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Charles had noticed the still recent stains of tears which had escaped from the cover of Cyclops' shades

- "She has projected so much terrible images through our bond" said Scott in a marked voice "She has all this inside of herself, whereas I couldn't bear the half of it…"

- "And however, this is what you do Scott" made notice the Professor Xavier in a calmed voice.

- "I know…But that's because I'd do anything for her, I'd give my life for her"

The Professor slightly smiled in front of the maturity of his first student.

- "But she would not let you do it, she needs you" he said before going on with seriousness, "I know it's terrible. When I had to read her thoughts at her arrival, It took days to recover from it; I had only got a general view of her mind for only see the faces of her torturers but some images had appeared to me, and contrary at you I wasn't feeling her emotions, that is a own propriety belonging to this so special bond which you two share"

Scott nodded and stayed silent some instants before saying:

- "I want to stay with her today"

- "I know it Scott, I have already announced your absence to the high-school, for today and also for tomorrow, it is the end of the school year by the way" answered Charles.

- "Thank you"

- "You don't have to thank me Scott, you show an unlimited devotion for Jean when she needs it the most, I'm proud of you"

- "I do it because I love her" he answered without any hesitation.


The two months followed were extremely hard. The fright than the other were provoking on Jean had increased tenfold, overall toward the men; each word was liable of making her literally burst in tears, shaken by waves of horrible recalls, her compulsive washing had also increased. She was weakest than ever and Scott didn't leave her anymore more than two minutes by fright that she might attempt on her days.

Cyclops's bedroom was fitted up because, since Jean had passed the night with him, she didn't sleep in her own anymore, preferring his reassuring presence which was allowing to make little by little rare her nightmares, which ones had become more violent too. Scott wasn't complaining about this new custom, he liked to feel her against him, to know her in security, to be sure that no one would be able to snatch her from him.

In September, he had to return at School; Jean had had troubles to accustom herself to his absences again. When Scott was in class, the professors were keeping an eye on her even if they couldn't approach her, when she was going in her room or somewhere else, despite his principles, Charles was watching for her by telepathy. And this day he congratulated himself on it…

Everybody to the infirmary! Jean is attempting to kill herself, hurry! sent the powerful mutant by telepathy in an anguished voice at the professors.

Jean, was swallowing whole handfuls of pills, her back turned on the door, when the others arrived, out of breath.

- "Jean! no stop!"

She startled violently by turning herself, realising the box of pills she was holding in her hands, which one went to join the two others ones on the ground. Logan, Hank and Ororo were in the room and were trying to approach her slowly, but she, she was going back, quivering.

- "Jean, I have to take care of you it's not too late, let me take care of you" said Hank in a voice which wanted to be calm.

But the young mutant wasn't stopping to go back; arrived against the wall and couldn't go back anymore, she felt like in a trap and kept them from advancing with her telekinesis.

- "Jean, I beg you" said Storm and Wolverine in a same voice.

The telepath's eyes were expressing terror and sadness. Suddenly, her nerves too much distressed, she collapsed on the ground. The three X-Men ran to her, Hank took her pulse before carrying her to the examination table.

- "Will she…" couldn't even end Storm.

- "No, she has just taken them, and I know what she has taken, I'll take care of her" answered Hank.

When Scott came back from the high school, some twenty minutes later, the Professor, Hank and Logan were waiting for him with a serious look.

- "Where is Jean?" was Cyclops' first question.

- "At the med-bay" answered Charles before telling him without convolutions "She tried to kill herself by taking pills, but we have intervened in time"

Scott ran to the infirmary. Ororo was here, in the background, just watching for Jean not try anything anymore now that she had regained consciousness.

- "Jean…"

it's too hard, I can't live with that… she told him through their bond in a broken voice as he arrived near her and was taking her hand by kissing her on the forehead.

Tears were running through his cheeks, she was also silently crying.

- "I'm here Jean, I'll help you" he told her "But don't leave me, I beg you Jean. If they had told me you were dead, I wouldn't have survived to that; Jean, I need you" he carried on, deeply shaken.

He took her hand to his mouth and kissed it during a long time, his tears joining the young mutant' skin.

- "Don't do it again, I beg you" he said "I'll stay with you, I won't let you alone anymore, but I beg you, don't leave me"

Hank entered in the room by taking care to be noticed by Jean for not surprising her.

- "You have to let her rest now, Scott"

don't leave, stay with me… sent the young mutant at Cyclops

- "She wants me to stay" he transmitted at Beast.

Mc Coy cast a glance to the drip to which one Jean was linked and answered:

- "Ok, but let her sleep, she has to recover"

Scott nodded as Hank was leaving, he would wait for speaking more with Jean.


During the following month, and despite the constant vigilance of the others and Scott's more than strengthened support, Jean made unfortunately other attempts of suicide. Then, in November she seemed to settle down, but it was only an appearance….

At the middle of the month Scott had just come back from school and, as usually, he went to his room where he was sure to find Jean, but she wasn't there and their bond was blocked. Worried, he searched for the first person he would see and it was Ororo:

- "Where's Jean?"

