Cass

First thing I remembers when I wakes up were Jackie lookin' down at me with her fingers feelin me throat f' pulse and sayin' "Oh my God, I've killed him!"

Th' secon' thing I recalls is her screamin' an' fallin' over backwards when I looks up, grabs her hand, an' sez, "No yehs didn't!"

I were layin' on me back in th' snow, heart stopped, between th' highways. More snow were comin' down all thicklike. "Cass," I says to mesel', "Yehs out in broad daylight, yeh'll burn clean up to ashes an' then where will yeh be? Get under cover before it's too late, yeh silly shite!"

But nary an itch, neh tingle, neh smoke! Then me 'eart starts beatin' regular again, always a relief. Irregular heartbeats makes Cass feel dizzy; real distractin' that is.

The storm covered up th' sun enough seh that Cass's safe - which reminds me, some days, rainy days, I can walk out in day like respectable folk an' see sights long as th' storm holds out. Just itches like hell, is all!

Jackie is sittin' on her fanny in th' snow - she fell back when I springs me wee surprise on her. I lets go a' her hand an' says, "Seh wha' happen'?" I tries not t' laugh, though th' whole thing's bloody hysterical when yeh's looks at it.

Her mouth works a bit an then she sighs, "I hit a patch of black ice and rolled the truck. Oh God, can things go any more wrong?"

'Believes me, lass, yes.' I thinks, but I didn't say it f' fear a makin' things worse. Seh I says as I sits up, "Does yeh smell smoke?"

'Round 'bout then truck 'splodes, whoomp!

Me bird stands up and starts runnin' to truck, "Shit! Shit! Shit! Me and my big mouth! Why did I have to say that? We haven't even been in Indiana five minutes and this happens! I hate everything!"

So I stands up to stop 'er from doin' somethin' stupid , which hurts like 'ell, I dislocated me shoulder when accident threw me out a back a' truck. But me Jackie were smarter 'n that: instead she just stops after a few feet and starts jumpin up a' down a' screamin' obscenities I didn't think she knew on account a' her bein' seh posh.

Seh I sits arse down in 't snow, workin' me shoulder back in't socket watchin' 'er - what a sight, better than pro wrestlin' on t.v. on a cold night!

It were good thing that fucker Paolo were already dead, - th' disasters she called down on 'is ead would'a made Job look like a lucky man!

Maybe I did the stupid bollicks a favor by killin' him?

Eventually me bird calms down and is crouched down on to side a' highway, arms 'round 'er knees watchin' truck burn. I finds me kit in the snow an' shoulders it before I takes 'er arm an' pulls her t' her feet, "C'mon lass, yeh'll freeze out here. Let's go find a motel."

Yeh see, even wi' snow, I could smell a town ahead. Me? I didn't fancy spendin' th' day out in open - th' storm might end and th' sky clear up, then where I wou' be? Out in open w' sun fryin' me arse, neh thanks!

Seh, even though to snow were fallin' fast an' thick I starts followin' wha' I can see a' th' highway, Jackie beside me. I tries to put arm' round her shoulder an' she shrugs me off. Be that way, see what I care!

"It were just t'ings yeh lost back there lass, just t'ings". I ventures after th' first mile while I lights up a fag. I'm feelin' a wee bit pissed off meself. Me face's goin' numb an the lighter keeps goin' out in the stiff breeze comin' down on us. "Yeh lucky yeh weren't killed when the truck rolled."

"Go to Hell!" she snarls, "I know how bad things are without your help."

We passes a billboard advertisin' some shite resort in Florida f' owd folks,

"I know. I'm should be grateful to be alive and all that crap, right?" She grumbles under 'er breath so she thinks I can't hear 'er as she slips her hand into me pocket next t' mine. "At least I was wearing my seat belt when we flipped over, and he wasn't killed so I don't have to be responsible for paying for this idiot's funeral!"

This were too much! Owd Cass blew off all her other mumbles, like th' one about him stinkin' up her flat t' other day, but this? This? "Thank yeh seh bloody fuckin' much f' yeh fuckin' concern but I'll take care a' me own buryin'!" I snarls at her. I start walkin' faster and tosses her hand out, leavin' her standin' on side a' road. I mean, even Cass can only take seh much before he's had enough, aye?

Owd Cass' been buried at least once r' twice in a borrowed suit what didn't fit right. It weren't fun, didn't like it one bit no-bloody-fuckin' way, crawlin' out from six feet under w' me eyes an' gob sewn shut w' a belly full a' embalmin' fluid. Th' only satisfaction were when Cass showed up at 'is mate's an' saw 'em piss themselves in fright. At least they were glad t' see their owd mate once they got off t' floor, but Jackie? Jackie?

Silly coo! I don't need this shite!

Soon I hear her trottin' t' catch up wi' me. I slows down a wee bit, but not much. She sticks her hand back in me coat pocket and I lets it stay.

"It doesn't mean anything," she says. "I lost my gloves in the wreck, so don't get any ideas!"

"Believe me, I weren't!" I snarls.

Seh, we keeps walkin'. Then Jackie says, "Cass, can we stop for a minute? I can't feel my feet any more."

Awwww, shite, not that! I turn 'round an' she's sittin' in th' snow an' bitin' her lip like she's tryin' not t' cry, holdin' her feet in them wee shoes she be always wearin'. Cass is wearin' stout boots as always an' didn't think about such things. "Eh c'mon lass, it not be that far. Tell yeh what...I'll carry yeh 'til we get t' town ahead."

Seh, even though I'm right pissed wi' her, I carries Jackie piggyback an' makes better time f' it - Cass's stronger than 'e looks. An' it weren't seh bad havin' a wee lass no bigger than Cass on me back holdin' on to me shoulders. Cass's had far worse things a'ridin' on 'is back in to past - Jackie were a relative pleasure.