Cass
Jaysis! She's not screamin' and no chair is bein' used to massage me head - Cass, yeh luck is holdin' out.
An' she's wearin' that owd shirt yeh lent her when the truck went arse over teakettle inna ditch an' tossed yeh across the road when door bust.
She were seh pretty, an smelled seh good, I wanted to eat her right there.
Not that, yeh wankers, Cass knows the difference between dinner an bein' on the job even if he hasn't fed proper in two days!
Me Jackie opens 'er eyes an' moves over. I thought me heart would stop - not that it hasn't more 'n once which has got us in more trouble than Cass cares to remember, seh I says, "Eh lass, care f' a bit o' company to weather to storm out?"
"I could use the company." An' she smiles a' me and holds out her arms, like she means it!
Cass is in!
So I takes 'er in me arms, an she smells even better 'n I thought - 'spensive perfume, worth ev' penny!
Me Jackie weren't drop dead gorgeous, but she were smart, an I likes a smart lass what can take care of hersel' wi' bad taste in men. Otherwise auld Cass would'na stand a chance!
I ventures a kiss, an she returns it and pretty soon we're enjoyin' it, me' runnin' me 'ands up an down 'er back, then me bird stops and pulls away.
Uh oh Cass, what have yeh done to make her go rigid like that? Don' tell me she's changed her mind and plans to toss yeh out on yeh ear! I could force things, but Cass don't like it that way, Cass always wants t' come back f' more - 's good t' be loved, yeh know? An' in this cold owd world yeh don' get it that often.
Then she says, "I don't mind you in my bed, but I'll be goddamed if I share you with those stupid sungalsses!"
Eh? Even Cass don't like to look at his own eyes, not since our Change in 1916. But...well sacrifices must be made! "I will, 'slong 's yeh leaves the lights out once I takes 'em off - got an eye condition what don't like light."
A lie, but good 'nough.
So off they go, an' she caresses me face. I steers her away from me eyes, though they itches somethin' fierce an her cool fingers would relieve them a while. No use answerin' questions about why they feel the way they do.
T'would ruin to mood, it would.
Then she 'elps me wi' me sweater - hot fucker it be! "Did you dress up for me?" she teases.
"Seh yehs noticed, then!" I teases back, an grabs 'er right tight an begin' ticklin' 'er a bit, which me bird didn' say neh to - she returns w' intrest, 's'truth!
"And I bet you even bothered to shave while you were at it."
"Aye, and what would yeh be doin' about it?" An I kisses her fingers all th' way up t' her shoulders.
Pretty soon off come me braces, me shirt and she's all cuddled up against me like kitten t' warm teapot in January. I feel like me dick's gonna bust me zip, but we have all day to draw it out sweet an' fine. I ventures a hand up her back under me borrowed shirt and she freezes again.
"Whass matter lass, did tumble w' truck hurt yeh?"
"It feels so good it hurts, nobody's ever done that to me before. Don't stop."
Nobody? Now that were odd. Who wouldn't want to, Jackie got skin like silk!
Seh I keeps caressin', "Yehs so beautiful, lass, seh beautiful." I tastes her throat and lips again, that's the way! "Owd Cass don't believe yeh when yeh says that, yeh know." She pushes away f' me, rolls over and lies there looking up at to ceiling, kinda laughin' 'neath her breath.
Now what?
"This was supposed to be my wedding day. In the Bahamas. Not some fleabag hotel in the middle of Nowhere, Indiana during a blizzard!" She sits up and puts her arms around her knees in the darkness while the wind be shakin' th' buildin'.
Holy shite Cass, yeh should'a guessed by 't dress on to floor back in New York! But I has to ask, "An' I weren't in yeh plans."
"No, you weren't. My plans included 2.5 kids, a house in the Hamptons, and a husband that didn't smell like beer."
"Well, I don't smell like beer today, whiskey, aye, but not beer..." She reaches out and fetches me a smart ding on the ear. "Wrong toing 't say, eh? Well, Cass is who he..oh Jaysis, you aren't...I didn't think there was such a thing over th' age a twelve these days?"
"Yep." Me Jackie slides over to where I now be leanin' on one elbow on the mattress, "Another Paolo lie I bought sight unseen." She smelled angry.
"A wha'?"
"Never mind, it'd take too long to explain." The anger smell dies down, now she's sad.
Well now...
"I don' know wha' kinda shite yeh an' that hoor got up to, but. I can take care a that if yeh'd only' give us a try.Yeh'd like it - I'm an Irishman, an' Irishmen be good a' sex - t' only thing the fuckin' limeys left us when the bollick's took the country over an stole everytin' else worth ownin'. I rest a hand on her hip. Outside I'm bein' all brashlike, but inside I'm groanin', "Ah Cass, yehs silly ejit, a virgin. In all yeh years on this miserable earth, yeh've only had one a' them, and that were Little Joanie...an' you..an' you..an' you broke her heart an' nearly killed her...yeh worthless motherfucker! Oh shite, I don't wanna 'member that after all this time an' ruin everythin' now!
Let's just say that auld Cass didn't get a virgin the first time neither the day he lied about bein' older'n sixteen an' joined the Home Guard a month before the unpleasantness in Dublin 'round Easter. It were just some dirty owd toothless Dublin hoor out behin' pub 'gainst to wall f' shillin' when it were yer turn after yeh new Home Guard mates had done wi' her. An she called yeh Robert the whole three minutes it took yeh to do to th' dirty deed.
Ah well, at least Cass could piss wi'out screamin' two days after th' Home Guard doc finished doin' his worse t' us what wi' his red hot silver wire an' all. Makes us sweat t' remember it even though it's been nearly eighty years since tha' shite happened.
Now it's Cass' turn to sit up in to bed and put his arms 'round his knees. I don't like rememberin' shite like that. Why can't Cass remember the good shite wi'out the bad shite intrudin' an' ruinin' everythin' every bloody fuckin' time?
"Yeh's got to break a lass in nice 'n easy er' first time," I remembers me big brudder Billy tellin' me one day while we were muckin out privy behind 't tenemant we lived in wi' our ma an' da'. I were twelve an' 'e sixteen. "Elsewise, she'll hate yeh and all men forever an' a day after that an it'll be all yeh fault!" Seh I says, "An how woul' yeh be knowin' that yeh great bollicks?" E' looks all mysterious and then he checks to see if our ma is nearby. Our ma didn'a like no dirty talk 'round 'er, she did, an then 'e says, "Our owd man tol' me so, yeh wee little shite, s' a fact!" "Oooh," I says, cause that were a pretty big secret f' a wee lad like mesel' to be trusted wi', "Our ma, she's pretty lovey wi' our dad, d'yeh think that they..." Then Billy pours a bucket a shite on me boots 'cause speak a' the devil here comes our ma to tell us to stop lallygaggin' an finish all that muckin'!
I wish I'd ha' pestered 'im later that day to get the rest a that lesson - as the day I should ha' got it from me dad, I were bangin' that nasty hoor what smells like fish 'gainst to wall beside 't dustbins, an' she screamin' "Oh Robbie! Oh Robbie!" in me ear the whole damned time!
Seh me Jackie leans against me, an' I puts me arm roun' her, "Now pet, I don't know how or why yeh managed to stay whole all this time, yeh bein' seh delicious an' all, but if yeh really want it, Cass'll take on the job, no problem." I kisses her free han' an' then slides it down me belly and into me trousers real slow an' careful, "There's somebody what's been dyin' to meet yeh f' long time. Now don't be shy, and give us a kiss, eh?"
She were a fast learner when it came to undoin' a fella's zip.