- "In you bedroom, I've checked less than 10 minutes ago" she answered.

- "She's not there and she has blocked our bond" said Scott in an anxious voice.

- "Maybe she only wants to be alone, that's all. We'll find her"

Both of them searched through the Institute with Hank and Logan who they had met on the way. The Professor being absent for the week-end, students joined them. Jean hadn't tried anything since 2 weeks, but what Hank found scared them:

- "She came to the infirmary"

- "You had put the drugs under lock and key?" asked Ororo.

- "Yes of course, but that hasn't stopped her, she had demolished the padlock with her telekinesis"

- "What has she taken?" asked Logan.

- "Whatever!" said Scott "What we know is that she has taken drugs and that she's somewhere in danger!"

Kitty, Rogue and Bobby arrived:

- "She's nowhere inside"

- "So we have to search outside and to part for covering the more ground we can" said Scott.


It was really cold, but there wasn't snow covering the ground which could have helped them to find her by following the traces…well if she hadn't levitated herself. Mutants' calls were resonating in the park, but as Jean wasn't speaking they hadn't a lot of chances to get an answer.

Scott had gone toward the lake when he found an empty box of barbiturates.

- "Jean!" he called by looking around him, extremely worried.

No answer. He caught a glance of another box some twenty meters away, at 30 meters from the dock, and that's then he saw her: Her body was floating at the surface, on her abdomen, at some ten meters from the edge, her red-hair surrounding her.

- "NO!" screamed Scott by running toward the water.

The adrenaline helping, he didn't feel the iced water stabbing him like thousand needles, almost preventing him to breathe, and swam toward Jean as fast as he could.

- "JEAN!" he screamed in horror as he reached out for her.

He held her in his arms and it didn't take long for him to realise she wasn't breathing. There was a dreadful feeling inside of him as he brought her back toward the bank and laid her limp body on the ground. Mouth to mouth resuscitation failed to revive her.

- "Help!" he howled by sending an optic blast above him for being localized easily.

For the time, he was alone. He took Jean's pulse and realised she hadn't had one anymore, she was hard, cold and without life.

- "No! Jean, I beg you!"

He started the artificial breathing and cardiac massages again. The adolescent's skin had taken a bluish shade such the water was iced, but Scott, himself soaked, wasn't noticing the cold and was untiringly keeping his efforts to revive her

Some minutes later, Hank and Logan arrived, followed by Ororo and the students.

- "Oh God!"

- "Barbiturates…drowning…she doesn't breathe anymore…has no pulse…" said Scott between two cardiac massages and ventilations.

- "We have to bring her to the infirmary urgently!"

It was Scott who took her in his arms and everyone rushed inside. The students were asked to stay out of the med-bay, only Scott was present. Hank checked Jean's temperature:

- "82.4°f, that's the limit for the electroshocks but we have no choice. Ororo you undress her, Logan you ventilate her, I'll suck out the water she has swallowed and prepare the pallets, Scott you go change yourself you're completely frozen" said Hank by ending to place her under monitoring and electroencephalogram, the flat-line sound made itself heard.

- "I'll stay" he answered.

- "Scott"

- "It's not debatable!"

He had taken one of Jean's hand, trying to warm it between his own, talking to her for encouraging her.

Quickly, Storm had removed Jean's soaked clothes, letting on her only her underwear Despite the colour of her skin, the numerous scars appeared clearly for the first time at Logan and Scott's eyes, marks witnessing the cruelty she had endured. She was livid, rigid …as dead. Hank inserted a probe for emptying her lungs of the most water possible in order that Wolverine could ventilate her more efficiently and for pushing away the infectious risk.

- "Storm, go warm up at 98.6°f several normal saline solution" he asked as she immediately went to take care of it.

Then he placed two protection patches on Jean's skin in a same move before charging the pallets and asking them to back up.

- "Only 50 joules?" asked Logan.

- "She's soaked, the water has decreased her resistance to electricity, I can only increase progressively; moreover, warming her brutally would be extremely dangerous" explained Hank quickly.

Jean's body lifted itself slightly under the shock, but the line only marked itself before becoming flat again.

- "Jean, I beg you, don't leave me" pleaded Scott.

- "We start again, move back!" warned Hank before making another electroshock.

This hadn't had more effect than the previous one. Beast strived to wait more than the normal interval between each electroshock, as he would have done with a cardiac massage in such situation.

- "Charged, beware!"

Nothing.

- "Charged, beware!"

But still nothing and the time was running out. Five minutes, then ten, twenty and…

- "What are you doing?" asked Scott seeing that Beast was putting back the pallets at their place, the dejected look, and that Logan was about to cover up Jean's face with the blanket, tears running down his cheeks.

- "I'm sorry Scott, it's making 30 minutes…"

- "Carry on!"

- "It's over Scott, she's dead, it'd be useless" articulated Logan "She's dead…"


To be continued

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