Remus surveyed the dozens of boxes stacked all around him and suppressed a groan. He was dead tired, having worked the late shift the night before at his second job. He sat heavily on one of the large cardboard boxes and allowed himself to indulge in his favorite past time, daydreaming of Hermione.
He closed his eyes and summoned her and just like that, there she was, first her eyes, then her hair and finally her smile. He wished he could reach out and trace her lips with his fingertip, or better yet with his own mouth.
"Lupin!" called a sharp voice. "I'm not paying you to sit on your ass. Get those boxes of canned vegetables to aisle ten."
Remus immediately jumped up. "Yes, Mr. Snyder," he said quickly. He lifted the heavy box with considerably more ease than he had been able to two weeks ago. It was surprising how quickly your muscles responded when it was demanded of them, of course they punished him at night, but he'd known pain far worse than strained muscle ache.
Remus carried the box to aisle ten where he proceeded to unload three dozen cans of mixed peas and carrots onto the shelf. "Morning, Remus," called an irritatingly cheerful voice.
"Morning Timmons," replied Remus, without pausing from his work.
"Whoa, you look like shit. Don't tell me you pulled another late night shift at that store over on Beecham Road.
"Guilty," said Remus, stifling a yawn.
"Why are you killing yourself, man?" asked the boy Remus had called Timmons. His full given name was Todd Timmons, but he hated his first name and everyone just called him by his surname.
"I already told you," said Remus. "I need the money. You could help me out here," Remus pointed out.
"Nah, I don't start for another ten minutes. I got here early to ask you a favor."
Remus looked at him warily. A favor for Timmons usually consisted of taking over a shift for him.
"I've got this really hot date Saturday, but I'm supposed to be here three to ten. Can you cover?"
"Sorry, Timmons," said Remus. "But if I don't arrange for some time to sleep soon, I'm going to collapse."
"But I checked the schedule. You have Sunday and Monday off. You can sleep then," argued Timmons.
It was true, he did have Sunday and Monday off, but he also had an appointment with the full moon and he had planned on surprising Hermione Saturday. By then, it would be almost three weeks since they had seen each other. "I wish I could help you," said Remus.
"Oh, come on," Timmons begged. "I'll owe you big. Besides you said yourself, you could use the money. If you work Saturday it will mean overtime."
Remus paused. He had him there. The whole point of taking these crappy muggles stock boy jobs had been to earn money fast. He had tried, but no one in the wizarding world would give him a job and he hadn't wanted to ask his father for help. His pride wouldn't allow it. So he did the only thing he could. He left everything he knew and loved and went to work as a muggle.
Some days the only thing keeping him going was knowing what he was going to do with all the money he earned. Everything he was doing, he did with one single person in mind, Hermione and their future together. It had become very obvious to him that he needed Hermione. He needed her more than he'd ever needed any other person in his life.
He had accepted very early in his life that no woman would ever want him because of his abnormality. He had been fine with that, especially after meeting James, Sirius, and Peter at Hogwarts.
Remus had grown up surrounded with love. His parents adored him and showered him with affection, probably a bit too much, but he knew they were trying to compensate for the lack of love he'd feel from others. Then when he went to Hogwarts he was mildly surprised to find that he could have friendship too. And though they never said these things to each other, he loved them and knew they loved him back, but still he didn't believe he deserved any other kind of love.
He had watched during his school years as James bungled things with Lily, all the while knowing that eventually James would get the girl. He had seen Sirius be the object of affection for more girls than he could count and he was fine with that too. He had even believed, that Peter would eventually stop being so shy and find someone to settle down with.
And even as he knew all these things, Remus also knew that he would never be the type of man a girl fell in love with, not once they knew the truth. Until that day Hermione Granger had entered his life.
He had dreamed about her the first night they met. In his dream she had hovered over him and placed her hand on his cheek and even in his sleep he knew his heart was in trouble. It had been so easy to like her and even easier to love her and still he held back. But when he realized that she knew what he was and still wanted to be his friend, something had changed inside and scared him out of his mind.
Then many weeks later, she let him take her on a broom and then she let him kiss her. It had been the single most important moment of his life. It had allowed him to dream of a future he didn't know was possible.
"So what do you say?" repeated Timmons. "Saturday?"
Remus sighed. "Yeah sure, but you owe me."
