glance behind him and went away at his turn.

Inside, as Jean' cries weren't weakening, images appeared in Scott's mind, not whole scenes, but rather numerous sequences and sensations unconsciously sent through their bond at such a rhythm that he only could decrypt a part, but it was enough explicit. In front of such atrocities and suffering, even him couldn't restrain his tears and held Jean a little stronger against him, whose one was still trembling and had almost difficulties to breath so much her sobs were closer.


When after half an hour, exhausted, the adolescent began to calm down, Scott made her stand up and carried her out of the bathroom in order she not got hurt by walking bare-foot on the glass. He leaned her on her bed, quickly sounded her fists which had only some superficial cuts, and sat near her.

Don't…Lea…ve…me… she begged him.

- "I stay with you, don't worry" he answered to her.

He leaned against the wall, his legs on the mattress, recovering how he could from what he had just seen; Jean had kept her hand in his and was beginning to fall asleep, curled-up on herself, her face against his skin.

Some twenty minutes later, he was pulled out of his thoughts by the Professor Xavier's voice:

- "It must have been hard from what I see"

Scott slightly startled; Jean didn't moved she had fallen asleep.

- "Professor? I didn't hear you come in"


To be continued

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