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- "She's not ready! You're asking her to tell everything as if it was only a day at the beach, but it's far to be the case, she's not ready!" said Scott with strength.

- "I'm aware of it but…"

- "He's right, we have to let her time" approved Logan.

- "She has to express it verbally, writing it or doing it by telepathy wouldn't be efficient, it would not have any therapeutic effect"

- "Give her some time," said Scott "I won't let you rush her"

- "She seems to have stopped being paranoiac, she has spoken freely here, she hasn't stayed in a trance like last month, it's a big step" approved Hank.


Three weeks melt away. Jean's paranoia seemed to have really disappeared even if she was even more vigilant than before. She had also regained the custom of sleeping in Scott's bed. And this night she had felt that she had to free herself of a huge weight.

Jean and Scott were laying on the bed, in the half-light.

- "You wanted us to go to bed earlier, so here we are" said Scott.

Jean was on her back, her glance staring at the ceiling, he was leaning on one of his elbow so that he was facing her and he was feeling that she was struggling with herself through their bond.

- "I….I know I have to speak about what happened to me. And I must not do it through our bond. In all ways, even if I could, I wouldn't because I don't want you to see and feel it. Yet I blame myself for having to tell it to you, but I don't feel like I'm able to do it with anybody else..."

- "Don't worry about me, I know a lot and the most important thing is that you free yourself" he told her for encouraging her.

She let out a loud sigh and, as Scott was beginning to think that she wouldn't do it, started:

- "When I've left you at school this very day, I've taken the way back but there was road work which wasn't there in the morning… I was thinking about you and waiting for the traffic light to turn green. As I was starting to drive again, I felt a strong pain in the back of my neck and I only had the time to see that it was a hypodermic dart then I passed out…"

She took a pause and carried on:

- "I dunno how long I've stayed out…when I woke up, I was in a grimy and humid cell which…"her voice trembled.

- "Jean…"

- "No, I have to do it."

She closed her eyes some instants then started again:

- "I was in this cell which only had an opened window equipped with bars. There was a rudimentary bathroom…" she bit her lips, tears were beginning to run through her cheeks, this bathroom was reminding her of so much bad recalls, recalls she would have to relate. "I couldn't use my power because of this collar they had placed around my neck and which was firmly fixed, I spent the night trying to escape but without any success..."

Scott waited for her to resume.

- "The day after the chief and one guard came, I asked questions, he answered to it by saying me it would be the last ones. They told me who they were and why I was there, I tried to react, he slapped me. Then he'd asked the other to bring me to the room…the room…of…of tortures" she said "But he had let the door opened with only this guard, so I've attacked him and I've escaped. I've managed to go out of the cell and went on some ten meters, but all was planned, the chief was waiting for me and he beat me black and blue….I…I had never felt so much pain in all my life, I…I didn't want to scream but it was too painful…….The guard I had attacked dragged me back to the cell and I think I've passed out." She carried on, tears running even more out of her eyes "I'd just regained consciousness when two men came for bringing me in that horrible room…"

Scott didn't interrupt her, even when she had had to take some minutes To express some points, even when the tears were overwhelming. She related everything to him, the tortures, the starvation, the thirstiness, the rapes, the pain, the humiliation, the feeling of dirtiness, the beatings. She arrived to the end after more than one and half an hour:

- "…my legs were broken, the pain was horrible, It was to a point that I was almost unable to feel it …….I wanted to die…….and I knew that it was what would happen. But even for that they wouldn't spare me the suffering…….they told me how they had dissected alive the previous 'subjects' until death………………I don't remember anything after that, I don't remember you getting me out of there, I don't remember…but everything else….everything else is engraved…."

She had told everything, and all the pressure collapsed on her, she burst in sobs; she who was thinking she hadn't anymore after all these months, all the tears she had had during her telling. Scott held her against him and rocked her slowly. He let his own tears flowing out.

- "You did it Jean, you told it…. "

- "It's haunting me Scott…it's…it's haunting me……"

- "I know…"

She finally fell asleep from exhaustion.