"Thanks man," said Timmons excitedly, hurrying off down the aisle. "I owe you big."
Remus had emptied the box in front of him. He broke it down and tucked it under his arm, heading to the back to get another box.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Hermione sat under their tree staring into the lake, contemplating whose tree it really belonged to. She once would have said it belonged to Harry, Ron, and herself, but a few months ago she began to feel that the tree belonged more to Remus and herself.
She and Remus had shared so many wonderful memories under this tree, so many kisses and long talks. She wondered now if they'd ever sit here together again.
She had never been as embarrassed as she had been tonight. She had to find out about his deceit from his mother and in front of his two best friends. He had made her look like a fool and Hermione hated looking like a fool.
She couldn't for the life of her understand why he had lied. She had no explanation. 'Maybe,' she thought. 'He's punishing me. After all I left without even bothering to tell him.' Even as she thought it, she didn't believe it was true. This was Remus, he wasn't vindictive. He wouldn't do this just to spite her. He loved her. But even that thought now had had a question mark attached to it.
She didn't know how long she sat under the tree, but it was long enough for the sun to set and the stars to start to pop into view. She loved Hogwarts at night. It was so peaceful and beautiful. It had taken her breath away that first boat ride over and had continued to do so every night after that. She loved the stars. They were the only constant thing in her life. In 1998 or 1978 the stars were the same.
As she sat watching the stars, her eye caught another object in the sky, the moon, nearly full. She had made sure Remus left with enough Wolfsbane potion to get through the month, but she knew he would need more for the next month and she had it waiting. She had thought she'd be able to give it to him in person, but that seemed unlikely.
She picked herself up and headed for the castle. She kept the extra vials of Wolfsbane in her office. Dumbledore had been kind enough to let her use Hogwarts facilities without question and she had stockpiled enough Wolfsbane potion for months. She would send Remus a few more vials just in case and while she was at it, she would send him a note.
Hermione sat at her desk contemplating what she would write. She thought about confronting him outright, but it wasn't really something she knew how to put on paper. Instead, she decided to give him one last chance to be honest with her.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Remus collapsed on the worn couch in the middle of his tiny room. He looked around in disgust. The room was dark and ugly and when he first moved in, smelled like someone or something had crawled into one of its four corners and died. He was one of many single men renting rooms in this poor excuse for a boarding house.
He was living as modestly as possible, wanting to be able to tuck as much money away as he could. He could do it too, especially when the prize would be being with Hermione for the rest of his life. He tried to make himself comfortable on the lumpy couch and would have been asleep in seconds had it not been for the owl.
He got up quickly and untied the package from the owl's leg. With a small hoot, the owl flew back through the open window. Remus tore open the package to discover several vials of potion and a note. He set the potion aside carefully and opened the letter. His heart soared with joy when he realized who it was from.
Dear Remus,
I hope all is going well with your new job. I've enclosed a few extra vials of Wolfsbane potion in case you run out. I know you've been exceptionally busy at work, but I miss you, so I've decided since you won't come to me, I'll come to you. I'll arrive Saturday, so we can spent some time together before the full moon on Sunday.
Love Hermione
Remus sighed heavily. He hated lying to her, but it had to be done. He never wanted her to know that he couldn't find a job in their world. He wanted to prove to both of them that he would be able to support her. Now he had to lie again and it had to be a good one to prevent her from going to his house. He had hoped that she might not question him about not asking her to come because of his mother.
He read the letter again. It sounded oddly formal. In fact it didn't sound anything like his Hermione. He reread one sentence, so I've decided since you won't come to me, I'll come to you. It was the word won't that caught his attention. Surely she didn't think he was staying away deliberately.
Something in him told him that something was wrong. He knew he had stayed away too long, with too little explanation. He looked at the clock on the far wall. It was nearly midnight and he was sure the Potter's would be asleep, but he knew he had to see her. He just knew that if he didn't see her tonight all his plans were going to fall apart.
Remus got up and dressed as quickly as possible. He was going to see Hermione and no matter how nervous he was feeling, nothing could make him really upset knowing that.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Hermione stayed at Hogwarts for a few hours after she had sent the letter and package to Remus. Since she didn't know where he was, she had no idea when he would get her note.
As peaceful as Hogwarts was, she didn't want to spend any more time there. It was too quiet and it left her too alone with her thoughts. She left the castle and strolled to Hogsmeade. It was nearly midnight, but she felt safe in this familiar place. She didn't want to go back to the Potter's. What she really wanted was to be able to go someplace that she called home.
She didn't have a home to go to. She had friends and she had work, but she didn't have that safety net that was home. She doubted that even if she found a place of her own it would be home. It would just be the place where she lived. Home was wherever the people you loved were. Ultimately that was why Remus's lies had been so devastating. She had actually begun to hope that she might be able to make a home with him. All she felt now was stupid and silly.
Even though she didn't want to go to the Potter's, she still was dead tired and desperate for sleep. She supposed she could have stayed at Hogwarts, but she didn't want to be alone either. There was only one place she could go and she hoped he wouldn't be too put out when she arrived.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Remus stood outside of Godric's Hollow, feeling his heart pounding in anticipation. It was late and he felt terrible for being there so late, but it was necessary so he knocked.
The door flew open almost immediately, as if someone had been waiting to answer it. James's face went from relief to shock in about a half second flat. "Remus," he said in surprise.
"Hey James," returned Remus. "I know it's late. I'm sorry if I woke you guys up."
"Your mother told you," said James, half in statement half in question.
Remus shook his head. "I don't know what you mean."
James frowned deeply. "Why are you here?"
Remus gave a nervous kind of laugh. "I came to see Hermione. Are you okay, James?"
James took a deep breath. "Hermione's not here," he said softly.
Remus checked his watch to make sure what time it was. "Where is she? It's nearly one in the morning."
"I don't know," said James miserably. "Listen mate, I've got to tell you. We went to your house tonight, to see you."
Remus paled visibly. "Oh God," he breathed.
"It was my fault. She and Sirius... and I was worried... I was only trying to do the right thing," James's thoughts were a jumble, confusing and chilling Remus all at the same time.
"Where is she?" Remus repeated desperately.
"I don't know," insisted James. "After we talked to your mum, she disapparated. Sirius and I checked here and at his place, but she wasn't there. I even went to Lily's in case she showed up there."
"Where else could she be this late?" asked Remus.
James shrugged. "Remus, what the hell is going on? Where have you been?"
"Working," returned Remus simply.
"Your mum said that you had found a job and an apartment and that you weren't coming home. Where is this job? And why did you lie about it?"
Remus narrowed his eyes at James, suddenly feeling very angry. "You could never understand. You have everything. You have family and a home and a future, you're a Potter."
"You have those same things," countered James, not understanding where his anger was coming from. "So what if I'm a Potter, you're a Lupin, just because you're family isn't as old as mine doesn't mean it's any less respectable."
"No, I'm a werewolf," shouted Remus. "I'm not anything but that in the eyes of the world. It doesn't matter that I had better grades in school than all of you, when it came down to it, all people saw was the wolf."
James looked down at his feet feeling ashamed. They accepted Remus so readily that it was easy to forget that others didn't. They didn't care that he was a werewolf, hell they used it for their own benefit. It never occurred to him how hard it would be once Remus left the safety of Hogwarts.
"I'm sorry," mumbled James. "You're right. I didn't know."
"I've got to find Hermione," said Remus desperately. "She thinks I lied and I did, but I did it all for her."
"I help you, mate," said James quickly. "Just let me get my wand."
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Hermione stood indecisively outside of Sirius's apartment. It wasn't fair that she always ran to him when she felt bad. She should be strong enough to figure stuff out on her own, but right now she didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to be taken care of, so she took a deep breath and knocked.
It took over a minute and she was about to knock again, when Sirius answered the door. He was wearing nothing but a faded pair of sweatpants and his longish black hair was a bit ruffled. "Hermione," he said in surprise.
"Hi," she returned softly. "I'm sorry it's so late, but I didn't know where else to go."
Sirius stared at her barely breathing. Her eyes were red and her face was puffy from crying. She looked so tired and fragile.
"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked in a soft, almost inaudible voice.
"Sure," he murmured, "of course." He held the door open wide for her. "Come in."
Hermione stepped into the apartment and Sirius quickly closed the door behind them.
"Where have you been?" he asked. "I was worried."
Hermione shrugged. "Around, I needed to think."
"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Did you..."
"I don't want to talk about tonight," Hermione said cutting him off. "I don't want to think about it anymore."