The day after, she was still sleeping when he woke up, after all she had had a really bad nightmare during the night. Scott laid a kiss on her forehead and went to take a shower before going down.

- "Where is doctor Mc Taggart?" asked Scott to some students.

He knew this woman was there for Jean, but he couldn't help to feel resentment toward her

- "She should…" began Rogue.

- "I'm here" she said by coming with Hank.

- "You'll be delighted, Jean related me everything without using our link, she told me everything before broking down"

- "Scott, don't think that the thought thtat it's difficult for her pleases me, I'm not here for making her suffer but for helping her, and what she's done is a very big step"

- "The fact of having to turn it over in her mind!"

- "Yes Scott, she not the only one to know anymore, she shared it with you" approved the Professor.

Toward him, Scott showed more respect.

- "She was blaming herself for that, but she didn't want to speak about that to anybody else"

- "She stayed upstairs?" asked Hank.

- "She's still sleeping, she fell asleep from exhaustion yesterday night and she had a violent nightmare which has made the entire bedroom shake; this has completely emptied her."

- "Exactly Scott" said Moïra "It's as if she had punctured an abscess, once this is done, it can heal more easily, even if the mark will stay"

- "You only know the top of the iceberg doctor Mc Taggart, only the top…" said Scott.

- "Maybe, but the most important is that Jean has told everything to someone, the fact that it's not me doesn't bother me, and doesn't surprise me Scott, the most important is that she has told it."


One month later, Jean woke up with a start and burst in tears. Scott did like he had always acted: he held her against him and soothed her with soft words, laying kisses on her cheek, her hair or her forehead. But it was far to imagine what would happen, Jean suddenly laid her lips on the edge of his mouth, then on his lips, at first timidly, before really kissing him. Scott answered to it, he couldn't think at this instant. This last for some seconds, less than one minute, before that, all of a sudden, the charm broke itself and that she pushed him back :

- "No!"

- "Jean, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have answered to your kiss"

- "It's not you, it's…" she burst in tears again.

Scott wanted to comfort her, and laid his hand on her waist, but she pushed him back.

- "Don't touch me! Leave me alone!..." she said before turning herself in the bed, her back toward him.

- "Jean…"

- "Leave me alone"

She didn't speak to him for all the days which followed; she avoided him which didn't go unnoticed, her who usually was always near of the adolescent. The next day, as Scott was entering in the kitchen, the professors where gathered and speaking about it:

- "No, I have also noticed this sudden change, I haven't heard her pronounced any word, she's distant and almost absent" said Hank.

- "Scott, did something happen?" asked Ororo by seeing him coming.

He sighed and answered:

- "Yeah, two days ago. She woke up in the middle of night, in tears, I've comforted her and she…she kissed me" he said, the others stayed silent "At first timidly, then with passion. I love her, I couldn't help myself to answer to it, and I shouldn't have, maybe I should have push her back, I don't know"

- "What happened after?" asked Logan.

- "After some instants, she suddenly pushed me back, she told me it was her fault, she was crying even more but didn't let me take her in my arms. Since then, she's avoiding me, she pretends to be asleep the morning, she…"

- "How do you know that?" asked Moïra.

- "Our bond" answered Scott by indicating his temple.

- "This explains her behaviour" said the Professor.

- "Yes, you have nothing to blame yourself Scott, it's her who made the first step, if you had pushed her back, she wouldn't have been able to re-experiencing what was kissing someone she loves and would have has the same reaction, this would have been worse" explained Moïra "Here, she's lost, she must be asking herself a lot of questions for the reasons which have pushed her to kiss you, about what she felt, why she pushed you back and even more. Give her time, she made a giant step"

- "But I could help her, here I've the feeling that's she's considering me like then, it's…"

- "She needs to do this way alone"


The very evening, Jean was yet at bed, turning her back on him as the two nights before. Scott leaned on one of his elbow and asked:

- "Jean, are you mad at me? Maybe I shouldn't have answered to your kiss, and broke it before you, I dunno, but do you hate me?"


To be continued

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