Sirius nodded. "Okay," he agreed. "That's fine. We don't have to."
"I just want some sleep," she said, almost pitifully.
"Okay," he said again. "Let's put you to bed and in the morning we'll figure everything out." He started to lead her to his bedroom.
"Wait," she said. "I can't put you out of your room again. It would be the second night in a row."
"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch," returned Sirius firmly. "My father didn't teach me much that is worth holding on to, but he did teach me how to be a gentleman. You'll sleep in my room. And you can borrow one of my shirts to sleep in, might as well get comfortable."
Hermione surprised him by grabbing him in a fierce hug. Feeling her touch the bare skin of his chest sent currents through his body. When his wits returned, he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "Shh," he murmured. "It'll be okay, I promise. Everything looks better in the morning."
She sniffed loudly. "What am I going to do when you start Auror training? You won't have time to help me out of all my problems."
"I'll always have time for you, Hermione," said Sirius, his throat growing tight. "I love you."
"I love you too," returned Hermione. She gave him one last tight squeeze, before entering Sirius's bedroom. "Good night," she said, before closing the door.
Sirius rested his head heavily against the wall next to his bedroom door. "No, I love you," he murmured.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
"Hurry up, James," said Remus impatiently. He was so worried about Hermione. Who knew where she was and what she was thinking of him right now.
"I'm coming," said James, hurrying outside to join Remus, his wand in hand. "Where are we going?"
"Maybe Sirius has heard from her or Lily?" suggested Remus.
"Maybe," agreed James. "Should we head to Sirius's first? I don't really fancy waking up Lily's family at this time of night if we don't have to."
Remus nodded his agreement. "Meet you there," he said before apparating.
They were outside of Sirius's door within seconds. It was a risk to apparate where muggles might be walking by, but it was also one o'clock in the morning and they were both pretty sure they were safe.
Remus knocked sharply on Sirius's front door.
Inside, Sirius had just laid down on the couch. He knew he was never going to be able to sleep. His tortured thoughts weren't going to let him.
He was surprised by the knock on the door. He certainly wasn't expecting any other late night visitors. Grumbling, he kicked off the covers and padded to the front door, still clad in only a pair of sweatpants. He threw it open, only to be confronted by both James and Remus.
"Sorry to wake you," said Remus quickly. "But have you seen Hermione."
"Where the hell have you been," returned Sirius angrily.
"Not now, Sirius," said James warningly from behind Remus.
"Then when?" spat Sirius. He turned his attention back to Remus. "Do you have any idea what you put her through tonight?"
"Have you seen her," asked Remus hopefully.
"Are you listening to me?" Sirius shouted back.
"We're going to wake your neighbors," interrupted James. "Maybe we should take this inside."
Remus grew angry. "Don't yell at me, Black. I don't know why you think this is any of your business."
"She is my business," said Sirius.
"No, she's my business," countered Remus. "I know you wish it were different, but she's my girlfriend, not yours."
"You're not acting like it," sneered Sirius. "Lying to her, making her feel like a fool."
"Sirius," said a tired voice from inside the apartment. "Who's there? What's going on?"
Remus's face went white when he recognized the voice. He pushed past Sirius into the apartment to find his girlfriends standing in the middle of the room in a shirt and pair of sweatpants that were obviously too big for her and therefore not her own.
"Remus," Hermione said in shock.
Remus took one more look at Hermione, then turned back to Sirius and punched him square in the jaw sending him sprawling on the floor.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
A/N: You all didn't really think I was going to be having Remus do anything less than honorable did you? I can't believe how many of you suggested he was cheating on Hermione or working for the dark side. Shame, shame, shame. Have you no faith in him? Okay, I'll admit it. I set it up that way and I'm glad it worked.
I consider this story to be one main story with a lot of interconnected little stories. Kind of like those one hour drama's on T.V., so we're about to be done with this little story arc and I'm heading back to the main story.
Here's a tiny spoiler, for those of you who don't want to know. STOP READING NOW!
Anyway, for you James and Lily fans out there, there's going to be a lot more of them in the upcoming chapters. If you all have your handy dandy HP timelines out, you'll realize that they are just two short years away from becoming parents which means they have to be married soon and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Hope you liked this chapter. I think it's even better than the last, but really that's for you to decide. Let me know.
